I dont think my boyfriend actually likes me..
I dont know how to go about this.. like should i say something and give it the opportunity to be fixed or should i just call it over and initiate a break up?
we’ve been dating for about a year now and the first few months were hard, i couldn’t actually tell if he liked me once we started dating.. there has been a lot of silence between us in weird ways but he brushes off because we basically are together every day. I know it can be unhealthy to be around someone every day but i dont think itd bother me as much if we at least had better communication when we’re away from each other, i honestly feel out of sight out of mind when it comes to him and he can act so cold for no reason. For example: he picked me up from work and i asked the usual questions like “how is your day going,” whatd you do,” and etc, he gave me short vague answers. There has been times he wouldn’t even ask me back but on this specific day i was doing the run down of questions and i bring up his dry responses and ask if anything was wrong to which he replied that i was asking too many questions.. that hurt my feelings because i was only asking about his day and things. I stopped asking about the silence honestly, there was a time where he picked me up and as I mentioned there would just be silence, if i dont ask about his day and things then we just dont talk, there was no affection when i first entered his car, like hi baby and then a kiss. I just got in and let it play out. We didnt talk, he didnt even look at me, i didnt initiate conversation this time and we went the ride without a word, went into his house and sat down without a word, eventually i asked him why doesnt he check in on me when i go silent like i do for him and he just says basically we’re together everyday and talking isnt needed. Another thing thats stands out to me the most is the fact that if im not with him i literally barely hear from him lol. Of course we dont have to text all day but not even check up messages or calls or anything a lot of times im the one left on delivered. Even when he talks about his future and the things he wants to accomplish I genuinely dont feel apart of it, he’d say “i just want to build my mom a house,“ and follow with “i cant wait to build my- our house” little things like that stick out to me because a lot of times i literally cant tell if he genuinely likes me so i try to look for it in the tiniest details.. its not all bad he can be lovable and affectionate but when he’s not he’s cold. There was a time he picked me up and took me home with him and i was chilling in his room and noticed he hasnt came up so i went looking for him to find him in the bathroom, i ended up sitting in the living room to wait for him and when he got out the bathroom he just looked at me and kept walking, which at first wasnt really a big issue, until he went upstairs and showered and when he came back down he looked at me and asked me wtf am i sitting around moping around for and kept on walking. I was gonna say something smart but i honestly just didn’t, when i got in the car (because he was taking me to work) he asked me whats wrong with me and i asked him back to which i got nothing and then as usual another silent ride. We got to my job and usually we kiss before i leave and when i said bye and turned to look at him he didnt even lean in so i just left and i cried on the way to the door.
Though, this is my first relationship i still have had my share of relations. Id like to say i know when someone isn’t right for me and for the longest ive tried to wait it out because i felt he was going through a lot and has a lot on his mind but then i realized that i just most likely am not a priority in his life. He has all these other things that he thinks about daily and im not one of them, i can confidently list all the things he essentially cares about but i cant confidently say that im one of them. I dont know how to end it, if i should, if this is something tha can be worked out but i dont want to feel like im begging for love and understanding. Idk what id say to my family because i dont wish to make him look bad hes a good partner when it comes to most of the bare minimum things like idk paying for our food or taking me to work when hes able to, sometimes hed take me out on a date. But as a lover i cant say the same, i feel lonely and left in the dark and unloved and uncared for. I feel like hes under concerned about me and i just believe that he doesnt actually love me and probably doesnt realize it himself. So what should i do?