ENFJ in distress after couples therapy
My husband and I started couples counseling about 6 weeks ago. He’s an ISTJ, and I thought therapy could help us overcome our communication gaps. I really wanted this to be positive.
I left a couples therapy session feeling really shaken and honestly questioning myself.
I went in hoping for understanding and balance, but it felt like the focus shifted to fixing me and getting me to agree (instead of helping us understand each other). I crave emotional connection. Right now it feels like my needs are too much and I’m the problem at the core. I really wanted understanding, and when I ask for it, it feels like I’m asking too much and being a problem.
She also said that when I brought up a financial issue to my husband, I triggered his fight or flight and so he snapped. That hit a deep childhood trigger of feeling responsible for other people’s reactions.
I’d been open with her about being verbal and emotional abused as a child.
Now I’m wondering if I’m too much. If I’m misreading everything. If I’m too sensitive. If I deserved it. Not just in our marriage, but throughout life. Like maybe I’ve asked too much or feel too deeply.