Newly weds and already lost excitement
my husband and i are both young but we started dating in high school so we’ve been together seven years.
I havent felt hot and steamy for him in like a year. we got married a little less than a year ago. honestly, it might be longer since ive felt that way for him. hard to know when it stopped, it just did.
we are both out of shape, so that is probably a big part of it. I look at myself in the mirror and don’t FEEL attractive so maybe he just doesn’t see me as attractive either but he never flirts with me and it stings. the most is like an ass smack probably once daily.
he hasn’t for years flirted with me, and I thought I was okay with this since he is so great in so many other ways. but it’s really killing our bedroom life and I’ve been watching more romance movies and dumb shit to get my fill of someone flirting.
i tease and try to flirt a lot and he is just so non chalant about it. not doing it back, just accepting the flirting and then moving on to something else.
id say we average sex once a week which I feel like is pretty low for a young couple. now that im thinking about it, im pretty sure I’ve been the one initiating it in the last couple months. what a shit realization.
i dont think there’s another person, before anyone asks. he works with all guys and his phone is clean (i dont search it, but he’s super open with his phone and im on it sometimes randomly). he also has no girl friends other than his buddies girlfriends.
I have brought this up before btw, at least two times in two different ways. one way was in a joking way, to breach the subject lightly and nothing came from it other than a “oh I’m sorry I didn’t realize, I will try to flirt with u more“ but it didn’t happen. then another time I brought it up in a vulnerable moment with him when I was having a hard body image day and I was crying about wanting my old body back and I said that I feel like he isn’t attracted to me anymore and it’s evident in the way he no longer flirts. his answer was like the same as before and he added that he is still attracted to me. but it really doesn’t feel that way to me.
I know I need to lose weight, i really do know. I am having a hard time with my mental health and it’s stoppping me from taking care of myself in certain ways but I’m going to really work on that.
I still get ready and nice every single day. I enjoy makeup, so I apply everyday casual makeup. I do my hair nicely, casual styles. not raggedy.
im always looking for new clothes that will suit my body well. so I feel like I am trying with my appearance.
is there anything any guy has an opinion on in this? are there any women who have dealt with this?
anything helps, I know I need to lose weight, I will do that. but in the meantime, is there anyway to get our spark back or just get him to see me again like that?
I can’t keep watching romance shows and movies and making up fake scenarios in my head. I want a flirty fun marriage.
please lmk. thanks.