u/Simple-Artichoke-666

Coming from someone who loves to help out with moms with young kids. Offer to pick up the slack when the mom is suffering from morning sickness? Sure. Offer to help around the house during late stage pregnancy/post partum? Yep. Be understanding when she can't do a favor for me because she has multiple little humans she's trying to keep alive? 100%, no question. And just being a good friend in general. Realizing young moms are often lonely and can't get out of the house much, so you organize visits. Offering to make meals when they have the flu. Etc.

But pity them and feel bad for them for having exactly what they chose? Nope. No one is putting their own lives on hold to help exhausted college students. No one is checking in on dads that are working 80 hours a week and then helping out at home. When it's them, they're "just doing their duty." If they work 80+ hours a week and DON'T do much at home, they're "dead beats".

I'm not saying mothers shouldn't be, and in fact, they should particularly be, helped out and checked in on. But you CHOSE that, you are not a victim. I see so many moms complain when someone doesn't notice them. But did they think check on that person that they're offended with? Maybe that person just lost a parent. Just got let go. Is struggling with their health. Is swamped with work and study. Is going through infertility. Is going through a mental health crisis.

I see women online making the joke that if men suffer in silence like they say they do, we sure hear about it all the time. I would use that same quote for modern moms.

I think good mothers ARE special. I am a woman that wants kids myself. But I'm not going to be awestruck by or pity you purely for something you chose to do, and may or may not be even doing a good job at. The mothers that complain the most are usually the most neglectful.

(Disclaimer: I know I said all this, but I do believe in assisting mothers!! Things can still be rough even if you want them! I do respect good mothers!)