r/ToxicWorkplace

I’m a junior employee and I get way too emotionally affected by work.

I take feedback, tone, and passive-aggressive behavior really personally, even though I know I shouldn’t. It ends up sitting heavy in my chest and affecting my mood more than it should.

To be clear, this isn’t coming out of nowhere — there have been past incidents that made me more hyper-aware of tone, feedback, and how people communicate. So I think I’ve become overly sensitive to it now.

I also struggle with what feels like workplace “fakeness” (people being nice to your face but possibly saying something else behind the scenes), and I feel like I’m not really equipped to deal with corporate politics yet.

I try to be considerate and aware of others, but I don’t always feel that same understanding back, which makes it feel a bit imbalanced.

I think part of it is that I don’t have much of a life outside of work right now, so work carries more weight for me than it probably should.

I’m aware this isn’t a healthy way to experience work, and I don’t want it to keep affecting me like this.

For those who’ve been through this earlier in their careers — how did you learn to not take things so personally and handle workplace dynamics without it affecting you this much?

I want to share something that happened to me at work, because when it was happening I went online looking for advice—and honestly, most of what I got made things worse.

I work at UPS in a warehouse/office role under management. At one point, I started coming into my office and noticing my belongings were being messed with. Then it escalated. Things were being destroyed. I have a camera in my office, so I checked it—and I saw the woman who shares the office with me on nights sitting at my desk, going through my things. At one point, she smashed a photo of my daughter and then put it back like nothing happened.

Security confronted her. At first she denied it, but once they showed her the footage, she brushed it off like “I was just having a bad day,” as if that makes it normal. The company’s response was to have us sit down, apologize, and “move forward.” She told me she wouldn’t go through my desk again.

The very next day, I came in and my desk was cleared out. Things were thrown away—including OSHA files that are important for my job. At that point, it crossed into a hostile work environment for me. I went to my boss, and instead of escalating it further, I was given the option to move offices. So I took what I had left and moved.

After that, I didn’t have direct issues anymore. We never worked face-to-face anyway—she worked nights, I worked days. But I heard she started targeting other employees, and one of my favorite night clerks ended up quitting because of it.

Now I’m in a different office, right across from the building manager. Ever since then, nothing has happened to me. I also know she was written up for throwing away sensitive files, so it’s not like nothing happened—it’s just that I removed myself from the situation instead of trying to “win” it.

When this first started, I went to Reddit for advice. Almost everyone told me to go straight to HR. I didn’t. I went through security and management instead. And later, I watched another woman who took over my old office go to HR over similar issues—and she ended up getting fired. The person causing the problems has been there for 30 years. She wasn’t going anywhere.

That’s when it really clicked for me: not every situation is solved by “doing the right thing” on paper. Sometimes the system protects longevity over fairness. If I had followed the advice I was given, I could’ve lost my job and been scrambling to recover.

So I stopped asking for advice and just handled it in a way that protected me. And honestly, that’s the lesson here—sometimes the best move isn’t escalation, it’s strategy.

I work in an engineering based job in the U.K., been in the same trade 20+ years and never had any issues fitting in or intergrating. I've always found that, for the most part, colleagues have been reasonably professional and that they care about their workmanship and quality of their end product. However, in the past 4-5 years, this hasnt just fizzled out. There's been a huge and sudden shift to the complete opposite attitude. Colleagues, both young and old, are completely incapable of taking anything seriously. They constantly cause further damage to machinery during the course of "repair" and fail to fault find correctly. The quality of our work really matters and these failings at times are downright dangerous and can absolutely put peoples lives at risk but the whole thing is one enormous laugh to them. I'm often left sorting others mistakes or im picking up their slack by taking on an ever increasing portion of the workload. I moved to another company recently, hoping to see a change, but it's just the same. My employers, current and previous, claim that there's nobody out there to employ so they have to settle.

I can't even socialise with any colleagues because im treated like an outsider for not engaging with them on their level. I'm made fun of almost daily for caring about a career that I've invested the best part of 3 decades in. I love working with my hands, and solving problems. I'm tired and burned out from feeling like work is hostile to anyone who actually wants to do the job. I honestly dont know what to do

This will be quite a long read. I apologize in advance for vague timelines.

I have been training for nearly a year in my position at a large veterinary hospital, which is also a teaching hospital. Recently, I have learned from other co-workers that the person who was responsible for the majority of my training has been spreading misinformation about me, or rather, my mistakes. I admittedly have had some issues drawing up medications in syringes, and on two separate occasions administered the wrong amount to the wrong patient. Thankfully, on both occasions, none of the patients were harmed. In meetings with my trainer and management, they were very understanding and supported me in figuring out why I was making these mistakes.

Then, my mom died. She had been struggling with COPD for nearly my whole life, legally blind due to a brain aneurism, and had recently suffered from a stroke which left her with more brain damage. I had to fly home urgently to see her before she passed. She was on at-home hospice, so we watched her go. Sparing details, I came back home traumatized and grieving.

While grieving, I continued to make medical errors. I want to stress that NONE of these errors got past my trainer, and were corrected, so no animals were harmed, and that the frequency became less and less, until I was going weeks without making a mistake. But I had recently come off of my medication and on a waitlist for therapy- not in a good headspace to grieve or train. Management was understanding but kept extending my training, until one day they assign me to float, without giving meds, seemingly indefinitely due to new hires needing training.

Fast forward to last week, I sit down with two of my managers and they tell me I can either transfer to another department, or assume my old position. I opted to transfer to another department, interviewed once out of two interviews scheduled, and then my second interview was canceled- they opted for other candidates. A few days later I'm approached by co-workers and told that my trainer has been spreading misinformation about my mistakes- the frequency, severity, and 'lack of concern' about them. She has also spread the rumor that I'm incompetent when it comes to medical math- I am not incompetent, I'm getting the hang of it and have done well calculating CRIs and dosages. This trainer has a lot of connections in the department I was meant to transfer to.

I have the feeling that she influenced the department's choice in moving on from my application, and has possibly been misleading management when it comes to updates on my training progress. I am hesitant to take this to management or HR, because management tends to be clique-y with the trainers (who are also in a leadership position), and because HR tends to turn a blind eye to these types of issues- and because my trainer is much more experienced, worked at our company longer, and is a trusted technician. I also feel as though I cannot leave and work at a different practice, because vet med in the area I am in is a small world and rumors travel fast.

I'm disheartened as well as a bit angry since I would rather have a meeting with my trainer and management to talk about issues like this, rather than have rumors spread about me. I find it highly unprofessional of my trainer to behave this way, although I'm not surprised since she's always talking about someone. I'm considering leaving the company all together, or transferring to a completely different branch of the hospital. After speaking with some co-workers who I'm close to and supported by, they suggested I try and make a case for myself, and even offered to bear witness or defend me if needed.

What should I do? There are other trainees who make the same mistakes I have and seem to be getting off scot-free. I have since restarted my medication and go to therapy twice a month, and haven't made a medication error in months. I truly feel as though I am capable and that my training situation was not handled properly, should have been put on standby while I was grieving, or trained with other staff while the new hires were coming on board.

I left a very toxic workplace awhile back after being there for most of my career. I am so much happier where I am now and wish I had left a lot sooner. My boss spent years cultivating a very toxic work place and I spent many years making sure the wheels didn’t fall off. I left on not great terms with them and from what I know, I’m still their favorite trash taking subject. I did leave on good terms with our board of directors.

My former boss is finally moving on. I imagine one of the managers under me when I was there will step into their place. They would be much better off to hire from outside. The toxic culture there will never improve without outside management and will eventually take a detrimental toll on the organization.

Do I have any business giving an unsolicited opinion on their hiring? Would the board of directors even care if a former long time employee even had an opinion on something that doesn’t technically involve me anymore.

Hello everyone!

So, I'll make this as short and try to give as much context as I can.

I am a manager at a small retail store which has been riding high on its reputation alone for the past ten years. I have been manager for about 3 years now. The owner of the store is my "boss", but other than that, we don't have HR, we don't have other supervisors, we don't have admin. Just me, a buyer, a vintage manager (the person who preps the vintage for the store) and the big boss, who is the owner.

I have known this woman for 6 years now. I worked floor and basically created this manager position myself so she could just take care of being the owner. Everything was going well for her for the first two years of my managerial position, as I was honestly overworking myself and doing so much damage control for this woman's business, I totally burnt myself out. I realized quickly that she was completely incompetent and should not own a business.

I wanna add: she never trained me or showed me how to do anything. I really, truly, learned everything myself. This includes recruiting, hiring, training, creating schedules, store maintenance, HR for the staff, shipping and handling orders, social media, inventory management, banking operations, client relations and emails, dealing with all the merchants, managing consignment, etc etc. You get the drill.

I quickly understood that this woman underpays and deeply undervalues her staff/the people that keep her store running while she goes on vacation every month, doesn't know any of the staff member's names (we're like 12), refuses to give us appropriate raises/performance reviews, is never around and is extremely avoidant when it comes to any issues I might bring up. Once in a while, she'll drop in and start to micromanage everything (mind you, she doesn't even know how to work the cash register) and hyperfocus on a small detail like the plants looking a little dry. She will then proceed to speak of that one issue the whole time, meanwhile I'm here with things that actually have to be addressed like paying her merchants and consignors which make up most of her profit.

She is extremely stubborn, freaks out over sales being down constantly, but when I offer concrete tips and solutions on how to increase them like adding social media presence, going to pop ups, collaborating with other stores and artisans, she just refuses. Two weeks later, she comes to me with all these ideas, ideas I gave her and then just tells me to get it done. I need her approval on a lot of things, because she gets mad if we do ANYTHING without her "approval", but then wants me to "get things done".

So you see now, I'm dealing with a double edged sword. This was just the context of who I'm dealing with so you can help me with this situation I'm facing.

Here's the thing: I have been burnt out and honestly am so tired of working for someone like this. I've been looking for other jobs but the market is so fried here, it's taking longer than I expected. In the meantime though, she has begun to completely ice me out and stop acknowledging or talking to me about ANYTHING. Thing is, I am the manager. Her and I NEED to communicate. I have information about so many things that she needs to know, but she has completely stopped talking to me about the store. I find out she asks things about scheduling or certain systems we have in place to members of the floor staff, who have absolutely no answer to give her because they work on the floor? I've been hearing from the buyer that she's talking about all these little things not being done, yet I am doing my job just as I always have. I don't mind if there's things I need to change of correct or even improve, there's always room for that, especially that I'm a self-taught manager, but I need to know.

She has done this before to two other staff members, also. The last buyer and the last vintage manager. I have watched it happen with my own eyes and watched them quit because of it. She doesn't like you anymore or grows resentful of you for your "mistakes" (which you have to guess you've made because she avoids confrontation at all costs) and just.... Stops talking to you. It's crazy. So I'm one of them now.

I've been so pissed off and over this job and this situation that I come into work honestly depressed and cranky as hell. I'm poor, I'm overworked, I'm undervalued, I'm trying to find something else, anything else.

I've also given up on bringing up the fact of her ignoring me to her. My opinion is that she is a grown woman and she needs to communicate with me if she's unsatisfied with my performance. If not, I can just assume everything's fine.

But another part of me is thinking: I should be the one to reach out and just be like "so I've noticed you've ceased all communication with me and I think it's important we keep speaking to each other blah blah blah" Obviously I would write something more cordial but firm. I'm usually the type of person to bring something like this up, as I value honest conversations to resolve issues, but I'm also so, so tired.

Should I just pretend I don't notice her blatantly ignoring me, find another job and just leave her ass in the dust?

Is it worth being the bigger person and reaching out so I can finally address the issues at hand?

Let me know what you think. Thank you all.

I was an intern at this top institute in India. Literally the dream institute for everyone who clears GATE. There were tight schedules and we were worked to the bone with no holidays (even on weekends) with no benefits. The offer letter dictated that we would be given minimum wages, and when the government revised its labour wages rules, somehow it didn’t impact our income. It also said we’re not employees of the institute, just “merely workers under the designated scientist” and NO PROVIDENT FUND.

During my time there, I learnt that some of our projects are given to M.Tech students as a part of their course projects. The team assigned to my project simply said “we don’t know coding” and left. One of them likely faked an illness for the entire duration of my project. I was to do it all alone, with my assigned work. Mind you, these are supposed to be the top in the country, but boy I went through hell. I stayed back for days, sat in one spot till my legs went NUMB and leaked through my pad multiple times(TMI, sorry) but I wasn’t given time to breathe.

In the end, I pull it off, thanks to fellow coworkers and no thanks to the students and all I got was a “well done”.

The MTech students then presented the work on a national forum as their own. They even had the audacity to tell me I’m not doing my job right because I didn’t set up a demo for them before the broadcast.

I resigned.

My stress induced alopecia slowly started recovering.

A few months later, I find out that my colleague had her work stolen openly as well, to be presented by someone who had nothing to do with the project, as their own. ON AN INTERNATIONAL FORUM. My colleague was the most hard working person I’d ever seen. If you think I went through hell, she went through a lot worse in words I can’t describe. And there’s nothing we can do because of the damn contracts. You don’t get paid well, you don’t get paid overtime AND you don’t get leave. We were never given holidays, although it was on the official holiday list of the institute, including most weekends.

My colleagues belonging to a certain religion, got their holidays, no questions asked. But we couldn’t take holidays to celebrate our festivals and culture, even though we were in good number. I don’t think religious discrimination should take place in a top CFTI, or anywhere else, but it happened. Not just once or twice. Everyone should have the freedom to celebrate every festival, that’s what unity means.

There was also an instance where a PhD student (female) was working till 10:30 pm and meet with an accident inside the campus. Her professor threatened to sack her and was furious that the work would be stalled. Mind you, this PhD student dedicated her time, had no family to contact as she was in a PG, is in a hospital in a faraway city, and later gets to know her professor intends to sack her. As a woman in India, I can tell you she compromised on her safety as well for her work. That’s the story with most of us, honestly. Logging off at 11:00-12:00 in the night. No concessions, even if you are a female.

We also had strict log in/ log off hours, to the point where they openly mentioned that on the event of an accident you should still log in/ log off remotely and submit progress reports of the project. I think it even made national headlines.

I’ve seen a lot of people get their work stolen in CFTIs. No accountability at all. I’m just glad I made it out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m really grateful to have worked there, but boy, 20 yr old me did NOT deserve that. Thanks for making it till here and listen to me rant, guys.

Word of advice: don’t join an institute unless you’re enrolled as a student there, a part of HR or are a professor/ research scientist yourself. Go through your contracts very carefully before signing on.

I’m about 2 months into a new healthcare job, and I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or if something is off.

My boss is on and off in the clinic, so most of the time it’s me, one colleague, and about 6 other staff. Recently, there were 2 anonymous client reviews. One was about someone who worked there long before I joined, and the other was about a sudden price increase, which I had nothing to do with. Neither review mentioned me, but both got pinned on me anyway. I was questioned heavily, and it felt like they had already decided it was my fault. I had to defend myself, and even then, it didn’t feel like they actually believed me.

A few days later, I found out that one of the staff—who has barely worked with me—had been making a lot of complaints about me to the boss, including really petty things. I also feel like my colleague has been subtly encouraging this, even though I’ve had no direct issues with her.

On top of that, client distribution doesn’t feel fair. My colleague seems to have her own pool and only passes cases to me when she’s overloaded, and they’re usually the difficult ones. It also feels like how clients are allocated to me depends on other unclear factors rather than a proper system.

Overall, I feel unsupported and like there’s some narrative about me that I’m not even aware of. I’ve been trying to stay professional, but it’s been draining.

Am I being too sensitive, or are these actual red flags? And should I already be thinking about looking for another job?