r/Herpes

I’ve had HSV-1 for about 3 years now and after I started tracking my outbreaks meticulously I’ve noticed I think is odd but want to see if anyone else has the same issue.

I have my outbreaks about every 3 months or so with my outbreak being in the form of a big bubble on medial part of my bottom lip. Once the bubble clears up from valacyclovir I usually always have a second outbreak that is characterized by several tiny blisters that appear in the corner in my mouth. This second occurrence clears up with valacyclovir in a few days as well. Once it does I’m in the clear for the next 3 months.

Does anyone have any clue why I have this repeat occurrence and what its causes may be? Labs for both clusters both came back as HSV-1 just interesting how differently the two locations manifest.

Everyone on here wishes wed have done something different guess what fukn Brad Pitt has same issue as us there is no point crying if your great grandpa who died for your freedom at 18 could see you now he'd say put a bandage on that shit and get back to your life pussy boy remember that when you see a homeless man with half a leg and his face all fucked I bet he wishes he was you so get your shit together and live. Big pharma ain't ever letting the cure come out ya maybe in 10 -15 years but wtf are you gonna do until then lurk here ? If your a female and have this unless it was sa get over it females never have a hard time with disclosure cause men really aren't that concerned if youre a man on here crying fukn give your head a shake and get on with life this is the game and if this breaks you then you lost dont lose.

I ho0ked up with a guy from Grindr and after he finished he said he was going to his car to get something but instead blocked me on snap and grind and left. I recently figured out he did that because he gave me h3rpes. I downloaded my snap data to find his username and find him on a friends account but it turns out he deleted his snap too. Is there anything I can do to find him? Was he just intentionally trying to give people h3rpes? He also asked to freak with the lights off which I gave him the benefit of the doubt because I thought maybe he was just insecure. Lord I feel so stupid lol

this is my story on how it got bad and how i’m now happy and thriving cause im a badass

(insert fresh prince of bell air theme song)

so to start off i’m male, 22 years old, i got ghsv2 around 8-9 months ago and im not going to sugar coat it. it sucked bad. the girl that had given it to me knew fully well what she was doing as she wrote in her extensively long paragraph on instagram as her username said “instagram user” since i had been blocked. she moved and i stayed in my city having to deal with what was my new life

first couple of weeks were the worse, i was reading stories online about how other people experiences were , bad or good and it put me in a dark place. i didn’t want to even tell anyone for the longest time

fast forward a few months and i had met this pretty nice girl. we hit it off great and became great friends, i had told her i was not wanting a relationship but as time went on she kept persisting. i kept saying no and eventually one night we had a couple of drinks and had got on me trying to touch my pickle( not gona happen) i gave her the final”NO” and eventually i ended up telling her about my diagnosis. she ended up being very understanding about it as i explained what it was and how it happend the whole 9 yards

now here’s where you think things get better

fUck no it didn’t

she went and told all of her friends about how i had herpes/hsv2 and was eventually blocked out of the blue. couple of more weeks later i start getting texts from my friends about instagram storys saying how girls in the area to be cautious of me for having hsv2 and how i was “trying to spread it without their knowledge “

as for somone i thought could be trusted close to me with something i was very sensitive about this made me feel so many emotions. to be lied about, betrayed by somone i trusted.

by this point i didn’t even want to let myself out of my house. i felt less then human, like a monster. for something i didn’t ask to get and for roumors and lies to be made of me i wanted to just end it all and quit game.

i had got rid of everything i owned at this point, i was ready to let go. but something told me to just hold off one more day. i made a lengthy post on instagram and facebook of my side of the story, about 7 walls of text back to back. it was the biggest weight off my shoulders by far.

as i woke up from my hungover state of mind i checked my phone to an overwhelming amount of support from my friends and family, hearing stories about other people’s experiences and how they were afraid to let others know and congratulated me for coming out , even if i didn’t want to. i actually got to talk to one of my parents friends who both had hsv2 and how things worked for them. it made me feel human again

as for the girl who started the whole rumor she had texted me about how sorry she was that she told her girl friends and it had got blown out of proportion , i let her know i forgive her but will not let things go back to the way it was.

since then things have settled out. i don’t care what people think, i do what i want and i get outside and i get active. what’s really helped me out from the whole shabang of bullshit was having my small group of friends support and help me out through the whole ordeal. riding motorcycle and hitting fat ass wheelies on the streets with the boys really brings me back to who i used to be.

although things are better i still have no idea what it will be like in the future for me dating wise but i will say, the less you look at it, the less of a problem it becomes (to certain things of course)

so if you’re down and feeling crappy go outside and learn a new skill, get busy. do something productive and stop sitting inside

side note, i have noticed changing my diet and being healthier has helped with outbreaks more then antivirals have for me. not sure how it is with everyone else but there is that

TLDR- i got herpes , rumors and shit got spread around, i got better cause i ride motorcycles and do wheelies cause im a fucking badass that cranks hogs

and i own a GMT800 HOSS

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Today is day of diagnosis and my first outbreak. I am in SO MUCH PAIN. My ears ache and my lymph nodes are swollen to where swallowing makes me want to cry. My pharmacy can’t fill any prescriptions until tomorrow so it’s me and Tylenol against it all.

Anyways, I’m a face sleeper and right now I have sores the size of small grapes along my chin and cheeks. I have never once in my whole life slept on my back and I don’t know how to get to sleep not on my face. Everything I read says not to cover the sores overnight, but I don’t know what to do. Any tips for surviving the night?

23F here, and checking in with an update from my first 3 months of having HSV2.

First and foremost, it is going to be okay. Life doesn’t end with your diagnosis.

My first and only outbreak was absolutely terrible. I had tearing and raw skin down there, (not so much “blisters”). I got a terrible fever, chills, aches, and felt like I had the flu with the added discomfort of the genital tearing.

But once that first initial outbreak ended, things really started to look up. I’m a flight attendant, so I often have a changing sleep schedule as well as inconsistent nutrition and exercise habits. It’s definitely not the most “stress-free” job, either. Prior to this, I was a Division I athlete and I had a very set schedule of workouts and classes. I try to keep as physically fit as possible, but with traveling so much, it’s hard to be consistent. Either way, my schedule would normally be HSV2’s best friend. But! With daily valcyclovir, I haven’t had an outbreak since my first. I’ve even caught a cold since my first outbreak and didn’t have any symptoms that would be cause for concern besides my pelvic nodes being a little swollen.

As far as my sex life goes, it’s fine lol. I told my only partner at the time and he literally didn’t care at all. He got tested and ended up being negative, but we’ve continued to have a normal sex life with me being medicated!

All I wanted to really say is if you’re new to this, get off this subreddit and go live your life. MANY people live with some form of herpes and manage it through medication and/or lifestyle changes. It will 100% be okay at the end of the day. To those struggling, I feel for you and hope that things get better. But to anyone else who needs a little bit of hope after their diagnosis, just keep your head up and don’t worry so much about what others will think. Even in general, that’s no way to live. The right people will understand and accept you for who you are. And proper symptom management comes with trial and error. I’m VERY lucky that daily valcyclovir works for me and my lifestyle, but if you’re in a position where you don’t know what to do, plenty of providers have lots and lots of experience helping others who are dealing with this too.

Full disclosure, when I was diagnosed, the doctor told me she’s had it for 20+ years now and forgets it’s even part of her life. And she has a husband and kids :)

Good luck to everyone navigating this ❤️ You’re the still same you, after all. Just an extra layer of perseverance now.

Atypical HSV cases and success stories! Let’s share some stories of atypical, frequent and or wide spread and rare extreme symptoms. I am in serious need of some positive news for the rare case. I’d love happy stories.

And then there’s days like today, when I think about it. I hate to be negative, but I just need to talk to people who understand. I’ve had genital herpes for almost two years, and I got it from my first partner who I was monogamous with. I had never dated anyone before him. I only had kissed one other person before him, and I thought I did everything right. I reserved intimacy for love, and I loved him so much. Eventually, the relationship turned bad and toxic, but I stayed for love. Then, at 19 while in a relationship with this person I had my first outbreak and was diagnosed. I thought I did everything right. I waited for the right person who turned out to be the wrong person, and when I finally left that toxic relationship, I had this virus with virtually no dating experience. Now, I’m 21 and still have yet to find another person I would want to be in a relationship with. My entire perspective on intimacy has shifted, and I’ve had two intimate partners since my last relationship and being diagnosed. I’ve had one bad disclosure, and many many breakdowns.

Even when I was intimate with these two people, I saw their fear and hesitation, and I just felt like I was this big hazard. Now, most days this doesn’t bother me simply because this doesn’t define who I am, and there’s virtually nothing I can do to change my circumstances. But today was just so hard. I just had a panic attack and broke down because I truly hate my body. Not for how it looks, but because of what I have. I hate it, and I wish I can crawl out of it. I hate looking at myself and not even being able to see this life changing thing that feels like it has so much power over me. I hate never being able to live as carelessly and for always having to think about how this may affect others. I hate that people will always have to take a risk if they want to get close with me physically.

I don’t even think I’m capable of loving anymore truly, and I know it’s not only because of this but because of the lasting affects of my past relationship. Nonetheless, I just feel entirely helpless and incredibly angry. I’m so angry I let that person into my life for all the things they did to me on top of this. Now, I will forever live with the consequences of loving this individual who did so much damage to me. I just miss who I was before I met this person.

The person I gave hsv to got swabbed. That means he had another outbreak. He is talking to me like I’m a piece of shit and I’m not even calling him out on how cruel he’s being because I feel like i deserve it.

I think life is so unfair. I got this as a kid. I didn’t know about how it spread. I don’t get blisters. I hadn’t had sex in 17 years and the first time I do I give the guy fucking herpes.

I feel cursed. I feel unloveable. I feel disgusting. I’m having a hard time feeling like life has any meaning. Every thing feels pointless. I feel worthless

I don’t understand how we have so much stigma and so little education on something like this. If it’s so common why is it seen as so bad? If so many people have it and it’s so bad then why don’t we have a cure? I hate it here

Sorry to be another negative post. I don’t know who to vent to and I am in a dark place. I’m also at work and I have school work to do later and all I can think about is crawling into a hole to die

Diagnosed with GHSV1 3 years ago. I don’t think I’ve ever had another outbreak since the initial one but I’m not sure. What freaks me out is that I hear people saying that subsequent outbreaks can be nearly painless and unnoticeable. If that’s the case, how do I keep partners safe?

My initial outbreak was impossible to ignore. It looked like canker sores all over my vulva. Idk if it ever blistered or if it just went straight to ulcers. It looked nothing like the pics I see online

What do your outbreaks look like, especially those with GHSV1? Can you feel them coming? Do you feel them before you see them or do you have to check yourself down there constantly? What’s the first sign? How do you tell if it’s an outbreak or something else?

TYIA

Im in my first year of my diagnosis and I feel like I have a breakout every time to every other time I get period.

Please give me ALL advice and tips to prevent this.

I’ve been taking L Lysine. Has anyone ever gotten the Valacyclovir cream?

Hello,

I was diagnosed with HSV2 last year on my belt line. I had an outbreak a year prior to that but me and the doctor thought it was an ingrown hair. Granted, I did go after about a week because I thought something was wrong. Even when I got diagnosed, I went to 2 doctors and the first one thought it was an ingrown hair while I had an active outbreak. It's very mild symptoms compared to what I've read from others.

I've been reading through posts and watching videos I'm sure you've all seen. I've decided to get back into the dating scene, and I am on antivirals daily. I've met someone and we've been on 2 dates so far that have gone really well. The conversations are promising and I feel like I may finally disclose to someone that I have it.

We've talked about being intimate, but I'm not sure which route to go for disclosing. Some people say through text and some people say in person. I'm leaning more towards text so maybe their initial reaction won't hurt my feelings and it'll give them time to process, as well as there will be documentation.

I saw someone post on here to try a 21 question game and have one of the questions be would you ever date someone with HSV. To me, that seems to gimmicky and what if they say, "No", then I'm like oh, well I have it or just find another reason to end it.

I've seen people just ghost them because they were worried about the rejection and I can totally relate. If this person accepts me and is willing to be intimate then I'll be very happy or very sad if they say thank you but no thank you.

To me though, it's like why would someone risk it? Before I got it, I wouldn't have done that for someone else... maybe if I felt they were truly special, but I don't know how people can post it on their profiles. Me and this person have only been talking for a few weeks so maybe that's too soon? I know it's up to me, but I don't want to lead them on if it's a deal breaker.

Not sure where to turn to for advice because I haven't told anyone so I figured I'd ask the group for any guidance or personal stories about how to approach it.

Thank you

Hi Friends,

I just want to hear people's experiences on this one. Have you ever had a partner that you disclosed to after being intimate? How did the conversation go, what did you say, and how was their reaction?

(note that I am not endorsing this and understand that sometimes this can happen, we are human after all)

Open to hearing about it in the comments below or via dm- thanks!

I (30F) recently went in for an annual and a pap with my new PCP. During, she asked me if I wanted to do STD testing and, having just entered into a new relationship, I agreed to a full panel. Everything came back negative except for HSV 1 (IgG 4.9) and HSV 2 (IgG 1.3). Both of my parents have had cold sores my whole life and, even though I've never had an outbreak (orally or genitally), I thought HSV 1 could be possible. HSV 2 was a total shock to me. Again, no symptoms, always use condoms.

I immediately started to spiral, found this group and a few others and ordered my western blot with Terri. She noted that it was likely I had HSV 1 given my IgG of 4.9 and familial history but that it was a 85% chance of false positive with HSV2. My kit came a few days later, I had my blood drawn and spun locally and sent off. A little over a week later, Terri messaged and informed me that I am negative for both HSV1 and HSV 2 according to the western blot. She noted during our first appointment that my doctor should have never tested me for HSV without knowledge of exposure or symptoms and that that CDC recommends against.

It's pricy, but worth it in my opinion for the piece of mind.

I (28F) have oral HSV-1 and my boyfriend (30M) is asking for a blowjob. He says that if we use a condom, there’s no risk of transmission because the “critical area” is covered, and he’s also circumcised.

I’m okay with using a condom, but I’m worried about transmitting HSV-1 to areas not covered by the condom. From what I understand, skin-to-skin contact can still spread it.

He insists there’s no real risk, but I don’t want to make a mistake I’ll regret. Is it true that using a condom makes it safe for the oral stuff , or is there still a risk of transmission?

I recently got diagnosed with HSV-2 and promptly ghosted by the person I believe infected me. We met about over a month ago and started hooking up. We discussed prior test results but I never saw his. About a week after our first encounter, I experienced symptoms. I brought this up to him and he brushed everything off and I told him I was going to get tested anyway. It came back positive and as soon as I tried to ask him to come over to discuss my results in person, he has not responded for over two weeks. It sucks we were talking everyday and were in the middle of a conversation and he has not even read or listened to anything I’ve had to say. He doesn’t even know what the results are. I want to make sure he does get tested so this doesn’t affect anyone else the way it’s affecting me but I’m mostly internalizing a lot of blame of my self after the fact. Hindsight is 20/20 but if I’d had better self respect and standards I could’ve avoided this situation. Honestly all the positivity I’m seeing in the group (and from the nurses at the clinic) only makes me feel worse about this. I know there’s stigma but this fundamentally changes how I see myself and what I want in life. I’ve overcome a lot with mental health and suicidal ideation in the past and I feel like this has set me back years. I feel empty. It’s just been one thing after another in life and I can’t celebrate my wins or other people’s wins in life because I can’t see over this mountain. I feel nothing but anxiety when someone even approaches me or flirts with me. My ex from a couple years ago wants to see me again and I can’t even think about having that discussion. I don’t even feel the desire to ever have sex again.

My family can even tell I’m depressed but I don’t even know how to discuss it without feeling shame. I feel nauseous when I think about it. I can’t even wake up without feeling bad. I don’t think this is ever going to get better. All I can really think about my sulking is that worse things have happened to better people so feeling sorry for myself about this is really narcissistic. I’m just not okay. I have therapy in a couple weeks but I don’t know how that will help. I don’t want to get on meds. Most of what people say to make me feel better just feels like bullshit. All I can really do is distract myself but I feel hyper fixated on this. I really don’t do much other than cry. I’ve been going through the motions but everyone can tell something’s wrong with me and I’m terrified they’ll find out and feel differently towards me and not even in a judgmental way I don’t want to be pitied. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even focus at work.

Alright, this might be long and I apologize for being all over the place.

Early preteens I was assaulted by my sprm donor, he went and did oral on me. Once I finally spoke up my mom made the comment of I hope he doesn’t have herpes. Til this day that comment sticks with me.. probably unhealed trauma and blocked out memories. Even after that comment she never bothered to get me tested. During that time, my preteens I would get a single hard lump that would get smaller overtime once it was popped. Granted, I wasn’t shaving much and this was a stressful, hormonal time and I would sweat down there often.

Fast forward to my late teens (17/18) my high school bf, now ex fiance went down on me and days later I noticed he had a single pimple on his lip line that lasted only a couple days. Throughout our 9/10 year relationship I noticed it would come and go. Come to find out he said he use to get pimples on his lip line as a kid. He gets tested regularly (full physical every 3-6 months) and everything is negative. Expect this one time in 2020 when he said he had a small cut on the corner of his lip. They did a blood test and said it came back positive for cold sores. Since then all of his blood work has came back negative. His most recent was lapcorp roche test.

Now for me, my current test was by lapcorp roche and it came back non reactive, cool. What worries me is that after sex or sometimes after a poop my perineum sometimes has small paper cut tears that last a day or two. That and ingrown hairs here and there but no ulcers or anything, also here and leg quick nerve tingle but I think it may be due to cyst on my ovaries. Another thing that makes me wonder is that a new fling of mine recently had a single bump on his lip line that came up days after we did the do. I didn’t realize I had small bleeding (ovulation bleeding) before he went down. I promise my hygiene is top tier just a slip of the moment. I also haven’t talked to him much since then so that causes worry sn we both just got out of our engagements so things have been slow. He also gets tested regularly. I don’t want to unknowingly pass anything around, so I scheduled another test with quest today and next fissure that pops up will be swabbed.

Should I test roche igg results and let it go? Bit of a hypochondriac.. and no one has ever told me that I gave them hsv outside of my ex talking about a possible cold sore. But he hasn’t had any problems down south or any visible cold sores.

Sorry for the rant just don’t have anyone to talk to this about.

(F) I’ve had GHSV2 for a few years now. I was sexually active occasionally the first year or so of being diagnosed, a few different partners, one of them was recurrent the others were one offs, always wore protection. As far as I know I never transmitted in those cases. For the last couple years I decided to focus on myself because I want a good relationship and didn’t like hookups or situationships, but now I’m interested in seriously dating again. This whole time I haven’t been too bothered by OBs or symptoms because I wasn’t having sex so I would just manage things on my own, but I want to be as responsible as I can with a regular partner. I only took antivirals if I wanted to, and often wouldn’t take them at all. But my plan is to take antivirals daily to reduce transmission risk and wear condoms too.

Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in my head about general itchiness in the bathing suit area or if it’s prodromal. I’m sure there are tons of reasons I could feel irritated or itchy that aren’t necessarily viral shedding, but in my mind I feel like it’s prodromal since I have no way of knowing. I also get the little nerve sensations down the back of my thighs sometimes. Lately I’ve been extra stressed, sick, sleep deprived, and I’ve been talking to this guy for a few months I really like and we haven’t been intimate yet, just making out, cuddling, stuff like that, and I have already disclosed to him, but we haven’t had an in depth conversation yet about our plan and what we’re comfortable with yet, which I’m hoping comes soon.

My question is, if I notice that nerve sensation randomly at points or feel like maybe I’m slightly irritated or itchy down there, but I have no sores, does this mean I’m shedding the virus ? Do you guys avoid sex all together if you get any small symptom? Or do you rely on the meds and condoms to do their job and only avoid it when you’re most certain? I want to err on the side of caution but don’t want to be overly paranoid

Hi I’m 25(m) I’ve had a girlfriend for the past 2 years but beginning of march she said she wanted a break which only lasted 2 days before she came back but during that weekend I had hit up 2 females who I was talking to prior to my relationship but never had intercourse with one I’ll refer to as K I had intercourse with her on the 6th and the 18th the other female I’ll refer to as A I was with once on the 14th all times were unprotected btw on the 17th (yes the day before K the second time) I experienced a pain when peeing around a 2/10 but on the 19th it was a 10/10 which prompted me to contact both ppl immediately also telling my girlfriend because she could tell something’s up she broke up with me same night but when I called K it was very weird because she was very apologetic as if to say she done this to me whilst A showed me her recent Sti test assuring she hasn’t gotten or given me anything. After trying effortlessly of trying to get a test I finally get one on the 21st which I was also given doxycycline which is for Sti and after 2 days of use the pain had gone I was starting to put it behind me when on 25th K called me crying saying she may have herpes as because I told her to get tested she got tested that day saying the doc said it looks like herpes she says she first noticed the bump 2 days prior (4 days after I was with her) I’ve honestly not been the same since as if on Que to her telling me this a wave of other symptoms started to hit me 1st my scrotum was burning then over the next few days my legs buttocks and joints felt a nerve pain which lasted about 4 days from then onwards I’ve been experiencing a burning sensation between my scrotum and legs best way to describe it is like someone having a string and slowly moving it up and down where my scrotum meets legs I had that on and of for about 10 days as I’ve recent 2 days I still get that pain but toned down a bunch now it’s mainly itching on my scrotum and on my penis head. The girl K talks to me as if what happened never happened and when I ask about the test she took via swab she says she still hasn’t got results yet which is weird because it’s been about 10 days now. I’ve only told one person in my life and it’s my best friend I act calm about it secretly I’m really scared the test results for Sti came back negative for everything but they didn’t test herpes it’s been about 18 days since exposure now and I haven’t had any cold sores or blisters and my girlfriend has taken me back just asking that I get tested before being with her when I ask chat gpt it says my chances are low since no sores or blisters have appeared after 18 days and the fact when it hurt when peeing there were no sores visible but I’m worried I have a blood test in 4 days and will find out after that but I’m just asking for advice or men to let me know what symptoms they experienced. Thank you for reading I’ll be happy to answer any questions