r/RomanticAdvice

This guy i’ve been seeing for about 3 weeks said I disrespected him because I called his friend handsome. We were up late last night talking about our friends and I asked to see a picture of his friends. He showed me a pic of his girl bff and I said “Aw she’s so beautiful”. He showed me a picture of his guy bff and had a similar response “Aw he’s handsome!” He told me I disrespected him by saying that and I’m in the wrong for making a comment like that. I tried to explain to him that it’s human nature to be able to recognize that someone is handsome or beautiful, but not be attracted to them. He said that it’s wrong to think like that and continually kept telling me I was disrespectful towards him and now he can’t trust me. I called him earlier today and he continually kept telling me that he’s not sure if he can forgive me for this and not sure if he/we should move forward. What do I do?? Should I just collect my losses and move on or try to make this work??

I (27F) am in a 5-year relationship with my boyfriend (28M) who I genuinely love. He’s my best friend, my safe place, the person who has always been there for me when life gets hard. We talk about marriage, kids, future trips, all of it. We barely ever fight (we built amazing communication and understanding towards each other with time) On paper, nothing is “wrong.”

But over the last year or so, the spark/attraction has slowly faded. We both face difficult situations in our respective carreer, evenings are usually just decompressing, weekends are errands/resting, sex drive got super low, things feel very routine. I still feel emotionally connected to him, but not necessarily excited in the same way anymore.

And now there’s this guy I see through work maybe once a week (different company, professional setting). Nothing inappropriate has happened at all. We barely even flirt, it’s mostly just occasional jokes and conversations/eye contact. But there’s definitely tension/chemistry there and I can feel it every time we interact.

He’s really smart, very handsome, compliments my work a lot (we are collaborating on a common project, but out company is more on the production side) and apparently even my coworkers noticed he seems into me, and sometimes tease me after the meetings when i got complimented. I catch myself looking forward to meetings with him and sometimes leaving with a stupid little smile afterward. Which makes me feel SO guilty because I have literally never had a crush like this while being in a relationship.

Those thoughts have been there for the last two months and they have started to feel more intense for the last two weeks or so.

The thing is: I don’t actually know this guy that well. It’s rationally know this is mostly about fantasy/chemistry/novelty. I’m not planning to act on anything. But the fact that I’m daydreaming about someone else at all is making me question everything.

Is this just what happens in long-term relationships sometimes? Like getting attached to the feeling of excitement and being desired again? Or is this a sign something deeper is missing in my relationship?

Late 20s if that matters.

TL;DR: I’m in a loving 5-year relationship with my best friend, but the spark has faded over time. Recently developed a strong crush/chemistry with a guy I see through work once a week (nothing has happened and I don’t plan to act on it), and now I’m questioning whether this is just normal long-term relationship boredom + novelty, or a sign something deeper is missing. Losing my head and constantly daydreaming.

Hey guys, I really need some human advice on this because my brain is overthinking everything.

I’m an independent filmmaker (M) and I recently met this amazing girl (F) while we were crewing for a short film. She is originally from another state and is only in my city for her studies. I usually joke around a lot on set to keep the energy up, and we instantly clicked. Since she lived close to my place, I started dropping her home after our late-night wrap-ups. We had a really fun, pure vibe.

One thing that makes this tricky is our professional dynamic. In terms of filmmaking experience, I am way ahead of her, and she really looks up to me. She constantly praises my knowledge and my taste in movies. Because she respects me so much as a professional, I'm even more terrified of crossing a line and making her feel uncomfortable.

After the project, we met up for coffee to exchange some gear. What was supposed to be a 5-minute thing turned into us talking for over an hour about the industry and life. She is so simple, incredibly career-oriented, and exactly the kind of person I want in my life. Also, during our crazy shoot days, even when it got super late, she never got a call from anyone checking up on her. Even during our coffee meetup, her phone never rang. Our crew assumed she is single because she’s just so low-key.

Now, she has moved to another city for a 6-month internship. We keep in touch.To add to my confusion, I recently stumbled upon her private Instagram account.

In my circle, I’m the guy who brings good, dedicated people together. If I ask her directly and it backfires, it could ruin our professional relationship, especially since she looks up to me. I really want her in my life, but I don't want to lose that pure respect.

So, I have two questions for you guys:

How do I subtly figure out if she’s single without making it weird professionally?

Should I send a follow request to her private account, or will that look too forward/pushy given our current equation?

I genuinely want to ask my optometrist out for coffee or just confess how I'm curious about him and would love to get to know him as a person. I'm also cautious about not doing it during the actual appointment, but I was wondering if any of you have thoughts on how to do it?

Any input would be great. Thank you.

1.Casually said love u once then laughed it off with his other friends 🥴

2- Teasing all the time not listening deliberately to irritate(even after I get angry 😡 and make such face😤)

3- Given ride a few times on totally opposite route.

4- Calls me as one of his bestfriends/besties👻

5- But said things like tu meri gf thori hai when I asked to face time.😧

6-Few months ago once casually said u are likable to me

7- Said mai waisa thori hu jo dosti ke piche ye sab krta

8- His use of words in "aap" tone increased

So, I’d like to ask for some help—is there any hope for this?
I was dating a guy who is the captain of a water polo team. 🤽‍♂️A few weeks into our relationship, one of his teammates (who is also in my circle of friends) messaged me, asking if I could help him get together with one of my girlfriends. I said okay. From that point on, we started talking a lot. We had long phone calls📞, he took me to the movies and paid for everything. Once, during a get-together, he even took my keys on purpose. He was always looking for me in the hallways and kept flirting with me, playfully hitting or nudging me. He even put his friend’s birthday into my calendar. I’ve been to his house once because I got lost in the neighborhood and went up to charge my phone. I had a blast with him, but I only thought of him as a friend and didn't notice the signs, even though everyone else told me. It was clear he didn't like my boyfriend.
Then, shortly after, I broke up with my boyfriend. The guy pulled back a bit from my life too. But barely two weeks after the breakup, at a party, he was a bit tipsy and asked me twice to kiss him. He told me how good I smelled, showered me with compliments, and said he’d never talked to anyone as well as he does with me. He even gave me his hoodie. He said he knows that part of the reason I broke up with my boyfriend was because of him. Later, we went back into the house, talked some more, and ended up sleeping together. In the morning, he even left with my hair tie on his wrist.
I was a bit confused, but that evening he called me and said: 'Let’s just be friends because I don’t want to ruin the friend group. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want a girlfriend from this circle. Don’t call me anymore and let’s not go anywhere just the two of us.' But he added that I could still send him photos and tell him whenever something happens to me.
I didn't understand what was going on. The next day, Sunday, we didn't text at all. Then on Monday, I sent him a Reel, and he replied INSTANTLY. That night, I invited him to a group hangout; he called me and was flirting again. Sometimes I send him Reels, and he always replies immediately, often in a flirty way. It turned out later that he never actually liked my girlfriend—it was just an excuse to start talking to me. Unfortunately, I feel like I've fallen in love with him now💔

( Repost)
So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years. We agree on most future plans, except children. I have never really wanted children. I don’t believe I have the maternal desire to ever have one, and he has known this since the beginning. However, he is convinced that he can change my mind. I know we are young but I’m not sure what to do. On one hand I love this man with everything in my heart and he is the future I want. But on the another I know that this issue will catch up to me and it will hurt so much when it does. So any advice is appreciated. Also please ignore the name I made this account when I was younger and don’t know how to change the name!

So I had a crush on this guy in my class since the start of y12 and I was in a relationship start of y12 which ended late September due to diff colleges.then I wasn't interested in anything for a while then I met another guy in January we dated for while but we didn't work (he cheated) and this ended recently.

Then I became freinds with someone in my class who was freinds with the guy I've had a crush on for a while and I said to her I was into him and she was like oh do you want me too see if he's into you so she spoke to him and she went through everyone in our class and I was the only one he said he'd be maybe interested in and she told him I was interested in him so he said yeah he'd like to get too know me.

He started liking my stories he didn't make a move for a while and then he started snapping me I text him asking why he was off and if he was okay and we just kept tallking he came out his shell and started sending vns back and then the next morning he went dry we stopped texting still snapping.

I got my freind to speak to him about what was going on and he said that he was worried it would be awkward cause we're in the same class and we've never spoke and because I dated his freind 2years ago. His snaps got slower so I just bit the bullet and text him if he was interested in something happening between us and he said no he doesn't want a relationship at the minute (he's never had a gf) although I was nice and he was sorry for giving mixed signals and I could approach him whenever I wanted.

I responded and he just gave me a thumbs up.

I'm now really confused on what's going on is that it I thought he was into me did he just change his mind.

I dont know how to go about this.. like should i say something and give it the opportunity to be fixed or should i just call it over and initiate a break up?
we’ve been dating for about a year now and the first few months were hard, i couldn’t actually tell if he liked me once we started dating.. there has been a lot of silence between us in weird ways but he brushes off because we basically are together every day. I know it can be unhealthy to be around someone every day but i dont think itd bother me as much if we at least had better communication when we’re away from each other, i honestly feel out of sight out of mind when it comes to him and he can act so cold for no reason. For example: he picked me up from work and i asked the usual questions like “how is your day going,” whatd you do,” and etc, he gave me short vague answers. There has been times he wouldn’t even ask me back but on this specific day i was doing the run down of questions and i bring up his dry responses and ask if anything was wrong to which he replied that i was asking too many questions.. that hurt my feelings because i was only asking about his day and things. I stopped asking about the silence honestly, there was a time where he picked me up and as I mentioned there would just be silence, if i dont ask about his day and things then we just dont talk, there was no affection when i first entered his car, like hi baby and then a kiss. I just got in and let it play out. We didnt talk, he didnt even look at me, i didnt initiate conversation this time and we went the ride without a word, went into his house and sat down without a word, eventually i asked him why doesnt he check in on me when i go silent like i do for him and he just says basically we’re together everyday and talking isnt needed. Another thing thats stands out to me the most is the fact that if im not with him i literally barely hear from him lol. Of course we dont have to text all day but not even check up messages or calls or anything a lot of times im the one left on delivered. Even when he talks about his future and the things he wants to accomplish I genuinely dont feel apart of it, he’d say “i just want to build my mom a house,“ and follow with “i cant wait to build my- our house” little things like that stick out to me because a lot of times i literally cant tell if he genuinely likes me so i try to look for it in the tiniest details.. its not all bad he can be lovable and affectionate but when he’s not he’s cold. There was a time he picked me up and took me home with him and i was chilling in his room and noticed he hasnt came up so i went looking for him to find him in the bathroom, i ended up sitting in the living room to wait for him and when he got out the bathroom he just looked at me and kept walking, which at first wasnt really a big issue, until he went upstairs and showered and when he came back down he looked at me and asked me wtf am i sitting around moping around for and kept on walking. I was gonna say something smart but i honestly just didn’t, when i got in the car (because he was taking me to work) he asked me whats wrong with me and i asked him back to which i got nothing and then as usual another silent ride. We got to my job and usually we kiss before i leave and when i said bye and turned to look at him he didnt even lean in so i just left and i cried on the way to the door.

Though, this is my first relationship i still have had my share of relations. Id like to say i know when someone isn’t right for me and for the longest ive tried to wait it out because i felt he was going through a lot and has a lot on his mind but then i realized that i just most likely am not a priority in his life. He has all these other things that he thinks about daily and im not one of them, i can confidently list all the things he essentially cares about but i cant confidently say that im one of them. I dont know how to end it, if i should, if this is something tha can be worked out but i dont want to feel like im begging for love and understanding. Idk what id say to my family because i dont wish to make him look bad hes a good partner when it comes to most of the bare minimum things like idk paying for our food or taking me to work when hes able to, sometimes hed take me out on a date. But as a lover i cant say the same, i feel lonely and left in the dark and unloved and uncared for. I feel like hes under concerned about me and i just believe that he doesnt actually love me and probably doesnt realize it himself. So what should i do?

I [19F] have been with my boyfriend for 6 months.
When we are together in person, it’s like a fairytale. He is genuinely the sweetest and most caring guy I’ve ever met.

The problem is the moments in between seeing each other.

He lives about a 40 minute drive away. In the 6 months we’ve been together, I’ve only seen him irl about 11 times. I’m a student with a lot of workload too, yet I’m always the one trying to coordinate schedules.

Last month, I noticed him pulling away. He was giving slower replies, zero enthusiasm.

When I asked him about it he got really emotional and said he’s "mad at himself for the distance he’s creating." He told me he’s "avoidant," scared to get too close, and "not good at relationships." He said he loved me and promised to work on it.

Fast forward to this month,I pointed out that 11 visits in 6 months for a 40-minute distance is making me miss him loads but i understand he’s busy. So i suggested calling more since we don't see each other, and his response was that he "doesn’t really like calling" and could maybe manage once a week.

I feel like he’s using the "avoidant" label as a shield so I can’t ask for basic consistency without it being "pressuring" him.

I don’t want to give up on someone I care about, but I feel like I’m asking for the bare minimum and getting told it’s too much. Is he actually scared of intimacy, or am I just a "convenience" girlfriend when he has nothing better to do?

TL;DR; My boyfriend (19) says he’s avoidant, scared of getting too close, and “bad at relationships.” He becomes distant over text/calls even though he’s very loving in person. We’ve only seen each other about 11 times in 6 months despite living 40 minutes apart, and when I asked for more calls he said maybe once a week. I can’t tell if this is genuine fear of intimacy or if he’s just not invested enoug

Okay so, I lowkey like this guy but he's had like 2 long term exes. (The recent one cheated on him - they've been broken up for about a year now).

The thing is he always knows what to say and wtv and it just makes me insecure about how I won't be confident and how I'll compare myself to his exes.

I feel really bad about it but he's such a good guy.

I feel like even though I like him I won't be able to date him because I'm just scared like that

So, I (M20) have a crush on a girl (F22). We both play at the same sports club so we see each other a fair bit, and when we do, we always really get on and have a great conversation, just generally a really good time with each other. When a large group from the club went out the other night, we were even dancing together for most of the night, and I even gave her a lift home after. I can't help but feel there's some kind of connection between us. But she has a boyfriend, they've been together for 3 years, they're buying a house together, it's obviously a very serious and committed relationship, and there's no way I can be with her because of it.

But I just can't get over her. She is genuinely everything I could ever want, she's incredible, so it hurts so much that I'll never get to have that with her. And the weirdest thing is, I know this, I guess I've even accepted it, but I just can't get past it. I can't fall for anyone else because she's the only one I think about.

I can't stop seeing her because we go to the same sports club so that's not really an option. But I need some way to get over this, every time I see her it hurts and I can't go on like that.

TLDR: my dream girl has a boyfriend, but I just can't get her out of my head.

he didn’t do anything wrong there was no breaking point i just flew abroad for a vacation (without him) and started feeling repulsed and like i should break up with him. i dont know why but the warmer it gets and the closer summer is i get less and less happy about being in a relationship (with him or overal i don’t really know) it’s not even that i want to have sexual interactions with other people it’s just that i want to be able to have the thrill of flirting with other people and being chased and sexually desired, but also i don’t like the idea of breaking up with him cause i like the way things are on paper (mine family likes him, his family likes me, i really like his mum) i just think he takes it more seriously then me but then again i don’t want to leave him and just a few weeks back i was able to see myself eventually get married to him if everything works out. we are together a bit more than two months and before we got together i had my doubts as well about getting into a realitionship and him (not that he had red flags we was really nice and obsessed with me) i did start an SSRI because of anxiety and panic disorder so i don’t know if that can have a play in it or what is happening and what i should do because i honestly don’t know and even if i were to break up with him i have absolutely no idea how i would do it since i don’t want to hurt him and i don’t really have an explanation of why i feel like this since i don’t know myself

edit: this is also both of ours first relationship

TL;DR

I randomly started feeling repulsed by my boyfriend after going abroad alone, even though he did nothing wrong. I miss the thrill of flirting and feeling desired, especially with summer coming, but I also don’t want to lose the comfort/stability of the relationship. We’ve only been together 2 months and I already had doubts before dating him. I also recently started SSRI, so I’m wondering if that’s affecting my feelings too. I’m confused and don’t know if I actually want to break up or not.

So this guy and I have been snapping each other for about 6 months now. We have talked off and on. Sometimes we go weeks without saying any words to each other. He came over within the first a couple months, a few times. Then just started making excuses on not hanging out. Then complained that nobody wants to go be outside at all especially in the nice weather and I told him that I would spend all day outside if I had more friends to do it with. Then it just there. I offered to take him to one of my favorite hiking spots and he said he would like that. Then I asked if he wanted to go and he said when he got free time yea and I told him to just let me know when he gets it. It’s been a few weeks and he has stayed inside on nice days and never reaches out. The few nights ago he opened up more to me but then it just ended there.

Idk what to do. We both agreed we weren’t wanting a relationship. Like I’m curious on if he is scared or something. Does he just not like me? Like why can’t we just hang out as friends?

Problem/Goal: I (F) have had a crush on this girl for about 10 years. She’s my college classmate before and part of my barkada. We didn’t really have any communication for years, but we met again around June 2025 to attend our friends wedding. When we reconnected, it honestly felt the same—same comfort, same care, same “connection” I can’t really explain. She even showed me the necklace I gave her 10 years ago. Man, she still has it.

Context: Last week, we met again to attend our barkada’s baby shower. To make the story short, I drove her home. While I was driving, she said something like “adto ta Malagos?” (let’s go to Malagos), and I asked her “now?” I couldn’t because I had another errand. She said “oo karon” and mentioned she had puppies she wanted to show me and asked if I wanted to see them. I told her maybe next time.

After I dropped her off, she messaged me saying:
“thank you, see you. bisitahi ko if you want.”

Now here’s where I get confused.

When we’re together in person, it feels like she wants me around and is comfortable with me—like she’s inviting me to do things and spend time with her. But when we text, she sometimes takes the whole day to reply.

So I’m stuck thinking:
• Am I just reading too much into her actions when we’re together?
• Or is it normal for someone to be warm in person but slow in texting?
• Or am I just biased because I still like her?

I’m honestly trying to figure out if I’m seeing real signals or just projecting my feelings again. Has anyone experienced something like this? Especially with girls who are warm in person but not really responsive over chat?
Would appreciate any honest POV. Thank you.

Hi guys, I’m 17F and I know this seems like a really pathetic and childish situation, i genuinely would appreciate any advice because I have no idea what to do.
I met this guy in 2024 (let’s call him tim) and we pretty much instantly got close. By august 2024, we were both best friends and I started realising I had feelings for him but I tried to push it down so it wouldn’t ruin our friendship. I’ve had so many amazing friendships in my life and I’m grateful for everyone and love them so much, but this friendship i had with him was so much more different. We could tell each other everything and hes not the type to open up and show the sweet/affectionate side of him to people typically. In October 2024, he told me that one of his closest friends (call him ben) liked him and I was interested in that ben before I even met tim so I told tim that Ive always found ben attractive. Me and ben started talking and it ended in a month. Ben did not take it well and started spreading rumours that I lead him on. Whilst me and ben were talking, tim and I stopped talking. We started talking after me and Ben’s thing ended and we got even closer. Me and Tim would Spotify jam to sleep, call for hour’s everyday and just talk 24/7 and he would tell me that meeting me and his other bestfriend (lets call him sean, he becomes relevant later) was the best part of his year. I was too scared to tell him and ruin our friendship so I just let it continue this way. Tim had mentioned casually that he thought I was one of the prettiest girls in the year (btw that is NOT true) so i genuinely thought I had some sort of chance. Sometime in January 2025, I get dry replies, once a day. I freak out and figure out that hes found out I’m interested and decide I have to get over him. As school starts I meet this guy in a year above and start dating him a month later. I know I was in the wrong for this but i genuinely believed that I was over Tim in the romantic sense and only missed him platonically. My friendship with Tim deteriorates and I start getting close with sean (whilst dating my ex). When I broke up with my ex (he cheated) I was genuinely happy for a day and then the next, the full force of what happened between me and Tim hit like a freaking truck. I realised what had happened and genuinely I was so upset. 99% of the time when I would talk to my friends about it, they’d brush me off and start talking about how its not as bad as their situation which made me feel really upset and embarrassed I let myself get into this situation. Sean would give me advice about Tim when I broke up with my ex (June 2025) and sean told me that Tim told him he never had any sort of feelings but that he did think that there was no way Tim felt like it was only friends. In august 2025 I realise that tim has genuinely maintained every other friendship with every other girl and I end up getting so upset I block him on all platforms, because by then, we had stopped talking and he had a girlfriend (they started dating in June 2025). We didn’t talk for 3 months, until eventually sean brought both of us together and we talk. I couldn’t mention my more than friendship feelings because he had a girlfriend. I told him I was so confused that he just randomly started talking to me less and drifting and that i genuinely saw him as a close friend. He replied by saying that he considered me to be his bestfriend too but that he didn’t realise we stopped talking until it was too late and then he didn’t want to intrude when I got a boyfriend and that he told our mutual friend he was sad that me and him stopped talking. He asked me “when did you think about this, js it when you broke up with your ex?” And I told him that it was “ever since January”. He says he thinks it’ll be easy to get back what we had, maybe even closer. Fast forward to the 2026. Him and his gf break up and he tells me that he was more sad about the fact he didn’t care that the fact they broke up. We had an event we both were part of and during break we sat down alone and he asked me to update him on everything he had missed. I told him about my ex, and the premise was that how I didn’t even know the guy even on a casual friend level. He replies with “same, me and you were closer than my ex”. We gossip for the next day and I mention something about “kissing my ex felt pretty plain” and I don’t know if I’m overthinking it but the next time we talked, he was a bit cold. I didn’t really want to tell my friends, but my friend asked me in private if I also noticed that Tim was acting cold? Now, me and him are still “friends” but when I walk past him, shit, I force myself not to look because I know that seeing him not look back will hurt so much worse. Again, don’t know if I’m overthinking, but sometimes I’m about to say hi and he just walks past without even looking. We don’t talk online and I constantly get told that he doesn’t act distant at all to his other girl friends, in fact he gossips with them and talks to them constantly. I’m happy that he has the friends he deserves, but shit it hurts so much to see he hasn’t put the same effort into me and his. I genuinely wish no ill on him but this has been killing me inside out ever since last year. Sean tells me to not confess and that Tim did mention that he did have feelings for me, but two weeks later he said that “I can’t see her as more than a friend”. I respect that completely. I feel like even though I think I might love him, I’m way way way more upset about everything in the platonic sense, I don’t get why he could do that if we were bestfriends. I don’t think his explanation adds up and I do want to protect his peace by not confessing but I think this is the only way to let go of him. What do you guys think?

Title: Need advice: 6-year relationship vs new connection — I feel lost

Hi everyone, I could really use some outside perspective because I feel stuck and don’t trust my own judgment right now.

I am from South America. I’ve been with my girlfriend (Polish) for 6 years. We met in her country while I was on vacation, then built a long-distance relationship for about 1 year during just before and during COVID-19 times when I went back to my country, and eventually I moved to Poland to live with her.

Our relationship has had ups and downs from the beginning:

• at the very start of the relationship, she had a sexual experience with a friend while we were together
• she has tried to break up several times due to uncertainty about her sexuality (she is bisexual)
• she also tried to end the relationship when I moved to Europe
• in practice, if I hadn’t gone back to see her after she warned me online, the relationship probably would not have continued

Last year she almost ended things again because she claimed she did not have enough experiences with girls, and that’s when I proposed an open relationship. In practice, I was the only one who actually explored it.

I’ve also felt quite alone at times. I bought a flat here in Poland and had to deal with contractors, stress, logistics, renovation work, and everything that comes with it. She is Polish, but she didn’t really help much in those situations. I ended up doing most things myself (cleaning after renovation, DIY work, coordination), and even with small things like translating or negotiating with contractors in her language, she helped only occasionally. She would sometimes do lighter tasks (like painting once), but overall I often felt I was carrying it alone.

We don’t usually fight, but we also don’t talk that much in general.

About 7–8 weeks ago, I met another girl — she is Ukrainian — during that open-relationship phase.

Since then, we’ve been seeing each other regularly. We dance tango together, and with her the connection feels incredibly natural — I’ve never felt that kind of flow dancing with anyone else. I had suggested tango to my girlfriend before, but she didn’t enjoy it.

This new girl even suggested we practice just the two of us, and we ended up dancing alone in the park, which we both really liked. We’ve gone out for coffee, movies, a concert, etc., and she has invited me to her flat.

There have been small moments that felt meaningful but still unclear:

• she gave me a small angel “to protect me” at the movies
• we briefly held hands (just a few seconds), which didn’t feel purely platonic
• Dancing tango in a quiet area of the park

She knows I have a girlfriend. She has also said she doesn’t want to be “the girl who breaks relationships,” and even suggested that at some point we could all meet together. She mentioned she once lost a friend because his girlfriend made him choose between her and the friend. She has also shared that her father was unfaithful and not a good role model in relationships, which seems to influence how she views commitment and trust. She is also a very devout Christian with clear expectations about relationships (faith, marriage, etc.).

One thing that stands out is that she actively helps me in daily situations (like translating in classes or events), while I often felt alone dealing with things with my girlfriend. Also, I naturally talk a lot with her, while communication with my girlfriend feels more limited.

Now things are complicated.

I told my girlfriend that I’ve been thinking about this other girl and that it’s been affecting me. She thanked me for being honest, but things have clearly changed between us.

She also saw private messages I wrote to AI about possibly ending the relationship. I had not planned to tell her about this until I had more clarity about my situation and my feelings, but she discovered it, and it opened a box of problems I didn’t want to bring into the relationship at that moment. She does not want to leave me, but I am now in a state of doubt with ambivalent thoughts, and the emotional tension between us has increased significantly.

Emotionally, I feel:

• disconnected from my girlfriend
• very connected to this new girl
• but unsure if this is real or just intensity/novelty

There’s also a practical side:

If I leave my girlfriend and pursue this:

• both the new girl and I are foreigners here
• we might need to leave the country eventually

Part of me sees that as a problem, but another part sees it as freedom:

• I could be closer to my family
• I own a flat in my home country (no debt)
• I’d be in a better financial situation

But that would also mean:

• selling my flat in Poland
• potentially losing money
• and taking a big risk on something uncertain

So I feel like I’m choosing between:

• a 6-year relationship with history, but emotional distance and unresolved tension vs
• a new, intense, very natural connection, but with a lot of uncertainty

Help me to clarify my decisions. I feel too ambiguous.