u/734uinvyu

Please be kind & respectful when replying to this!!
I also don’t condone acting on these desires

Tw: trauma, sa

Hi, so for context Im the eldest daughter & a muslim women and I suffer from some mental health problems & have trauma from men & being touched inappropriately by men in family/some men in my family have abuse charges against them.

Basically I’ve never really had good experiences with men in my life nor seen a good husband + wife relationship in my family, tbh only I’ve only see healthy muslim relationships on social media & they seem performative for the camera & not irl life. The Muslim relationships I’ve witnessed between my parents was abusive, toxic & traumatic.

So, I think I have a reason for disliking most men & to top it off I’m a hijabi so no men approach me (alhamdulilah for that!) & I’ve never rly gotten anyone interested in me for marriage & with our Islamic society I mostly hang out with women & stay far away from men.

Throughout my life I’ve noticed that yes, I did have crushes on men but couldn’t see myself building a life with them (most Muslim guys are red pilled & want submissive women nowadays & we don’t get a say in anything ) & im scared of toxic masculinity. Like yes, men are attractive & masculinity is important to some extent but I’m scared of ever marrying one & I feel I only find men with “feminine traits” attractive (like empathy, kindness, self awareness, respect lol 😭I know these traits aren’t only for women & it’s the bare minimum but most men lack this!!!) Tbh I’m mostly attracted to if some guy has a decent personality and is a good human being. Sometimes I even have crushes on non Muslim men because they aren’t so hyper masculine & toxic I find? They are more carefree & kind (just an observation ik many are different).

I do however have thoughts throughout my life of dating women or non binary individuals esp those that are masculine presenting, even some that are more feminine presenting & I feel I am attracted to them because they’re empathetic, kind & caring individuals & I relate to them more.

Idk how to cope with these feelings I feel immense guilt and loneliness, but I can’t control my feelings? I feel atp of my life I need therapy for it or just to accept that I’ll never marry a man & be okay with being single for the rest of my life but that sounds so depressing bc I do want someone to be kind and take care of me

Anyone experienced the same? Would love to talk to someone who has similar experience or advice as I feel so alone.

Please be kind & respectful when replying to this!!
I also don’t condone acting on these desires

Tw: trauma, sa

Hi, so for context Im the eldest daughter & a muslim women and I suffer from some mental health problems & have trauma from men & being touched inappropriately by men in family/some men in my family have abuse charges against them.

Basically I’ve never really had good experiences with men in my life nor seen a good husband + wife relationship in my family, tbh only I’ve only see healthy muslim relationships on social media & they seem performative for the camera & not irl life. The Muslim relationships I’ve witnessed between my parents was abusive, toxic & traumatic.

So, I think I have a reason for disliking most men & to top it off I’m a hijabi, mostly shy & dress modesty so no men approach me (alhamdulilah for that!) & I’ve never rly gotten anyone interested in me for marriage & with our Islamic society I mostly hang out with women & stay far away from men.

Throughout my life I’ve noticed that yes, I did have crushes on men but couldn’t see myself building a life with them (most Muslim guys are red pilled & want submissive women nowadays & we don’t get a say in anything ) & im scared of toxic masculinity. Like yes, men are attractive & masculinity is important to some extent but I’m scared of ever marrying one & I feel I only find men with “feminine traits” attractive (like empathy, kindness, self awareness, respect lol 😭I know these traits aren’t only for women & it’s the bare minimum but most men lack this!!!) Tbh I’m mostly attracted to if some guy has a decent personality and is a good human being. Sometimes I even have crushes on non Muslim men because they aren’t so hyper masculine & toxic I find? They are more carefree & kind (just an observation ik many are different).

I do however have thoughts throughout my life of being with women or non binary individuals esp those that are masculine presenting & I feel I am attracted to physical and character trait wise aswell because they tend to be more empathetic, kind & caring individuals & I relate to them more.

Recently these thoughts & a specific one sided crush has been consuming my mind & it’s rly hard to stop thinking about her, thankfuly I’m not close to her anymore so maybe the distance is good?

Idk how to cope with these feelings I feel immense guilt and loneliness, but I can’t control my feelings? I feel atp of my life I need therapy for it or just to accept that I’ll never marry a man & be okay with being single for the rest of my life but that sounds so depressing bc I do want someone to be kind and take care of me

Anyone experienced the same? How do you cope?

Please be kind & respectful when replying to this!!
I also don’t condone acting on these desires

Tw: trauma, sa

Hi, so for context Im the eldest daughter & a muslim women and I suffer from some mental health problems & have trauma from men & being touched inappropriately by men in family/some men in my family have abuse charges against them.

Basically I’ve never really had good experiences with men in my life nor seen a good husband + wife relationship in my family, tbh only I’ve only see healthy muslim relationships on social media & they seem performative for the camera & not irl life. The Muslim relationships I’ve witnessed between my parents was abusive, toxic & traumatic.

So, I think I have a reason for disliking most men & to top it off I’m a hijabi so no men approach me (alhamdulilah for that!) & I’ve never rly gotten anyone interested in me for marriage & with our Islamic society I mostly hang out with women & stay far away from men.

Throughout my life I’ve noticed that yes, I did have crushes on men but couldn’t see myself building a life with them (most Muslim guys are red pilled & want submissive women nowadays & we don’t get a say in anything ) & im scared of toxic masculinity. Like yes, men are attractive & masculinity is important to some extent but I’m scared of ever marrying one & I feel I only find men with “feminine traits” attractive (like empathy, kindness, self awareness, respect lol 😭I know these traits aren’t only for women & it’s the bare minimum but most men lack this!!!) Tbh I’m mostly attracted to if some guy has a decent personality and is a good human being. Sometimes I even have crushes on non Muslim men because they aren’t so hyper masculine & toxic I find? They are more carefree & kind (just an observation ik many are different).

I do however have thoughts throughout my life of dating women or non binary individuals esp those that are masculine presenting, even some that are more feminine presenting & I feel I am attracted to them because they’re empathetic, kind & caring individuals & I relate to them more.

Idk how to cope with these feelings I feel immense guilt and loneliness, but I can’t control my feelings? I feel atp of my life I need therapy for it or just to accept that I’ll never marry a man & be okay with being single for the rest of my life but that sounds so depressing bc I do want someone to be kind and take care of me

Anyone experienced the same?

Hey, so I’m the eldest daughter and feel I’ve been parentified most of my life & always have been sensitive, in tune with my emotions and highly sensitive, empathetic and self aware. It come to a point where I give my all to everyone & don’t care about my own health, mind & wellbeing. How to cope with this & be kinder to myself and my needs? How to have boundaries?

Please be kind & respectful when replying to this!!
I also don’t condone acting on these desires

Tw: trauma, sa

Hi, so for context Im a muslim women and I suffer from some mental health problems & have trauma from men & being touched inappropriately by my brother when I was younger & my father has charges against him for inappropriate things.

Basically I’ve never really had good experiences with men in my life nor seen a good men + wife relationship in my family, tbh only see healthy Muslim relationships online & not irl life. The Muslim relationships I’ve witnessed between my parents was abusive, toxic & traumatic.

So, I think I have a reason for disliking most men & to top it off I’m a hijabi so no men approach me (alhamdulilah for that) & I’ve never rly gotten anyone interested in me for marriage & with our Islamic society I mostly hang out with women & stay far away from men.

Throughout my life I’ve noticed that yes, I did have crushes on men but couldn’t see myself building a life with them & being a submissive women (which most Muslim guys want nowadays) & im scared of the toxic masculinity. Like yes, men are attractive but I’m scared of ever marrying one. Sometimes I even have crushes on non Muslim men because they aren’t so hyper masculine & toxic I find? They are more carefree & kind (just an observation ik many are different).

I do however have thoughts throughout my life of dating women or non binary individuals & I feel I am attracted to them because they’re empathetic, kind & caring people most of them.

Idk how to cope with these feelings I feel immense guilt and loneliness, but I can’t control my feelings? I feel atp of my life I need therapy for it or just to accept that I’ll never marry a man & be okay with being single for my life but that sounds so depressing bc I do want someone to be kind and take care of me

Anyone experienced the same?

For context: I was inpatient at the mental health ward bc of my anxiety and it was my first time & when I came into the hospital ,throughout this time there was this student nurse that caught my eye, I liked their style, mannerisms, & caring nature. I think I got attracted to them? They were around my age (we were both uni students) they would color with me, make direct eye contact, hug me, they were a good listener, compliment my clothing & tell me I smell good.

They were always happy when I was their patient & I even made them a card for thanking them for their care & they were really nice about it & asked permission to hug me & we hugged for some time until I was the one who let go of the hug bc it went for a long time & I didn’t want my feelings to get hurt bc I then realized I was starting to get attached to them.

Allot of the time they were my nurse in the night shift and they would come into my room & would give me good advice for my mental health & would hear me vent & they were a good listener & we would talk allot & sometimes they would blush when I was joking/talking & I could see them smirking in a cute way. We were also both I think anxious / awkward ppl so sometimes I would notice them blushing & I liked that quirk about both of us.

We were both empathetic people which is a quality I admire, & it was funny bc even though I was a patient I would ask them how they were doing & ofc they would do the same to me.

I’ve never had this type of care before, & I know it was their job to take care of me but I can’t stop thinking of them and even had dreams of meeting them again & becoming friends? and have looked online for their Linkdeln or social media & unfortunately couldn’t find it.

I am self aware to know it was just their job as a nurse to be kind with me but it still felt nice to have someone care for me and attleast I know what I want from a partner in the future (I’ve never been in a relationship & haven’t gotten intense care like this so I feel maybe it’s a reason why I’ve gotten attached)

Idk how to stop thinking of them especially since I now do outpatient at the hospital

Also extra info: My psychiatrist diagnosed me with anxiety disorder & he feels I have obsessional traits (not rly ocd but one of its qualities)

For context I don’t like labeling myself but I guess I’m a straight woman? But recently I’ve noticed that women who dress masculine & non binary individuals have caught my eye? Idk what these feelings mean or if it’s just normal but something about woman which I prefer over men is the empathy, kindness & relatability which I’ve never found I’ve had with men. idk if these feelings are romantic or admiration because I’ve always admired their confidence in being themselves.

& if I do like a man, I don’t like them to be so macho masculine & prefer someone who is in tune with their feelings, empathy, etc.

Haha now writing this I’m realizing Idk if I even like men bc most of them don’t even have the bare minimum standards for treating a women right

Is my trauma valid? Throughout my life I’ve never had a good experience with a boy nor man and they’ve all failed me.

Starting with my brother

We are a year apart for context, tbh my memory is bad but I believe it was elementary/middle school & maybe high school Idk tbh but he used to touch my feet when I was sleeping & idk what else he touched tbh because I am a heavy sleeper but theirs been times I’ve faked being asleep and he was crouched down near my bed and a few times he coerced me to let him hold my foot but then he put it on his private part and for years I didn’t know that he would get “turned on” by a certain body part of mine. I didn’t wear socks around the house and I didn’t know “foot fetishes” exist & he even had inappropriate images on his computer.

If I would have known how severe it was I wouldn’t have seen it as a joke and told someone sooner. When I did reach out to my mom who was someone that I had thought I was close with - instead they blamed me for it and said I may have wanted to attract him on purpose. I hate it here. My mom made me move upstairs and she said it’s good I’ll be safe because I can lock the door that’s in that room.

My brother makes jokes about me moving upstairs and it’s sick because he clearly knows why I’m here.

I’ve always been the daughter who gives my empathy to everyone & I always encourage my brother to look for a job, go to school, etc but he doesnt listen to my advice & plays video games all day and stays in his room & I’ve stopped giving advice to him & my energy to them because they are undeserving and I’m starting to realize that now.

My mom babies my brother so much that he doesn’t do any chores or have responsibilities & when he does she praises him & his incompetence.

Fast forward to now I recently came out of the mental hospital because I was struggling with my mental health & it’s so wierd because all this childhood trauma resurfaced for me & I finally got the courage to block my brother on my phone (even though we live in the same house) & told my mom about how he touched me inappropriately when we were younger & she first blamed me but then she came around and apologized for being an absent mother & not focusing more on me.
She then went to my brother and privately talked to him about how his actions are affecting me and she told him to apologize but he hasn’t yet (& mind you I couldn’t care less if he apologized because I already want him out of my life)

I’ve been ignoring my brother & he sometimes talks to me but I am ignoring him & he seems pissed off, which is SO strange bc all he could say is an apology but his ego & unempathetic nature wouldn’t allow it of him, and I couldn’t care less because I pray to god I one day leave this house or he moves out so I can have some peace of mind.

Am I valid for not wanting to talk to him or have him in my life??? I feel so sad because I broke the family apart

Extra information about men in my life:

Idk if yall wanna know some extra information but my parents are divorced and my father he is someone who has charges of exposing his private parts to adults & minors & has mental health problems & other charges and has been to jail, & when I was younger I had gotten asked by police “has your father ever touched you” which was traumatic bc idk if he did or not

My uncle when I was younger he would put me on his belly and bounce me around.. now thinking back at it idk if it was innocent or not.

Is my trauma valid? Throughout my life I’ve never had a good experience with a boy nor man and they’ve all failed me.

Starting with my brother

We are a year apart for context, tbh my memory is bad but I believe it was elementary/middle school & maybe high school Idk tbh but he used to touch my feet when I was sleeping & idk what else he touched tbh because I am a heavy sleeper but theirs been times I’ve faked being asleep and he was crouched down near my bed and a few times he coerced me to let him hold my foot but then he put it on his private part and for years I didn’t know that he would get “turned on” by a certain body part of mine. I didn’t wear socks around the house and I didn’t know “foot fetishes” exist & he even had inappropriate images on his computer.

If I would have known how severe it was I wouldn’t have seen it as a joke and told someone sooner. When I did reach out to my mom who was someone that I had thought I was close with - instead they blamed me for it and said I may have wanted to attract him on purpose. I hate it here. My mom made me move upstairs and she said it’s good I’ll be safe because I can lock the door that’s in that room.

My brother makes jokes about me moving upstairs and it’s sick because he clearly knows why I’m here.

I’ve always been the daughter who gives my empathy to everyone & I always encourage my brother to look for a job, go to school, etc but he doesnt listen to my advice & plays video games all day and stays in his room & I’ve stopped giving advice to him & my energy to them because they are undeserving and I’m starting to realize that now.

My mom babies my brother so much that he doesn’t do any chores or have responsibilities & when he does she praises him & his incompetence.

Fast forward to now I recently came out of the mental hospital because I was struggling with my mental health & it’s so wierd because all this childhood trauma resurfaced for me & I finally got the courage to block my brother on my phone (even though we live in the same house) & told my mom about how he touched me inappropriately when we were younger & she first blamed me but then she came around and apologized for being an absent mother & not focusing more on me.
She then went to my brother and privately talked to him about how his actions are affecting me and she told him to apologize but he hasn’t yet (& mind you I couldn’t care less if he apologized because I already want him out of my life)

I’ve been ignoring my brother & he sometimes talks to me but I am ignoring him & he seems pissed off, which is SO strange bc all he could say is an apology but his ego & unempathetic nature wouldn’t allow it of him, and I couldn’t care less because I pray to god I one day leave this house or he moves out so I can have some peace of mind.

Am I valid for not wanting to talk to him or have him in my life??? I feel so sad because I broke the family apart

Extra information about men in my life:

Idk if yall wanna know some extra information but my parents are divorced and my father he is someone who has charges of exposing his private parts to adults & minors & has mental health problems & other charges and has been to jail, & when I was younger I had gotten asked by police “has your father ever touched you” which was traumatic bc idk if he did or not

My uncle when I was younger he would put me on his belly and bounce me around.. now thinking back at it idk if it was innocent or not.

Is my trauma valid? Throughout my life I’ve never had a good experience with a boy nor man and they’ve all failed me.

Starting with my brother

We are a year apart for context, tbh my memory is bad but I believe it was elementary/middle school & maybe high school Idk tbh but he used to touch my feet when I was sleeping & idk what else he touched tbh because I am a heavy sleeper but theirs been times I’ve faked being asleep and he was crouched down near my bed and a few times he coerced me to let him hold my foot but then he put it on his private part and for years I didn’t know that he would get “turned on” by a certain body part of mine. I didn’t wear socks around the house and I didn’t know “foot fetishes” exist & he even had inappropriate images on his computer.

If I would have known how severe it was I wouldn’t have seen it as a joke and told someone sooner. When I did reach out to my mom who was someone that I had thought I was close with - instead they blamed me for it and said I may have wanted to attract him on purpose. I hate it here. My mom made me move upstairs and she said it’s good I’ll be safe because I can lock the door that’s in that room.

My brother makes jokes about me moving upstairs and it’s sick because he clearly knows why I’m here.

I’ve always been the daughter who gives my empathy to everyone & I always encourage my brother to look for a job, go to school, etc but he doesnt listen to my advice & plays video games all day and stays in his room & I’ve stopped giving advice to him & my energy to them because they are undeserving and I’m starting to realize that now.

My mom babies my brother so much that he doesn’t do any chores or have responsibilities & when he does she praises him & his incompetence.

Fast forward to now I recently came out of the mental hospital because I was struggling with my mental health & it’s so wierd because all this childhood trauma resurfaced for me & I finally got the courage to block my brother on my phone (even though we live in the same house) & told my mom about how he touched me inappropriately when we were younger & she first blamed me but then she came around and apologized for being an absent mother & not focusing more on me.
She then went to my brother and privately talked to him about how his actions are affecting me and she told him to apologize but he hasn’t yet (& mind you I couldn’t care less if he apologized because I already want him out of my life)

I’ve been ignoring my brother & he sometimes talks to me but I am ignoring him & he seems pissed off, which is SO strange bc all he could say is an apology but his ego & unempathetic nature wouldn’t allow it of him, and I couldn’t care less because I pray to god I one day leave this house or he moves out so I can have some peace of mind.

Am I valid for not wanting to talk to him or have him in my life??? I feel so sad because I broke the family apart

Extra information about men in my life:

Idk if yall wanna know some extra information but my parents are divorced and my father he is someone who has charges of exposing his private parts to adults & minors & has mental health problems & other charges and has been to jail, & when I was younger I had gotten asked by police “has your father ever touched you” which was traumatic bc idk if he did or not

My uncle when I was younger he would put me on his belly and bounce me around.. now thinking back at it idk if it was innocent or not.

To start I haven’t self harmed in years and now with the new medication dose it’s making me depressed and numb idk probably dissociating too, so I started self harming again and it feels like a release of emotions… idk how to describe it but I know it’s bad and I’m awfully self aware of the fact so I make sure not to go too deep. How to have another coping mechanism that releases the pain in healthy way?

So this all started when I was feeling severely anxious and came to my family doctor with concerns that my Zoloft (sertraline) medication (which I’ve been on since 2019) was not working for me

My family doctor then prescribed new medications for me to try but these medication changes were very difficult for me and caused severe side effects (I was laughing uncontrollably, painting my ceiling, crying uncontrollably, etc). I ended up going to the ER because I was not acting like myself.

At the ER, I was told to stop taking my medication, which I did as I was following ER doctors orders (so crazy looking back as basically that doctor made me go cold turkey on my medication) After that, my symptoms became significantly worse, and I had to return to my family doctor, who was very perplexed and confused on why the ER didn’t let me see a psychiatrist so she referred me back to the ER for a psychiatric assessment.

I was then admitted to the mental health psych unit for about three weeks, which was my first ever time & it was TRAUMATIC ( ppl smashing things, jumping out of windows, all the overstimulating noises, people getting restraint, etc ) the whole time I was in the hospital my nervous system was in such a high state of stress & literally went through all the phases of anxiety (flight, freeze, fawn, etc) & barely got good sleep or any mental rest or healing because of the high stress & unfamiliar environment

This was my first time being hospitalized, and the experience was very distressing and overwhelming. Since being discharged, I feel worse than before. I’ve also experienced a resurface of past/childhood trauma.

I now see the psychiatrist that I saw in the mental health psych unit as an outpatient & I’ve now been told that my symptoms have been related to medication withdrawal, and that I have chronic anxiety/ generalized anxiety and social anxiety & im back on the Zoloft which is SO frustrating bc this was the medication I felt wasn’t working for me before the hospital visit and now I’m on a high dose and I’m numb, depressed & self harming. But, the psychiatrist is so adamant on me being on sertraline bc he says this medication is good me.

I feel like my care has not been taken seriously by my psychiatrist. I have not been placed in any day hospital programs (I’ve talked to other patients and they are all in programs!! Which is so frustrating to hear) & the crisis team didnt check up on me after I left the hospital ( so strange bc the other patients I talk to they got a call from them!!) and my requests for additional support or referrals have been brushed off by the psychiatrist all because I told him I started seeing a free mental health counselor (mind you, this counselor is only short term & she’s said that my trauma & problems are out of her scope of work) & the psychiatrist keeps on saying “I should see it through” & that he doesn’t want to pile so many things on me but I feel I can handle both counselling & outpatient hospital programs

I feel because I’m self aware & come with notes to our psychiatrist appointments & have “functioning” mental health problems I’m not being taken seriously…

Thankfuly I have an upcoming psychotherapy appointment in two weeks with an actual therapist but I am currently struggling with intrusive thoughts, having anxiety flare ups, emotional numbness, and have recently relapsed into self-harm again & deep anxiety

Who else has been hospitalized & how did u advocate for yourself afterwards or heal yourself? How did you advocate with your doctors?

I’ve been on Zoloft since 2019 because of my anxiety and feel its not working for me anymore & doctor is so adamant on me being on this medication and is not listening to me

I am still having heart palpitations, rashes, shaking, etc now I have feelings of severe depression, started to self harm again & feel numb or like I’m dissociating

I know the doctor said Zoloft doesnt stop working but I feel they are incorrect? Because at this point I feel this medication is not meant for me or am I incorrect for thinking that

What’s y’all’s experience with zoloft & has it stopped working for you? Do you also feel dissociating and numb? Is this normal

I’ve been on Zoloft since 2019 because of my anxiety and feel its not working for me anymore & the psychiatrist is so adamant on me being on this medication and is not listening to me

I now am on 150mg & still am having heart palpitations, rashes, shaking, etc now I have feelings of severe depression, started to self harm again & feel numb or like I’m dissociating

My psychiatrist has said that Zoloft doesnt stop working & it always works but I feel they are incorrect? Because at this point I feel this medication is not meant for me or am I incorrect for thinking that

What’s y’all’s experience with zoloft & has it stopped working for you? Why do I feel so numb and depressed like a zombie

I was feeling severely anxious and came to my family doctor with concerns that my sertraline medication was not working for me & I had more physical anxiety symptoms on it.

My family doctor then prescribed new medications for anxiety and suspected bipolar disorder. She gave me quetiapine then venlafaxine. These medication changes were very difficult for me and caused severe side effects (I was laughing uncontrollably, painting my ceiling, crying uncontrollably, etc). I ended up going to the ER because I was not acting like myself.

At the ER, I was told to stop taking my medication, which I did as I was following ER doctors orders (so crazy looking back as basically that doctor made me go cold turkey on my medication) After that, my symptoms became significantly worse, and I had to return to my family doctor, who was very perplexed and confused on why the ER didn’t let me see a psychiatrist so she referred me back to the ER for a psychiatric assessment.

I was then admitted to the mental health psych unit for about three weeks, which was my first ever time & it was TRAUMATIC ( ppl smashing things, jumping out of windows, all the overstimulating noises, people getting restraint, etc ) the whole time I was in the hospital my nervous system was in such a high state of stress & literally went through all the phases of anxiety (flight, freeze, fawn, etc) & barely got good sleep or any mental rest or healing because of the high stress & unfamiliar environment

This was my first time being hospitalized, and the experience was very distressing and overwhelming. Since being discharged, I feel worse than before. I’ve also experienced a resurface of past/childhood trauma.

I now see the psychiatrist that I saw in the mental health psych unit as an outpatient & I’ve now been told that I do not have bipolar disorder, and that my symptoms may have been related to medication withdrawal, and that I have chronic anxiety & im back on the sertraline which is SO frustrating bc this was the medication I felt wasn’t working for me before the hospital visit and now I’m on a high dose and I’m numb, depressed & self harming. But, the psychiatrist is so adamant on me being on sertraline bc he says this medication is good me.

I feel like my care has not been taken seriously by my psychiatrist. I have not been placed in any day hospital programs (I’ve talked to other patients and they are all in programs!! Which is so frustrating to hear) & the crisis team didnt check up on me after I left the hospital ( so strange bc the other patients I talk to they got a call from them!!) and my requests for additional support or referrals have been brushed off by the psychiatrist all because I told him I started seeing a free mental health counselor (mind you, this counselor is only short term & she’s said that my trauma & problems are out of her scope of work) & the psychiatrist keeps on saying “I should see it through” & that he doesn’t want to pile so many things on me but I feel I can handle both counselling & outpatient hospital programs

I feel because I’m self aware & come with notes to our psychiatrist appointments & have “functioning” mental health problems I’m not being taken seriously…

I have an upcoming psychotherapy appointment in two weeks with an actual therapist but I am currently struggling with intrusive thoughts, having anxiety flare ups, emotional numbness, and have recently relapsed into self-harm again & deep anxiety

Im so scared & feel lonely & need more support right now because I feel I’m maybe not articulating my feelings well to this psychiatrist and would like to be taken seriously in accessing appropriate care, including outpatient programs or other resources, how do I get this psychiatrist to take me seriously???????

Over the past few months, I’ve gone through a lot with my mental health.

My family doctor initially prescribed medications for anxiety and suspected bipolar disorder, including quetiapine, venlafaxine, and sertraline. These medication changes were very difficult for me and caused severe side effects (I was laughing uncontrollably, painting my ceiling, crying uncontrollably, etc). I ended up going to the ER because I was not acting like myself.

At the ER, I was told to stop taking my medication, which I did as I was following ER doctors orders ( so crazy looking back as basically that doctor made me go cold turkey on my medication) After that, my symptoms became significantly worse, and I had to return to my family doctor, who was very perplexed and confused on why the ER didn’t let me see a psychiatrist so she referred me back to the ER for a psychiatric assessment. I was then admitted to the mental health psych unit for about three weeks, which was my first ever time & it was TRAUMATIC ( ppl smashing things, jumping out of windows, all the overstimulating noises, people getting restraint, etc ) the whole time I was in the hospital my nervous system was in such a high state of stress & literally went through all the phases of anxiety (flight, freeze, fawn, etc) & barely got good sleep because of the high stress & unfamiliar environment

This was my first time being hospitalized, and the experience was very distressing and overwhelming. Since being discharged, I feel worse than before. I’ve also experienced a resurface of past/childhood trauma.

I now see the psychiatrist that I saw in the mental health psych unit as an outpatient & I’ve now been told that I do not have bipolar disorder, and that my symptoms may have been related to medication withdrawal, and that I have chronic anxiety.

However, I feel like my care has not been taken seriously by my psychiatrist. I have not been placed in any day hospital programs (I’ve talked to other patients and they are all in programs!! Which is so frustrating to hear) & the crisis team didnt check up on me after I left the hospital ( so strange bc the other patients I talk to they got a call from them!!) and my requests for additional support or referrals have been brushed off by the psychiatrist all because I told him I started seeing a free mental health counselor (mind you, this counselor is only short term & she’s said that my trauma & problems are out of her scope of work) & the psychiatrist keeps on saying “I should see it through” which is frustrating because ugh she already said my problems are out of her scope

I feel because I’m self aware & come with notes to our psychiatrist appointments & have “functioning” mental health problems I’m not being taken seriously…

I have an upcoming psychotherapy appointment in two weeks with an actual therapist but I am currently struggling with intrusive thoughts, having anxiety flare ups, emotional numbness, and have recently relapsed into self-harm again & deep anxiety

Im so scared & feel lonely & need more support right now and would like to be taken seriously in accessing appropriate care, including outpatient programs or other resources, how do I get this psychiatrist to take me seriously??????