I’m spiraling again
The person I gave hsv to got swabbed. That means he had another outbreak. He is talking to me like I’m a piece of shit and I’m not even calling him out on how cruel he’s being because I feel like i deserve it.
I think life is so unfair. I got this as a kid. I didn’t know about how it spread. I don’t get blisters. I hadn’t had sex in 17 years and the first time I do I give the guy fucking herpes.
I feel cursed. I feel unloveable. I feel disgusting. I’m having a hard time feeling like life has any meaning. Every thing feels pointless. I feel worthless
I don’t understand how we have so much stigma and so little education on something like this. If it’s so common why is it seen as so bad? If so many people have it and it’s so bad then why don’t we have a cure? I hate it here
Sorry to be another negative post. I don’t know who to vent to and I am in a dark place. I’m also at work and I have school work to do later and all I can think about is crawling into a hole to die