AIO: overheard coworker making racist remarks, unhappy about mgmt’s response.
Im the only woman on a crew of men. I have thick skin about most situations, but last week something happened that was just too much to listen to.
One coworker, called Todd, regularly makes overly sexual, inappropriate remarks. It’s been that way the entire time I’ve worked there, I’ve called him out when he’s stepped over the line, and he’s been verbally reprimanded, but he’s starting to continue down on his path again.
An example of an inappropriate remark: 6:00am, one coworker is running late, Todd; “oh he must have gotten some good pussy last night.”
Look, I get “man speak” but there is a time and a place and 6am at work is not it.
This past Friday we’re all in the break room eating lunch. Todd comes back from buying his lunch, sets it down on the table and launches into a conversation(whom exactly he was speaking to wasn’t obvious) about how he couldn’t tell whether the person making his lunch was male or female so he went with “it.”
Disgusting. I found it irritating enough to have to listen to his transphobia so freely, but then he moved lunch to sit with more of the crew and really launched into something different.
Todd’s ex gf is a black woman. We’ve seen her come to work to pick him up in the past. Todd starts on this conversation about his ex and someone says “I thought she was black, why does she have a white person’s name”
Todd: “she was raised by white people so she acts different.”
The other guy: “so what was her name before?”
Todd: “idk dude, probably Zimbabwe or something.”
Just racist as hell honestly to hear someone talking about their ex like that, and if I were her??? I left the room and passed a coworker who typically is more female friendly and I said something along the lines about how disrespectful it was that he was talking about her like this. He pretty much shrugged and said about how it’s “other people’s problems.”
But after hearing this guy speak I can’t shake the feeling that the way he spoke so freely about his ex girlfriend is how he regularly speaks in other situations about anyone who is different than him. We work at a place that has a solid collection of people who look or are different than he is.
Thinking along those lines, I raised the scenario to an older woman who manages HR. Her response was that another reprimanding conversation would occur, as well as telling me they can’t be the, “Thought Police,” about how people talk.
Which to me feels like she’s just accepting and approving the racist remarks that Todd said.
I don’t feel confident about her reaction whatsoever now. But am I overreacting in all of this??
TLDR; coworker made racist comments about a personal connection openly at work.