r/moraldilemmas

My story is simple, yet complicated. I’m a freelance writer and I have five books published on Amazon. I became friends with a critic who has written many books and whose opinion is highly regarded in literature and film. He read one of my books and sent me his personal review by email, which was very positive. However, to protect his privacy, I can’t make it public—and also because I still have principles and don’t want to use my friend to become famous, at least not without his consent.

Everyone calls him the most horrible man in existence. And...sure. maybe they're right. But...that just doesnt sit well with me. He wasnt born evil. He was made evil.

And by fantasizing us killing him during the war or when he was a child...? That just makes us as evil as him.

I know that if I could go back in time Id do something. Something good. Something for the better. Id try to talk to him...Id try to talk any kind of sense into what hes doing. He knows its wrong. I know its wrong. We all know its wrong. And...if I could just make him see that? He'll come back. He'll snap out of it and become a better person. He wouldn't push his loved ones away - his friends. Even his family. Those things make us whole. They make us who we are.

Is it that wrong I used to sniff my Mom's thongs??

Back when I was a horny fuked up teen I pretty much did as the title says, on and off for a few years. It started out of curiosity and then became a staple mastabation aid. This was in the late 90's early 2000s so internet porn wasn't really widely available. I'd wait for her to get changed after work, sneak in her room to rummage threw her hamper to see if she'd left one there. Basically take them to my room and mastabate sniffing them. I wasn't sexually attracted to her, or fantasised about having sex with her. She did have a very cute, quite large round ass that I did find very attractive. I was also fascinated that she had started wearing thongs like a lot of the girls in my class. I suppose I found it hot thinking this thin strap had been flossing her butt cheeks all day. Not trolling here and this is all true. I suppose I wonder on other's thoughts on this. Sometimes I feel guilty about it. Other times I think well it happened and not much I can do about it.

This is a bit awkward but i need outside opinions

i’ve been thinking about having a threes*me with two guys, but i don’t want it to be with people i already know

So my best friend said she could arrange it through a paid service (like connecting me with two guys), but i’m honestly unsure if that’s safe or a bad idea

my main concerns are std risks, safety in general (meeting strangers through a third party), how trustworthy these setups actually are

Part of me is curious, but another part of me feels like this could go wrong very easily if you’re not careful. Has anyone here ever dealt with something like this or know what the safest way to even think about this is? What should i do?

Arguing that if you are always truly yourself, and a person decides to leave your life it means it was not a friend in the first place.

True friends are unapologetically theirselves.

If you are truly yourself you can’t lose any friends.

Is this a boundary violation? They said no. Is what I did forcing my sibling to reassure me? I’m just so worried that they will overhear me and it will traumatize them, so I wanted to ask if they heard me and my mom talking.

I just asked ‘hey did you hear me and mom on the phone?’ Since my sibling thinks I’m avoiding them. Which I am, but I’ve managed to pass it off as general anxiety.

One time my mom told me something about how my sibling thinks I’m avoiding them, so I made my mom go ask them why they think I was being anxious. Because I don’t want them to know about my OCD, and if they do I want to make sure they’re supported.

I don’t want anything bad to happen to my sibling and I want them to not think or know about any of my problems.

I’m planning on moving out soon, I’m too afraid of hurting anyone. Is this like a parent with OCD forcing their kid to listen to their problems to make them feel better? My parents used to come to me asking ‘am I a bad parent?’ All the time, And it put a burden on me. I don’t want to do that. Have I already done that?

This is not a Question on whether or not what they done is acceptable (because its not), but whether they can be forgiven. I was reading/watching some confessions and one came up with a guy who had committed rape, and was basically talking about all the good he's done to redeem himself and how he deserves forgiveness to some degree. And it made me think is there an acceptable level of repentance for people who have done these vile crimes. So I thought I'd get a wider audience for their input and thoughts of this question. Personally, I believe there is no acceptable level of redemption for these people to be forgiven, but what do you lot think?

This story has been messing with me all day. Drop a number.

Okay so I came across this psychological test a while back and I've been thinking about it ever since. The interesting part isn't really the "right" answer, it's how differently people react to the same five characters.

Here's the story:

Sarah is in love with Patrick. He lives across a river full of crocodiles. They've been apart for months and she decides she needs to see him.

She finds a guy with a boat, Tom. He'll take her across, but only if she pays him. She doesn't have money.

She goes to her close friend Rim and asks to borrow some. Rim says no. Calls the whole thing irrational. Not worth the risk.

Desperate now, Sarah runs into Gazi. He's got a reputation. He offers to get her across safely, but only if she spends the night with him.

She says no at first.

Then she says yes.

He gets her across.

She finds Patrick and tells him everything, honestly. He looks at her and rejects her on the spot. Says she betrayed him. That's it.

She leaves.

On the way back, Gazi finds her again and says: "They all used you. Come with me. I'll take care of you."

That's the whole thing.

Who's the worst person in this story?

1. Sarah
2. Tom
3. Rim
4. Gazi
5. Patrick

Just drop the number. Brief why if you want, no pressure.

It's been years since I have loved my wife. I still provide, support emotionaly, and I'm faithful to, but there are things that we cannot overcome anymore I think. I'm not going to get into you all over the grimey details. There's obviously a lot of hurt, betrayal, and other backstory, but I'm not here for a counseling session or for a fix of the marriage. My dilemma is I have a very strong set of principles that I live my life by, one of them being loyalty. I made a vow to be with her for the rest of my life, in good or bad. and so I feel like if I left and filed for divorce I would be breaking that commitment and breaking my word to her. So which would be worse? Filing for divorce and leaving someone that I committed my life too? Or staying in a relationship where we're both miserable at this point, solely on principle.

When I was 13 I did something pretty bad. Alot of my friends and family have taken my side but I lost a few friends and one of them is bullying and harassing me online. They basically keep insinuating i shouldn't be showing my face after what I did 8 years ago. I should have a trigger warning coming along with me whenever I show my face online maybe even in public. Is what they are doing as revenge and punishment for what I did justified and should I shun myself?

I was in a relationship with a woman for five months, during which two incidents occurred that plague my mind on a daily basis.

The first incident happened about a month into our relationship. We were kissing and doing some light sexual stuff with each other. I playfully started touching her boobs, to which she asked me to stop. I completley misread her tone as playful and continued for about 30 seconds, during which she kept saying stop. I suddenly felt unsure and I asked if she was saying no seriously and she said yes she was so I immediately stopped and I apologised to her profusely.

The second incident occurred about two months later. I made her finish with a vibrator (consentually), after which I asked her if she would perform oral sex on me, to which she said no because she was her jaw would lock in place (apparently this had happened before, which she neglected to tell me). I accepted her answer, though I did ask if she could perhaps pick my penis, to which she also said no. Once again I accepted her answer and we started cuddling with each other.

I was admittedly a bit disappointed and she could tell something wasnt right with me, so she asked if I was okay, to which I said that I was fine. She kept asking so eventually I told her the truth that I was a bit disappointed, to which she was unhappy at the answer. I asked her if it was okay if I masturbated in front of her, to which she said "you dont have to cum every time" to which I responded "yes I understand that, but is it okay if I do it this time?". She repeated what she said and so did I, as I wasn't catching the hint, I just wanted a direct yes or no. She said yes it was okay for me to do that, so I masturbated while she watched me. After I went home she messaged me saying that she felt pressured to say yes to me, even though I didn't feel like I had pressured her at all and had no intention of doing so, I simply wanted a direct yes or no.

After our relationship ended (for unrelated reasons; she was quite controlling and I was burnt out) she messaged me saying she was going to tell the police and my job that I raped/attempted to rape her (it varied message by message) and repeatedly called me a rapist. I know I am not a rapist but I dont know if I committed sexual assault, as I thought things were consentual while they were occurring. I suffer a lot of mental health problems from that relationship, a lot of it from these two incidents.

I told these things to my therapist and she contacted a police advisory line, they said I didnt seem to have done anything wrong legally speaking, which did help somewhat, but I still feel a lot of uncertainty around everything.

Do you feel I committed sexual assault?

My friend from high-school is now currently studying abroad in university within exchange study Phd program financed by the state government. Since he moved there, he started doing drugs all the time and even putting it publicly out on social media going full delusional mode thinking he is interesting and people are interested in his drama and shenanigans, laughing how he is high all the time. On top of that, he spends all that money given to him by the state on drugs and overspending on fancy meals, electronics etc., which leaves him begging for money to his family, or even me (he tried once but I was very firm with him I wont give him anything). He is 35 by the way, so old enough to not act like a teenage skank.

I tried to tell him many times to stop with drugs, to finally live like a normal person, to put himself together, but he just thinks all that is funny. I stopped contacting him and we barely speak now. What still bothers me the most is him publicly putting out on social media he is doing drugs and he is all the time high on coke, while he is receiving government money we, citizens pay as taxes!

I have a dilemma if to write an email to his university to point out this behaviour (since he is employed there as PhD), and to point out how the state money is spent for drugs basically. Or to let it be since he is my friend and I don't want to cause him harm, and let life deal with him on its own.

The situation is like this she talked me into buying a car random fact I had a dream saying don’t get the car and when I said nvm I don’t want it they said this car was a gift from god it cost $800, $69ish to get the initial notary to sign off on it. The car ended up having way more issues than originally said one it didn’t drive and it had 155k miles when I was told it only had 70kish fixing it took about like 4 or 5 months. She helped me pay something on it but I think I forked out another about $1000 on it. Now during that time my aunt got in trouble for stealing money at her job and now has to pay fines since they hyped up me buying the lemon I let them go through finding someone to fix it and the person rarely came when I was off so I let her keep the keys and the paper so it wouldn’t get messed up. Also during that time I never got the car registered into my name didn’t make sense to get insurance on a broken car at one point thought the engine was bad turns out need injectors and some other engine stuff plus the other stuff.

When I finally get ready to register it she has lost the title and registration and bill of sale. So we go through the entire process of reaching out to the old owner to get a new title and registration etc since it had been months they added some fines and it cost $700 I only had $100 she put $500 with it. She asked me when I would pay her back cause she has to pay so much money soon or she’ll go to jail. I plan to pay her back but I also have to pay $1700 in June for something or I’ll lose my house.

What would you do in this situation they talked you into buying the car, lost the paperwork and she shouldn’t have been stealing money from her job anyway and lied and said they gave you the paperwork when they didn’t I try and avoid conflict but my job has also cut my hours and it’ll be extremely hard to pay the $1700 to keep my house from being lost if I pay her back her money.

My dad said I should have just registered the car it’s his sister so he gonna defend her but paying insurance on a broken car seemed stupid.

I am looking for some advice. It is a bit of a long story but feel like I should provide some context.

Earlier this year, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He is healthy, happy and very much loved by me and my family. When he was conceived I was living in a different state and fell pregnant after a one night stand. I met the guy on Tinder and he came across as a really nice, family-orientated guy. He was a single dad with two kids that claimed he had a respectful relationship with his ex-partner but was looking for something serious. We spoke over messages quite a lot and I felt like I got to know him quite well. We were supposed to meet up in my town (he lived 1.5 hours away) on the weekend but one Thursday afternoon he asked if he could come and see me. Usually I would wait until the weekend, where we had plans to go out to an event, but I had a really good feeling about him so said to come and have dinner. When he arrived at my house, he wasn't the guy I had made him out to be in my mind. He was a bit cold and awkward. When he came inside he hugged me and kissed me on the lips straight away. I felt like because we had spoken a fair bit over messages it was this weird situation where we were supposed to hit it off but that just wasn't coming naturally. Anyway, one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together. He asked if I was on birth control and I said no, make sure you don't come inside me (yes I know this is not an effective method of contraception- now 😅). That broke the ice a bit and we ended up staying up late chatting. I was a bit confused about how I felt the next morning. He traveled back home for work. We exchanged a few messages but I felt like we weren't that keen on each other. I asked if he still planned to come to my town on the weekend and he said yes. When it came to the day I text him and he ghosted me and we didn't speak again.

Five weeks later I realised I was pregnant which was a huge shock. I have always wondered what I would do in that situation and started thinking about my options. I felt that the right thing to do was contact him and discuss it. I wouldn't have chosen to have an abortion but if that is what he wanted I would have considered it. When I contacted him to speak over the phone he asked what it was about and I messaged him that I was pregnant. We made a time to talk over the phone. I tried to call and he essentially never got back to me and I haven't heard from him since. I made the decision to keep the baby. I felt connected to the baby even though I was a bit unsure about doing things alone. My family are very supportive and I made the decision to move back to my home state so I had the help of them and my friends.

I am really glad I made the decision I did. I love my little boy. I have bought a house here in a nice little country town and my Dad is fixing it up for me. Having him has changed the way I think in a million different ways and I am excited for our life together.

I do have this moral dilemma.. I was watching a TV show the other day about people that are mostly adopted tracking down family members and it made me feel a bit sad for my son. I plan on being open and honest with him about his Dad and keeping the way I speak of him positive. I am wondering if I should inform the Dad that he has a son? Even though I tried to discuss this with him back at the beginning and he chose to not get back to me. As he already has two children, I think maybe he was worried about having to pay child-support for another one or his life getting messier. I don't want anything from him. I just want what is best for my son.

I would like the father to be aware incase my son wants to get in touch and meet him down the track which is likely. However, I worry that informing him could open a can of worms. I don't know this person well and from what he has shown me so far he is not the most responsible or kind-hearted person. I personally couldn't live with not knowing whether I have another child out there or not. I didn't put his name on my son's birth certificate. I also worry that if I tell him now, maybe he would want to see him and it would mean having to travel interstate and allow a person I don't know well to have access to my child.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Recently watched a video where a pedestrian decided to step in front of a speeding motorcyclist’s path which made them swerve out of the way. The motorcyclist lost control and drove into the guardrails which led to the cyclist’s death.

My question here is should the pedestrian have stepped in the way of the motorcyclist? Given that his involvement in the chase caused the death of the one being chased. On the other hand, the cyclist was at a speed where loss of control was highly likely, he could have killed someone throughout the chase.

What are everyone’s thoughts?

36F here. I have been with my partner for 13-14 years, including a decade of marriage. Posting here with the hope to hear some real life experiences.

I found out a few weeks back that he was cheating on me for almost a year. Because I figured out, he came clean. Of course, all hell broke loose and he realised what he had actually done after he saw the state I was in. He claims that all he has been feeling since I found out is remorse and guilt. He is also working with his therapist to figure out the whys of this.

My dilemma here is if I should forgive him and give him a chance? To rebuild the trust will take years. Plus I feel deeply disrespected and betrayed by what he has done. To treat me like an option and choosing someone else over me every single day, is something that is unbearably painful. I donno if I will be able to 100 percent trust him again. Has anyone been able to do so?

So this kinda messed with my head and I don’t know if I’m overreacting or not.

I (20M) played in a club final yesterday. Big deal for me we worked hard to get there. My best friend (also 20M) was on the opposing team. We’ve been close since we were like 8, so yeah… already a weird situation.

Now here’s where it gets more complicated he’s been dating my sister (19F) for about 4 months. When I first found out, I won’t lie, I was shocked and a bit pissed. But I care about both of them, so I let it go and tried to be cool with it.

Yesterday, I thought for once my sister might show up to support me. She usually doesn’t even come to my matches. But she did come… just not for me.

She showed up to support his team.

I didn’t say anything at the time, but that honestly hit harder than I expected. Like yeah, I get it, that’s her boyfriend. But I’m her brother. And it’s not like I’m playing random games every day it was a final.

And to top it off, his team won. So I’m already feeling like shit about the loss, and then that whole thing is just sitting in my head.

I don’t even know if I have the right to be upset or if I’m just being petty. I haven’t brought it up to either of them yet.

Am I overthinking this or is it fair to feel kinda hurt

I have an older brother who's 23. Even though he's older, he sometimes doesn't think clearly or do things right. He's been with his girlfriend for five years, but he told me a secret. When he was in high school, there was a girl who was in love with him, even though they only spoke for a few months. A year later, he told me he can't stop thinking about her, even though they lost touch. He dreams about her, thinks about her, and sometimes thinks he should be with her. He's asking me for advice. I don't know what to think; he says he thinks about this other person involuntarily, so to speak. What advice would you give him? I don't know whether to talk to his girlfriend or let him figure it out himself.

P.S.: He's been thinking about this girl for over three years WITHOUT ANY CONTACT.

I just noticed I have packed my top and shorts for sports afternoon but forgot my sports shoes.

If I tell the teacher I will have to participate barefoot which I don't really want to do as it's about 2 hours in the gym hall.

Or I could say I forgot my whole kit and get to sit out, although I don't want to lie.

I'm leaning on being honest but what is the best option? I am 17f

Today I was worried I was secretly racist and antisemitic, yesterday I was worried I was a criminal, the day before that I was worried about secretly being in love with a family member and not consciously knowing about it— for two weeks I was so worried about germs I used it multiple times a day to make sure the germs wouldn’t get me. I would stop because I know using ai, especially to that extent is bad. But I panic and I cry if I don’t know something. It gets so bad, if I don’t have an answer to my very specific situation, I just lay in bed and think about it for hours and hours and don’t go outside of my room for days.

I used to use ai for fun until someone told me that warmer countries were literally going to run out of water last month, so I stopped using it for anything I didn’t feel like I would die without.

Except for one night where I was preparing to either take my own life or run away off the grid and decided that it wouldn’t be that harmful if it was my last carbon footprint, or at least my last carbon footprint for a long time.

I spent that night mostly watching tv or doing whatever I found fun, and then decided to ask funny questions/ ask for jokes for like 40 minutes (I set a timer so that if the whole thing about one prompt= 9 seconds of TV is true, I’d just have to figure out how much TV that would equal and not watch TV for however long that would be whenever I want to watch TV)

You could imagine my surprise when I ended up being told that I was expected to go to an appointment in the morning. So I had to call my death/ running away off. Which made me feel pretty stupid, especially since I had already packed my stuff and eaten my last meal. So I’ve decided that if I plan on ending it again, I already took my last recreational carbon footprint. Also I fell asleep instead of staying up like I planned that night, so I did make up for the 9x40 thing by atleast twice the amount.

Anyways, I would really like to know what I should do about this problem because I’m very guilty and want to be better. Or if I deserve to be guilty and should continue feeling guilty. Or if guilt even serves a purpose if it just renews this cycle over and over again.