r/newborns

FTM and baby girl is 7 weeks old and around the 5 week old mark she started refusing to sleep on her own. Before that she would feed, be changed and go back straight to sleeping in her crib. At first I thought it was just a one off thing and she was just having a bad day/night but the ln it became EVERY DAY.

She needs to be held constantly or she's screaming her head off. She already lost her voice once from just the screaming. She is barely sleeping at night (will be up from around 9pm-3am) and finally falls asleep during sunrise. Even during the days it's a hit or a miss. Sometimes she sleeps for 3-4 hours straight until next feed, other times it's only 45 mins and wide awake. This lack of sleep cannot be good for her!!

She cannot be put down. Once she's down in her crib, the sofa, the bed, anywhere, she's awake within 10 minutes and needs to be held again.

Someone please tell me this is just a phase and will be over soon?! Is this lack of sleep going to affect her overall development? I'm unable to pee without her freaking out if I put her down and I need to get things done. I NEED SLEEP.

Other than this sleep issue, she's eating fine, she's gained weight and has enough wet diapers. She's a happy spitter and sometimes gassy but doesn't show any signs of reflux either.

What do I do ????? Family and hubby are helping as much as they can but they also have work and their own schedules.

I am exhausted, emotionally. Baby is 12 weeks now and he still won't sleep. The most we get at night is one sleep of 1.5 hours in his next to me crib, and that's on a good night. A normal night is waking every 30-60 minutes constantly all night long and needing to be picked up to get back to sleep. Tried co-sleeping but it doesn't change the wake ups.

Tonight I've just broken down. My husband is doing more and more night care because I keep just breaking down crying on the 5th time of trying to put baby back down. But he is working so it's not sustainable like this. We are already doing shifts of 5/6 hours so we're both rested but I can't get through mine anymore. I've just reached my limit. I didn't expect amazing sleep but I really thought he would be able to sleep in 2 hour blocks at least but he just can't. It's gotten even worse since he turned 11 weeks when the 30 minute wakes started.

The thought of doing this for weeks and weeks more feels impossible.

Need to preface this by saying my husband is a very good father & husband, does a lot around the house etc.

There’s one major thing that’s bothering me and we can’t seem to communicate about this in an effective manner, I would like some advice.

I have a 3 month old. My husband is back at work and i’m still on maternity leave, meaning I care for our baby on weekdays. He takes the morning shift before officially logging into work but he is remote, so he is still around sometimes during meetings.

During his morning shift, I notice that he’s on his phone watching movies while he feeds the baby. I’m ok with this since we feed in a side lying position where baby can’t see the screen. After that, I will often see baby dazing off looking at the window while my husband is on his phone. I have commented a few times asking him to give eye contact and talk to him. To which, he says he “just picked it up a minute ago, was interacting with him before”.

When he can be put down after the feed, he leaves him on the bouncer with a toy and the sits on the couch again with his phone. I have asked him to go play with him, do baby morning stretches, or read to him, if he doesn’t have anything to do right now. He will get up and start doing activities with baby if I say something but he is irritated that I’m nagging and telling him what to do. He will then do things that bother me like giving baby too many toys, or just stretching him without speaking, and I will comment - this gets my husband even more annoyed.

Generally, he has called me multiple times for nagging and calling him out for doing things in an unideal manner. I am researching activities to do with my baby and utilizing them, so I want to do the best for my kid and I wish my husband paid the same level of attention on play; talking, and singing to baby.

I need a break from the mental load of making baby work towards milestones and also bond with us. I feel like it’s all me, and husband just gets to “lazy play” with him. And I don’t know how to communicate the right way to play without sounding like i’m naggjng, which i KNOW is annoying.. especially since he actually is a very available and great father and dad.

Living in hell right now, our LO is a week old but since our discharge from hospital she cries non stop from like 9pm to morning 6am, she cries literally non stop unless breastfeeding or feeding through bottle. We both are on breaking point. During the day also she cries but a bit less but still every hour probably 30-40 mins she cries. Sleeps are always 15-20 mins then crying non stop.

But at night she cries very aggressively with red face,kicking all the time while crying. Went to the hospital and they said baby is good its normal.

My friends have babies and none of them were like this when I asked. We see them enjoy with there babies, going out . We cant do anything, havent eaten proper meal in days havent slept for last 5-6 days. We feed her every 2-3 hours first breast milk, then formula milk to top it off sometimes.

My wife hasnt slept in last 2 days we both literally just cried in the bathroom and have give up. I have to go back to work in a week and not sure how will we survive.

We change her diapers regularly, rock her all the time,cuddle, skin to skin, try to burp her everything.

Can anyone help whats going on ?

I dont know what else we can do

FTM to an 11 week old who I love dearly, but I’m struggling so much with PPA and PPD. I just started Paxil a week ago, but so far it has made my anxiety worse - heart palpitations, can’t eat, sleeping too much (I’m lucky that baby sleeps well at night and husband helps a lot) and still physically exhausted all the time. I’m going back to work and baby will start daycare at 16 weeks and honestly it feels like a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I will be sad and miss him during the day, but I can’t help but feel relief at the idea of getting a break during the day and returning to some sense of normalcy and my old life. Does anyone else feel like this? Feeling like a terrible mom for even having these thoughts but I’m suffocating under the weight of mental illness right now.

Hi everyone,

Newborn here from a beautiful daughter of 12 weeks.

I've noticed over the weekend that my patience is gone when my daughter cries at night. There are times i want to throw her away into a pillow.

I know, i am ashamed of myself, and want to do the best as i can. But sometimes she cries so loud and high, i get a ringing in my ears. I've noticed my head throbs sometimes minutes after she stopped.

sometimes i also feel neglected by my partner, but he does a great job during the day and in the weekends. At night i take the shift because he has to go to work. And i dont want to burden him because of his busy job.

Do you have any tips so i can keep my patience?

my baby is nonstop scream crying with no consoling. he’s not hungry, wont sleep, doesn’t stop when i pick him up and idk what to do. i am so stressed and tired and my anxiety is killing me

I’ve been struggling lately with being my LOs pacifier.. every nap, every night, most of the night. Sometimes I’m lucky to have the bed to myself from 9-2am. Sometimes as early as midnight. But inevitably, she’s in our bed every night. Sometimes she feeds, sometimes she doesn’t.

Today, I took the rail off her crib, as if I was converting it to the toddler bed, but didn’t lower the mattress and moved it up against my side of the bed. Filled the gap between her mattress and my bed frame, and now her crib sits about 5 inches lower than my bed so I can easily tap her bum or rub her belly.

Nurse her to sleep, switched my nipple for the pacifier with success, and laid with her a few more minutes. Sit up and go to transfer her, wakes up screaming bloody blue murder. Noooothing settles her until I bring her back in my bed and put her on the boob.

Obviously my husband came in when he heard her. And for the first time, I snapped. Said I can’t do anything when she’s awake because she’s got a 10 minute chill, literally. And I can’t do anything when she’s sleeping because I always have to be next to her.. so obviously I’m laying here nursing her (literally lasts 10 seconds) ans then she just rests her head on my boob and sleeps.

And im suddenly ridden with guilt for how upset I was about her constantly needing me.. I know I should give myself grace. My husband reminds me 24/7 how good of a mom I am, and how much she loves her mommy. But I’m so torn in my feelings right now.. I’m still upset that I can never do anything.. but I feel sick with guilt for feeling that way?

And yes.. as I’m typing this, we’re snuggled in my bed with her cheek on my boob 🥹🥹

Edited to add: LO is 4.5mo

My sweet spicy baby is 5 weeks old and has colic. Cries for 8 hours a day, etc.

I’ve been doing everything I can to figure this out and at least try to relieve some of his unhappiness and discomfort. I keep being told by his pediatrician that sometimes you have to let it run its course. I’m curious for those with colicky babies - were you able to figure out the root cause or did you just have to wait it out? Trying to set realistic expectations for myself and figure out if I need to buy another pair of noise canceling headphones lol.

I (30 f) have a village to help. I have my mom and MIL (Both in their 60's) to help with my son (1 month old).

I've posted in here before saying my son has gotten better with the new formula he's on, and that's true, but he's still a baby and wants to be held by me. So that means a majority of the time, I'm sitting somewhere in the house with baby bc he will fuss until there's a bottle in his mouth or I'm holding him. There's been very few instances where he'll sit in his glider, and I can eat/do something in peace for a few minutes.

This morning was one of those times where I got to eat while my son sat in the glider until he didn't want that anymore and started fussing. I ate like 3/4th of my muffin and barely got to drink my coffee. This was at 10 am.

Then proceed to the rest of the day where he would take the bottle, eat like 1-2oz, fall asleep on me and when I try to put him down in his crib to sleep (with a fan going and in a dim room) he wakes back up 5-10 mins later and the process starts allover again.

So I've been having a hard time postpartum with depression/anxiety. Last week, I got put on Welbutrin and it has helped significantly but not totally. My mom and MIL were the ones to tell me to go to the doctor and get put on medication, they also were the ones that wanted to set a schedule to pick my son up on certain days (it's been all week last week someone had him) so I can have a break and get stuff done around the house.

Well today was my mom's day but she couldn't pick him up until 1pm so the whole morning I had my son (cue what happened this morning above). My mom finally shows up to get him (which I am VERY thankful for) and then proceeded to say that I needed to clean my floors bc they are dirty (we have cats and yes, there's cat hair on the floor). I haven't had time to fix the diaper bag bc I've been dealing with my son all morning so I had to rush to fix it once mom got here. She tells me to put him down, I tell her he fusses every time I do, I then proceeded to put him in the glider and he acts content, which then prompts my mom to say "See? He's fine."

I tell her that it's not been like this all morning and she tells me "He'll be fine whining while you do things." Then as I'm putting my son in his car seat, I start tearing up (just from general stress, the depression and all these fucking hormones), mom says I need to talk to my doctor bc I sure did act fine last week after I got put on my medication and I did snap at her and say that it takes at least 2 weeks for them to work how they're supposed to and another 4 to see any benefits.

I say goodbye to both my son and mom and then she tells me "Sometimes it doesn't feel like you love me." I then say that I do and I'll see them later.

I come back inside the house and break down. I'm home by myself, I called my husband to try and come home early and I'm trying to distract myself by doing chores, but this is so hard I feel like a failure like I can't thrive as a mom like my mom did and I feel like she's criticizing me for even wanting to hold my son so he's not crying/fussing all the time. I don't even want to call my sister and complain bc she talks to our mom and I don't want things to get more tense and rocky.

I became a SAHM bc of financial reasons (we would end up keeping less money if we sent him to daycare than just someone staying home with him and my husband makes more than I do, so...) and I'm honestly kinda regretting it (but not my son). I just don't feel supported by my own mom like I thought I would've been and now just feel even more lost in motherhood.

…aside from mere survival of course

I have so much time on my hands yet unable to finish a single thing! My days consist of tidying the house as much possible within the bounds of my little energy, sell baby clothes or items my baby has outgrown, and try to watch a show but somehow never managing to finish an episode

Wby?

I’m 9 weeks PP and I can’t stop thinking about the feeling of being in labour and giving birth. It was fucking horrible in the moment I know that but my brain has just wiped it all out and is now romanticising the feeling and I just can’t help but feel like wanting to do it all over again. I know why people go back now. My pregnancy and labour was hell and my baby went to NICU but for some reason I want to just do it again one more time. Why is this? Anyone else? It’s on my mind at least a few times a day even though I know I for sure won’t have another one for a few more years

since week 6, baby has been extremely fussy and almost impossible to get down for naps and sleep at night. week 7 has gotten much worse.

i don’t know what to do anymore i am so tired i have little patience and i feel it’s making it worse.

last night he slept from 9pm-11pm and from then till 3:30 am was inconsolable and was just fighting sleep. he woke at 6 am and the cycle just restarted. it’s now 10 am and he will go down for a few minutes and then wake back up screaming. i feel like i’ve tried everything and i feel like he hates me and im not cut out to be a mother. i can’t take it anymore. please tell me it will get better soon.

i feel like i'm the only one awake every single night while my partner sleeps and taking a good rest. and i need some help for my night shift taking a look for my newborn. someone told me a good monitor with an app might help because my partner could actually check on the baby themselves without me having to nudge them awake and narrate every little thing. like if they could see and track what's happening on their own phone.

did a baby monitor actually make a difference for anyone in terms of splitting nighttime duties more evenly? or is that just wishful thinking lol

I have a 1 month old and so far he has been so content and chilled, only cries when he is really hungry and just grumbles when we change him. He sleeps every 3 hours at bedtime and settles pretty quickly after he has been fed.

I am hoping this continues!

Or am I wishful thinking? Haha

How long did it take your LO to stop crying when laying down awake for naps?

I’m not complaining! I’m glad she’s a good eater. She’s progressively increased her intake as she’s grown. She is breast and bottle fed. She’s having 7oz per bottle now but for the last 2 weeks before bed she will down 12oz and then will nurse for another 10 minutes. It’s WILD! She has no signs of discomfort and spit up is minimal. I just don’t understand! My milk has changed, it’s fattier and separates in the fridge so I know she’s getting “the good stuff”. It is just so crazy that such a tiny package demands so much milk every night!

My LO has been crying bloody murder each time I offered her the breast today. Until last night she BF multiple times.

For context we have to supplement her with formula so we offer the occasional bottle. But I breastfeed every chance I get and my supply has finally increased to keep up with her demands.

I feel absolutely devastated about this sudden shift. I have offered her breast each time she was calm and rooting today and she would absolutely lose it and start crying loudly until a bottle wasn’t offered.

I have no clue what changed overnight.

I have a one week old who for the past two nights has been eating like crazy and will not lay down for anything. Tonight has so far been the worst of it. Ate for 40 minutes twice within an hour of each other. We put him down and he went to sleep until his next feed at 2.5 hours. He just finished eating 40 minutes ago. He just finished a 10 minute so far making them an hour apart again. Is sleep anywhere in my future? I genuinely don’t know what to do except hold him because he go in his bassinet without screaming. Everyone say sleep when he does but he never sleeps at night and this week has been so chaotic with learning to feed and having pestering visitors 😫

What do I do?

We’ve switched to powder formula, I’m really confused and in need of help.

For our baby’s age/weight he needs about 150ml of formula. So following the guide on the tin we add 5 scoops as it’s 1 scoop per 30ml of water.

We were recommended the Tommee Tippee bottle prep. It goes by ounces so the closest option is 5oz which is about 142ml.

We add the scoops of powder in the bottle, use the machine to add the water but once the two are mixed it measures at 160ml…. I’ve tested the machine without adding powder in the bottle and the water is between the 140ml and 150ml mark.

To make the bottle am I supposed to be adding 150ml/5oz of water to the powder OR am I supposed to be adding less than 150ml/5oz of water so that the amount of water plus powder comes to 150ml in total?