u/Delicious-Tap-2388

he told me he didn’t want a relationship. ghosted me. and now he’s committed to someone else and they planned a trip out of the country within a few weeks of talking to eachother…. this girl also got out of a 2 year relationship a few months ago. now they’re with each other everyday. i just feel broken. and the thing to make it even worse is in the last week of us talking i literally mentioned going to this place with him. and now he’s actually going with her. they’ve been seeing either for a month maybe a little more at this point. i just can’t believe it

i decided to deactivate my instagram. after 2 years he ghosted me after telling me he wanted to be alone and didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. he avoided me, never wanted to see me or meet me and knew he was hurting me but kept doing it.

within a few weeks of ghosting me he immediately committed to someone else. i know her from school so id already been following her and to kinda make it even worse me and her are somehow related. she got out of a relationship like 3 months ago i think. now she’s posting the flowers he got her, the dates their on, activities they’re doing that i asked him to do with me and things he said we could do together when we first started talking. she likes all these reels about marriage and getting proposed to. i think they might be traveling out of the country together soon. posting notes about how she’s appreciated without asking and she’s finally getting the love she deserves. it just breaks me. because he hurt me so much but now he’s giving her everything i wanted. and i don’t understand how they’re that serious within a month? he sleeps at her house like every night, she’s liking things about marriage, are they traveling out of the country?? like i’m just broken and i couldn’t stand to see it anymore.

sorry this is going to be really long. i don’t have any friends so i don’t have anyone to talk to about how im feeling or what im going through.

i’ve been having a really hard time lately. my anxiety and depression has been so bad after basically being thrown away by someone who i talked to everyday for the past 2 years. he ghosted me, removed me from social media and is now committed to someone else. i’m having a really hard time processing and understanding it all. but i guess the hard truth is that he never cared about me or liked me and he just used me until he found someone he wanted.

today i was just thinking back and im coming to the realization that ive kinda just been sad my whole life. i’ve always gotten my hopes up. i had a best friend through elementary school and into middle school then we stopped being friends over something so stupid obviously cause it was in middle school. after that i never really had a best friend again. i never really got super close with people. i’d talk to people in class and stuff but never really hung out with people outside of school. at 15 i got my first boyfriend. he was my best friend, the only person who truly understood me, never judged me, etc. well my first job was kinda in a toxic environment, i let someone get in my head and convince me that my relationship wasn’t good and that i deserved better just because he wasn’t happy in his relationship. so he convinced me to break up with my boyfriend so he could breakup with his girlfriend. i genuinely felt like i was being controlled because i knew in the moment it wasn’t something i wanted to do. i was with that person for about 2 years and he ended up doing the same thing to me and left me for someone else. i was heartbroken but that was my karma and i knew i deserved it in a way so i got over it. a year after that breakup i started talking to someone else, i tried to set boundaries because i knew i wasn’t ready for anything serious but he pushed me and we ended up getting into a relationship that just turned toxic and i felt so uncomfortable around him. well that only lasted about 6 months and we broke up. i was alone and didn’t really talk to anyone for a year after that. then in january 2024 i started talking to someone, he came on really strong (always flirting, saying things we can do together, etc) but im very shy so hanging out after only a couple conversations is too soon for me. we never ended up meeting but we kept talking for 2 years. i always asked if we could do things together and meet but he always kinda brushed it off. we stopped talking a few times but he’d always come back. he knew it hurt me. but he did it anyways. and i’m stupid for letting him. but that was me getting my hopes up every time thinking maybe this time it’ll be better. but nope. in march he ghosted me. in april he removed me from all social media. and i find out that he’s committed to someone else, taking her on dates, doing things i asked him to do with me, sleeping at her house, etc. absolutely devastated. and im coming to realize that nothing has really ever worked out for me. i’ve always gotten my hopes up. in relationships and friendships. there was so many times in college where i thought maybe id end up getting close with some girl friends but it was never that. im 27 now and at this point i just feel so defeated in life.

i know this is really long. so if you got to this point, thanks for reading.

i’m honestly just so upset right now. for the past 2 years i let myself get my hopes up. a guy started talking to me and he came on strong always complimenting me, saying all these things we could do together, etc. i’m really shy so i kinda brushed off the first time when he asked me when he could take me out. we never got the chance to meet because eventually he told me he wasn’t looking for a relationship. when he told me this i said i would leave him alone because i didn’t realize he didn’t feel the same as me. but he kept talking to me. there were a couple times after that i tried to say bye cause it was hurting me. there were also times we actually stopped talking but then he’d come back. i tried to meet him multiple times. i also told him that he can just tell me the truth. if he didn’t like me etc. whatever it was. he knew it was hurting me. but he told me that he did like me, it wasn’t me, he was healing, etc. eventually he started telling me he liked being alone, relationships were a prison, etc. then he ghosted me and within a couple weeks was fully committed to someone else.

why couldn’t he just be honest and leave me alone? i know it’s also my fault for staying but why lie to someone? then he would say he didn’t want to hurt me and at the end he said he didn’t want to lead me on like genuinely what did you think you were doing for the past 2 years??? why didn’t you just leave me alone, i was never rejecting him. i just said if you don’t feel the same i’ll leave you alone but it seems he took that as an attack because apparently i was being dramatic and petty after being confused why he kept talking to me after i said i’d leave him alone. idk why i always give in and give so many chances to people who never cared about me.

I remember a few years ago, the day my ex broke up with me I could just sense something was wrong and something bad was going to happen. that night he broke up with me.

in december/january i just had a feeling that this year was going to be the year that the person who i’ve been talking to for the last 2 years was going to not be in my life anymore. and here i am, broken because he ghosted me, removed me from all social media, and is now committed to someone else after he would never commit to me. i hate that i kept getting my hopes up but i really liked him and never wanted to give up on him. but it’s just weird how i had that feeling.

has anyone else been able to sense when a breakup or something was going to happen? being able to sense it doesn’t make it any easier either. at least for me. i think when i sense it i ignore it because i don’t want it to be true.

how do people move on? it’s like once i like someone then that is the only person i find attractive, the only person i want and have interest in. he chose someone else over me. and idk how to move on. it’s hurts because i know in my head that it will never be him after he chose another girl over me but at the same time he was my favorite person and the only person i had any interest in. yeah there’s other people who are attractive but i can’t look at them that way. it’s like he will just top everyone else. in looks, personality, comfort. it’s just so hard for me to have to accept that it’ll never be him and somehow or hopefully there’s someone out there who will be mine. i’m 27 years old and im just starting to lose hope. i spent 2 years of my life on him. i’ve always wanted to get married and be a mom young but im just getting older and nothing is working out for me.

i’m so sick of getting my heart broken. i’m so sick of giving my heart and always be there for men just for them to say they need to focus on themselves just to immediately be in a relationship with someone else while i’m left to pick up all the pieces. no closure, no goodbye, no explanation. ghosted removed and moved on like i never existed. it literally feels like i just got thrown in the trash. string me along for 2 years but now you’re ready for commitment with someone else?

i’m 27F and not really sure what i want to do in life. i was thinking of joining an apprenticeship to become an electrician but not sure entirely what it entails? thoughts?

would work life balance be good? what type of jobs are in the area? are there females in the field? do you think it’s something i’d be able to do? i’m kinda small 5’1” obviously don’t have the strength of a man not sure how physically demanding this job is

i’m having a really hard time after being ghosted after talking everyday for 2 years. i keep overthinking every conversation even ones from when we first started talking. every conversation replaying in my head trying to figure out what i might’ve said wrong. overthinking everything i’ve ever posted on social media. he told me he didn’t want a relationship and that he wanted to be alone. but he ghosted me just to be committed to someone else within a few weeks. he avoided me and didn’t want to meet me yet he strung me along and decided to tell me towards the end that he didn’t want to lead me on… like what do you think you’ve been doing for the past 2 years?? why keep coming back just to keep leaving. i’m broken and confused and it’s really starting to make me question everything about myself and i’m blaming myself and second guessing everything even though i truly only wanted him and didn’t talk to anyone else but him. i know i had good intentions but being discarded like this is making me second guess myself wondering if i did something wrong to make him think otherwise.

I’m a shy person. If i’ve never previously met you in person or know you from my past it takes me a while to feel comfortable meeting up. and it seems like people want to meet within the first week or 2 of talking and that’s just too soon for me. I feel like I need at least a month. I ended up getting stuck talking to someone for 2 years that I never met who I am now heartbroken over and he is with someone else.

When he first started talking to me he asked when he could take me out but that was like within the first week or 2 of talking and I was just too nervous. Eventually, I felt ready but was still nervous to ask him so I was hoping he would ask me again but he didn’t. eventually he told me he didn’t want a relationship which completely caught me off guard because he mentioned a lot of things we could do together, he was always complimenting me, getting to know me etc. then it’s like overnight it just changed. but for some reason we didn’t stop talking. then I started asking him if we could hangout, do things together, if I could meet him and he never would. He said he didn’t want to meet me cause he knew I wanted a relationship and he didn’t. but now he’s in a relationship with someone after ghosting me and he was with her within a couple weeks. now i’m overthinking everything, trying to figure out what I did or said wrong and if I had just met him the first time he asked if we could’ve been together right now after 2 years of talking. we talked all the time and talked as more than friends and would send pictures to each other. so it really just messed with my head, i became really attached to him and felt like we were in a relationship even though I knew we weren’t. It was killing me not being able to meet him but I didn’t want to stop talking to him and now i’m really struggling with accepting the fact that he threw me away to be immediately be with someone else after he was so adamant on wanting to be alone and not be with anyone in general

i’m broken right now. after 2 years he ghosted me and removed me from everything. he always avoided me, pushed me away, he never could just tell me the truth. now he’s committed to someone else, doing all the things i asked him to do with me. why does he get to be happy with her? why does she get to experience it all with him? while i’m shattered. ghosted me just to be committed to someone else within a few weeks. she’s always posting how great he is, liking things about marriage. like after a month?? but 2 years of me meant nothing to him?? i just want to disappear. i can’t take any more pain

he said he didn’t want a relationship. that he was healing and it gave him anxiety thinking about being in a relationship. he told me over and over again it wasn’t me. it was him. it had nothing to do with me. and he kept talking to me so i believed him. i thought with time things would get better. that he’d want to meet me. he kept telling me he liked being alone. he liked the freedom. he was all set on love and relationships. then he ghosted me and now he’s committed to someone else.

why did he keep telling me that for 2 years? he knew how i felt so why didn’t he just leave me alone? i feel so stupid. my heart is crushed. and i’m starting to think i did something wrong because why did he keep saying that to me for 2 years just to ghost me and commit to someone within a few weeks. i’m broken. i have such bad anxiety. i want to disappear

it crushes my heart to know he’s with someone else. he basically threw me away, i didn’t even get to say goodbye. he just stopped answering me and then removed me from everything and now he’s seeing someone else. doing things that i asked him to do with me. i don’t understand and idk how to stop blaming myself, overthinking everything i said trying to figure out what went wrong. all i did was show him how much i cared, how much i wanted to see him and spend time with him. I asked him to do so many things and he would brush it off and avoid me then I see that he’s doing things with her that i asked him to do. i have such bad anxiety. i don’t want to leave my house. i don’t ever want to go out and see them together. and he lives close to me so no matter what, i see his driveway when i leave my house. and i don’t want to see her car there or that his car is gone. how do i stop caring. he was everything i wanted, he was perfect but idek why i feel that way because he was mean to me, he lied to me. he said he wanted to be alone and didn’t want to be with anyone ever again, yet he threw me away to immediately be with someone else. and she’s posting all these things acting like they love each other and how he appreciates her without asking and he got her flowers, taking her to dinner and doing activities that i asked him to do. 💔 he stopped following other girls, he stopped liking other girls posts. like why wasn’t i worth changing for but she is?

i’m broken. i can’t take it anymore. i don’t know why everyone always leaves me for another girl. i love with my whole heart. but i’m just never good enough and i don’t know why. it’s like i’m just a place holder until he finds the girl he wants. told me lies for 2 years just to turn around and start dating someone else. i feel so empty.

is something wrong with me for being heartbroken over someone who i talked to everyday for 2 years and talked to as more than a friend, sharing pictures but never really met. he lives a couple minutes away from me and we went to high school together but never formally met, just in passing. i really liked him so much and genuinely cared about him. he told me he wasnt ready for a relationship, ghosted me, removed me from social media and now he is dating someone else and doing things with her that i asked him to do with me

he lied to me, ghosted me, then immediately turned around to date someone else. doing all the things i wanted to do with him with her. he’s buying her flowers, taking her out and doing the things i asked to do with him. why does he get to be happy and love her and all i get is heart broken. i can’t take it anymore. it isn’t fair.

this is going to be really long so hopefully someone takes the time to read it because I’m just having such a hard time and i’m shutting down but nobody in my life even knows any of this has happened and i don’t have anyone to talk to.

2024:
I started talking to someone in january 2024. within the first couple weeks he was asking to take me out but im really shy and I had never met him before so I was too nervous to meet with him that soon. we kept talking all day everyday, he mentioned all these things we could do together. he was sweet, asked me questions, etc. as time went on probably by a month or 2 i wanted to meet him and felt comfortable but I was kinda nervous to ask and I figured he would ask again. he never did. now we’re in april 2024 and he hadnt really talked to me the past couple days so I brought it up and that’s when he decided to tell me that he didn’t want a relationship and never meant for it to seem that way. so I told him I would leave him alone if that was the case because that wasn’t the vibe I got. he kinda just brushed that off and didn’t really say anything so i just stopped answering. the next day he messaged me and i genuinely thought it was an accident. then he was asking me why we couldn’t be friends and that he just had a lot going on and he loved someone and she did him wrong so he was healing etc. i genuinely did like him and liked talking to him and so i kept talking to him. we continued talking for the whole year but i really started to like him a lot. i would ask him to do stuff but he would always kinda brush it off. in september i brought something up and he assured me he liked me but he just didn’t want a relationship. in november 2024 i told him how i really felt, that i liked him and stuff but it was also kinda a goodbye because he was ignoring me that day. he told me he didn’t want a relationship and he was sorry that we met at that time in his life. we stopped talking. he ended up messaging me in december 2024 and i was kinda hesitant and not as open as i was before and i told him how i felt again. that i liked him, i didn’t talk to people the way i talked to him and he knew it made me sad. but he kept pushing and telling me what i wanted to hear so i gave in.

2025:
we never stopped talking from when he messaged me again in december. we talked everyday throughout the day but there would be times where it was hours between responses or some days they would be fast. I always kinda told him how i felt, that i wanted to meet him that i thought he was cute and would occasionally ask if we could hangout but i wouldn’t ask super often. but he knew how i felt about him, he knew i wanted to meet him. he knew id want a relationship etc. in october 2025, i saw something he liked on social media indicating that he only wanted to have sex with people and no relationship. so it made me really upset, i didn’t bring up that i saw he liked it but i just wanted the truth. so i asked him why he talked to me and stuff. he kinda just ignored my question. then he told me that it wasn’t me and that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and it gave him anxiety thinking about it and it scared him. so i ended up feeling bad for pushing it because idk what happened in his past relationships. also, he went through some hard things in his past losing a parent so i was really gentle and tried to be understanding with everything he did and said to me because i genuinely couldn’t imagine how his days felt having to go through that. but anyways in october we were going to stop talking to each other. he said he hoped i found the love i deserve and that it was better for both of us if we didn’t talk. i was broken but we stopped talking. the next day he saw me in the store (didn’t come up to me or anything, i didn’t even see him) but he ended up messaging me and telling me he saw me and we kept talking for the weekend then he was going to stop talking to me again but we kept talking. through the end of the year

2026:
we talked for almost the whole month of january. in like the last week he ended up telling me that he thought we shouldn’t talk anymore. i was obviously sad. but we stopped talking. but then a week would go by, he’d message me we talk for a week. then he’d disappear. and it would repeat that same cycle through to march. in march he just stopped answering me. he ghosted me. in april he removed me from all social media. and now he’s dating someone. buying her flowers, taking her on dates, staying at her house. i’m absolutely broken. i know the whole situation was a red flag, i should’ve stood my ground and left him alone the first time in 2024. but i genuinely cared about him so much, i really liked him. i wanted to meet him. and for 2 years he’d flirt with me, we’d send each other pictures, as more than friends. he’d assure me that it wasn’t me. he told me he knows i have a good heart but he doesn’t. he didn’t want a relationship with anyone. i always gave him space to tell me the truth, i told him if he didn’t like me he could just tell me. but he ghosted me without a word and now im left here to see that he’s dating someone else. and im just so confused and sad.

if you read this far, please don’t leave any harsh comments saying he just didn’t like me, i should’ve left, etc. because i already know that but unfortunately those things are easier said than done. i don’t let a lot of people into my life so when i do and i care, i care and love with my whole heart and fight for the people i want to stay. i don’t give up on them. it just breaks me to see him with her. what’s so much better about her? how could he talk to me for that long and genuinely not feel an ounce of care for me and just immediately be in love with someone else. i really just need a hug. i feel so alone in life in general and now im just lost.

edit: also want to add. this isn’t the first time someone has left me for someone else. i was a 2 year relationship that ended in 2022 with someone who broke up with me to see someone else. and it’s just the worst feeling in the world. to share life with someone just to be replaced with someone else. i’m 27 now and all i’ve ever wanted in life was to be a mom and be married and i can’t take this pain again. at this point i don’t want to talk to anyone ever again.

i hate it. everyday i wake up and i feel sick. my heart is beating out of my chest, i can feel in through my whole body. as soon as i wake up, i have to face reality that he left me for someone else. i didn’t deserve it. it isn’t fair. i can barely get through my day and he gets to hurt me and be happy with someone else? it isn’t fair. i can’t take it anymore. idk what to do.