u/Adorable-Teaching266

I have been friends with these two girls (I’ll refer to as J and P) for years. I met P in college and shortly after I met J in college. I was the reason why they met like I introduced them. Recently, things have felt off, especially with J but when I went out with her and P it kind of pushed everything over the edge.

The three of us went out to dinner. I sat next to P, and then she literally said she was going to put her bag next to me and went to sit next to J instead. So I ended up sitting by myself while they sat together and talked most of the night. I felt completely left out and like I had to force myself into conversations.

At one point they asked about my visa process (I’m waiting on a marriage visa and it’s been really stressful and uncertain). I told them I’m at my wits end and that if I don’t hear back by December, I’m considering moving to Korea. This visa process has caused me so much depression and loneliness. Sadly, we heard that the process is delayed due to the U.S. government and after hearing that I have spiraled into deeper depression. I’m pretty lucky that I get to see him very often in South Korea.

When I told the girls about my decision of moving there P responded with “that’s stupid,” and J immediately agreed with her. P insisted I need to finish when I started. I told them I’m in a lot of pain over this situation and it’s really affecting me, and P said her aunt waited 10 years for a visa. That honestly just made me feel worse and more hopeless.

The whole night I felt ignored and unsupported. I decided to leave and skip getting dessert with them. I made up an excuse about catching a train. Neither of them got up, hugged me, or even really acknowledged me leaving. It was just like “okay bye.” When one of us leaves we always would get up to hug the other goodbye. I guess this time it wasn’t a big deal to them.

This isn’t the first time things have felt off, but that really made me feel like I’m not valued in this friendship anymore. I always felt like their 3rd wheel. Also, J and I had a falling out a year ago and we tried to rekindle the friendship. Now I don’t think the friendship should have been rekindled. We used to be best friends but now we’re just strangers. They wanted to get dessert and I just left to catch my train. I’m sorry but ice cream or a pastry with them won’t make me feel any better. I got a warm baked cookie to bring home for my train ride home. Sure it won’t help with the loneliness and sadness but I’m happy I left to go home.

I wish I received more support about my depression with the visa situation and moving to Korea. I didn’t want to be told that I’m stupid for thinking of moving there. I have never felt more alone than I do right now. I’m also not looking for anyone’s approval to move to Korea like I’m just letting them know of my plans.

J is having her birthday dinner in June and I’m honestly dreading it. I’m afraid to go and be ignored the whole time as P and J are attached to each other. I have noticed every time we go out J and P cling to each other and I’m left out. It sounds horrible and a painful dreadful evening. I’m thinking of calling out the day of and making up some excuse like “oh I can’t come I’m sick”. P mentioned J’s birthday through text about how it’s coming up and we need to make plans. I’m thinking of either making it seem like I’m going and calling out sick the day of or maybe should I be honest with P and tell her I feel like I’m a third wheel to them and tell her I’m not going?

For me it’s simple:

I’m choosing Ringu I’m simply not going to watch the tape. I also love Japan soooo any chance to be in Japan sounds like a good deal for me!

A few years ago, I met a guy on Tinder and I really liked him. I thought he was handsome and I hoped we would become boyfriend and girlfriend.

On one date, we were alone in a movie theater. He kept trying to make advances toward me, and I kept moving away because I felt uncomfortable.

On another date, he told me he felt like I wasn’t into him. I explained that I did like him, but I just wasn’t ready to do anything sexual.

Instead of respecting that, he told me that maybe I was “asexual” and that something was wrong with me because I didn’t have sexual feelings. He then lifted my shirt and sucked on my breast without my consent. He also pressured me into touching his penis and pointed out that I wasn’t reacting.

I left feeling disgusted, ashamed, and confused. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what had happened, and I tried very hard to forget about it. I didn’t have a long history with relationships or dating so I convinced myself that this is normal with relationships.

Recently, my husband mentioned this person while we were talking about past relationships, and it brought all of those memories back. I realized that I don’t see this as a normal dating experience because I did not consent to what happened. When he mentioned it I weakly said “no…. that doesn’t count”

I have only told my husband and one close friend. I never told my parents, family, or other friends. I’m posting here because I want to know if others have experienced something similar and how you coped with realizing later that what happened was sexual assault. I worked so hard to dig this far away to not think about and it bringing brought up again I don’t know how to handle it. I so badly wanted to forget about it.

Disclaimer: ED and body image issues mentioned

For the longest time I have suffered with body dysmorphia. I’m 29 and 4’11 but of course as you get older your body changes. I’m having a really hard time with my body. For a while it was 120-125 but now it seems my body is now 126-128. My clothes all still fit and I’m usually small-medium and I still fit into juniors clothes. Even with all of that I hate how my body looks and I always think I look bigger. It’s the type of thing that destroys me and I’m toxic so I’m always weighing myself to see any change. I simply don’t love my body.

I always workout a lot with walking and other food workouts that I like to do. I get over 12k steps in a day to stay fit. I purposely park far away from work to get an extra workout in. I have been walking a lot now due to the weather getting nicer. So I always do everything I can to get fit and I heard a while ago if you walk more or exercise more you initially gain more weight as your body adjusts. After all the workout my body went back down to 126 and I’m back in that range.

I was trying on a dress and the way the dress was on me it looked awkward because I didn’t fully pull it down. My mom said “you can lose 5 pounds” and then she noticed the way the dress was hugging me that it wasn’t pulled down completely. Of course that all still hurt to hear and after that she said “you’re getting a bit of a stomach just stay away from the sweets and keep working out”. She followed it up with “just be mindful of that”. She also said that she’s noticing I’m developing a stomach and to cut down on the sweets. She asked if I’m pregnant which hurt to hear. I told her that I had ramen for dinner with a friend and maybe that’s why I look bloated since ramen is full of salt. She suggested I should lose weight and go back to 120. After all of that I just nodded and walked away. I feel like crying and I keep looking at myself in the mirror with disappointment.

Disclaimer: ED and body image issues mentioned

For the longest time I have suffered with body dysmorphia. I’m 29 and 4’11 but of course as you get older your body changes. I’m having a really hard time with my body. For a while it was 120-125 but now it seems my body is now 126-128. My clothes all still fit and I’m usually small-medium and I still fit into juniors clothes. Even with all of that I hate how my body looks and I always think I look bigger. It’s the type of thing that destroys me and I’m toxic so I’m always weighing myself to see any change. I simply don’t love my body.

I always workout a lot with walking and other food workouts that I like to do. I get over 12k steps in a day to stay fit. I purposely park far away from work to get an extra workout in. I have been walking a lot now due to the weather getting nicer. So I always do everything I can to get fit and I heard a while ago if you walk more or exercise more you initially gain more weight as your body adjusts. After all the workout my body went back down to 126 and I’m back in that range.

I was trying on a dress and the way the dress was on me it looked awkward because I didn’t fully pull it down. My mom said “you can lose 5 pounds” and then she noticed the way the dress was hugging me that it wasn’t pulled down completely. Of course that all still hurt to hear and after that she said “you’re getting a bit of a stomach just stay away from the sweets and keep working out”. She followed it up with “just be mindful of that”. She also said that she’s noticing I’m developing a stomach and to cut down on the sweets. She asked if I’m pregnant which hurt to hear. I told her that I had ramen for dinner with a friend and maybe that’s why I look bloated since ramen is full of salt. She suggested I should lose weight and go back to 120. After all of that I just nodded and walked away. I feel like crying and I keep looking at myself in the mirror with disappointment.

For the longest time I have suffered with body dysmorphia. I’m 29 and 4’11 but of course as you get older your body changes. I’m having a really hard time with my body. For a while it was 120-125 but now it seems my body is now 126-128. My clothes all still fit and I’m usually small-medium and I still fit into juniors clothes. Even with all of that I hate how my body looks and I always think I look bigger. It’s the type of thing that destroys me and I’m toxic so I’m always weighing myself to see any change. I simply don’t love my body.

I always workout a lot with walking and other food workouts that I like to do. I get over 12k steps in a day to stay fit. I purposely park far away from work to get an extra workout in. I have been walking a lot now due to the weather getting nicer. So I always do everything I can to get fit and I heard a while ago if you walk more or exercise more you initially gain more weight as your body adjusts. After all the workout my body went back down to 126 and I’m back in that range.

I was trying on a dress and the way the dress was on me it looked awkward because I didn’t fully pull it down. My mom said “you can lose 5 pounds” and then she noticed the way the dress was hugging me that it wasn’t pulled down completely. Of course that all still hurt to hear and after that she said “you’re getting a bit of a stomach just stay away from the sweets and keep working out”. She followed it up with “just be mindful of that” I just nodded and walked away. I feel like crying and I keep looking at myself in the mirror with disappointment.

My mom has been asking me for a while to go on walks with her so she can get back into exercising. I do think it’s nice and I want her to be healthy, but I’m really drained after work and I already have my own routine where I go for a solo mile walk to decompress, listen to music, and unwind.

After that I usually come home, eat dinner (which is already kind of late), and go to bed because I’m exhausted. Work has been draining me so much and it’s a very hard type of drained. I come home everyday stressed out and exhausted.

When my mom keeps asking for the past few days about going for a walk I’ve been saying “not today” because I didn’t want to upset her, but she kept asking again today. When I finally said I wasn’t going today, she got really upset.

I tried explaining that I’m just really tired from work and need my own walk and downtime. I also tried offering a compromise, like maybe going on walks together before dinner or on another day, but she shut that down and said even if we went before dinner she’d still have to come home and make me dinner. She kept saying I just don’t want to say yes to her and called my explanations “excuses.”

She also said things like “I do everything for you and you can’t do this one thing for me,” which made me feel really guilty. I tried telling her I’m not refusing her, I’m just trying to find a way that works with my energy level, but the conversation kept escalating.

At one point I walked away and she followed after me and said “you’re making me cry.” I told her I wasn’t trying to make her cry and that I’ve been overwhelmed and even crying from work stress lately, not because of her, but that made things worse and she acted like I was blaming her. She then said “wowww I make you cry that’s great to know” and I quickly responded and said “no I mean work is making me cry”

Now she’s being quiet/snappy and it feels like no matter what I say or do, it turns into me being the problem for not agreeing to go with her. I feel really guilty, but I also feel like I’m not wrong for needing my own time after work and not wanting to be responsible for her exercise routine.

For context, I’ve been friends with these two girls (I’ll refer to as J and P) for years. I met P in college and shortly after I met J in college. I was the reason why they met like I introduced them. Recently, things have felt off, especially with J but tonight kind of pushed everything over the edge.

The three of us went out to dinner. I sat next to P, and then she literally said she was going to put her bag next to me and went to sit next to J instead. So I ended up sitting by myself while they sat together and talked most of the night. I felt completely left out and like I had to force myself into conversations.

At one point they asked about my visa process (I’m waiting on a marriage visa and it’s been really stressful and uncertain). I told them I’m at my wits end and that if I don’t hear back by December, I’m considering moving to Korea. This visa process has caused me so much depression and loneliness. Sadly, we heard that the process is delayed due to the U.S. government and after hearing that I have spiraled into deeper depression. I’m pretty lucky that I get to see him very often in South Korea.

When I told the girls about my decision of moving there P responded with “that’s stupid,” and J immediately agreed with her. P insisted I need to finish when I started. I told them I’m in a lot of pain over this situation and it’s really affecting me, and P said her aunt waited 10 years for a visa. That honestly just made me feel worse and more hopeless.

The whole night I felt ignored and unsupported. When I left, I made up an excuse about catching a train. Neither of them got up, hugged me, or even really acknowledged me leaving. It was just like “okay bye.” When one of us leaves we always would get up to hug the other goodbye. I guess this time it wasn’t a big deal to them.

This isn’t the first time things have felt off, but tonight really made me feel like I’m not valued in this friendship anymore. I always felt like their 3rd wheel. Also, J and I had a falling out a year ago and we tried to rekindle the friendship. Now I don’t think the friendship should have been rekindled. We used to be best friends but now we’re just strangers. They wanted to get dessert and I just left to catch my train. I’m sorry but ice cream or a pastry with them won’t make me feel any better. I got a warm baked cookie to bring home for my train ride home. Sure it won’t help with the loneliness and sadness but I’m happy I left to go home.

I wish I received more support about my depression with the visa situation and moving to Korea. I didn’t want to be told that I’m stupid for thinking of moving there. I have never felt more alone than I do right now.

I’m also not looking for anyone’s approval to move to Korea like I’m just letting them know of my plans.

J is having her birthday dinner in June and I’m honestly dreading it. I’m afraid to go and be ignored the whole time as P and J are attached to each other. It sounds horrible and a painful evening. I’m thinking of calling out the day of and making up some excuse like “oh I can’t come I’m sick”. Honestly, I feel like neither of these girls in this context are my friends. I also can’t figure out why J lies to P because J never told P she’s back with her toxic boyfriend because she knows P would never approve. I went to Japan with P back in February and when I mentioned that I feel bad that J isn’t coming she said “well it’s not our fault she’s broke”. I don’t think they are really close friends but yet at a group hangout they are so involved with each other and I’m just ignored. I really regret introducing them to each other.

Is it bad that I want to completely pull away from them and all future hangouts?

Oh don’t get me started on the Korean War. I don’t know if it’s because my grandpa (who I was very close to) fought in the Korean War and I always honor his courage from fighting in the war. I visit South Korea 5 times a year since my husband is from Seoul. Every time I visit I make it a point to visit the Korean War memorial to pay tribute to all of those who passed and everyone that suffered. I will always have love and respect for all of those who served and those whose lives were saved. I love to look at my grandpa’s Korean War polaroid photos. I have so much interest for the Korean War and I can spend hours talking about it. There’s so much to it and there’s so many layers of this war.

I’m from New York and my husband is from South Korea. I visit South Korea 5 times a year as my husband and I wait for our visa. From visiting Korea I have been to Japan a handful of times with my husband and in laws. I was planning on visiting Japan in August since it might be our last time in Korea for a while. I told my husband about my idea and at first he was interested in going but then he decided against it. He ended up telling me that he doesn’t want to go to Japan. I’m going to be in Korea for 3 weeks and it’s really hot during August. In northern Japan it’s very cool in temperature and much more comfortable. I told him that I might go by myself or see if anyone I know in Korea wants to go with me. He doesn’t seem too thrilled with that idea but it’s my vacation too. Also, I love this kpop group Big Bang and if I can’t get tickets for their show in Korea I want to travel to Japan or Taiwan to see them. I really want to enjoy time to myself while traveling and I just mean 3-4 days nothing crazy.

My grandpa (my dad’s father) was never a part of his life. He was sadly an absent father to my dad and his siblings. My grandpa passed away when I was a child but I never got to meet him. The only thing I know about my grandpa was that he was a marine during the Korean War. He enlisted into the marines when he was 19 after WWII. He came from a normal family but after the war he developed a gambling addiction and was an absent father.

It’s weird but sometimes I wish I could meet him. I only have 1 photo of him during the Korean War. I have been told that I look like him and sometimes I just stare at the photo of him to just feel something. I feel so bad for how his life turned out. I can’t help but to think about him and wish things were different.

There’s so many I can think of but these two have been coming to mind.

1. I saw the devil - I watched this movie back in college. I was going out with this guy and he mentioned this movie. He dared me to watch it and I was like “ok bet” he then told me to make sure I don’t eat before, during, or after the movie. I was like “ok that’s a weird comment??” but I took his word for it. Oh my gosh that movie was horrible and so gruesome. I was really sick the whole time watching the movie and after. After watching it I cut it off with the guy and that was for the better!

2. Eyes without a face - I watched this movie during Halloween. It was very hauntingly beautiful but that was definitely more intense than I expected it to be. I wouldn’t watch it again anytime soon but it is a masterpiece.

Hi all! I made a post a few days about how my husband and I are planning to go to Japan in August. I found some ideas of places to visit but I want to make sure it’s not too humid.

1. Sendai

2. Nikko

3. Hokkaido - Sapporo

4. Aomori

I noticed a lot of these places have day trips that would be nice too. I have been to Hokkaido and Sapporo before but my husband has never been. I really love temples, shrines, and palaces so that’s the type of places I’m really interested in seeing.

For context, I’ve been friends with these two girls (I’ll refer to as J and P) for years. I met P in college and shortly after I met J in college. I was the reason why they met like I introduced them. Recently, things have felt off, especially with J but tonight kind of pushed everything over the edge.

The three of us went out to dinner. I sat next to P, and then she literally said she was going to put her bag next to me and went to sit next to J instead. So I ended up sitting by myself while they sat together and talked most of the night. I felt completely left out and like I had to force myself into conversations.

At one point they asked about my visa process (I’m waiting on a marriage visa and it’s been really stressful and uncertain). I told them I’m at my wits end and that if I don’t hear back by December, I’m considering moving to Korea. This visa process has caused me so much depression and loneliness. Sadly, we heard that the process is delayed due to the U.S. government and after hearing that I have spiraled into deeper depression. I’m pretty lucky that I get to see him very often in South Korea.

When I told the girls about my decision of moving there P responded with “that’s stupid,” and J immediately agreed with her. P insisted I need to finish when I started. I told them I’m in a lot of pain over this situation and it’s really affecting me, and P said her aunt waited 10 years for a visa. That honestly just made me feel worse and more hopeless.

The whole night I felt ignored and unsupported. When I left, I made up an excuse about catching a train. Neither of them got up, hugged me, or even really acknowledged me leaving. It was just like “okay bye.” When one of us leaves we always would get up to hug the other goodbye. I guess this time it wasn’t a big deal to them.

This isn’t the first time things have felt off, but tonight really made me feel like I’m not valued in this friendship anymore. I always felt like their 3rd wheel. Also, J and I had a falling out a year ago and we tried to rekindle the friendship. Now I don’t think the friendship should have been rekindled. We used to be best friends but now we’re just strangers. They wanted to get dessert and I just left to catch my train. I’m sorry but ice cream or a pastry with them won’t make me feel any better. I got a warm baked cookie to bring home for my train ride home. Sure it won’t help with the loneliness and sadness but I’m happy I left to go home.

I wish I received more support about my depression with the visa situation and moving to Korea. I didn’t want to be told that I’m stupid for thinking of moving there. I have never felt more alone than I do right now.

I’m also not looking for anyone’s approval to move to Korea like I’m just letting them know of my plans.

J is having her birthday dinner in June and I’m honestly dreading it. I’m afraid to go and be ignored the whole time as P and J are attached to each other. It sounds horrible and a painful evening. I’m thinking of calling out the day of and making up some excuse like “oh I can’t come I’m sick”. Honestly, I feel like neither of these girls in this context are my friends. I also can’t figure out why J lies to P because J never told P she’s back with her toxic boyfriend because she knows P would never approve. I went to Japan with P back in February and when I mentioned that I feel bad that J isn’t coming she said “well it’s not our fault she’s broke”. I don’t think they are really close friends but yet at a group hangout they are so involved with each other and I’m just ignored. I really regret introducing them to each other.

Is it bad that I want to completely pull away from them and all future hangouts?