I love my husband deeply, but I’m struggling with our s*xual mismatch
I've been with my husband since I was 18 (32 now) and we genuinely love each other, but I need honest advice from people who’ve experienced sexual mismatch long term.
When we were younger, we both had a high sex drive, but mine was always higher. Back then it was almost funny to us and we made it work easily enough. But as we've gotten older, the gap feels bigger. My desire has increased over the years while his has slowed down.
I still love and value him deeply. We still have sex regularly (around 3 times a week), so this isn’t a dead bedroom situation at all. But for me, it still feels difficult because I feel turned on so often that it becomes mentally exhausting sometimes.
I would never cheat on my husband. That’s not who I am. But if I’m being completely honest, my mind sometimes wanders to whether I can realistically handle this difference forever. Sometimes I even catch myself wondering what it would feel like to be with someone whose sexual energy matched mine, and then I immediately feel guilty because I truly do love my husband.
I think what makes this harder is that people rarely talk openly about women being the one with the much stronger sexual appetite in a marriage. Sometimes I even wonder if something is wrong with me for feeling this way.
Has anyone else experienced this from either side? How did you handle it in a healthy way long term? And how do I communicate this without making him feel inadequate, because he really is a good husband?
P.S. Posting on behalf of a friend who doesn’t have Reddit. She also used AI to help put her feelings into words a little better. Please be kind.