u/FeedbackSalty7805

I (27F) am in a 5-year relationship with my boyfriend (28M) who I genuinely love. He’s my best friend, my safe place, the person who has always been there for me when life gets hard. We talk about marriage, kids, future trips, all of it. We barely ever fight (we built amazing communication and understanding towards each other with time) On paper, nothing is “wrong.”

But over the last year or so, the spark/attraction has slowly faded. We both face difficult situations in our respective carreer, evenings are usually just decompressing, weekends are errands/resting, sex drive got super low, things feel very routine. I still feel emotionally connected to him, but not necessarily excited in the same way anymore.

And now there’s this guy I see through work maybe once a week (different company, professional setting). Nothing inappropriate has happened at all. We barely even flirt, it’s mostly just occasional jokes and conversations/eye contact. But there’s definitely tension/chemistry there and I can feel it every time we interact.

He’s really smart, very handsome, compliments my work a lot (we are collaborating on a common project, but out company is more on the production side) and apparently even my coworkers noticed he seems into me, and sometimes tease me after the meetings when i got complimented. I catch myself looking forward to meetings with him and sometimes leaving with a stupid little smile afterward. Which makes me feel SO guilty because I have literally never had a crush like this while being in a relationship.

Those thoughts have been there for the last two months and they have started to feel more intense for the last two weeks or so.

The thing is: I don’t actually know this guy that well. It’s rationally know this is mostly about fantasy/chemistry/novelty. I’m not planning to act on anything. But the fact that I’m daydreaming about someone else at all is making me question everything.

Is this just what happens in long-term relationships sometimes? Like getting attached to the feeling of excitement and being desired again? Or is this a sign something deeper is missing in my relationship?

Late 20s if that matters.

TL;DR: I’m in a loving 5-year relationship with my best friend, but the spark has faded over time. Recently developed a strong crush/chemistry with a guy I see through work once a week (nothing has happened and I don’t plan to act on it), and now I’m questioning whether this is just normal long-term relationship boredom + novelty, or a sign something deeper is missing. Losing my head and constantly daydreaming.

Hi everyone,

I’m an architect (GVA) with ~3 years of experience, and I’m seriously questioning whether to stay in the field. I’d really value feedback from people who’ve been through this or know adjacent paths.

It feels like more than just “early career difficulty.”

Main issues:

Time pressure & unrealistic deadlines
Projects are always urgent and understaffed. Deadlines don’t match the workload, and I constantly feel late despite long days, evenings, and some weekends. Overtime is supposed to be recovered, but I don’t see when.

Coordination overload
Most of my time goes into managing engineers/contractors, chasing info, fixing inconsistencies, and dealing with miscommunication — not designing.

Responsibility without control
High responsibility (technical, compliance, coordination) but little control over key decisions, especially when imposed constraints don’t make sense.

Admin burden
Permits, norms, and compliance take up a huge amount of time — often feels like bureaucracy over building.

Execution > design
I miss the conceptual side (ideas, competitions). In practice, it’s mostly detailing and making things work.

Generalist gap & office culture
Working with specialists makes me feel like I lack deep expertise (impostor feeling). There’s also limited guidance, little feedback, and pressure to “figure it out.”

This is affecting me quite a lot: poor sleep, constant stress (even weekends), thinking about work at night — and recently feeling completely exhausted.

I don’t think this is sustainable long-term.

What’s confusing is I still like architecture — but more the creative/academic side. The day-to-day reality feels very far from that.

So I’m considering moving toward a specialized field, like fire safety / fire protection:

– Training seems accessible
– Work looks more structured/technical (possibly less ambiguity/stress)

But I have questions:

– Is the job market stable / in demand?
– Can you realistically work independently right after qualifying (e.g. part-time)?
– Salary vs architecture?
– Has anyone shifted away from architecture for similar reasons or into a niche role and found better balance?

I’m trying to find something sustainable without fully giving up what I originally liked about architecture.

Thanks a lot — any insight would really help 🙏