Cheated. Repented. Now I don’t know what to do.
Ive been married to my husband for about 4 years now. Tldr; I cheated with someone for a year. I had reasons but none of that matters. Throughout my “affair” I knew what I was doing and that it was wrong. I hated every bit of it. Felt the guilt every day, everywhere. While it grew, it also came to an end pretty fast. I realized in a painful way but throughout the realizations I finally decided enough is enough. I made it clear that I can’t do this to my husband and I can’t marry you either. So I’m ending this now. And I ended it much before my husband found out. My chats were still there and there’s evidence of me blocking, ignoring etc. I have realized my mistakes and am willing to suffer the consequences. I made a point to hide everything so it wouldn’t hurt him as long as I have moved on and will repent for my sins and be a better wife. I had my own mental challenges since before my marriage. Again, tldr he read my older messages and now is fueled with anger and emotions. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting this. But I wanted him to know, I am willing to do anything, give up everything and anything he wants me to do because I care about rebuilding the trust that I fucked over. It ended before. But I need to prove my intentions. And again. I want this marriage to work. And will do anything to fix it. Please give advice.