AITA for cutting off my stepmother after my dad passed away?

I (41F) lost my dad about a month ago. It was not sudden, he fought cancer for almost two years, but honestly I’m still not over it. We never close, she would never allow us to have a relationship with him.

My stepmother (60F) has been in my life since I was 2. We were never close. She was extremely ab*****e. Emotionally, mentally, and physically. By the time I left home at 16 I had been through 11 broken bones.

After he passed, things got… weird. She started being nice.. sickly so. Then her true colors appeared all over again..... She started going through his belongings and either sold, donated, or threw away things without asking me or any of my siblings.

When I tried to talk to her about it, she told me that she was his wife and that everything belonged to her now, and that we needed to “move on.” That really hurt.

On top of that, she started making comments about how he never loved us and only THEIR kids mattered.

The final straw was when she told me I should stop referring to it as “my dad’s house” because “he’s gone, and it’s hers now.”

After that, I stopped reaching out. I blocked her a few days ago because every interaction just made me feel worse.

Some extended family members think I’m being too harsh and that she’s grieving too, and that I should try to repair the relationship because "life is just too short.." But I feel like she crossed too many lines and disrespected both me and my dad’s memory.

So… AITA for cutting her off?

Hello Potatoes, I’d love some advice.

My best friend ( let’s call her Sabrina) and I have been super close for nearly a decade. We met each other pre husbands and children and have always been very straight forward with one another. If ever we had any issues, we have felt very comfortable approaching one another about it. Even super touchy subjects.

Now that we are mothers, I’m finding it extremely challenging approaching her about some extremely lazy and harmful parenting styles.

For more context:

We had our first babies only 7 months apart. In the beginning stages, we would ask each other questions and support one another to get through postpartum/newborn life.

Fast forward to today, our daughters are 3 and I have a second child who is 1. Sabrina and her husband do not want any more children. They even went as far as having him get a vasectomy. They planned to raise and dote upon their lovely daughter and give her the world.

Now here’s my issue. Sabrina has been coddled her whole life. Her parents never made her work for anything and her husband does everything for her. She doesn’t cook, clean, work, or really do much else besides her hobbies. Her and her husband still take couples trips and leave their daughter at home with family. Some times they will be gone for weeks. They won’t even take her on small weekend road trips. They just leave her.

For regular daily life, Sabrina won’t take her daughter anywhere. No social time with other kids, no town trips for errands, no days at the park. She set up a play room in another part of the house, and she just puts her in there and leaves her alone all day to play. Nothing but her toys and the tv going. Sabrina watches her through a camera and goes on about her day. When it’s time for a nap, she will lay her down for multiple hours even if the little girl doesn’t sleep. She then puts her down for bed at 6:30pm and won’t get her out of bed until 10 or 11 the next morning. Another big issue is that Sabrina found potty training to be too difficult so she doesn’t even try. She keeps her in diapers and says she waiting for her daughter to decide potty train. Lately the little girl has been acting up and stressing out Sabrina so she will just drop her off with family. Sometimes she will even show up and drop her off at my house so she can have a “break”. Meanwhile, I also have a three year old and a one year old to take care of.

Sabrina will call me nearly every day to vent about parenting and how hard it is and it’s all I can do to not shake her shoulders. She gets annoyed at her daughter that she’s not potty trained. I tell her that she , as the mom, has to start the potty training process. She usually responds with “I don’t want to push her too hard”. Or “I don’t want to clean up if she pees on the floor”.

Lately, her daughter has been acting out by kicking, hitting, biting, and screaming at Sabrina and her husband. Sabrina is completely dumbfounded on why her behavior is the way it is. To me it’s obvious that the poor baby is starved for attention. Parenting is hard and I know it’s not good to compare but I don’t understand how she can’t see what’s going on.

I am a full time mom myself with both kids all day every day, while my husband works. I cook, clean, landscape, garden, take my kids to social events, etc. it’s exhausting and daunting at times but you just do it.

Sorry for the venting. But what do you guys think? Should I approach her about it? And how could I word it so I don’t come across snooty or condescending? I love Sabrina I just don’t know how I can remain friends with someone who cares so little about her baby girl. Her daughter is one of the smartest and sweetest little kids I’ve ever known and she deserves so much better.

I 29F have been besties w my friend Cyn 28F for about 15 years. Super close we did everything together. Love all the same things like concerts, festivals, hiking n so on. She’s been on and off w this pos for years. Abusive, manipulative, aggressive etc. I had her back no matter how draining it was & boy was it exhausting. They broke up, he got together with this girl we’ll call her Ann. Ann is pregnant now. I’m like perfect she can finally stay away & move on properly. NOPE LOL. She stopped sharing her location w me one day and I was like oh that’s sus & she played it off whatever. I worked w a mutual friend who loves gossip & told me she went to electric Forrest musical festival w him (September) & I LOST IT. Told the group not to say anything to me & basically avoided me. I’m all for chopping it up and hashing shit out so we did. Now October is here & we’re shopping for our Halloween photo shoot & she’s being weird tailing me & texting I immediately knew she was chatting w him & I’m like “dude what are you doing he’s got a pregnant gf at home” like wtf she told me she can’t help that she loves him she’s not giving up & I just could not respect it at all. I was pulling away from her atp. We do our photoshoot & like a week later she’s messages me “you’re gonna hate me” sent me a pregnancy test picture & I was gasted in my flabbers. Ironically I was having sympathy symptoms & thought I was pregnant, I wasn’t thankfully. I STILL did my best to be there even tho I was so against this. He begged her to get an abortion even tho they planned this baby. Tracked her period & everything, now he wants to back out of his responsibilities. She confessed how scared she was he would try and take the baby blah blah all that bs & I’m giving her advice & comforting her that I’m here to help. By December it was done. I admit I was kind of cold to her I couldn’t respect her or look at her the same after doing this especially to this innocent girl Ann. She was adamant about herself & the choices she made justifying it that she loved him & deserved to try for the family she always wanted. We were done, had a huge fight & had each other blocked so she went through her pregnancy without me. AITA for not standing by her???

I (30F) let one of my closest friends (30F) move into my home last year after a breakup. We’ve known each other since school and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding.

She moved in a few months before the wedding, and despite everything going on, we fully opened our home to her. This meant adjusting our space and routine to accommodate her three dogs and two snakes.

What was meant to be temporary turned into over a year.

Within the first couple of months, things became difficult. Cleanliness was a constant issue, she rarely helped with household chores, and dog hair built up to the point it was being trodden through shared spaces.

She worked late shifts and often came home after midnight, which would set the dogs barking and wake us. For the first 5–6 months, she was also frequently late on rent, which built up to over £1200 owed at one point. I had to cover bills from my own savings, especially as utilities increased significantly due to her snake equipment running constantly.

The house began to smell strongly of dog, particularly near the entrance, and I felt uncomfortable having people over.

Eventually, I had to explicitly ask her to clean, which only happened once.

Recently, we told her we planned to move and wanted to start our next chapter as a married couple. She agreed to move out, with a deadline of May.

However, after going on holiday, she barely stayed at the house but also didn’t move her belongings out. The room remained unusable, and we were left unsure whether she was still living there.

When everything was finally cleared, I was shocked by the condition:

•	Mould had returned (it had been treated before she moved in)

•	Yellow staining on furniture and doors

•	Scratches to doors and baseboards

•	A bedside table I lent her was damaged

•	A bookcase left unsellable

•	General dirt and dog hair throughout

She did come back with her mum and sister to clean a few times, but it still wasn’t restored. The mould had stained into the paint, and some damage couldn’t be fixed with basic cleaning.

I explained I would need to repair, repaint, and treat the room properly. She offered to do it herself, but I declined as I wanted it done consistently with the rest of the house.

I calculated the cost of repairs and also charged rent until the room was fully emptied, as we couldn’t use the space while her belongings were still there.

She argued she shouldn’t pay rent as she “wasn’t staying there,” but I explained rent is for the room, not physical presence.

She did eventually pay, but most of it was in £1 coins and 50ps, delivered by her mum and sister, despite clearly having access to notes.

What hurts most is she hasn’t said thank you or spoken to me since. I’m giving her space and plan to reach out, as the friendship means a lot to me.

After everything, giving her a home, adjusting our lives, and supporting her, I feel used. I don’t think I’ve been unfair, but I’m left feeling sad and conflicted.

AITA?”

I don’t know how to move on , I guess. For context, I’m(22f) currently going through a divorce with an 8 month old and while I’m ready to be done with all of this, the other party is dragging his feet to prolong this for the both of us and it’s been almost a whole year of the divorce process and about a year and a half of separation and I wanna start dating again, at least I think I do, but I don’t know where to start and I don’t know how to talk to people because only ever REALLY been with one person and it’s completely uncharted territory. Recently I decided, hey, why not check out this Facebook dating thing and I matched with a decent guy around 30ish I think and he was nice and friendly and I realized, I have no idea what genuine kindness or “interest” looks like, all I know is, I guess, disrespect and white lies, that kinda thing, and if you combine that with my lack of confidence in communicating and being present in conversations instead of reading into everything, that match went terribly and well, we unmatched. I just don’t know how to improve and I genuinely don’t “clock” genuine interest and I want to be able to. I’m also in therapy/counseling to help me process the neglect and overall terrible treatment that my, hopefully, soon-to-be ex-husband has done to me and I’m just ready to move forward and try to, I guess, expand my life to more than just being a hermit crab, so that I can teach my daughter how to move on from crappy relationships and be a good and healthy role model for her. Any advice?

you all were right . I should have left sooner but now I'm making the right decision and leaving for good.

I thought we were ok and doing good when just two days ago I found out that he had been cheating on me again since January. I had a bad feeling prayed that if he was doing wrong God would show me the truth and my prayer was answered.

my kids and I have been at his house for the April break. Monday night I prayed and that same night he got so drunk I was able to get into his phone with his thumb print and found that he had been cheating on me through Snapchat from January to the most recent message being 12:30 that night. he was texting her obscene things while I was sleeping with my head in his lap.

it gets worse I sent some of the screenshots to his father and he started spilling all the tea on this woman. apparently her mother is a family friend of his fathers and her mom's a pastor. not only that but she's married. to a navy officer.

I've been trying to find this man to let him know what's going on but they both have their socials on lockdown so I'm hoping the good people on here will help me find him. her first initial is k last name Arnold and they are from Virginia. please help me get the truth to this man .

Lets start with saying during this time I was 20F and my friend well call her “Kelly” she was 26F. We became good friends while working in childcare together, this was my first legitimate job, my MIL was the director at the time, so a lot of people in the building seen “favoritism”. I didn’t think so just cause I really didn’t like working with my MIL, because she expected so much from me. Anyways, me and Kelly ended up getting SUPER close while working together. There was three different people in our classroom (which meant 3 different schedules) Kelly’s schedule was the earliest she had to be at work right at 7am, my shift I came in by 7:45, and the last girl came in around 12 i think 🤔 can’t remember this was 2019. I lived the furthest from the daycare my drive was about 35-40min depending on traffic. Kelly lived 8min away and I’m not sure about the 3rd teacher (we weren’t close at all) but Kellys lunch break was 30min, i had the split shift so I had a 2.5hr break, we decided like hey you live further so why not switch our schedules every week. So one week I’d get off at 3 and the next she’d get off at 3. We were a center that had volunteers come in — these girls couldn’t be left in the classrooms alone due to disabilities such as being deaf, blind, etc. but to give them the opportunity to learn. I loved the inclusion, but Kelly— did NOT! I was on the early shift. Not to mention I wake up a little earlier during the week I had that shift and would get to the center about 15min early just so I wasn’t late. Kelly was the classroom trainer, and she had the 2nd shift, which meant she’d be there till 5:45-- and had to train one of the volunteer girls. Well… she came in and MIL let her know like hey we have the volunteers here today, we need you to show her this this and this. Let’s just say she was NOT happy about this, she came in the classroom and I could feel her vibe a mile away. She asked me if we could trade shifts, and I was like mmm… absolutely not i dont think the office would like that either because I’d be going over my hours for the day. She WALKED OUT OF THE ROOM. If you know daycares then you know that we have a teacher to child ratio and the volunteer was not eligibile to be considered in that ratio. So she quit. I was like okay… well maybe she’ll cool off. I had introduced her to my fiancés best friend a while before this incident, but she said she wasn’t really interested in him. At The Time I guess. We ended up going to my fiancés friends house and low and behold.. guess who moved in with him. Yeah you guessed it Kelly. We all hung out she didn’t say much to me besides I was a sh** friend for not quitting with her. I brushed it off but as soon as I left she told my fiances friend that she didn’t mind my fiancé coming over but she wanted no part of me and didn’t want me there. Chill cool okay. My fiancé goes to hang out with them and when we did Hang out she told me a story of her changing a boys number to her cousins name and her Ex had no idea about it… she told my fiancé that story but said that I was doing that to him.. I was like mmm okay, my fiancé was like idk she seems controlling, well my fiancés friend ended up kicking her out because she used all his savings for new furniture and stuff so she ended up moving back to Louisiana. I went to look at her FB just cause I thought about her a lot and wanted to see how she was doing… I saw “In Remembrance of ..” I felt so bad about the outcome of our friendship and to not get closure or for us to come back together hit me hard… I feel like the AH for how our friendship went… Am I? (Sorry for the super long post)