r/ZimbabweRelationships

I’ve noticed that some woman/ girls seem to be attracted to guys with a “bad boy” image or those who are socially popular but not very stable in life. What actually drives that kind of attraction?

I’m curious because sometimes these guys are well-known, dress well, and are socially active, but not necessarily focused or stable long-term. Yet they still seem to attract a lot of attention.

What factors explain this kind of attraction?

Alright. So, I have been seeing a lot of requests for this kinda stuff and I have to share my two cents. The internet is a free place, you can post what you want when you want and this is why I am doing this one in particular. So, to the dangers:

1. Getting catfished. Since you are desperate enough to post that you are desperate to get laid the rule book gets thrown out of the window. You might actually end up being same sex raped by one or more individuals. These things have happened and do happen.

2. Organ harvesting. Imagine, this individual comes as promised, is the one you were video calling and you are finally together in a seedy motel or wherever you have decided to do the deed. You are offered a drink and you take it or before you do much, whilst you are being undressed you feel a slight pain. Next thing, you wake up in the bathtub or on the bed with a letter (if you are fortunate) telling you to call the paramedics because one of your kidneys has been taken.

3. Blackmail. You have been marked as desperate for sex. You actually meet up a lot of times at a lot of different venues and have let your guard down. Next thing, after collecting enough of your info your erstwhile partner stops communicating. Next thing, you get a video showing your face whilst doing the act and a demand for money. Before going to the public, you are advised that it shall be shown to your family first. Based on your level in life this can actually destroy what you have worked all your life to build up. On the other end of the spectrum, you can end up never being married (or end up only being available to creepy older persons 🤣). Essentially, your whole future is done.

4. Getting trafficked. This is scary now. There are so many ways you can be drugged and end up being taken to a far-off country. Having been taken under these circumstances, your will power even to escape is highly diminished. You can just literally disappear from friends and family just like that. On top of this, because of the nature of what you were doing you will probably have not advised anyone where you were going. Chances of being found are slim to none.

5. Ritual purposes. Some people are conscripted in cults via sex. Some people collect fluids from the act and use them for ritual purposes.

6. Another issue is that you can end up getting involved with a married person unknowingly. Vamwe vanhu vakatozorohwa kana kutourayiwa vasina zvavaiziva.

Anyways, I am sure that others can add any other issues can happen from these 'partnerships' (there are many obvious things I left out so we can discuss). Even those who want to defend can come and defend their way of life. Let's stick to facts and address issues raised and bring in your points in a respectful way. As for me, I just wanted people to know the other side of this thing so that if you find yourself in a tight spot you won't say you didn't know the dangers. My solution to all of this is get married and enjoy sex where it is supposed to be enjoyed.

I'm from Zimbabwe. I'm 30 and still live with my parents, though i really want to leave. So my dad was diagnosed with diabetes some time ago and was hospitalized for 3 weeks. Bills were piling up and he needed a procedure done and my siblings and I decided to contribute for his bills. My sister who was earning better at the time contributed to the bigger chunk of the medical bills and I was flat broke at the time and asked for an advance at work to help her pay. I got 250 dollars in my advance to help her pay for the medical bill. Kindly note this was the second time I asked for an advance at work as 2 months before my dad got sick, his brother died and I had to pay for the funeral costs alongside my sister. So when my dad got sick I gave my sister 250 dollars. So in total I earn 1560 dollars and on a short term contract with an NGO but I had taken a loan 6 months before my dad ever got sick for 21 thousand dollars so I can buy some land that I can build my first house on in 3 years time (hopefully) before my contract expires. So the bank and the land developer deduct 712 dollars a month from my salary leaving me 848 dollars at least. So now my dad was said to now require an amputation and 3000 dollars surgery is needed. My sister took a loan and asked if we could all pay 300 dollars a month to pay off the loan. After paying the first 250 dollars I couldn't afford paying another 300 dollars because I needed to pay for my bank loan, my parents house's electricity bill for a 100 dollars and groceries for the family. I even offered to give my mom my car while i use combis and pay for the fuel for them to go for doctor visits as fuel is now expensive in Zimbabwe almost 260 dollars plus a month. I then told my sister I honestly can't afford the additional 300 dollars she was asking for and she asked that when she takes the 3000 dollar loan, can she put my car as collateral and I said no as I can't afford anymore debt and can't risk my assets like this anymore, I asked her to put her car as collateral and she said she can't because she hasn't done her change of ownership yet. She asked me again about putting my car for collateral and I said I can't, more debt would kill me, and explained my 20k debt to her. When she heard that she then posted in the family group that she and my brother contributed 300 dollars each to my dad's surgery and she wrote my name and said I contributed $0 and I was very upset by that statement. I can't ask for another advance at work, i can't afford another loan it will kill me and I'm 3 months behind on my funeral policy payments because of the piling costs and debt from my uncle's funeral, dad's bills and loan payments. My mother also scratched my car during the period i landed it to her. Fellow Redditors, Be honest and direct with your take on this issue please and correct me if I'm wrong for being upset. The bills keep piling up and I'm literally left with nothing every month and its draining me. Was I wrong for not giving her an additional 300 dollars after the first procedure, was I wrong to refuse to put my car as collateral for the loan, knowing I was 21 000 dollars in debt already? I love my dad but I feel like the financial stress was hurting me at the time and I had given him all I could at the time. I left the family group because i felt that what happened was a humiliation tactic and blocked my sister afterwards.

Any ladies out there who are into group fun?

Hey I am a 29M just looking for a fling nothing serious please.

Have y'all noticed that people are shifting and replacing wedding event. Weddings were conducted with a God's representative leading, so that their union is ordained by God.

I feel like the Roora ceremonies are removing God from the union because rn people are doing the Roora ceremony only, no pastor or bishop to bless it as it's a Sacred Covenant

I am here to rant
After self reflection and inner monologue its not that worth it to visit . I could do better

Guys how do you deal with a relationship where you feel like you are not loved.My boyfriend and I have been dating and it’s that kind of relationship yema affirmations, kungoti i love you i will never leave you.Looking back I’m the one who initiated the serious conversations.No dates,No surprise gifts, No data money, No nails money, I tried zvema surprise gifts to show how it’s done but still nothing is changing.By the time this changes I don’t think i will like it anymore because changes that come after you say something they don’t hit the way.Ladies who have never been sent money or ma dates how do you survive in your relationships.Guys how do you show love to your girlfriends .I love him zvekuti but now i think I’m in love with the idea of having a boyfriend being called bby, but bby doesn’t give a dime on how to love you in word and in action. I get we just dating and not married but guys pa marriage pacho won’t I be that type of woman who pays the rent takes care of the kids all by herself.

I've been with my husband since I was 18 (32 now) and we genuinely love each other, but I need honest advice from people who’ve experienced sexual mismatch long term.

When we were younger, we both had a high sex drive, but mine was always higher. Back then it was almost funny to us and we made it work easily enough. But as we've gotten older, the gap feels bigger. My desire has increased over the years while his has slowed down.

I still love and value him deeply. We still have sex regularly (around 3 times a week), so this isn’t a dead bedroom situation at all. But for me, it still feels difficult because I feel turned on so often that it becomes mentally exhausting sometimes.

I would never cheat on my husband. That’s not who I am. But if I’m being completely honest, my mind sometimes wanders to whether I can realistically handle this difference forever. Sometimes I even catch myself wondering what it would feel like to be with someone whose sexual energy matched mine, and then I immediately feel guilty because I truly do love my husband.

I think what makes this harder is that people rarely talk openly about women being the one with the much stronger sexual appetite in a marriage. Sometimes I even wonder if something is wrong with me for feeling this way.

Has anyone else experienced this from either side? How did you handle it in a healthy way long term? And how do I communicate this without making him feel inadequate, because he really is a good husband?

P.S. Posting on behalf of a friend who doesn’t have Reddit. She also used AI to help put her feelings into words a little better. Please be kind.

 

Planning to go out with my female friend however, don't want it to be BNB straight or too open that you cant share a kiss. A little in between would be much appreciated, if you know a place maybe near greendale, chisi, those placing hmu.

Yes we dont have a car lol

I’ve seen a lot of videos where men seem shocked, stressed, or even unhappy when their wives tell them they’re having another baby. Sometimes the reaction looks like they’re not excited at all.

I just turned 24, not yet married but do you guys naturally reach a point where you genuinely want kids or marriage, or does that feeling depend on the person? For men who were unsure at first, what changed for you (if anything)?

Ko ma M4F nema F4M aane time asiri kuiswa kaa pano, what happened? 🤣🤣💔. Asi makatenderedzana mukatopedzana ? Inga zvakaoma . Anyways , if y'alls single and searching comment under this post with what you are looking for . Potential suiters please respond either here or DM

Guys muka relationship umu is it a must to just give a girl money kkkk agh this girl ndaneta shes always asking for money i do what i can do at times she asks to borrow large sums of money you.give her inodxoka after a while then iwe ukamukwereta yake anoda ne interest ndozvamuri kuitawo here gents

I feel so stupid,..a few days ago I (23M) made a friend online (also a guy but purely straight and platonic), best night this entire year tbh. The next day he just woke up distant, and conversation just went colder and colder, and I’ve been asking myself what went wrong, especially since he initially seemed just as excited too. How tf did I get soo attached, I really am not doing great, and unfortunately there’s nothing I can do.

This is a safe space, right? Why is it that whenever someone tells a relationship story, they're always the victim? The wronged one who deserved better. But are you actually brave enough to own a time when you were the bad guy?

I'll go first as:

I once broke up with someone because they caught me cheating. She found DMs from the girl I'd told her not to worry about, and those messages told a very different story. When she confronted me, I did what every cornered coward does: made it about privacy, about anything except the actual issue. And then I ended things almost immediately after.

I know.

The thing is, I genuinely loved her. But instead of facing what I'd done, I decided it was easier to just become the villain. Walk away as the bad guy rather than stand there and watch the disappointment settle in her eyes.

Shame makes people do strange, awful things.

So what's your villain story?

I’ve (25M) been seeing a lot of posts lately about how the dating scene in Zim is "dry" or just full of drama, but I wanted to share a major win from yesterday.

Finally had my first FFM experience and honestly? It was better than I ever expected.

I was slightly worried it would be awkward or that "Zim vibes" (you know, the occasional conservative overthinking) would get in the way, but the chemistry was just top-tier.

A few things that made it work:

No "Gatekeeping": We were very clear about what we wanted before meeting up. No games, just vibes.

The Energy: It’s a completely different dynamic. Having two partners focusing on you (and each other) is a madness. 10/10 would recommend.

Communication: We kept it very respectful. I think that’s where most people fail, they forget that everyone needs to feel comfortable for the magic to happen.

I’m curious though, how common is this really in our streets? I feel like people talk about it in "hush-hush" tones but it’s actually becoming more of a thing.

For the gents (or ladies) who have done this in Zim, how do you handle the "after-effects"? Is it a one-time thing for you guys or do you turn it into a regular dynamic?

Either way, yesterday was a movie. 🍿

What makes someone gay from a Zimbabwean man/woman’s perspective. Pachivanhu chedu kana kuti mutsika yedu Chii chatinoti Ngochani? Do you know of any stories/folklore ( Ngano ) of these issues?

Hey my Zimbabwean family. I am doing some research and I will be very glad if you can assist me. This post is purely for academic purposes and I very much want to hear the thoughts 💭 of everybody.

And then please if you can answer this question: If a man has sex with another man for commercial purposes ( what is termed in Academia as MSM - Men who have sex with Men ) for a movie 🎥 role, in a Series for example a Netflix series like Beauty in Black can that man claim to be Heterosexual?

Then another question. If a man dresses 👗 in a dress 👗 for the purposes of skits and social media content so as to make profit like your Mama Vee’s, Adopted son etc can that man claim to be heterosexual

Before y'all come at me let me explain a bit. I'm not really interested in the girl's money but I would actually like to be with someone who has something going for her in her own life. It's not like I want her to be like that tungwarara kid rich but have some kind of stability.

There are gals where you find out that she isn't doing nothing with her life at the moment like school or work you'll definitely know that you're gonna be billed most of the time , like my data is finished, I'm craving this and this yooh .

So lastly I'm gonna say if she's not gonna help me make money, save money, manage money or bring in money she's worthless.

I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. Before we started dating, he told me he had two children, which I accepted and didn’t mind. Then in December, I found out he had another child that I didn’t know about. I couldn’t believe it at first, but I looked into it and it turned out to be true he has another child, born in the same year we started dating.

The issue for me is, why lie from the beginning. I think I would have understood him, especially because this happened before I was even in the picture. What I don’t understand is why he is being dismissive about it now like it’s nothing.

Also, when was he planning to tell me? I need advice on whether I am valid in feeling the way I feel, and whether I am wrong for wanting to leave. By the way, I’m a single woman handina mwana or kumboroorwa.