Should a 29 year old date a 23 year old ?
OK to give context to the story, before I even exchange numbers with this 29-year-old we both work in the same Amazon delivery station. He is a dispatcher. I am an associate. We kept things very professionally whenever we were on the launchpad helping drivers load up their truck.
In the beginning, I wasn’t paying attention to him. I didn’t really care for him until one day, while on the launchpad, I got super bored and decided to go up to him and ask him if he had a girlfriend. He said no why do you ask and I said I was just wondering, and then I walked away. Two minutes later, I see him again on the launchpad and he asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no, and walked away again a few minutes go by and he walks up to me with his phone in his hand, and he puts his phone in my hands and says put your number in my phone so I do so.
At first, I was shocked because I didn’t think that he would do that but that’s what happens when you get bored right? So we started talking and getting to know each other and I found out that he’s 29 turning 30 and I’m 23. Personally, I felt like if he really didn’t want to talk to a 23-year-old he could’ve stopped talking to me right then and there. But he continue to talk to me for a one month.
In that timeframe , he did inform me that he was just chilling and eventually wanting a relationship . I essentially was doing the same thing so I didn’t really see any point in pressuring someone into a relationship . I just went with the vibe of the relationship that we established .
We FaceTimed regularly , saw each other outside of work twice. We’ve kissed a few times , and would give each other side hugs at the job when nobody was looking. Sometimes he would even call me cute nicknames, like sweetheart or sunshine, and one time he accidentally called me “Bae”
The very first time we hung out we literally were just talking in the car for hours. We even watched a crime documentary together. He got food even though I wasn’t really hungry, but he still got food and that’s when we started kissing. One thing I will say is I never let anything get to physical. The only thing I allowed was kisses and hugs.
Throughout the month, we build a chemistry naturally we build a connection naturally we had similarities. I thought he was genuinely a cool person to talk to you. We got familiar with each other basically. One time we had them all day and he took me to see his child at home and I thought that was so nice to see.
One time he took me home from the job so I wouldn’t have to spend money on a Lyft ride and I thought that was really nice of him. During the ride, he even offered to get something to eat with me, but I truly wasn’t hungry and I did have food at home. I should’ve said yes but it’s OK. Once he took me home, I said OK I’m going now, Give me a kiss and he gave me a kiss.
How this all ended within one month :
One day we were FaceTiming and I had asked him how much dispatchers make , and he said it’s salary and I made a joke and said oh that explains why you’re so rich and he said I’m not rich yet, and then he mentioned his cologne collection and I was slightly teasing him and said why do you have a cologne collection lol, he took offense to that and got triggered and asked me. Why are you always asking questions like that? Then he said you have to take a shower. I’ll kick it with you later.
The next day, I expected him to call me or FaceTime me he didn’t do that. Half the day had went by and he didn’t message me at all. I started preparing to protect myself so I blocked him on TikTok and I accidentally had called him when I was deleting the call log and he called me right back, but I didn’t answer the phone.
A few days passed by and he hasn’t texted me at all , so I took the initiative and I texted him. Are we not speaking anymore? What’s going on? I’m confused by the sudden distance. He explained that he saw that I called and saw that he was blocked, and I explained that I felt ghosted by him and he didn’t text me at all, so I thought he was really angry at me and I decided to give him space and he told me that it wasn’t about space, he felt as though that I was gaslighting him. Which I wasn’t I was just playfully teasing. He explained to me that he’s been around narcissistic people half his life and he understands that I may not know what triggers him , and he explained that he hates being unheard and unseen . So, I took the initiative to apologize. It was all just a huge misunderstanding a day goes by and he has not responded back to my apology text. The next day he goes into work and he’s sitting at his desk on his phone so it’s very clear that he’s ignoring me.
So I texted him again and said I wish him the best. It’s very clear that you’re not interested in me anymore. I hope you’re OK and it was essentially a goodbye text. I was very emotionally mature. I made sure to watch my words and he didn’t even reply to that sincere goodbye text . A week goes by and I’m still thinking about the situation. I’m getting emotional. My cycle is coming up. I know I shouldn’t have texted him, but I texted him again and asked him if he wants to continue speaking to me or not, which it was very clear he didn’t, and he said, I thought that we were done already. That’s when he explained to me that we could be cool but not anything towards a relationship. He says that I’m a great person. I’m young and I’m beautiful, but he doesn’t want to rush me growing up. So then I offered friendship and he explained that he just wants to be in a good place and feel emotionally safe in all situations. He says that I am an amazing woman, but he doesn’t see himself risking himself in a situation that would cause issues with his peace.
I respected his decision and moved on . I’m slightly over this situation, but it is really hurtful to be rejected. I think the age possibly was a problem or he really didn’t like me. Still kinda confused.