I am in no way glorifying SH at all, it is something I struggle with and wouldn’t wish on anyone.
It’s just that in my eyes, it’s a quick release. It only damages yourself physically, and eventually scars can heal.
I know that I’m not the only one that wonders this, but why is it viewed so bad by other people?
Like, why do they think it’s so harmful to yourself?
I found that making and wearing bead bracelets really helps me not self harm, its fun to make, they look pretty, and there's the feeling of the beads pressing on your skin that really helps! I thought I would share incase this helps anyone else!
My parents said they're not letting me go back to school next semester unless I get my scars lasered off. I really don't wanna because it'll be embarrassing for the people who will remove them and they're a part of my body now. My parents think that wanting to keep them is sick behavior and if I truly wished to "recover" I'd have to remove them. I know they don't have my best intentions at heart, though. They're just ashamed of me and don't want anyone to know about what I do as a result of their mistreatment. I have no bodily autonomy whatsoever and self harm (along with the scars) is the only way I get to feel in control of myself. Not to be melodramatic but I feel like they're trying to erase a part of me and cover shit up so that their actions don't come back to bite them. They only talked about getting my scars removed after a whole ordeal with CPS threatening to get involved. I won't go into detail regarding that but is it wrong to feel attached to my scars? Should I be allowed to keep them?
I’m tired my head hurts and I really wanna cut just to feel good before sleeping but I have to wear short sleeves in a few days and the scars won’t go down by then, anything else that will buzz without leaving a mark?
I am a straight A student, genuinely NUMBER ONE in my class, but fucking PE is being a bitch and I have a 91 in the class and its all because my teacher is a fucking bitch and I have been so anxious about it that ive been nauseous and ive had no appetite for days and I have been cutting a lot more than I usually do and its mainly because I actually did confront my pe teacher but she said to me that I didn’t participate BUT I LITERALLY PARTICIPATED BITCH and of course me being me, when I know I’m right and I tell a teacher about something and they tell me that I am wrong I do in fact start crying so there was me trying to hold back tears while this bitch is telling me that I stood still the entire class period WHEN I FUCKING DID NOT. I CARRIED MY TEAM YOU BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP I SWEAR IF YOU EVER SAW ME STAND STILL IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO THROW ME THE BALL. AND I TOLD HER THAT BUT SHE SAID “thats not how that game works” SHUT THE FUCK UP. I have genuinely been crying for the past 5 hours because I am so pissed and anxious and I have AP tests coming up soon and I am so anxious about fucking PE that I can’t even study properly. genuinely pe is my worst grade BY FAR. and I guess the reason I care so much about my grades is because it is the only thing my dad is proud of me for but that is a story for another time,, anyways yeah fuck my big chungus life
on top of this, my girlfriend broke up with me on friday, I fucking hate every single one of my friends because theyre all annoying and they all try to help but theyre all so fucking annoying and loud and I hate every single one of them so much. and my parents keep trying to get me to eat so I dont like them either on top of all the other reasons i dont like them.
There are genuinely 4 people in the entire world that don’t make me want to die and i’m close to only one of them, two of them are like distant friends, and one is a teacher, like genuinely I hate everyone else
If pe is the reason I lose my number 1 rank i WILL kill myself :)
also yes i know i have a superiority complex and yes i know a 91 is an A and yes i know i am being a bitch
I haven’t cut for a several weeks now cuz I went to a mental hospital and got my meds adjusted. I’m having another low point tho and I miss cutting. I miss the relief it gave me. I know it’s unhealthy and only made me worse, I just hate feeling like this.
my goal was 2 months clean. i reached it. i have new blades waiting for me that are super sharp and i’ve never used them. i worked really hard to buy them without my mom finding out. what do i do now? do i just relapse? how long am i supposed to stay clean for? i have to relapse at some point, i’m not ready to stop self harm for life.
Im scared rn my friend relapsed after almost 2 yrs aswell and I saw the fresh cuts it was so incredibly triggering bc we both supported eachother and promised one another we would stop doing this and after seeing that I just felt a urge to relapse again and everything's becoming so stressful with school and my friends r falling into drugs so now everything's just piling on top of eachother and im starting to get suicidal thoughts and urges to self harm again Im really trying to stop myself cuz ive worked so hard to be clean for this long and if I start again Im scared I might not make it out this time....
I feel like my scars are too faded to count as actual SH. I know it sucks to even think of it like that, but I feel like my struggles are never justified. I’m too scared to cut deep. Because of that, my scars fade really quickly, and it feels like none of my trauma is truly shown. Does anyone else feel like this? :(
My friend does self harm a lot and has almost 100 scars and her parents refuse to do anything about it and no one is helping her she wants help but she can’t get it idk how to help her I am very worried about her and I need advice she has been dealing with a lot of things and tried killing herself about 3 times I really need y’all’s help
I am really sorry. /Genuine
I am not panicked like last day, right now my streak is now 22 hours although this may change. My razor is gone, any broken peices I have has been thrown away.. I don't think I am allowed to get a new one yet and want to respect that.
I just want to know what's wrong with me.
If everything will be fine, why should I be ok psyically, I am just going to fuck something up, and not be the person I want to be.
I want to let out the odd sadness I feel.
The small thoughts won't stop, they are also a bit violent, like wanting to rip something off a little.
I think I think I deserve and want to self harm while people are saying they don't, like I am sad and worried for no good reason.
I sometimes want to see myself bleed.
I also don't know if this is making people worry, or cringe, or hate me. None of those are good. Worrying about another person is normal but I'll be fine I should worry about others, I appreciate not being told I deserve to not feel this bitch that's because I want to be not disrespectful or creepy or toxic. I want to be a good person like people I would trust are. If someone hates me I don't know if it's because I did something wrong to someone or if I am just odd.
I am also afraid to stop caring because what if that hurts someone.
Sometimes I remove my vents because they might be unnecessary or I think I'm bothering people.
I want to prepare for my own death if I end up bad, at the same time I don't want to be bad, I don't want to suffer and I don't want to want to die sometimes.
I want my therapist or psychiatrist to tell me what's wrong. I need to call my psychiatrist and know when to do things.
I really hate how some people do horrible stuff because of what they believe is that some people are inferior for being who they are, I hate how some people are just fine with making people feel unsafe or invalidated, I don't want to be that.
i guess I'll just try to distract myself, I wish I stopped thinking about this. I wish everything would be ok, that I could make it ok.
I can't self harm because I started a new streak, I don't want to worry people or disrespect people.
Сегодня я как-то сильно разочаровалась в себе, вспомнив еще одну причину ненависти к себе.
Причина звучит так: я вижу людей в хорошем свете, ценю их, насыщаюсь общением и их обществом, за тем, начинаю обещаться без особых фильтров и друзья перенимают мой хуевый взгляд на мир, точнее, постоянно оценивающую позицию. И мою неуверенность в себе, от чего сами перестают делать необычные от того и классные действия. Сука. Надеялась именно на друзей последние лет 5, вот появляться хорошие друзья, жизнь станет лучше. Но вот, упустила момент своей личности, и к чему моя дружба приводит. Ведь когда расслабляюсь, а именно этого я добиваюсь рядом с человеком, в моей голове начинают генерироваться абсолютно уебанские вещи, за которые мне стыдно, но которые я произношу вслух.
И сегодня произошло именно это, мой единственный человек, которого я ценила за его качества стал мне слишком близок и круг замкнулся.
За эту ночь как-то размышляла о том а что я вообще могу сделать хорошего, чего я хочу от себя, от жизни и мира.
Пришла к выводу что я врежу ему, и при любом раскладе, делаю мир хуже.
Вот, к примеру. Я могу жить без общества, и жила, но голова довольно быстро без него съезжает в псих. А если живу в обществе меня хуярит, то я соц-бомжик, не человек, и за крупицу внимания готова целовать (без преувеличения, если бы это этически было нормой), то я вижу себя сверху всех и обесцениваю абсолютно каждого человека, за базовые человеческие потребности, к примеру, восхваляю и так-то реально восхищаюсь даром человека рисовать, а потом узнаю что он себя крутым не считает, и вижу его поведение(конечно не идеальное мы же люди)в реальности и это накладывается на что-то, и все, данный человек для меня ну что то не выше посудомойки.
Я надеялась что нарцисическая моя сторона меньше проявлена…мдаааа.
Как-то пришла к выводу что я ничем не полезна ни обществу ни себе ни кому вообще, только врежу. И в конце концов а зачем я живу? Что бы есть? Что за бред? Что бы учиться? Это мне приносит удовольствие но все же. Что бы получить одобрение? О дааааа. Одобрение значимых людей? ДА ДА ДА! И это конченная цель? Нет, дальше я смогу заниматься тем что мне правда нравиться, я наконец пойму что конкретно. Но ты же никогда не получишь этого одобрения. Знаю, но без него не смогу.
И еще в ванной ко мне пришла мысль, а почему мы боимся смерти? Типо почему. Хотя есть люди, что выпиливаются, если знают что окружающим без них лучше. Но почему я хочу жить? Что бы доказать что я чего-то стою? Чего то смогу добиться? А кому доказать? Кому? Для чего?
Я чет устала, не хочу жить.
Итог: Посоветуйте что нибудь, пожалуйста.
П. с. Еще я на попечении родителей, так что вдобавок бесправное существо
yesterday i had a friend over and last mintue i purposefully left out a small blade with some blood on it in my bathroom. my bathroom was pretty messy, so it was among (us haha) a bunch of other like makeup toothbrushes bathroom stuff, so i tried to make it look natural/like i ‘accidentally’ left it out.
my friend didn’t even end up going in the bathroom because we were only at my house for a short time. i don’t really know what my thought process was but ig lately like ive been having fantasy’s about like someone close to me figuring out im cutting and then giving me a bunch of comfort. i just want someone to find out and i don’t have to tell them, so they’ll feel bad for me, comfort, pay attention to me. i think in my head i am somehow getting brownie points or whatever for ‘staying strong’ and keeping shit to myself and not telling people directly.
so this makes me sound like i only cut for attention but ive only been thinking about this really recently when ive been cutting mainly for punishment and torelease anxiety for like 3 years, never told anyone before. Does anyone else secretly want people to know?
I realy just wanted to share this in so proud
I recently relapsed but my cut turned out to look different from my usual ones? They are kinda puffy, I’m sure it’s fine. Looks like any other scratch that puffs up but I’m curious..!
I am 13 (yes I am young but hurting) and I told my parents about my depression and all that bad stuff 3 weeks ago and they don’t know how to help without making me feel like shit and wen I told them they made me feel really bad about it and it’s making me stressed so I turned to self harm I’m scared if I tell them wen I’m doing something they will make it worse
i dont know what depth i just hit? i presume deep ass styro but the epidermis layer looked so thin, i think i nearly hit beans and its freaking me out. what do i do?
cw for mentions of sh suicide and rape
my friend (15f), let’s call her Amelia is being raped by her ex/ family friend for the past 4 years or more.
her parents are abusive and dont care. the rapist (her ex/family friend) lets call him jack, does NOT live in the same country as Amelia.
jack and Amelia are immigrants to both separate countries but they see each other very very often since amelia and jack go back to their home country every few months. also jack frequently visits amelia where she lives.
recently I got some pretty disturbing texts from Amelia abt how jack had raped her, Amelia couldnt come into school for a couple days because she said that ‘her legs were physically not able to move’ due to the extent of the rape.
amelias parents could not care less and they’re abusive too.
amelias self harmed + tried to khs in the past and when the school found out her parents were abusive + she was sh’ing, they called her parents. that caused her parents to physically and emotionally beat her even more because their abuse had been reported. also her mom lied to the school and manipulated them into thinking that Amelia’s a liar.
my friend and I are very worried abt Amelia’s health and safety rn. We want to report it to a teacher or counsellor at school, but the repercussions are too bad. Because if we report, then Amelias parents will be even more hard on her, and im talking serious serious abuse.
the school counsellor thinks of Amelia as a liar (because of her mom) and the head of year also has negative thoughts on her.
she doesn’t even know how she’s supposed to report jacks CONSTANT and extreme rape on her since he doesn’t even reside in the country she’s in.
Amelia’s also diagnosed w depression.
amelias self harmed a lot, and while that’s not the biggest issue it still Is one.
just a few hours ago, Amelia told me she was gonna make a case against him, but idk how far that’s gonna go and me and my friend rlly wanna assist her. What should we do
Has anyone started lying more since struggling with self-harm or poor mental health? It doesn’t have to be big lies — just small ones here and there.
I’ve found myself lying more, and it sucks because I used to tell the truth almost all the time.
I really want it, to convince myself on not relapsing, trying to reach a week clean.
Here, I'll start with mine. My mother saw my scars and then she started running her fingers over my keloids and bawling and trying to hug me. Was creepy because she is the reason why I started. I was trying to shrink away from her, but she started screeching like a fucking banshee.
Another time on the bus, the kid in front of my was trying to film me with my scars and laughing with her friend. Was very annoying and dehumanizing.