r/adhdwomen

Just diagnosed about two months ago. Not mediated yet.

So I fucked up bad. I fucked up so bad. I forgot to pay daycare. DAYCARE. I forgot to pay. For months and months. And now…now we owe them $10k. I…how did I do that? How??

They only accept Zelle payments. You can’t automate it. Means you have to go in and pay them every Friday. Every Friday.

I’m…I’m in shock. I had a panic attack this morning. I have an alarm reminder on my phone to pay. And I still forgot. They’re being very kind and offering payment plans but what the fuck

What the fuck.

I hate my brain. I hate myself. My god.

My husband is furious, but trying to hide it. I know he is though. He must hate me even though he swears he doesn’t. Fuck.

I am high functioning , with awful anxiety and spells of just awful thoughts. I let in all negativity, everything is my fault , everything proves I am off. I have known many divergent men in my life. Especially with adhd. Neber met one who acts like this. They allow themselves to be adhd. They are happier. Their anger points towards outside. Do not suffer through what makes them unhappy. Allowed to have ugly handwriting. Allowed to be hyperactive. They feel safe enough to say , this is not for me, when I suffer through everything that needs to be done. I could go on. I am so bitter about this.

(Marked as NSFW because people may not be comfortable reading this but there is nothing sexual)

I was noticing today how my breasts are a big source of sensory comfort for me - they're big, soft and saggy so I have a great time just grabbing and squishing them, bouncing them and playing with them like they're stress balls, fidget toys, or even hand warmers. I realise how much I unconsciously do this. Only when I'm alone of course, but family members have caught me doing that before (I do it over or under my tees or tops, not naked) and thought me weird hahaha

I was depressed about my saggy breasts that were always naturally low but become even more droopy from a lot of weight gain as a result of antidepressant side effect. Thinking about how they're likely to deflate as I lose weight, I looked into surgical breast lift options but realising today how much of a comfort and joy they are for me, just purely in terms of sensory stims, I would be really crushed to lose sensation in them, which is a big possible side effect of getting surgery.

Anyway, what are your weird stims?

I hope this doesn’t get taken down because y’all are the only ones that might understand all the different hurdles I’m facing here. I’m very much in need of a new comforter for my bed but I already struggle enough with sleep, so I’m desperate to find something that doesn’t make that worse. I like:

Fluffy

Natural fibers or similar—I have terrible night sweats and polyester makes it so much worse. And I don’t have AC!

Not annoying-feeling fabric

MUST be machine washable and dryer-able (otherwise let’s be real it’s never getting cleaned)

Will love you forever for some help!

It sounds sad but let me explain.

I was just in another reddit thread about having children and how not having children isn't selfish. But like... it isn't. If I could choose to never have been born into a society that thinks there is something wrong with me, one where I don't have very many social connections because I'm "weird" or "different", I wouldn't have been.

Every single thing in life is a struggle. Holding down a job. Making friends. Remembering to pay bills. Food. Getting out of bed. Taking care if hygiene. It's all just... awful.

Before capitalism we were valued. Useful. Now we're throwaways a lot of the time. We're medicated to conform. To change. To at least try to function.

So does anyone else feel this way? Just thinking how nice it would be if our parents decided not to have children?

I’m embarrassed. Between the depression and adhd I have been struggling hard to not just lay in bed or get side tracked by meaningless “side quests.”

My house is a mess. I can tell I need a shower. I know I will feel better after having one, but it feels impossible. All the steps feel like it takes more energy than I have. I feel like the laziest person on earth.

I can’t possibly layer on more dry shampoo onto my hair.

I posted before and things have gotten worse. I had planned on being a nurse after I got my two special needs kids into high school.

I started taking my pre-requsites has they went off to college. I got laid off in the middle of school but was confident I could succeed.

I didn't do well enough to get into nursing school. I was on medication and had accomodations and still didn't do well enough.

Now am having perimenopause symptoms. I don't have insurance so I just have to deal with the mood swings and brain fog.

Unemployed, undereducated, 50, single mom with ADHD with two kids in college.

I looked at myself in the mirror today and started crying because what I have now IS IT. My tiny apartment, my car, no job and no savings. I door dash and it's enough to keep the lights on.

There's no career I can have with my two conditions that will pull out of poverty. Not at the age I'm at. I didn't notice life was passing me by. I was just working and providing after my husband left.

We were homeless and I got us stable. Took 10 years! The kids needs were too much for him.

I am learning to sit in the disappointment that I am one of the people life didn't work out for. The ADHD, the dyscalculia life has always been hard for me but I always had hope.

I don't have hope anymore. I'll be 50 next month. I can't even pass the assessments to work for a temp company.

This isn't about working it's that it's too late to turn it around. I wish I had gotten diagnosed earlier in life. Maybe, I would've made better decisions or been able to study and get my degree.

The trajectory of my life is fixed now. It's all downhill from here.

Thanks for listening. I don't have any friends.

Which is a problem because it's a controlled substance in my state. Thankfully I had a photo of my ID and they were willing to accept that as a one time exception. As the pharmacist handed me my bag she said "just... Try to remember your ID next time, okay?"

Um, ma'am? You're a pharmacist. What do you think Adderall is prescribed for, exactly? You think I'm steering this ship?

Anywho I got home and frantically looked everywhere for my ID. I found it: it was in my wallet. The whole time. I had it with me. It was just behind my student ID so I didn't see it. This is the life I live

The title pretty much sums it up. I feel really good when I sleep for 0-4 hours and am overworked. I don't ruminate on those days, I don't feel overwhelmed, I don't feel any executive dysfunction. I feel.... Balanced. Especially if I stayed the night up finishing up everything that I was putting off for days, if not weeks. But it's not just work. even on the days when I don't work at night and still don't sleep, I feel AMAZING, like genuinely HAPPY! I feel more energized, and actually look forward to the day. I remember right before my final exams in high school, I stayed awake straight for 6 days (the whole 144 hours), without a blink of sleep and I could remember every single line I read without ever revising. And it's not just that I remember the information, I could decode them and connect them to other topics better. My comprehension ability increases greatly when I am not sleeping at night.

It greatly increases my productivity, but I know it is probably going to have health complications in the long run if I keep going for a long amount of time. So I don't stay awake for more than 2 days at a stretch.

What I want to ask is does anybody else here experience this? And if yes, how do you deal with it?

I love taking walks but for that I have to change to go out, which usually kills my want to go out. I keep specific clothes saved for walks so I won't have to choose but still. it's been this way since childhood.

anyone else experiences that? what's your solution?

Hi, all! I’ve been doing something recently that has been super helpful, and I wanted to share in case it helps anyone else. I’ve been avoiding a zillion little things around my house. And some bigger things. I had the idea to write every thing down, fold the papers, throw them in a bag, and draw items at random, committing to doing whatever the paper says.

Things that feel harder (for me, listing things on Poshmark), I wrote on a different color paper. So I know to pull one of those colors when I’m riding the high of completing easier tasks (“wipe outside of fridge”). Things that take a long time (like conquering my laundry mountain), I broke into chunks, so there are multiple “30 min of laundry”, “20 min laundry”, etc. papers. And I also broke things down into pretty small steps. So, not “clean the living room”, but “vacuum living room”, “put away toys in living room”, etc.

Anyway, TBD if this is a long-term hack, but it’s working for the moment!

I'm 18 and I just recently got diagnosed with inattentive adhd. I've mention to my bf before that I think I have it and he said to stop self diagnosing and how his friends have adhd and they're super hyper and talkative, I tried to explain that there are different types but he doesn't seem to care about learning about it. I got diagnosed and I told him and his first response was to say "they're lying" he later said he was joking but I just feel like that isn't a funny joke. When I told him I was about to start medication he said, "do you think this is going to like solve everything" it just really irritated me because I never said that I just wanted it to help me. I started medication and it made me feel so much more focused and made my overthinking go down. Every time I mention it to him he still acts weird. When I confronted him about it he said that he just don't think it's big deal because so much people have it. I try to explain to him that he's not around all the time and he doesn't see how much it affects me every day. He also told me how I'm too negative and that I don't try hard enough to get better like by doing techniques like deep breathing and it really upset me because he doesn't understand that it's a chemical imbalance in the brain and I was born with it.