So long, my sunshine
You came into my life unexpectedly, and we connected well. I didn’t expect to meet someone like you in my life, and I’m very thankful I got to know you. I know I decided to walk away, and you said you’d understand. But I’m writing this just so you’ll know better.
We really thought we understood each other, but I think we didn’t. I decided to walk away because I see how you’re being careful not to hurt me, which ends up hurting yourself. I will walk away so you’ll be free from my expectations. I know I said that I’ll be by your side until you say to me that you don’t want me here anymore. And I think you can’t say that to me because you’re afraid of hurting me, so I’ll save you the pain and responsibility of deciding.
I’ll be gone from your life so you can start over fresh and do things right this time around. I know we both have our faults, and I think that me walking away would help both of us to be free from the chains of the past mistakes we’ve made. Let’s do things right this time.
I’m sorry for being difficult. I’m sorry for making you feel wronged and doubted. I’m sorry for trying to control your life. I’m sorry for saying hurtful things. I’m really sorry for every wrong thing I did. You didn’t deserve that kind of treatment from me. I thought I was doing well with our relationship, but I failed to see the faults until it was too late. You did your best to try and help me, but I was immature and too demanding. I hope you can forgive me someday for all the things I did. I’m sorry for everything.
Thank you for making me feel alive. Thank you for trying your best in everything. Thank you for all the memories. I will cherish those memories with me until the end. It was a painful ending, but all the experiences we had together were worth all the pain.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I know how kind you are, and you’ll probably feel sorry for hurting me as well, but sometimes these kinds of things happen no matter what. I also know I can’t give you the love that you need and want right now, as I’m still in this pathetic version of me. So I’m letting you go.
May you find the love that doesn’t require you to try too much just to be believed. May you find someone who can give you the things I couldn’t give. May you find the love of your life where you can be truly you. I pray for your genuine happiness and wellness.
You know I’m still hoping that maybe one day we’ll find our way back into each other—the best version of us—and I hope that when that time comes, I still have the chance. The chances are slim to none, but I’m not losing hope. For now, I’ll focus on myself and try to get rid of this pathetic and loser version of mine. I promised you I’ll be better, and I’ll keep that promise. I’ll take good care of myself and make myself better.
Take care of yourself too. Continue to do the things you love, and don’t lose your spark. You are too precious, and the world is really lucky to have you in it. I love you always.
So long, my sunshine.