u/vinxnsnr

I am a straight A student, genuinely NUMBER ONE in my class, but fucking PE is being a bitch and I have a 91 in the class and its all because my teacher is a fucking bitch and I have been so anxious about it that ive been nauseous and ive had no appetite for days and I have been cutting a lot more than I usually do and its mainly because I actually did confront my pe teacher but she said to me that I didn’t participate BUT I LITERALLY PARTICIPATED BITCH and of course me being me, when I know I’m right and I tell a teacher about something and they tell me that I am wrong I do in fact start crying so there was me trying to hold back tears while this bitch is telling me that I stood still the entire class period WHEN I FUCKING DID NOT. I CARRIED MY TEAM YOU BITCH SHUT THE FUCK UP I SWEAR IF YOU EVER SAW ME STAND STILL IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO THROW ME THE BALL. AND I TOLD HER THAT BUT SHE SAID “thats not how that game works” SHUT THE FUCK UP. I have genuinely been crying for the past 5 hours because I am so pissed and anxious and I have AP tests coming up soon and I am so anxious about fucking PE that I can’t even study properly. genuinely pe is my worst grade BY FAR. and I guess the reason I care so much about my grades is because it is the only thing my dad is proud of me for but that is a story for another time,, anyways yeah fuck my big chungus life

on top of this, my girlfriend broke up with me on friday, I fucking hate every single one of my friends because theyre all annoying and they all try to help but theyre all so fucking annoying and loud and I hate every single one of them so much. and my parents keep trying to get me to eat so I dont like them either on top of all the other reasons i dont like them.

There are genuinely 4 people in the entire world that don’t make me want to die and i’m close to only one of them, two of them are like distant friends, and one is a teacher, like genuinely I hate everyone else

If pe is the reason I lose my number 1 rank i WILL kill myself :)

also yes i know i have a superiority complex and yes i know a 91 is an A and yes i know i am being a bitch

i want to die like genuinely i fucking hate every single person in the world besides this one teacher, genuinely i should never get into a relationship ever again because the amount of times ive cut myself because of my now ex girlfriend is stupid and its all my fault, im just a terrible girlfriend and no one would want to be around my unstable jealous fucking self and obviously thats true but idk if my girlfriend even liked me in the first place because i asked her to me my gf and she said no and then later she asked me again and i said yes and literally we have dated twice now and both times we broke up just because she lost feelings. I have been in love with this woman for years I fucking love her so fucking much except when i absolutely despise her but i never tell her that because im not a bitch even though i have ruined plenty of friendships arguing with people just to argue and saying shit to them because they genuinely piss me off and now i genuinely have no friends anymore, i have friends but i hate all my friends so much i fucking hate everyone and the online friend i like to talk to the most responds once every 5 business days and i know she has reasons and i dont blame it on her and shes absolutely awesome and i love her but i wish she talked to me more and idk i just want to vent to people i actually know because i used to vent in this gc with 3 of my friends but then i ruined things because 1. i was the only one who would say anything in the gc and 2. i got into an argument with one of the people in the gc and i still hate her guts so yeah but now im not really active in any group chats and i find it awkward to vent to just one person and there is one friend that i do want to vent to but his parents check his phone and he's friends with my now ex so i cant say shit about her, and my online friends are too nice and would think im a terrible person if i said shit about my ex and i AM a terrible person but i just want someone who could actually know about my shitty self and my shitty life. oh and her birthday is on monday and i got her shit but i dont even want to give it to her anymore because i hate her