r/HonestHotTakes

Owning a per does not equal parenthood. Why cant actual mothers just have a day to celebrate them?

Same with fathers day when it comes up.

Why is this such a thing?

Edited to add and because everyone asking the same thing:

It takes away from the sacrifices mothers take to be mothers. It lessens the importance of their job. It says theyre not special.

But mainly it bugs me because it seems in this world people can't be celebrated in a seperate way. There is fathers day. There is mothers day. There is grand parents day. There is siblings day. There is womens day. There is mens day. There is even an infertility awareness day. And even a pets day and pets parents day!

Why can't we just celebrate the people on their days instead of making every day about every one? Why do people need to be included in everything all the time without just building others up for what they are special for?

And no, I would never actually say anything to anyone about it. And it doesnt effect me specifically, but it does effect everyone over all. When everyonenis celebrated, no one is celebrated.

Kind of like when all participants get a ribbon, but I think thats a hot take too.

I say it without any disrespect to any religious people, so dont try and attack me in the comments at the end of the day it's just my personal belief and opinion. But I truly don't get why anyone would worship a God that would send those who don't worship him to eternal damnation and suffering. Personally, I think it's unfair and doesn't come across as this all loving, all powerful being. It just comes across as immature to me (again no disrespect to the religion or any Christians beliefs).

So many believe a “traditional” relationship, one where the man is the sole provider and the woman is the sole care giver, is the way humans did relationships for millennia. No, they honestly didn’t.

That framework for a relationship is much more resent. It became the dominant framework sometime after the industrial revolution. Reaching its peak I would say in and around the 1950s.

I know it’s not how people traditionally did relationships because, in America for example, most pre-industrialist Americans were farmers and homesteaders. Even most peasant Europeans, pre-American Europe, were farmers and homesteaders.

One person cannot successfully manage a farm or homestead on their own. It requires multiple people, a whole family to work on it. For most people to be farmers and homesteaders, and to think that traditionally a man left all day to go work, while the woman stayed home to manage the house, the whole homestead, all on her own while taking care of children, is ridiculous. It would be damn near impossible to manage such a lifestyle!

No, traditionally, men and women worked together to manage their farm or homestead. Multiple generations of families would live and work together on homesteads. They would have to.

There weren’t large grocery stores back then. There weren’t all these jobs to make a living like there is now.

No, the way most married couples and common people survived and lived their lives back then, was by working together and managing a homestead. Both men and woman, families, and capable children.

So to call the relationship framework of the man is the provider and the woman is the care giver, “Traditional”, is completely inaccurate to say the least. It isn’t traditional by any stretch of the word. Living and working together as a couple and family was actually what has always been traditional.

Mcdonalds? Sure bring em.
A waterpark? Great, let the kids play.
Church? Ok cool everyone is welcome.
Planes and trains? Fine, we don’t have a choice, you need to travel.

A movie theatre????
A quiet upper scale restaurant???
A tennis match at Wimbledon???
A chess tournament event???
Golfing???

If they are around the age of 7-10 and well behaved then it’s fine. Otherwise, LEAVE YOUR KIDS AT HOME. Please stop trying to make us all suffer for your personal choices and then cry when you get kicked out for the disruption.

I’m really emphasising the movie theatre one. (Kids movies excluded) Why are you bringing your 4yo to watch Sinners? There is absolutely zero justification to bring a child to the cinema for that. Don’t even bring them in for Marvel movies. They don’t know or care what is happening and we don’t want to hear crying/giggling/footsteps while watching. Please spare us I BEG

Edit: a real sensitive parent sent my username to the reddit self harm bot as a false claim that I am suicidal. This is just one example of parents doing anything but looking in the mirror because they can’t handle being called out on being a terrible parent. We don’t want your kids around because you don’t raise them correctly… and it shows.

Every time an age gap comes up, say a 46 yo guy and a 33 y o woman there's a ton of comments about "they're at different points in life!" and all the rest. I don't think it's a big deal what gap there is after a certain age (around 25) and if people are worried about power dynamics in relationships , then these dynamics can also shift at a certain point. Let's say a 74 yo guy and a 25 yo woman. Who actually holds the power on this situation? The guy almost certainly has something else to grt a young girlfriend (money, fame, power, etc.) but the girlfriend also likely has a lot of autonomy and control too. I don't buy the idea that just becuase he's older, he's in control.

Tangent alert but related!

Take a look at the Russian spy (Butina) who was sent to the us to infiltrate the nra. She got very close to many high ranking Republicans within the org, and was sleeping with one of the guys. There was like a 30 year age gap. But clearly, she was the one taking advantage of him. To act like age is an accurate representation of power dynamics is nonsense. Especially with old dudes and young women, all she had to do was rub up on the guy and he was done.

Anyway. I feel like the current views on age gaps in relationships is weird and inaccurate.

Taking kids on vacation before they can form memories is one of the most confidently stupid things parents do, and I am so goddamn tired of pretending otherwise.

The kid will not remember any of it. Not the beach, not the resort, not Mexico, not a single second. The memory formation is not there yet.

The child does not have experience. Parents are dragging a small screaming potato through three connecting flights to post a photo of them in a sombrero captioned "making memories." They are not making memories. The parents are the only ones making memories, and they are all of a screaming child on a plane. And let's be honest, half the reason it's happening is for the instagram post. The "first flight" onesie. The coordinated airport outfits. The grid. The kid is a prop, and everyone knows it.

The suffering gets distributed to every poor bastard in the vicinity except the baby, who has absolutely no idea what a vacation is. The people on the plane who just wanted to sleep. The couple at the next table who saved up for a nice goddamn dinner. The people at the hotel at 2am. Not one of them consented to this.

Nobody wants to talk about the safety angle either. Three cocktails deep at a swim-up bar in a country where nobody speaks the language, nobody has slept in two days, and somewhere nearby is a twenty pound person with no survival instincts in an unfamiliar place. Kids get lost with sober attentive parents in places they know.

And then somehow, it's a complete shock when the kid is an absolute disaster for the entire trip because their sleep schedule just got obliterated across four time zones. Every single time, this surprises people. Every single goddamn time.

The most infuriating part is that parents do this exclusively when the kid will lose their shit over a slightly wrong shade of yellow and can't enjoy a single thing, then stop taking them on trips the moment they're old enough to behave and actually remember it.

Leave the baby with someone you trust. Go on the trip. Get drunk without a toddler as a liability. The kid will not know the difference. The forty people on that flight absolutely will.

Edit: it will always amaze me how people will dog on the weakest argument and ignore the rest, read the entire thing, people.

Nowadays, the difference between desktop and laptop component counterparts is way too large. Like the RTX 5090 laptop has 50% performance of the desktop version. Companies should have to say something like rtx 5090 50% (idk).

It's ridiculous how anyone on social media can just start filming or take pictures of people without their knowledge or approval and post it publicly.

Monogamy is the socially encouraged or enforced norm in society and it doesn’t fit everyone. If consensual nonmonogamy was a normalized option many would and should take it. Rates of infidelity in marriage are high and indicate that many people are not well suited to monogamy. We demonize people that cheat so readily but maybe they just require a relationship paradigm that isn’t commonly available or socially acceptable and should be. Yes I know people would still cheat, because humans are humans and yes I know you can cheat in a CNM relationship too. I’m simply suggesting that we accept people that feel constrained by monogamy and make space for them to have very normal consensual relationships where they have more than one person in their life.

Coming from someone who loves to help out with moms with young kids. Offer to pick up the slack when the mom is suffering from morning sickness? Sure. Offer to help around the house during late stage pregnancy/post partum? Yep. Be understanding when she can't do a favor for me because she has multiple little humans she's trying to keep alive? 100%, no question. And just being a good friend in general. Realizing young moms are often lonely and can't get out of the house much, so you organize visits. Offering to make meals when they have the flu. Etc.

But pity them and feel bad for them for having exactly what they chose? Nope. No one is putting their own lives on hold to help exhausted college students. No one is checking in on dads that are working 80 hours a week and then helping out at home. When it's them, they're "just doing their duty." If they work 80+ hours a week and DON'T do much at home, they're "dead beats".

I'm not saying mothers shouldn't be, and in fact, they should particularly be, helped out and checked in on. But you CHOSE that, you are not a victim. I see so many moms complain when someone doesn't notice them. But did they think check on that person that they're offended with? Maybe that person just lost a parent. Just got let go. Is struggling with their health. Is swamped with work and study. Is going through infertility. Is going through a mental health crisis.

I see women online making the joke that if men suffer in silence like they say they do, we sure hear about it all the time. I would use that same quote for modern moms.

I think good mothers ARE special. I am a woman that wants kids myself. But I'm not going to be awestruck by or pity you purely for something you chose to do, and may or may not be even doing a good job at. The mothers that complain the most are usually the most neglectful.

(Disclaimer: I know I said all this, but I do believe in assisting mothers!! Things can still be rough even if you want them! I do respect good mothers!)

I’ve seen that often online when a guy expresses disappointment over modern dating in any way he’s met with insults and people him a misogynist or a spiteful incel and that must be the reason he isn’t successful in dating.

Though it’s very clear in personal experience and dating apps statistics that women are far more selective when it comes to choosing partners. This already puts even average dudes at a disadvantage.

Secondly, we can see that clearly evil people such as dictators like Hitler and Stalin were successful in dating, and people with boring or shitty personalities like Clavicular are even more successful.

Furthermore almost all women seem to have some bad experiences from nearly every ex they’ve had. Even if they’re currently dating someone now, wouldn’t that mean there’s still several bad guys who are successful in dating compared to only one good guy (who may still be bad)?

So uh.. yall wanted a hot take so I’m giving you one. There I said it. She is a hypocrite.

So this is coming from a Billie fan of 8 years, uhm.. she’s a damn hypocrite. You see in an interview she said and I quote: “eating meat is inherently wrong, and then the other thing is two things cannot coincide. I love animals, I love all animals so much! And I eat meat, you just, you can’t do both, sorry!”

Genuinely wtf are you talking about?? Mind you she uses Maybelline (L’Oreal) which isn’t vegan and tests on animals, She uses Nars which isn’t vegan and does animal testing, She uses Laura Mercier; which does animal testing etc etc. I could go on and on about that.

And she’s also said “I hate billionaires”. Sweetie you’re making a HIT ME HARD AND SOFT MOVIE coming May 8th. Be so serious??

She’s also said on the Billboard interview in 2024 that she “hates when people make a bunch of vinyl variants”.. you do the same damn thing. Even if they are recycled your still a hypocrite.

And her fragrance line? NOT CRUELTY FREE AND IS NOT VEGAN!! Billie, you are stupid.

This just shows how she’s so hypocritical in so many ways? How are you gonna say you are vegan but all of this shows you’re kinda not? Honestly be so fr

Pedophilia is deep set and the taboos behind it only worsens the issue. If a pedophile doesn't want to cause harm and actively seeks help to mend it, that makes them a good person regardless of what they fantasize which by the way is largely involuntary. It's something they can't change by themselves and maybe only pacify, but that won't happen if we don't hold out our hand to people trying to destroy their demons.

i’ve seen this time and time again where people say that it’s “weird” for their kids father to change their kids diapers and i’m tired of it. first off: why the hell would you have kids with someone you think would be disgusting and into that shit? second: two people made the kid so two people put effort into it. as a woman im not going to be the one cleaning explosive diarrhea every damn time and i genuinely don’t think it’s weird for my man to change diapers from time to time. think about it: it’s not weird for me to change my sons diapers so why’s it weird for him to change our daughters diapers? also another hot take i have is it’s really fucking odd to kiss your kids on the lips. i’m talking specifically about italian parents who proper make out with their toddlers. now that’s weird.

I only tagged this as a serious hot take because I know she's very popular and people worship her, but as a woman myself, I don't feel too empowered by the world she build around her music videos. In a behind the scenes in Taste featuring Jenna Ortega, Sabrina said that in her world, women are immortal and men suffer. It's kind of weird. I understand it's supposed to be "feminist" but let's be real. Nobody wants to live in a world like that. Not the men, not even the women. This implies that the innocent men die too, which was pretty much confirmed in her latest MV House Tour. I prefer it like in Feather where the men deserved it, but it seems like Sabrina's ideal world is a world where men die no matter what and women are put on a pedestal, even if they're bad people. I don't personally feel empowered by it and I'm a bit concerned for women who do, but I don't want to meddle. I'm just saying that I find it a little weird.

I work in GI and am at a loss for how many people walk in that are on a GLP-1. It has many side effects and honestly, I feel like it discourages people from to go to the gym and lose the weight. Besides those with health issues, or mothers who just gave birth and are struggling to lose the weight, I think they should at least try diet and exercise for 1 year before they decide to take an injection every week or two weeks

Edit: I am not fat shaming anyone, and no I’m not a mother myself

Another edit, I even put the words “I think” in the title, these are not facts and I understand it’s a HOT TAKE meaning most people disagree with me. That being said I am open ears

Idk where the stigma comes from when people say that east asians like korea, china and japan wanna look white when it's not true. They see "white" as the literal definition of paper white skin due to old beauty standards of wealthy people not working in the sun which makes it a "noble" trait. Most of the beauties who east asian people wanna look like are fully east asian girls and a lot of mixed white kpop idols in Korea are not popular and get ridiculed because they look too "foreign" or "rugged".

And where does the dispute come from of white girls wanting to look black? When did tanned skin = wanting to be black? Most of them just wanna look like they came from a vacation tanning in the sun because it's a sign of being healthy and active especially in countries like Australia and America. I'll admit the tanning does go way too far but I promise you it's not because they want to be black.

The whole thing about black girls having "eurocentric features" as well. That doesn't even make sense. A button or smaller nose doesn't equate to having eurocentric features. A black girl having well balanced features does not equate to her having some sort of hidden european ancestry or looking "eurocentric". I've seen people calling Anok yai eurocentric. Are you fucking crazy????!!!

In short I'm sick of people trying to make people of a specific race or ethnicity want to look like another race or ethnicity just because of their own close-minded thoughts and stereotypes of said race. It's kind of like wanting to feel superior in a way. Reminds me of how white anime fans think that mangakas make their characters look "white" and have the idea that all japanese people wanna be white even though most handsome anime mcs all look like a variation of a very handsome japanese actor.

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I am speaking this as someone who technically would be described as a "nerd" based on the kind of person I am. But i never claim that term

Every "nerd" i have ever met is so insufferable. They

Are obnoxious, treat people like shit and if you call out their behaviour they say you are bullying them for being a nerd.

This applies to geeks,weebs, losers and all such communities too

No one hates you cause you like anime. People hate you cause you harass people and fetishise Japanese people to the point where it makes everyone uncomfortable. Walking around wearing hentai shirts and all

This is just a example but you get what i mean.

And not mention the weird gatekeeping culture they have

Seriously i hate that if you like anything( band, movie, show etc) and the fans of that media will call you a larper

Like what the hell. I was initially confused seeing the term everywhere cause larp always meant live action role play

But now it's apparently a synonym for poser

And if you like literally anything the fans of that thing will call you a poser or larper

You see this with video game nerds too who call everyone a poser. Cause they are convinced no one likes them since they play video games.

You are not special if you like games, a certain band or anything of that sort. Get over yourself

It looks creepy.