Does your household track who contributes what — not just money but time, labor, career tradeoffs? Or do you just trust it'll even out? how can we prevent financial adultery by one irresponsible partner?
So I have always worked 50+ hours a week to support our family. I have at times worked 3 low paying jobs to afford basic needs for us. In the last 2 years I have only worked one job m-f 50 hours a week. The neighbor is a better husband/father because he is able to be at pickup with his wife daily. He doesn't cook, clean, do ourside choirs and never takes his kids anywhere by himself. I have do all of those things pretty regularly even tho I work 10 more hours a week than him. I am not at pickup often. Her best friends husband is better because he makes more money then me working 60+ hours a week but is never really in the state due to work. She says it shouldn't matter that she said that because she noticed in the last year that they aren't as great as she thought. She saying im the asshole for evening being upset that she told me this at my birthday get together yesterday.
I’ve been with my husband for 4 years and married for 2.5. About a year and a half into our marriage, I found out he had a fake TikTok account where he was watching inappropriate content. When I confronted him, he slapped me. He later apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again.
About a year later, I caught him again,this time with a fake Instagram account and regularly watching porn. This really hurt, especially because our own intimacy had dropped to zero, even though I was trying and asking for it.
Now it’s happened again, and he’s begging for forgiveness. But I don’t trust his apologies anymore. Being around him makes me feel angry and suffocated. I loved him deeply and trusted him completely, which makes all of this even more painful.
I don’t want to rush into divorce because of family reasons, but at the same time, I can’t stand being around him. I don’t even want to look at him right now. What confuses me is that when he’s away, I still miss him.
Please guide this poor soul. I am so lost. Thanks 🤗
His daughter, my step daughter is 7 years. Hated washing her hair so occasionally he will check on her and make sure she washing her hair, but he looks in on her in shower like opens the curtains and looks. I know its not creepy and there's been times where his daughter has felt uncomfortable like hes fallen asleep with her on his lap and his hand was on her thigh, he was asleep and didnt realize so I put some longer pants on her and moved his hand. But I told him that he needs to stop checking on her like that, and if anything to come get me to check and make sure she washes her hair. She told me today that dad looked at the soap in my hair yo make sure. He will go to the bathroom while shes in there showering and I find it weird. Im told him he should wait shes getting older and doesnt need her dad in there going to the bathroom or checking on her while she showers. He said its not weird and gets defensive about it, saying its not that big of deal. I think it is. Am I wrong for feeling this way. Is that normal?
Ive been married to my husband for about 4 years now. Tldr; I cheated with someone for a year. I had reasons but none of that matters. Throughout my “affair” I knew what I was doing and that it was wrong. I hated every bit of it. Felt the guilt every day, everywhere. While it grew, it also came to an end pretty fast. I realized in a painful way but throughout the realizations I finally decided enough is enough. I made it clear that I can’t do this to my husband and I can’t marry you either. So I’m ending this now. And I ended it much before my husband found out. My chats were still there and there’s evidence of me blocking, ignoring etc. I have realized my mistakes and am willing to suffer the consequences. I made a point to hide everything so it wouldn’t hurt him as long as I have moved on and will repent for my sins and be a better wife. I had my own mental challenges since before my marriage. Again, tldr he read my older messages and now is fueled with anger and emotions. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting this. But I wanted him to know, I am willing to do anything, give up everything and anything he wants me to do because I care about rebuilding the trust that I fucked over. It ended before. But I need to prove my intentions. And again. I want this marriage to work. And will do anything to fix it. Please give advice.
Ive been married for 2 years to a nice guy that I plan on being with forever. And i work at the call center with a credit union, and I work from home, it’s super nice!
Anyway, I was moved to a different team (its after an evaluation period and they make small rearrangements usually), and someone on this team is SO cute. They are my classic type, but they also just have a really refreshing work attitude. Would I ever pursue it? Hell no! I love my husband! Does this random other person that I don’t know well at all make my heart race? Yes. Butterflies? Yes. Do I sometimes stare at him during our team meetings? Yes. But am I a bad person? Or like…how do I understand this??
My marriage is also doing pretty well. We fight sometimes but we resolve conflict and communicate well. But we also both have sort of settled into our home lives and don’t “do” much in the way of dates and activities. But we’re also saving up.
Help me, internet strangers!
I know having fantasies is normal, I'm very happily married but I'm wondering if I'm the only wife that fantasizes about this..... wearing a skimpy dress and nothing under it and being bent over looking under the hood or bent over in the trunk and ending up free used by anyone who sees me. Is this normal or am I messed up? Mid 40's by the way
my husband and i are both young but we started dating in high school so we’ve been together seven years.
I havent felt hot and steamy for him in like a year. we got married a little less than a year ago. honestly, it might be longer since ive felt that way for him. hard to know when it stopped, it just did.
we are both out of shape, so that is probably a big part of it. I look at myself in the mirror and don’t FEEL attractive so maybe he just doesn’t see me as attractive either but he never flirts with me and it stings. the most is like an ass smack probably once daily.
he hasn’t for years flirted with me, and I thought I was okay with this since he is so great in so many other ways. but it’s really killing our bedroom life and I’ve been watching more romance movies and dumb shit to get my fill of someone flirting.
i tease and try to flirt a lot and he is just so non chalant about it. not doing it back, just accepting the flirting and then moving on to something else.
id say we average sex once a week which I feel like is pretty low for a young couple. now that im thinking about it, im pretty sure I’ve been the one initiating it in the last couple months. what a shit realization.
i dont think there’s another person, before anyone asks. he works with all guys and his phone is clean (i dont search it, but he’s super open with his phone and im on it sometimes randomly). he also has no girl friends other than his buddies girlfriends.
I have brought this up before btw, at least two times in two different ways. one way was in a joking way, to breach the subject lightly and nothing came from it other than a “oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize, I will try to flirt with u more“ but it didn’t happen. then another time I brought it up in a vulnerable moment with him when I was having a hard body image day and I was crying about wanting my old body back and I said that I feel like he isn’t attracted to me anymore and it’s evident in the way he no longer flirts. his answer was like the same as before and he added that he is still attracted to me. but it really doesn’t feel that way to me.
I know I need to lose weight, i really do know. I am having a hard time with my mental health and it’s stoppping me from taking care of myself in certain ways but I’m going to really work on that.
I still get ready and nice every single day. I enjoy makeup, so I apply everyday casual makeup. I do my hair nicely, casual styles. not raggedy.
im always looking for new clothes that will suit my body well. so I feel like I am trying with my appearance.
is there anything any guy has an opinion on in this? are there any women who have dealt with this?
anything helps, I know I need to lose weight, I will do that. but in the meantime, is there anyway to get our spark back or just get him to see me again like that?
I can’t keep watching romance shows and movies and making up fake scenarios in my head. I want a flirty fun marriage.
please lmk. thanks.
I got married 1 month back. I do a lot of sex with my wife and she's satisfied. But I love watching porn and masturbation sometimes. Why my wife doesn't like it even if i maintain a good sex life with her?
When everybody tells you happy birthday right in front of him and hes still yet to wish me a happy birthday😪
Hi! Me and my husband have been together for 6 years now and married for one year. Once we got married it is as if my husbands nit pickiness skyrocketed. He claims I am sensitive, but I think it’s a bigger deal and I shouldn’t just deal with it. The nitpickiness includes name calling. He used to call me stupid and ask me “are you stupid?” When I said something he didn’t agree with or thought was wrong. I told him if he kept doing that I’d end things so he stopped.. but he says it in other ways..
once we got married he has to nitpick all actions I do. I make him breakfast, lunch and dinner. I also work but he works a full time job and I’m part time. But if I ever don’t make him breakfast or pack him his lunch he’s frustrated with me and says “that’s your job” because you do nothing all day until work. He always uses my free time against me and says “I do nothing all day” if I don’t do laundry when he thinks I should he uses it against me. If I’ve ever left dishes in the sink on my way to work he says I have no time management skills and am just being lazy. He doesn’t believe I was rushing to get to work.
Other nitpicky comments:
-He says that I don’t close the toothpaste all the way and that’s just lazy.
-He says it Proves how lazy I am because the bathroom cabinet is not closed all the way sometimes (which I think it bounces after closing sometimes).
-That I obviously don’t know how to cook and clean so I make things way worse for him to clean up after I cook. Because I don’t cook and clean at the same time. He usually does dishes only after dinner.
- That I don’t even know how to keep the counters clean while cooking and it’s his pet peeve (he always has to lead a nitpick with “my biggest pet peeve is when you do this”)
-That I do a lot of bot things and things that make no sense that are inefficient and so he’s just telling me so I don’t forget In the future
-That I’m just sensitive and can’t handle him saying one thing to me even though he should be able to tell me because I don’t do things in a way that makes any sense because I’m always a “bot”
- that most things I do have no logic and he’s right most of the time
- That I don’t know how to put away dishes correctly so it makes it way harder for him
The comments below were all in one day:
-That there is no way I can’t notice a tea bag wrapper isn’t put away in the garbage, that makes no sense (he argued with me that I didn’t do it on accident and said I purposely didn’t throw it away cause I do lazy things like that)
- That I’m just lazy and sit on my phone instead of depositing my work check so if he didn’t do anything it would be there for days and never get deposited. That I don’t even have the bank app on my phone and don’t even know my information, he has to do everything for me or Nothing would get done (even though I have the bank app and deposit my own checks most of the time..)
- he’s lectured me probably 5 times about wasting Leftovers but he says I have to eat them and not him bc that’s my job
- I told him he can no longer call me lazy.. his argument was that Most of what I do gives lazy vibes cause I’m doing nothing all day so I should be able to get stuff done right away and not wait around
-That it’s my problem for being offended at his ocd and it shouldn’t be that hard to do it his way
-that if I actually loved him I would change how I did things around the house that I know bug him
Mind you here is what bugs him:
- I open the shower curtain in the wrong direction
- I don’t flush the toilet correct bc I don’t hold it for 2 seconds so I might clog it (he has listens to me flushing and gets mad at me if it sounds “too soft”)
- I fold his socks wrong and hang up his shorts wrong
- I take no accountability bc I won’t admit I don’t throw away a wrapper on purpose because he won’t believe it’s being forgetful
- I push the bed sheets down when I sleep and it bugs him
- I hang his towel up on the wrong rack bc the other dries better I guess?
- I pee in the wrong position (just lean forward cause it makes my injured back feel better lol)
- I take my clothes off wrong bc they are inside out sometimes when I take them off (this had been a fight for a few years)
- he always comments on something I’m cooking rather than being appreciate (he says “this would’ve been better with this sauce” or “wow that does not seem like a good combo” or that’s too much avocado” instead of being grateful I make him food)
- I have no right to complain about work or say I’m tired because he works more than me
- that I’m too negative for bringing up a problem at work 3 times and he is tired of hearing it
Basically it feels like anything I do it’s wrong… he makes multiple comments a day and hasn’t gotten better since I get on him so much about his comments
But he said “you shouldn’t be offended by 1 comment a day, that’s way better”
Anyways I want to go to counseling but idk if I’m just being sensitive and maybe I need to not care if he makes a correction or comment. I just always feel gaslit about my feelings by him so I’m confused.
I have a scenario question:
You work 9-6pm. Your wife/girlfriend works 9-5pm. She works out in the morning for convenience. You have the option to workout before work or after work.
Working out before work means you get to spend 6:30-10pm with her. Going after means you get to spend 8:30-10pm with her. 1.5 hours. She expresses she wants you to go in the morning with her so you can spend more time together in the evening. You dont like working out in the mornings bc you like to sleep in, but it would open more time with your wife/girlfriend.
What would you choose?
My husband and I had a thought of changing the old guest couch at the veranda. He showed me this patio furniture he’s been wanting for a while and ngl I was not feeling it at all.
The painting was too dull, and the woodwork was a little fragile. Then he told me the price and I was like nahh you can't be serious 😂. it sounded way too expensive for something I didn’t even like.
But somehow this man convinced me.
We simply ordered it online, between Amazon and Alibaba, I did not even bother to follow up on that aspect since I was still a bit angry.
Now jump ahead to the time when it came, and we pitched it on the veranda.
This couch started acting different 😭.
Like it unlocked a whole new vibe I didn’t even see coming. And my neighbor?? Always leaving compliments each and every time they see it. My husband would always smile seeing me enjoying the compliments.
To think I was against the idea of getting it, is actually funny.
Tbh I did not rate it at first, I just went along because I have seen such setups in movies and believed that maybe it will be nice. But now?
No regrets fr. Although the cost still hurts me small, it was worth it anyway.