I dont know if I committed sexual assault accidentally
I was in a relationship with a woman for five months, during which two incidents occurred that plague my mind on a daily basis.
The first incident happened about a month into our relationship. We were kissing and doing some light sexual stuff with each other. I playfully started touching her boobs, to which she asked me to stop. I completley misread her tone as playful and continued for about 30 seconds, during which she kept saying stop. I suddenly felt unsure and I asked if she was saying no seriously and she said yes she was so I immediately stopped and I apologised to her profusely.
The second incident occurred about two months later. I made her finish with a vibrator (consentually), after which I asked her if she would perform oral sex on me, to which she said no because she was her jaw would lock in place (apparently this had happened before, which she neglected to tell me). I accepted her answer, though I did ask if she could perhaps pick my penis, to which she also said no. Once again I accepted her answer and we started cuddling with each other.
I was admittedly a bit disappointed and she could tell something wasnt right with me, so she asked if I was okay, to which I said that I was fine. She kept asking so eventually I told her the truth that I was a bit disappointed, to which she was unhappy at the answer. I asked her if it was okay if I masturbated in front of her, to which she said "you dont have to cum every time" to which I responded "yes I understand that, but is it okay if I do it this time?". She repeated what she said and so did I, as I wasn't catching the hint, I just wanted a direct yes or no. She said yes it was okay for me to do that, so I masturbated while she watched me. After I went home she messaged me saying that she felt pressured to say yes to me, even though I didn't feel like I had pressured her at all and had no intention of doing so, I simply wanted a direct yes or no.
After our relationship ended (for unrelated reasons; she was quite controlling and I was burnt out) she messaged me saying she was going to tell the police and my job that I raped/attempted to rape her (it varied message by message) and repeatedly called me a rapist. I know I am not a rapist but I dont know if I committed sexual assault, as I thought things were consentual while they were occurring. I suffer a lot of mental health problems from that relationship, a lot of it from these two incidents.
I told these things to my therapist and she contacted a police advisory line, they said I didnt seem to have done anything wrong legally speaking, which did help somewhat, but I still feel a lot of uncertainty around everything.
Do you feel I committed sexual assault?