r/enfj

I believe bluegrass picker Billy Strings is a very interesting example of an ENFJ male.

My husband and I are huge fans of his music and him if I’m honest.

He’s done several interviews and expressed a lot of trauma from his past and outlook on life which led me to believe he is an ENFJ. Also the actions he actually takes such as giving every child in his old hometown a guitar, completely refunding an entire festival because he had to leave for the birth of his son, (show went on without him, other acts stepped in, I was flabbergasted he refunded their whole weekend) he expresses a lot of love and guilt and responsibility, but has this tiny little “well eff em” vibe that comes out sometimes too. He just recently broke his leg skateboarding before the encore, that’s not ENFJ per se but holy smokes that se child does what it wants!

If you are interested in music with soul, that tells a story and is a bluegrass jam band. Check out Billy Strings. His songs are a mix of bluegrass, singer songwriter and metal. If you have the time, please check out the album renewal.

Anyone else know him? What is your absolute favorite band right now? What is the your opinion on the importance of instruments in music? Younger generation, how do you feel about how music has evolved? Let talk music. Express your thoughts.

I (26M) have been dating my girlfriend (21F) for a little over a year. We’re in a long-distance relationship between the US and Korea (about a 16-hour time difference), and we see each other 3–4 times a year.

A recurring issue has been how she interacts with some of her guy friends. Earlier in the relationship, there were a few guys consistently flirting with her in DMs, which made me uncomfortable. I communicated this, and over time she made changes—she distanced herself from some of them and tried to be more mindful of my feelings.

That said, there are still a couple of guys who message her daily. One in particular sits next to her in class multiple times a week and tries to stay in close contact (texting her if she doesn’t sit with him, asking her to get lunch, etc.). She has reduced some of that interaction, but he still pushes for 1:1 time like dinner after his military service or studying together at a café. She doesn’t like cutting people off completely because that’s not her personality, which I understand.

Recently, another issue came up around her photography hobby. She’s been putting a lot of effort into growing her Instagram and wants to pursue it seriously. She often takes photos of friends or acquaintances for free to build her portfolio.

We got into a bigger argument when her brother’s friend (a guy she doesn’t really know) asked her to do a 1:1 photoshoot. I felt uncomfortable with the idea of her doing a more personal shoot alone with someone I’ve never met, especially since we’re long distance. Part of my reaction was also that she hasn’t taken photos of me yet, even though I’ve told her I’m interested in modeling as a hobby.

I told her I’d feel more comfortable if it was a paid shoot or if it happened when I was there visiting. She felt that I was putting restrictions on her hobby and didn’t want to feel like she needed permission when it comes to photography.

Separately, another guy friend (who she has said might like her) has asked her to hang out 1:1 (like dinner or studying together) and also asked her to take his graduation photos. Those situations also make me uncomfortable, but they didn’t cause as big of a fight as the photoshoot with her brother’s friend.

She has got mad at me during the argument and called me possessive, insecure, unstable, and controlling which hurt my feelings a lot. I’ve never seen her this aggressive before. She later apologized for how she said it, but still feels that my reactions make her feel restricted and gave me a warning that she’ll act like that again if I get sad about her taking photos of guys.

From my perspective, I’m trying to express boundaries and what makes me uncomfortable, especially because long distance already makes things harder for me emotionally. I trust her intentions, but I still struggle with repeated 1:1 interactions with guys who seem interested in her.

At the same time, I don’t want to control her or limit her independence, and I understand that some of this could be my own insecurity—especially since this is my first relationship.

I’ll be visiting her in two weeks, and I want to have a more productive in-person conversation instead of repeating the same arguments over the phone.

How can I communicate my feelings and boundaries in a way that doesn’t come across as controlling, while still addressing what’s been making me uncomfortable? Is this an issue with ENFJs when it comes to opposite-sex relationships?

Mine: ESTJ and ESTP

I just wanted to see if there’s any similarities between us all and if our type has any correlation with our parents

My husband and I started couples counseling about 6 weeks ago. He’s an ISTJ, and I thought therapy could help us overcome our communication gaps. I really wanted this to be positive.

I left a couples therapy session feeling really shaken and honestly questioning myself.

I went in hoping for understanding and balance, but it felt like the focus shifted to fixing me and getting me to agree (instead of helping us understand each other). I crave emotional connection. Right now it feels like my needs are too much and I’m the problem at the core. I really wanted understanding, and when I ask for it, it feels like I’m asking too much and being a problem.

She also said that when I brought up a financial issue to my husband, I triggered his fight or flight and so he snapped. That hit a deep childhood trigger of feeling responsible for other people’s reactions.

I’d been open with her about being verbal and emotional abused as a child.

Now I’m wondering if I’m too much. If I’m misreading everything. If I’m too sensitive. If I deserved it. Not just in our marriage, but throughout life. Like maybe I’ve asked too much or feel too deeply.

I’m asking this question in all the MBTI subreddits because I’m curious! Personally as an INFJ my relationships with ENFJs are always so lovely, my grandma is one and I always have the best talks with her and I just love her so much, and I also had an old boyfriend who was one and we connected so well. I’m curious to see how your relationships are with INFJs usually

we live in a time where looking good became the norm over actually being good. What is this? moral laziness? short cuts to immediate gratification? protection of ego?

Somehow we have become very individualistic societies.
Selfishness, dishonesty, neglect, active unkindness, pleasure from putting others down, disregard for any form of honor, and I can name many more things, just seem to be the common way of the world.

When did words stop being weighed with gold and holding higher value?

Could it work, or would it be a fail??

Not looking for anything serious, just some good convos and maybe a new friend I’m pretty easygoing and can talk about anything music, random thoughts, life stuff, whatever just don’t be dry

If you’re also bored, hmu :)

One day at a time like the only time is today

Direct how it plays out until you're out this place

Building momentum while constructing myself

Killing hesitation going out with a story to tell

Weight on my chest

addicted to stress

So many moods but who'd know it?

Sadness made a soldier with his soul corroded

Antihero learning to live like a stoic

If i must live a mediocre life

Make my death heroic

Happens or happened to you that you despite being drained still need stimulation? Say for example after a good social event, you feel excitable and crave even more stimulation:more socialization, sex, stimulant drinks, walks, sleepless nights. As I said this becones a struggle when you need that but don't have enough energy. It's a pain in the ass. I hope you older enfjs or more mature Se users can reassure me it's just a stage. I want to be more Judging in my stimulation too. For example, now I'm feeling good for two hours, from now on I'll focus on falling asleep for 8 hours.

I personally have an enfj friend who had a small part in it so I’m curious what other enfjs think but any mbtis can answer

That's not to brag, but if we don't have charm, then who does? So I'll get quickly to the point. INFJ's are the ones who seem to be reluctant to open up to me so much so that they may avoid eye contact. I get the feeling they feel exposed by my strong focus on a single person at the time(say at a party). Comparatively I had a much easier time having INTJ's opening up to me. What's your experience when it comes to types that you don't seem to click with right away?

Hi all,

I’m an ENFJ (M, 33) and I’ve recently found myself getting quite close to another ENFJ (F, 31). It’s been a really fun experience so far with easy communication, strong emotional understanding, similar values 😊 - and it’s made me curious about how this pairing tends to play out longer-term.

I’m aware that with ENFJs there’s always the “healthy vs unhealthy” dynamic, especially around things like people-pleasing, emotional intensity, and boundaries. So I’m interested in hearing a range of experiences.

For those of you who’ve had close friendships or relationships with other ENFJs, or you've seen an ENFJ/ENFJ relationship, what worked particularly well?

And what challenges showed up over time?

Thanks for any responses! 🙏

What would be different from his behavior in the game, how he talks, his relationships with his family and other characters, how each scene plays out differently, and how different would he be since he has inferior Ti in the game instead of inferior Fi like his original self?

What would be different and why?

There are some cases where I am not all sunshine and rainbows and love everyone around me ENFJ, but a pissed off teenager even though the people I am dealing with are not essentially bad. One of those cases is when people rush me into doing something.

Today, I was giving a friend instructions on what to do in a long message. I wrote things in a structure and gave solutions to possible mishaps, so that she doesn't have to contact me and ask every time she needs, and instead go back to this message whenever she wants. She says "Wow, long message :d I am not retarded" and then asks a question about something which I exactly wrote. When I say "I told you, let me find it", she bombs me with "When? Where is it? Can you send it to me? Let's do it and move on" implying I am the one causing things to slow down. We can move on if you can just listen and move step by step.

I dunno if this is an ENFJ thing or something I have to work in therapy but I got angry with her really, and it happens generally with people who cannot maintain their attention and want quick answers, and cannot contain themselves and cannot think maybe they are the ones causing the communication to not go smoothly.

Can you relate?

And are there any other situations like this where you cannot control your emotional reaction?

P.S. Ofc I controlled my reaction towards her but that was an unnecessary overexplanation, too, which focuses on I am not implying that she is anything bad, and I just wanted to make every info available for her. Then, she told me she loses the focus when the text is long... Even though there is no real focus, and it is just a step by step plan... But yeah.

Thank you ❤️

How do you find it makes you differ socially from the typical enfj?