r/muslimgirlieslounge

Salaam girls,

This might be a bit awkward to talk about but I feel like a lot of us silently deal with this.

I’ve always found period tracking kind of stressful because for us it’s not just “my period started” and “my period ended.” It affects salah, fasting, ghusl, wudu, everything.

The part that confuses me the most is spotting.

Like you think you’re done, you’re ready to pray again, then you see a tiny bit of brown/pink discharge and suddenly you’re confused all over again. Do I pray? Do I wait? Do I need ghusl again? Is this still hayd or something else?

I used to keep notes in my phone and then search random answers online, but it just made me more confused because every situation has different conditions.

Recently I found an app called Muslimah Pro and it’s actually made for Muslim women, not just a normal period tracker. You can log bleeding and purity days, and it helps with reminders like when ghusl may be needed. I like that it at least understands that cycle tracking for Muslim women is connected to worship too.

Obviously for serious/complicated cases I’d still ask someone knowledgeable, but for everyday tracking it’s been helpful to have everything in one place instead of trying to remember dates and guess.

Do you girls track spotting somewhere or just go based on memory? I feel like this is one of those things nobody teaches properly and then we’re all just confused every month 😭

Please be kind & respectful when replying to this!!
I also don’t condone acting on these desires

Tw: trauma, sa

Hi, so for context Im the eldest daughter & a muslim women and I suffer from some mental health problems & have trauma from men & being touched inappropriately by men in family/some men in my family have abuse charges against them.

Basically I’ve never really had good experiences with men in my life nor seen a good husband + wife relationship in my family, tbh only I’ve only see healthy muslim relationships on social media & they seem performative for the camera & not irl life. The Muslim relationships I’ve witnessed between my parents was abusive, toxic & traumatic.

So, I think I have a reason for disliking most men & to top it off I’m a hijabi so no men approach me (alhamdulilah for that!) & I’ve never rly gotten anyone interested in me for marriage & with our Islamic society I mostly hang out with women & stay far away from men.

Throughout my life I’ve noticed that yes, I did have crushes on men but couldn’t see myself building a life with them (most Muslim guys are red pilled & want submissive women nowadays & we don’t get a say in anything ) & im scared of toxic masculinity. Like yes, men are attractive & masculinity is important to some extent but I’m scared of ever marrying one & I feel I only find men with “feminine traits” attractive (like empathy, kindness, self awareness, respect lol 😭I know these traits aren’t only for women & it’s the bare minimum but most men lack this!!!) Tbh I’m mostly attracted to if some guy has a decent personality and is a good human being. Sometimes I even have crushes on non Muslim men because they aren’t so hyper masculine & toxic I find? They are more carefree & kind (just an observation ik many are different).

I do however have thoughts throughout my life of dating women or non binary individuals esp those that are masculine presenting, even some that are more feminine presenting & I feel I am attracted to them because they’re empathetic, kind & caring individuals & I relate to them more.

Idk how to cope with these feelings I feel immense guilt and loneliness, but I can’t control my feelings? I feel atp of my life I need therapy for it or just to accept that I’ll never marry a man & be okay with being single for the rest of my life but that sounds so depressing bc I do want someone to be kind and take care of me

Anyone experienced the same? Would love to talk to someone who has similar experience or advice as I feel so alone.

So i just read on islam web that its actually just in matters attaining to the contract and its consequences and obligations and haram.

Why have i never heard of this

Why is it always "no in everything"

Has anyone else known this? Is this common knowledge

So is this really trye

Come on gimme ur best stories

I’m curious how similar or different we all are. If you’re single and in your mid-20s to early 30s, what obligations do you genuinely have right now? And what do you personally feel obligated to?

Are those obligations imposed on you? If so, by who or by what? Family, culture, religion, society, expectations?

Or are they standards and expectations you’ve placed on yourself?

For context: I’ve never really had good male role models in my life & the men that are in my life are incompetent, use women, are not motivated, abusive, etc

& I hate the Muslim men I’ve seen on social media, all red-pilled, have alternate motives with women, two-faced, etc

Idk if I’ll ever get over my fear and distaste of men and low-key worried about my future, but at the same time I couldn’t care less if I’m single for rest of my life, I just hope I can financially help myself and live alone.

It’s so funny, all my friends know me as a man-hater and I’m embracing it, but I do stay kind when my friend is interested in a guy or wants to get married, I’m like the supportive auntie who will always give them advice & encourage them.

Alhamdulilah tho for not having a mindset so focused on marriage, as I want to genuinely focus on myself & build a life that younger me would have liked