u/BackgroundMention969

This is going to be quite a long post since I will be talking about my experiences about my way of life and my way of processing new information and concepts. I am in the US, 23M.

I was always quite different, said my teacher from the first grade, and in her opinion not in a good way. Other kids noticed that I was different too, so I kept to myself most of the time. At a very young age, I was processing information a lot differently as opposed to others. I didn't quite "get it", especially when we were learning about basic world concepts.

For my first two grades, I didn't have a hard time in school since things were mostly easy. That changed in the third grade when grades started. When my mother was talking to my then teacher about me and how I am doing in school, she said something that my mother had been thinking about a long time but just couldn't put it into words. She said that my brains worked differently than of all other students. I wasn't really quick at understanding concepts like the other students, but when I finally after a long time understood it, I understood it better than anyone else.

Moving on, as you might imagine, I had quite a lot of trouble during my school years. I wasn't able to hold on to new knowledge easily and spent a lot of my days studying in my room, just trying to understand what was taught in the class. The school system wasn't designed for me and my way of thinking and there were too many exams. Don't worry, my grades were good and nobody said that I was having trouble in school, but I was working more than all the others.

That lasted for about ten years until I got out of school. Every day after school, I would come home and study everything that others already understood. Whenever the teacher asked something during the class, I never knew what to answer. And that wasn't just in school ,but also in other activities. I was slow to pick up the rules of a sport or a card game, or in any case, any social activity game.

I got called retarded and stupid many times and some teachers even said that I might have a learning or personal desiability. I just couldn't grasp concepts as quickly as others could. In higher grades, when I had to study more, I was struggling a lot since I had to learn everything about what we talked in class and than other subjects which were going to be on the test.

And here is the thing I noticed by remembering what that teacher said all those years ago. I am slow to pick up things, but once I understand them, I do them and excell at them better than anyone else.

I was just sitting in my room, thinking about all of this. And here is what I noticed. Let's say that the subject in the math class was multiplication (I also needed a long time to understand that). Everyone of course picks up on it easily, except me. So, as usual, I get home and start studying. I don't even look at the title, I instantly look for small details. Let's say specific numbers or the multiplication sign, but never understanding what am I am even learning, just picking up those small little precious details. And weeks pass, everyone knows how to multiply, except me, I only know those details, which I learn every day. And one day, my brain starts something. I don't have control when it happens or why. It starts connecting those details, one by one, they all fall into their rightful place inside my brain. And after that, finally, the whole picture starts to make sense. I understand. And the wave of excitement I feel at that moment is immeasurable, I cherisch the moment. And suddenly, I can multiply better than the whole class. I can do hard exercises better than anyone else.

And this is what that teacher meant. I don't initally see the whole picture, I just look at the details of the subject. After a thousand of these details start connecting, I get the whole picture and that is why I understand it is well. Details + whole picture, while others first understand the whole picture and than the details.

I wish that I could say this is a good thing. And it may be a good thing, but I just haven't noticed it yet.

My first 20 years of my life were really hard because of this. I was a lot different. I didn't know anybody else who saw the world the same way as me. I was isolated most of the time in the books. I think because of the fact that I sometimes understood concepts better than anyone else, other kids got jealous of me. I was bullied for almost ten years. I wish I had a group with like-minded individualy.

I am thankfully out of school now, but things are not that much better. While you are reading this, you might ask yourself, how I am even functioning in the world? Answer? Not great, because it isn't built for me, it is built for the majority, which is a good thing. I have had 30 driving lessons with my isntructor and he has said that I am one of the worst candidates he has ever had and make mistakes that he has seen nobody ever do before. Because I am only picking up the details. But I think that eventually, with time, I will gather enough of these details to maybe become a better driver than most.

The same goes for maps, orientation and public transport . I got lost all the time and my parents were thinking I am insane, but after a while, my orientation and my understanding of public transport is so good that I am pretty much the guide now in major cities.

As you might imagine, the job search is brutal. I got fired about four times just in one summer when I tried to have a summer job, even from Mcdonald's. And believe me, I tried my best. Due to my learning differences, I was once again really slow at doing the job, even while in training because I wasn't getting the whole concept, only those details. I got told that I was incompetent and stupid, that hurt a lot. And I kept seeing others who could drive and have work experience on their resumes, while I couldn't.

For example, if you were watching me in the store trying to grab an item, I would move so weird that you would think I was an autistic robot with bad pathfinding abilities. I would see a product, go to that product, grab it, go to the other side of the store, grab another product, forget where you are and go back to the entrance of the store.

I am trying to better myself really day, but I think to properly function in the world, I have to change my way of thinking, at least to get some sort of balance. So first: understand the whole concept, and then pick up the details. I have been going to galleries lately and I try to literally see the whole painting instead of the details of the painting.

I am trying really hard. I pretty much have no friends here now, except for those from my home town, i think that people dislike me because I am so different. I try to mask it, but it often times doesn't work. I am trying my hardest. I just wish I could be normal, have a normal childhood and a normal life.

In my 23 years of life have I been searching for someone who thinks at least similar to me, but so far no success.

This is going to be quite a long post since I will be talking about my experiences about my way of life and my way of processing new information and concepts. I am in the US, 23M.

I was always quite different, said my teacher from the first grade, and in her opinion not in a good way. Other kids noticed that I was different too, so I kept to myself most of the time. At a very young age, I was processing information a lot differently as opposed to others. I didn't quite "get it", especially when we were learning about basic world concepts.

For my first two grades, I didn't have a hard time in school since things were mostly easy. That changed in the third grade when grades started. When my mother was talking to my then teacher about me and how I am doing in school, she said something that my mother had been thinking about a long time but just couldn't put it into words. She said that my brains worked differently than of all other students. I wasn't really quick at understanding concepts like the other students, but when I finally after a long time understood it, I understood it better than anyone else.

Moving on, as you might imagine, I had quite a lot of trouble during my school years. I wasn't able to hold on to new knowledge easily and spent a lot of my days studying in my room, just trying to understand what was taught in the class. The school system wasn't designed for me and my way of thinking and there were too many exams. Don't worry, my grades were good and nobody said that I was having trouble in school, but I was working more than all the others.

That lasted for about ten years until I got out of school. Every day after school, I would come home and study everything that others already understood. Whenever the teacher asked something during the class, I never knew what to answer. And that wasn't just in school ,but also in other activities. I was slow to pick up the rules of a sport or a card game, or in any case, any social activity game.

I got called retarded and stupid many times and some teachers even said that I might have a learning or personal desiability. I just couldn't grasp concepts as quickly as others could. In higher grades, when I had to study more, I was struggling a lot since I had to learn everything about what we talked in class and than other subjects which were going to be on the test.

And here is the thing I noticed by remembering what that teacher said all those years ago. I am slow to pick up things, but once I understand them, I do them and excell at them better than anyone else.

I was just sitting in my room, thinking about all of this. And here is what I noticed. Let's say that the subject in the math class was multiplication (I also needed a long time to understand that). Everyone of course picks up on it easily, except me. So, as usual, I get home and start studying. I don't even look at the title, I instantly look for small details. Let's say specific numbers or the multiplication sign, but never understanding what am I am even learning, just picking up those small little precious details. And weeks pass, everyone knows how to multiply, except me, I only know those details, which I learn every day. And one day, my brain starts something. I don't have control when it happens or why. It starts connecting those details, one by one, they all fall into their rightful place inside my brain. And after that, finally, the whole picture starts to make sense. I understand. And the wave of excitement I feel at that moment is immeasurable, I cherisch the moment. And suddenly, I can multiply better than the whole class. I can do hard exercises better than anyone else.

And this is what that teacher meant. I don't initally see the whole picture, I just look at the details of the subject. After a thousand of these details start connecting, I get the whole picture and that is why I understand it is well. Details + whole picture, while others first understand the whole picture and than the details.

I wish that I could say this is a good thing. And it may be a good thing, but I just haven't noticed it yet.

My first 20 years of my life were really hard because of this. I was a lot different. I didn't know anybody else who saw the world the same way as me. I was isolated most of the time in the books. I think because of the fact that I sometimes understood concepts better than anyone else, other kids got jealous of me. I was bullied for almost ten years. I wish I had a group with like-minded individualy.

I am thankfully out of school now, but things are not that much better. While you are reading this, you might ask yourself, how I am even functioning in the world? Answer? Not great, because it isn't built for me, it is built for the majority, which is a good thing. I have had 30 driving lessons with my isntructor and he has said that I am one of the worst candidates he has ever had and make mistakes that he has seen nobody ever do before. Because I am only picking up the details. But I think that eventually, with time, I will gather enough of these details to maybe become a better driver than most.

The same goes for maps, orientation and public transport . I got lost all the time and my parents were thinking I am insane, but after a while, my orientation and my understanding of public transport is so good that I am pretty much the guide now in major cities.

As you might imagine, the job search is brutal. I got fired about four times just in one summer when I tried to have a summer job, even from Mcdonald's. And believe me, I tried my best. Due to my learning differences, I was once again really slow at doing the job, even while in training because I wasn't getting the whole concept, only those details. I got told that I was incompetent and stupid, that hurt a lot. And I kept seeing others who could drive and have work experience on their resumes, while I couldn't.

For example, if you were watching me in the store trying to grab an item, I would move so weird that you would think I was an autistic robot with bad pathfinding abilities. I would see a product, go to that product, grab it, go to the other side of the store, grab another product, forget where you are and go back to the entrance of the store.

I am trying to better myself really day, but I think to properly function in the world, I have to change my way of thinking, at least to get some sort of balance. So first: understand the whole concept, and then pick up the details. I have been going to galleries lately and I try to literally see the whole painting instead of the details of the painting.

I am trying really hard. I pretty much have no friends here now, except for those from my home town, i think that people dislike me because I am so different. I try to mask it, but it often times doesn't work. I am trying my hardest. I just wish I could be normal, have a normal childhood and a normal life.

In my 23 years of life have I been searching for someone who thinks at least similar to me, but so far no success.

This is going to be quite a long post since I will be talking about my experiences about my way of life and my way of processing new information and concepts. I am in the US, 23M.

I was always quite different, said my teacher from the first grade, and in her opinion not in a good way. Other kids noticed that I was different too, so I kept to myself most of the time. At a very young age, I was processing information a lot differently as opposed to others. I didn't quite "get it", especially when we were learning about basic world concepts.

For my first two grades, I didn't have a hard time in school since things were mostly easy. That changed in the third grade when grades started. When my mother was talking to my then teacher about me and how I am doing in school, she said something that my mother had been thinking about a long time but just couldn't put it into words. She said that my brains worked differently than of all other students. I wasn't really quick at understanding concepts like the other students, but when I finally after a long time understood it, I understood it better than anyone else.

Moving on, as you might imagine, I had quite a lot of trouble during my school years. I wasn't able to hold on to new knowledge easily and spent a lot of my days studying in my room, just trying to understand what was taught in the class. The school system wasn't designed for me and my way of thinking and there were too many exams. Don't worry, my grades were good and nobody said that I was having trouble in school, but I was working more than all the others.

That lasted for about ten years until I got out of school. Every day after school, I would come home and study everything that others already understood. Whenever the teacher asked something during the class, I never knew what to answer. And that wasn't just in school ,but also in other activities. I was slow to pick up the rules of a sport or a card game, or in any case, any social activity game.

I got called retarded and stupid many times and some teachers even said that I might have a learning or personal desiability. I just couldn't grasp concepts as quickly as others could. In higher grades, when I had to study more, I was struggling a lot since I had to learn everything about what we talked in class and than other subjects which were going to be on the test.

And here is the thing I noticed by remembering what that teacher said all those years ago. I am slow to pick up things, but once I understand them, I do them and excell at them better than anyone else.

I was just sitting in my room, thinking about all of this. And here is what I noticed. Let's say that the subject in the math class was multiplication (I also needed a long time to understand that). Everyone of course picks up on it easily, except me. So, as usual, I get home and start studying. I don't even look at the title, I instantly look for small details. Let's say specific numbers or the multiplication sign, but never understanding what am I am even learning, just picking up those small little precious details. And weeks pass, everyone knows how to multiply, except me, I only know those details, which I learn every day. And one day, my brain starts something. I don't have control when it happens or why. It starts connecting those details, one by one, they all fall into their rightful place inside my brain. And after that, finally, the whole picture starts to make sense. I understand. And the wave of excitement I feel at that moment is immeasurable, I cherisch the moment. And suddenly, I can multiply better than the whole class. I can do hard exercises better than anyone else.

And this is what that teacher meant. I don't initally see the whole picture, I just look at the details of the subject. After a thousand of these details start connecting, I get the whole picture and that is why I understand it is well. Details + whole picture, while others first understand the whole picture and than the details.

I wish that I could say this is a good thing. And it may be a good thing, but I just haven't noticed it yet.

My first 20 years of my life were really hard because of this. I was a lot different. I didn't know anybody else who saw the world the same way as me. I was isolated most of the time in the books. I think because of the fact that I sometimes understood concepts better than anyone else, other kids got jealous of me. I was bullied for almost ten years. I wish I had a group with like-minded individualy.

I am thankfully out of school now, but things are not that much better. While you are reading this, you might ask yourself, how I am even functioning in the world? Answer? Not great, because it isn't built for me, it is built for the majority, which is a good thing. I have had 30 driving lessons with my isntructor and he has said that I am one of the worst candidates he has ever had and make mistakes that he has seen nobody ever do before. Because I am only picking up the details. But I think that eventually, with time, I will gather enough of these details to maybe become a better driver than most.

The same goes for maps, orientation and public transport . I got lost all the time and my parents were thinking I am insane, but after a while, my orientation and my understanding of public transport is so good that I am pretty much the guide now in major cities.

As you might imagine, the job search is brutal. I got fired about four times just in one summer when I tried to have a summer job, even from Mcdonald's. And believe me, I tried my best. Due to my learning differences, I was once again really slow at doing the job, even while in training because I wasn't getting the whole concept, only those details. I got told that I was incompetent and stupid, that hurt a lot. And I kept seeing others who could drive and have work experience on their resumes, while I couldn't.

For example, if you were watching me in the store trying to grab an item, I would move so weird that you would think I was an autistic robot with bad pathfinding abilities. I would see a product, go to that product, grab it, go to the other side of the store, grab another product, forget where you are and go back to the entrance of the store.

I am trying to better myself really day, but I think to properly function in the world, I have to change my way of thinking, at least to get some sort of balance. So first: understand the whole concept, and then pick up the details. I have been going to galleries lately and I try to literally see the whole painting instead of the details of the painting.

I am trying really hard. I pretty much have no friends here now, except for those from my home town, i think that people dislike me because I am so different. I try to mask it, but it often times doesn't work. I am trying my hardest. I just wish I could be normal, have a normal childhood and a normal life.

In my 23 years of life have I been searching for someone who thinks at least similar to me, but so far no success.

This is going to be quite a long post since I will be talking about my experiences about my way of life and my way of processing new information and concepts. I am in the US, 23M.

I was always quite different, said my teacher from the first grade, and in her opinion not in a good way. Other kids noticed that I was different too, so I kept to myself most of the time. At a very young age, I was processing information a lot differently as opposed to others. I didn't quite "get it", especially when we were learning about basic world concepts.

For my first two grades, I didn't have a hard time in school since things were mostly easy. That changed in the third grade when grades started. When my mother was talking to my then teacher about me and how I am doing in school, she said something that my mother had been thinking about a long time but just couldn't put it into words. She said that my brains worked differently than of all other students. I wasn't really quick at understanding concepts like the other students, but when I finally after a long time understood it, I understood it better than anyone else.

Moving on, as you might imagine, I had quite a lot of trouble during my school years. I wasn't able to hold on to new knowledge easily and spent a lot of my days studying in my room, just trying to understand what was taught in the class. The school system wasn't designed for me and my way of thinking and there were too many exams. Don't worry, my grades were good and nobody said that I was having trouble in school, but I was working more than all the others.

That lasted for about ten years until I got out of school. Every day after school, I would come home and study everything that others already understood. Whenever the teacher asked something during the class, I never knew what to answer. And that wasn't just in school ,but also in other activities. I was slow to pick up the rules of a sport or a card game, or in any case, any social activity game.

I got called retarded and stupid many times and some teachers even said that I might have a learning or personal desiability. I just couldn't grasp concepts as quickly as others could. In higher grades, when I had to study more, I was struggling a lot since I had to learn everything about what we talked in class and than other subjects which were going to be on the test.

And here is the thing I noticed by remembering what that teacher said all those years ago. I am slow to pick up things, but once I understand them, I do them and excell at them better than anyone else.

I was just sitting in my room, thinking about all of this. And here is what I noticed. Let's say that the subject in the math class was multiplication (I also needed a long time to understand that). Everyone of course picks up on it easily, except me. So, as usual, I get home and start studying. I don't even look at the title, I instantly look for small details. Let's say specific numbers or the multiplication sign, but never understanding what am I am even learning, just picking up those small little precious details. And weeks pass, everyone knows how to multiply, except me, I only know those details, which I learn every day. And one day, my brain starts something. I don't have control when it happens or why. It starts connecting those details, one by one, they all fall into their rightful place inside my brain. And after that, finally, the whole picture starts to make sense. I understand. And the wave of excitement I feel at that moment is immeasurable, I cherisch the moment. And suddenly, I can multiply better than the whole class. I can do hard exercises better than anyone else.

And this is what that teacher meant. I don't initally see the whole picture, I just look at the details of the subject. After a thousand of these details start connecting, I get the whole picture and that is why I understand it is well. Details + whole picture, while others first understand the whole picture and than the details.

I wish that I could say this is a good thing. And it may be a good thing, but I just haven't noticed it yet.

My first 20 years of my life were really hard because of this. I was a lot different. I didn't know anybody else who saw the world the same way as me. I was isolated most of the time in the books. I think because of the fact that I sometimes understood concepts better than anyone else, other kids got jealous of me. I was bullied for almost ten years. I wish I had a group with like-minded individualy.

I am thankfully out of school now, but things are not that much better. While you are reading this, you might ask yourself, how I am even functioning in the world? Answer? Not great, because it isn't built for me, it is built for the majority, which is a good thing. I have had 30 driving lessons with my isntructor and he has said that I am one of the worst candidates he has ever had and make mistakes that he has seen nobody ever do before. Because I am only picking up the details. But I think that eventually, with time, I will gather enough of these details to maybe become a better driver than most.

The same goes for maps, orientation and public transport . I got lost all the time and my parents were thinking I am insane, but after a while, my orientation and my understanding of public transport is so good that I am pretty much the guide now in major cities.

As you might imagine, the job search is brutal. I got fired about four times just in one summer when I tried to have a summer job, even from Mcdonald's. And believe me, I tried my best. Due to my learning differences, I was once again really slow at doing the job, even while in training because I wasn't getting the whole concept, only those details. I got told that I was incompetent and stupid, that hurt a lot. And I kept seeing others who could drive and have work experience on their resumes, while I couldn't.

For example, if you were watching me in the store trying to grab an item, I would move so weird that you would think I was an autistic robot with bad pathfinding abilities. I would see a product, go to that product, grab it, go to the other side of the store, grab another product, forget where you are and go back to the entrance of the store.

I am trying to better myself really day, but I think to properly function in the world, I have to change my way of thinking, at least to get some sort of balance. So first: understand the whole concept, and then pick up the details. I have been going to galleries lately and I try to literally see the whole painting instead of the details of the painting.

I am trying really hard. I pretty much have no friends here now, except for those from my home town, i think that people dislike me because I am so different. I try to mask it, but it often times doesn't work. I am trying my hardest. I just wish I could be normal, have a normal childhood and a normal life.

In my 23 years of life have I been searching for someone who thinks at least similar to me, but so far no success.

 

I am pouring my heart out now since I cannot make a single friend due to my previous experiences. Let me tell you a little about my past.

I was a victim of
bullying for ten years. Not just in school, but also in social activities and
events. People of all different ages bullied me a lot. I spent a lot of
evenings just crying, terrified of going to school. My parents kind of pushed
me to those social activites, but almost every time I got bullied and
humiliated. I don't really know what was so different within me. I got bullied
even by neighbours. The parents of those children said that there was something
wrong with me.

It lasted for over 10
years. I was excited to grow up. I am much better off now, but still have a lot
of trauma. I am at the university now and for 7 months I haven't made a single
friend anywhere. I joined clubs, but whenever I try to to talk to others, they
seem disinterested in me. Because of all of that bullying, I am still scared in
my own town.

Now, it has gotten worse.
I don't even want to talk to people anymore. The thing is, I can gather up
courage, but the risk is too great. If I start to talk to someone, there is
such a high chance that I will get bullied again that it is not worth it. What
you have to understand is that sometimes I even got made fun of when I was just
standing or sitting there. People were pointing fingers at me and laughing at
me. I cannot make new friends because the chance of this happening to me again
is so great. I believe that if I start to talk to someone, he/she will make fun
of me and ridicule me, then others will join in and I will be the object of
ridicule again. This is what will happen to me. I believe that most people are
cruel and evil.

And I am probably wrong,
but you also have to understand this from my perspective. If you were
experiencing something like that for 10+ years, you would also be scared of
people. If you approached a snake five times already and it bit you every
single time, then you won't approach it again. This is how I view people. And
again, I am probably wrong, but this has been my experience so far and I don't
think almost nothing can change my mind at this point.

My family also said that
I will have a hard time finding a girlfriend because of my personality and because
of who I am. I don't know what is so wrong with me, I try to be nice to
everybody, sometimes I am a little stubborn, but I have seen people worse than
me have better social lives.

I think that no one
corresponds with me. I feel like an alien who will die alone and forgotten.

I am pouring my heart out now since I cannot make a single friend due to my previous experiences. Let me tell you a little about my past.

I was a victim of
bullying for ten years. Not just in school, but also in social activities and
events. People of all different ages bullied me a lot. I spent a lot of
evenings just crying, terrified of going to school. My parents kind of pushed
me to those social activites, but almost every time I got bullied and
humiliated. I don't really know what was so different within me. I got bullied
even by neighbours. The parents of those children said that there was something
wrong with me.

It lasted for over 10
years. I was excited to grow up. I am much better off now, but still have a lot
of trauma. I am at the university now and for 7 months I haven't made a single
friend anywhere. I joined clubs, but whenever I try to to talk to others, they
seem disinterested in me. Because of all of that bullying, I am still scared in
my own town.

Now, it has gotten worse.
I don't even want to talk to people anymore. The thing is, I can gather up
courage, but the risk is too great. If I start to talk to someone, there is
such a high chance that I will get bullied again that it is not worth it. What
you have to understand is that sometimes I even got made fun of when I was just
standing or sitting there. People were pointing fingers at me and laughing at
me. I cannot make new friends because the chance of this happening to me again
is so great. I believe that if I start to talk to someone, he/she will make fun
of me and ridicule me, then others will join in and I will be the object of
ridicule again. This is what will happen to me. I believe that most people are
cruel and evil.

And I am probably wrong,
but you also have to understand this from my perspective. If you were
experiencing something like that for 10+ years, you would also be scared of
people. If you approached a snake five times already and it bit you every
single time, then you won't approach it again. This is how I view people. And
again, I am probably wrong, but this has been my experience so far and I don't
think almost nothing can change my mind at this point.

My family also said that
I will have a hard time finding a girlfriend because of my personality and because
of who I am. I don't know what is so wrong with me, I try to be nice to
everybody, sometimes I am a little stubborn, but I have seen people worse than
me have better social lives.

I think that no one
corresponds with me. I feel like an alien who will die alone and forgotten.

I am pouring my heart out now since I cannot make a single friend due to my previous experiences. Let me tell you a little about my past.

I was a victim of
bullying for ten years. Not just in school, but also in social activities and
events. People of all different ages bullied me a lot. I spent a lot of
evenings just crying, terrified of going to school. My parents kind of pushed
me to those social activites, but almost every time I got bullied and
humiliated. I don't really know what was so different within me. I got bullied
even by neighbours. The parents of those children said that there was something
wrong with me.

It lasted for over 10
years. I was excited to grow up. I am much better off now, but still have a lot
of trauma. I am at the university now and for 7 months I haven't made a single
friend anywhere. I joined clubs, but whenever I try to to talk to others, they
seem disinterested in me. Because of all of that bullying, I am still scared in
my own town.

Now, it has gotten worse.
I don't even want to talk to people anymore. The thing is, I can gather up
courage, but the risk is too great. If I start to talk to someone, there is
such a high chance that I will get bullied again that it is not worth it. What
you have to understand is that sometimes I even got made fun of when I was just
standing or sitting there. People were pointing fingers at me and laughing at
me. I cannot make new friends because the chance of this happening to me again
is so great. I believe that if I start to talk to someone, he/she will make fun
of me and ridicule me, then others will join in and I will be the object of
ridicule again. This is what will happen to me. I believe that most people are
cruel and evil.

And I am probably wrong,
but you also have to understand this from my perspective. If you were
experiencing something like that for 10+ years, you would also be scared of
people. If you approached a snake five times already and it bit you every
single time, then you won't approach it again. This is how I view people. And
again, I am probably wrong, but this has been my experience so far and I don't
think almost nothing can change my mind at this point.

My family also said that
I will have a hard time finding a girlfriend because of my personality and because
of who I am. I don't know what is so wrong with me, I try to be nice to
everybody, sometimes I am a little stubborn, but I have seen people worse than
me have better social lives.

I think that no one
corresponds with me. I feel like an alien who will die alone and forgotten.

I am pouring my heart out now since I cannot make a single friend due to my previous experiences. Let me tell you a little about my past.

I was a victim of
bullying for ten years. Not just in school, but also in social activities and
events. People of all different ages bullied me a lot. I spent a lot of
evenings just crying, terrified of going to school. My parents kind of pushed
me to those social activites, but almost every time I got bullied and
humiliated. I don't really know what was so different within me. I got bullied
even by neighbours. The parents of those children said that there was something
wrong with me.

It lasted for over 10
years. I was excited to grow up. I am much better off now, but still have a lot
of trauma. I am at the university now and for 7 months I haven't made a single
friend anywhere. I joined clubs, but whenever I try to to talk to others, they
seem disinterested in me. Because of all of that bullying, I am still scared in
my own town.

Now, it has gotten worse.
I don't even want to talk to people anymore. The thing is, I can gather up
courage, but the risk is too great. If I start to talk to someone, there is
such a high chance that I will get bullied again that it is not worth it. What
you have to understand is that sometimes I even got made fun of when I was just
standing or sitting there. People were pointing fingers at me and laughing at
me. I cannot make new friends because the chance of this happening to me again
is so great. I believe that if I start to talk to someone, he/she will make fun
of me and ridicule me, then others will join in and I will be the object of
ridicule again. This is what will happen to me. I believe that most people are
cruel and evil.

And I am probably wrong,
but you also have to understand this from my perspective. If you were
experiencing something like that for 10+ years, you would also be scared of
people. If you approached a snake five times already and it bit you every
single time, then you won't approach it again. This is how I view people. And
again, I am probably wrong, but this has been my experience so far and I don't
think almost nothing can change my mind at this point.

My family also said that
I will have a hard time finding a girlfriend because of my personality and because
of who I am. I don't know what is so wrong with me, I try to be nice to
everybody, sometimes I am a little stubborn, but I have seen people worse than
me have better social lives.

I think that no one
corresponds with me. I feel like an alien who will die alone and forgotten.

I am posting on here to find help because I need it really badly. If you read this, please let me know if anyone else is struggling with the same issues as me.

I was always a special kid, and not in a good way. I was different. I didn't struggle at school in the first grade, although my teacher said that I seemed like I wasn't even aware that I was in a school. But let me talk about my actual troubles now.

I couldn't figure out how to read a clock. I needed about 2 weeks to figure it out. My parents got quite worried because I just couldn't understand it, even though my younger sister figured it out before me. Now at 20 I understand the analog clock, but I am still having trrouble telling the time for the digital one. I still mess up 40 and 50, any I messed up many dates due to that.

Next thing, I was pretty good at school for memorizing, even though I had to work hard to remember something. When it came to reading graphs, maps and mathematical functions, I was having a lot of trouble. I still cannot read graphs or I need a lot of time to figure them out.

My coordinatal functions are also very bad. I got lost lots of times in places I shouldn't have, sometimes even in my school or house.

I was always bad at maths, even basic numbers. I cannot calculate basic equations, such as 76 + 30 or something like that. If I had to pay 17.46, I wouldn't know how to do that or I would have to use a calculator or a sheet and it would take a really long time.

Jokingly, I even struggle with basic kid's games and puzzles. For example, I cannot put the same colours toggether, I cannot put 2D objects in 3D objects. It requires a lot of thinking power for me.

When it came to driving, as you can imagine, is embarasingly bad. I am 25 hours of lessons in and I still cannot do most things, except for driving forward. Others are making fun of me because of that. Even my driving instructor said that in his 20 years of educating others he still hasn' seen someone drive as badly as me or has made the same mistakes I have. This hurts. I am afraid that I am too dangerous to drive a car.

As you might imagine, searching for a job is hopeless at this point. When I was 19, I gathered lots of courage and tried with my first job. It was some sandwich making place where I had to make sandwiches. I got fired after three days because I couldn't memorize the recipes or handle more than 3 orders at the same time. I couldn't remember even where different ingredients were located, in which drawers after three days. I tried as a cashier, but I cannot return change, as described above. I cannot work as a waiter because I cannot remember tables. I cannot do much because I forget everything.

So yeah, I was searching through the Internet. I may get a diagnosis, but I just wanted to share it here if someone else struggles with this. I have no idea how am I ever going to hold a job or do anything meaningful in life.

I researched Nonverbal Learning disorder and developmental coordination discorder, since a lot of things match up.

At this point, my only goal in life is not to end up homeless, even if I am at a homeless shelter. I really don't know what to do. I have 0 work experience, nothing to put on my cv because I was fired from everywhere.

If you ever feel pathetic or useless in your life, you can read this. You won't go as low as this.

I am posting on here to find help because I need it really badly. If you read this, please let me know if anyone else is struggling with the same issues as me.

I was always a special kid, and not in a good way. I was different. I didn't struggle at school in the first grade, although my teacher said that I seemed like I wasn't even aware that I was in a school. But let me talk about my actual troubles now.

I couldn't figure out how to read a clock. I needed about 2 weeks to figure it out. My parents got quite worried because I just couldn't understand it, even though my younger sister figured it out before me. Now at 20 I understand the analog clock, but I am still having trrouble telling the time for the digital one. I still mess up 40 and 50, any I messed up many dates due to that.

Next thing, I was pretty good at school for memorizing, even though I had to work hard to remember something. When it came to reading graphs, maps and mathematical functions, I was having a lot of trouble. I still cannot read graphs or I need a lot of time to figure them out.

My coordinatal functions are also very bad. I got lost lots of times in places I shouldn't have, sometimes even in my school or house.

I was always bad at maths, even basic numbers. I cannot calculate basic equations, such as 76 + 30 or something like that. If I had to pay 17.46, I wouldn't know how to do that or I would have to use a calculator or a sheet and it would take a really long time.

Jokingly, I even struggle with basic kid's games and puzzles. For example, I cannot put the same colours toggether, I cannot put 2D objects in 3D objects. It requires a lot of thinking power for me.

When it came to driving, as you can imagine, is embarasingly bad. I am 25 hours of lessons in and I still cannot do most things, except for driving forward. Others are making fun of me because of that. Even my driving instructor said that in his 20 years of educating others he still hasn' seen someone drive as badly as me or has made the same mistakes I have. This hurts. I am afraid that I am too dangerous to drive a car.

As you might imagine, searching for a job is hopeless at this point. When I was 19, I gathered lots of courage and tried with my first job. It was some sandwich making place where I had to make sandwiches. I got fired after three days because I couldn't memorize the recipes or handle more than 3 orders at the same time. I couldn't remember even where different ingredients were located, in which drawers after three days. I tried as a cashier, but I cannot return change, as described above. I cannot work as a waiter because I cannot remember tables. I cannot do much because I forget everything.

So yeah, I was searching through the Internet. I may get a diagnosis, but I just wanted to share it here if someone else struggles with this. I have no idea how am I ever going to hold a job or do anything meaningful in life.

I researched Nonverbal Learning disorder and developmental coordination discorder, since a lot of things match up.

At this point, my only goal in life is not to end up homeless, even if I am at a homeless shelter. I really don't know what to do. I have 0 work experience, nothing to put on my cv because I was fired from everywhere.

If you ever feel pathetic or useless in your life, you can read this. You won't go as low as this.

I am posting on here to find help because I need it really badly. If you read this, please let me know if anyone else is struggling with the same issues as me.

I was always a special kid, and not in a good way. I was different. I didn't struggle at school in the first grade, although my teacher said that I seemed like I wasn't even aware that I was in a school. But let me talk about my actual troubles now.

I couldn't figure out how to read a clock. I needed about 2 weeks to figure it out. My parents got quite worried because I just couldn't understand it, even though my younger sister figured it out before me. Now at 20 I understand the analog clock, but I am still having trrouble telling the time for the digital one. I still mess up 40 and 50, any I messed up many dates due to that.

Next thing, I was pretty good at school for memorizing, even though I had to work hard to remember something. When it came to reading graphs, maps and mathematical functions, I was having a lot of trouble. I still cannot read graphs or I need a lot of time to figure them out.

My coordinatal functions are also very bad. I got lost lots of times in places I shouldn't have, sometimes even in my school or house.

I was always bad at maths, even basic numbers. I cannot calculate basic equations, such as 76 + 30 or something like that. If I had to pay 17.46, I wouldn't know how to do that or I would have to use a calculator or a sheet and it would take a really long time.

Jokingly, I even struggle with basic kid's games and puzzles. For example, I cannot put the same colours toggether, I cannot put 2D objects in 3D objects. It requires a lot of thinking power for me.

When it came to driving, as you can imagine, is embarasingly bad. I am 25 hours of lessons in and I still cannot do most things, except for driving forward. Others are making fun of me because of that. Even my driving instructor said that in his 20 years of educating others he still hasn' seen someone drive as badly as me or has made the same mistakes I have. This hurts. I am afraid that I am too dangerous to drive a car.

As you might imagine, searching for a job is hopeless at this point. When I was 19, I gathered lots of courage and tried with my first job. It was some sandwich making place where I had to make sandwiches. I got fired after three days because I couldn't memorize the recipes or handle more than 3 orders at the same time. I couldn't remember even where different ingredients were located, in which drawers after three days. I tried as a cashier, but I cannot return change, as described above. I cannot work as a waiter because I cannot remember tables. I cannot do much because I forget everything.

So yeah, I was searching through the Internet. I may get a diagnosis, but I just wanted to share it here if someone else struggles with this. I have no idea how am I ever going to hold a job or do anything meaningful in life.

I researched Nonverbal Learning disorder and developmental coordination discorder, since a lot of things match up.

At this point, my only goal in life is not to end up homeless, even if I am at a homeless shelter. I really don't know what to do. I have 0 work experience, nothing to put on my cv because I was fired from everywhere.

If you ever feel pathetic or useless in your life, you can read this. You won't go as low as this.

I am posting on here to find help because I need it really badly. If you read this, please let me know if anyone else is struggling with the same issues as me.

I was always a special kid, and not in a good way. I was different. I didn't struggle at school in the first grade, although my teacher said that I seemed like I wasn't even aware that I was in a school. But let me talk about my actual troubles now.

I couldn't figure out how to read a clock. I needed about 2 weeks to figure it out. My parents got quite worried because I just couldn't understand it, even though my younger sister figured it out before me. Now at 20 I understand the analog clock, but I am still having trrouble telling the time for the digital one. I still mess up 40 and 50, any I messed up many dates due to that.

Next thing, I was pretty good at school for memorizing, even though I had to work hard to remember something. When it came to reading graphs, maps and mathematical functions, I was having a lot of trouble. I still cannot read graphs or I need a lot of time to figure them out.

My coordinatal functions are also very bad. I got lost lots of times in places I shouldn't have, sometimes even in my school or house.

I was always bad at maths, even basic numbers. I cannot calculate basic equations, such as 76 + 30 or something like that. If I had to pay 17.46, I wouldn't know how to do that or I would have to use a calculator or a sheet and it would take a really long time.

Jokingly, I even struggle with basic kid's games and puzzles. For example, I cannot put the same colours toggether, I cannot put 2D objects in 3D objects. It requires a lot of thinking power for me.

When it came to driving, as you can imagine, is embarasingly bad. I am 25 hours of lessons in and I still cannot do most things, except for driving forward. Others are making fun of me because of that. Even my driving instructor said that in his 20 years of educating others he still hasn' seen someone drive as badly as me or has made the same mistakes I have. This hurts. I am afraid that I am too dangerous to drive a car.

As you might imagine, searching for a job is hopeless at this point. When I was 19, I gathered lots of courage and tried with my first job. It was some sandwich making place where I had to make sandwiches. I got fired after three days because I couldn't memorize the recipes or handle more than 3 orders at the same time. I couldn't remember even where different ingredients were located, in which drawers after three days. I tried as a cashier, but I cannot return change, as described above. I cannot work as a waiter because I cannot remember tables. I cannot do much because I forget everything.

So yeah, I was searching through the Internet. I may get a diagnosis, but I just wanted to share it here if someone else struggles with this. I have no idea how am I ever going to hold a job or do anything meaningful in life.

I researched Nonverbal Learning disorder and developmental coordination discorder, since a lot of things match up.

At this point, my only goal in life is not to end up homeless, even if I am at a homeless shelter. I really don't know what to do. I have 0 work experience, nothing to put on my cv because I was fired from everywhere.

Does anyone else deal with this?

If you ever feel pathetic or useless in your life, you can read this. You won't go as low as this.

I am posting on here to find help because I need it really badly. If you read this, please let me know if anyone else is struggling with the same issues as me.

I was always a special kid, and not in a good way. I was different. I didn't struggle at school in the first grade, although my teacher said that I seemed like I wasn't even aware that I was in a school. But let me talk about my actual troubles now.

I couldn't figure out how to read a clock. I needed about 2 weeks to figure it out. My parents got quite worried because I just couldn't understand it, even though my younger sister figured it out before me. Now at 20 I understand the analog clock, but I am still having trrouble telling the time for the digital one. I still mess up 40 and 50, any I messed up many dates due to that.

Next thing, I was pretty good at school for memorizing, even though I had to work hard to remember something. When it came to reading graphs, maps and mathematical functions, I was having a lot of trouble. I still cannot read graphs or I need a lot of time to figure them out.

My coordinatal functions are also very bad. I got lost lots of times in places I shouldn't have, sometimes even in my school or house.

I was always bad at maths, even basic numbers. I cannot calculate basic equations, such as 76 + 30 or something like that. If I had to pay 17.46, I wouldn't know how to do that or I would have to use a calculator or a sheet and it would take a really long time.

Jokingly, I even struggle with basic kid's games and puzzles. For example, I cannot put the same colours toggether, I cannot put 2D objects in 3D objects. It requires a lot of thinking power for me.

When it came to driving, as you can imagine, is embarasingly bad. I am 25 hours of lessons in and I still cannot do most things, except for driving forward. Others are making fun of me because of that. Even my driving instructor said that in his 20 years of educating others he still hasn' seen someone drive as badly as me or has made the same mistakes I have. This hurts. I am afraid that I am too dangerous to drive a car.

As you might imagine, searching for a job is hopeless at this point. When I was 19, I gathered lots of courage and tried with my first job. It was some sandwich making place where I had to make sandwiches. I got fired after three days because I couldn't memorize the recipes or handle more than 3 orders at the same time. I couldn't remember even where different ingredients were located, in which drawers after three days. I tried as a cashier, but I cannot return change, as described above. I cannot work as a waiter because I cannot remember tables. I cannot do much because I forget everything.

So yeah, I was searching through the Internet. I may get a diagnosis, but I just wanted to share it here if someone else struggles with this. I have no idea how am I ever going to hold a job or do anything meaningful in life.

I researched Nonverbal Learning disorder and developmental coordination discorder, since a lot of things match up.

At this point, my only goal in life is not to end up homeless, even if I am at a homeless shelter. I really don't know what to do. I have 0 work experience, nothing to put on my cv because I was fired from everywhere.

If you ever feel pathetic or useless in your life, you can read this. You won't go as low as this.