r/PakistaniiConfessions

Trust me please trust me it DOES get better. No matter how distressing and unsettling your situation is rn, it’ll get better.

You are a champ and you’d fight through everything, just never give up now matter how harrowing your life is. Even being optimistic and thinking positive helps a lot, Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bear and I’d want you guys to remember this one like k Allah sirf unhi pr azmaishien daalta jinse wo behadh pyar krta hay. I have been thru shit loads of disconcerting and awful things from 2022-2025, i resorted to self harm i just wanted to unalive myself bec the pain was too too much, im glad i survived bec things eventually did get better….Alhumdullilah for the pain that brought me closer to Allah . Trials are just a test of faith sometimes

“ The more a person is loved by Allah, the more they may be tested”

Ik it might not make sense but take it as a blessing as hardships are never meaningless they just bring you closer to Allah and are a part of deeper spiritual purpose.

I really hope whoever is struggling to live and cope up with pain feels better and find happiness in this duniya and akhirah, Ameen ❤️‍🩹

https://www.reddit.com/r/PakistaniiConfessions/comments/1sivllc/title_first_date_tomorrow_and_im_lowkey_freaking/

its going to be a bit long but im sorry read it if you have time

We were in a relationship —never met in person, but we were real. We broke up, but she came back saying she misses me, wants to be friends, maybe more "if things go well." So when she invited that possibility back in, I decided to show up. Actually show up.We have been talking of meeting each other and on call she was genuinly so excited , told me she will show around every part of her campus , then we'll go there , we'll have auto she'll bargain for me it felt so cute that i actually showed up . She said come on sunday

I traveled 60km. I woke up without eating. I handpicked a bouquet of sunflowers for her. The whole journey I was messaging her, asking if she's ready —she couldn't believe I was actually coming. That should've told me something, but I kept going because I meant it.

When I arrived near her hostel, she went cold. Started replying late. Asked me to "send a picture fast" like she thought I was bluffing. I sent one of the canteen right outside her hostel. She said she's also there and can't see me obvious lie. Then a while later: "I saw you. I don't think that im ready to meet you . I'm sorry. You can go back." After that i started convincing her to which she replied "I dont think you are my type, we are different person idk what shit who says that im literally 800 m away from her hostel 😭😭

I asked her to just come down, sit with me, eat something. I hadn't eaten all day atleast friends can eat together She said no. Then she said we can't even be friends anymore cause she loves me?😭😭

Here's the thing : I asked her what colour shirt I was wearing. She couldn't answer. She never came to the window. She never saw me. She lied about that too.

I'm standing outside with sunflowers I picked myself, hungry, 60km from home, and she's telling me I'm not her type when she didnt even seee me bruh

current update : she said she tried but it was very overwhelming for her to come and see me irl idk man please help me what to do

I mean those that are just doing it out of boredom or can't control their lust. Too normalised these days and it's straight up weird, no I don't want to see those kind of pics lmaooo... I can't believe that people even do this on Reddit which is just wild to me.

Can we like just leave this for when we're married? Like why are you flirting with a literal stranger online? I understand if it's someone you plan on marrying but come on.. not literal strangers.. have some shame man.

I was in 6 years relationship and she yesterday confsees that I'm too good and emotionally available guy and was too nice with her. She chose some fuckboy to do sexting and sharing nudes and blame me for being good. Hahah man and she said that guy got muscles and I was about to take her abroad. God help some women.

guys and gals, ffs when we talk about male biological clock and the risks in pregnancy and child outcomes with father's age post 35 years old, it is not a competition to steer the discourse into "women have MoRe fertility decline than men" 🤦

I just got banned from a sub because I highlighted the importance of paternal age for healthy pregnancy outcomes. Talking about male biological clock isn't about "how dare you question their ageless immortal fertility", but MORE about how partners can PLAN AHEAD to reduce all those pregnancy issues, have time to time health checkups.

Father's increasing age has been linked to miscarriages chances, difficulty in getting pregnant, diabetes in woman's pregnancy, placenta problems in easy words (pre-eclmapsia), and the outcomes on the baby too, by inherited diseases, autism, schizophrenia, etc. The statistics for risks percentages are available all over the credible Internet resources.

in this corporate world, where financial stability takes away years of our youth, it is important to BE PREPARED for this issue, both mentally, emotionally, and clinically.

​

So I recently moved to Lahore from Islamabad for a job, and last night I had one of those experiences that genuinely restored my faith in people.

I accidentally left my phone at the office, and one of my colleagues picked it up and took it home with him. No big deal… until it turned into a full adventure.

I booked a Bykea, quickly wrote my colleague’s number on a piece of paper, and headed towards Bahria. But things went sideways — we got completely lost and ended up in the wrong area. To make it worse, the number I had written down was missing a digit.

At this point it’s past midnight, I have no phone, wrong address, and no way to contact anyone properly.

But here’s the part that stayed with me — the Bykea rider.

The guy never left my side. He didn’t rush me, didn’t get annoyed, didn’t just drop me and leave. Instead, he let me use his phone, helped me figure things out, and stayed with me until I finally managed to reach my colleague and get my phone back.

All of this… at 12 AM.

People often debate which city is better — Islamabad or Lahore — but moments like this make you realize something: Lahore isn’t just a city, it’s the people.

Absolute respect for that rider. لاہور واقعی دل والوں کا شہر ہے ❤️

The deepest wounds many Pakistanis carry is the feeling that, in their own homes, appearance often mattered more than emotional truth.

A lot of families do love each other. They sacrifice, provide, protect, and stay connected in ways many other societies no longer do. But alongside that love, there is also a painful pattern that many people quietly grow up unde, the family’s public image is often treated as more urgent than the emotional well-being of the humans inside that family.

What matters is how things look, including how the marriage looks, how the children look,
how obedient everyone looks, how respectable the family appears, how well conflict is hidden and How successfully pain is kept behind closed doors.

And when a family starts organizing itself around that image instead of TRUTH,, everyone learns the same lesson and play along to "not disturb that picture". The elders teach, to stay quite, if you are hurt. They teach and preach to pray and move on in case you an anxiou. They want you to be patient, if you are being misread/ misunderstood. They exclusively force you to not over react if you are felling emotionally exhausted.

WHY? What for. Just a mare image, a fabricated projection to mislead and present as FLAWLESS. That is how many people are raised.

Not necessarily in openly cruel homes, but in homes where emotional honesty is treated like a threat to stability. The problem is not that families do not care. Very often, it is that they care more about shame, reputation, marriage prospects, social standing, and the fear of “WHAT PEOPLE WILL SAY” than they care about the invisible damage being done to a son, a daughter, a wife, or even a father/ mother.

And that is how suffering begins, SILENTLY.

A daughter might be deeply unhappy, but the family may still push her to adjust because separation would look worse than suffering. A son can be emotionally collapsing, but he will be told to stay strong because vulnerability does not fit the role expected of him. A woman can be disrespected in her marriage, but the family may focus more on preserving the relationship than understanding the toll it is taking on her dignity. A child can grow up feeling afraid, unheard, or emotionally neglected, yet still be told that they should be grateful because “everything has been provided.”

This is one of the most confusing things about many Pakistani homes, material care can exist beside emotional neglect.

You can be fed, clothed, educated, and finncially supported, and still feel compltely unseen. You can grow up in a house full of people and still never feel emotionally safe enough to speak. You can be surrounded by family and still carry loneliness that is difficult to explain, because the world assumes that family presence automatically means emotional support.

But presence is not the same as understanding. Once preserving family reputation becomes the higher priority, truth starts becoming inconvenient. Honest conversations are avoided because they may expose dysfunction. Mental health is dismissed because acknowledging it would require confronting uncomfortable realities. Conflict is buried because open repair feels riskier than controlled silence. Children are taught manners, obedience, and presentation, but not always emotional literacy, self-awareness, or healthy communication.

The result is a very specific kind of household pain, people learn how to live together without truly knowing each other. They learn how to act closeness, they learn how to maintain respect and they learn how to attend weddings together, sit at dinner together, and speak politely in public. But when it comes to emotional truth, many homes remain surprisingly fragile.

And I think many people carry guilt for recognizing this. They know their families have done a lot for them. They know there was struggle, sacrifice, and good intention. They know their parents were shaped by hardship too. So they hesitate to admit that something was deeply missing. They feel ungrateful for wanting more than food, shelter, education, and structure. They feel dramatic for wanting emotional safety, healthy boundaries, honest conversation, and the freedom to admit pain without being shamd for it.

But wanting emotional health does not make someone spoiled. It makes them human.

One of the saddest things about this pattern is how often suffering is tolerated as long as the family image remains intact. This is why so many Pakistani adults grow up emotionally confused. They were taught to respect family, but not always how to feel safe within it. They were taught to protect relationships, but not always how to repair them honestly. They were taught to avoid shame, but not how to process grief, anger, fear, disappointment, or emotional neglect in healthy ways.

So they become adults who struggle to speak directly. Adults who hide pain until it turns into resentment. Adults who feel guilty for wanting boundaries. Adults who confuse silence with respect. Adults who know how to maintain appearances, but not always how to build emotionally honest lives.

And the saddest part is that this pattern often repeats itself across generations.

Parents who were never emotionally understood may not know how to emotionally understand their children. Families that survived by suppressing pain may continue treating emotional expression as weakness. Homes that built themselves around discipline, control, and social image may genuinely believe they are protecting everyone, while quietly passing down fear, shame, and emotional distance as inheritance.

That is why this issue is bigger than individual behavior. It is cultural, generational, and deeply normalized.

In many Pakistani families, love is present, but emotional maturity is underdeveloped. Sacrifice is honored, but self-awareness is not. Respect is demanded, but emotional trust is not built with the same care. Everyone wants a united family, but few want the discomfort of the conversations required to make that unity emotionally real.

And that is the contradiction many people live inside. They love their families, but they do not feel understood by them. They want connection, but they fear honesty. They want closeness, but they have been taught that truth creates disrespect. They want emotional safety, but the entire household has been built around performance, duty, and control.

So YES, family image matters in many Pakistani homes. Respectability matters. Reputation matters. Social standing matters. But when these things become more important than the mental and emotional well-being of the people inside the family, the home stops being a place of healing and starts becoming a place of careful emotional management.

And NO, family should feel successful on the outside while quietly breaking its own people on the inside.

Maybe that is the harder truth many of us have felt for years but struggled to say aloud, a family can look respectable to everyone else and still be emotionally unhealthy for the people living inside it. And perhaps real family strength does not come from how well pain is hidden. It comes from whether the people inside the home can tell the truth, feel safe, and still remain loved after they do.

Why people think that boys who do smoking , use vape, talk to girls , flirt with them , do drugs , use abusive language in every and normal conversions are smart , clever etc

and those boys who don't use abusive language , talk with normal words , don't do smoking , vaping , drinking etc are innocent and can't survive in this day and age and are burger boys ?

I pspspspspsspspsped a cat and it ignored me 💔💔💔

So I’m a goth girl, and I’ve been trying to make new friends , nothing crazy, just people to vibe with. But whenever I try to approach someone in person (same gender or opposite) to start a normal convo, I can literally see the tension on their faces. Like I’m an alien or something. It’s exhausting.

Online is totally different , people actually relate to me, we have good convos, and for a second I feel like I’m not so weird. But then I mention I’m goth, and suddenly the topic switches to either:

Sexual stuff (“show me your dress and thighs” etc.)

Religious lectures (“you’re not a real Muslim,” “you worship the devil,” “you’re possessed by a jinn”)

Like… I just want friends. Normal, respectful friends. What do I even do at this point? 😭

TL;DR: Goth girl can’t make friends IRL because people act like she’s an alien, and online people either get creepy or preachy when she mentions she’s goth.

So my sister got divorced. It’s all for the better because the guy is TRASH (refuses to pay child maintenance, “stole” her money, her clothes, and even her kids clothes/toys from her dowry back.

Anyways, we want to get back at him.

Suggest some harmless pranks, or not so harmless ways we can get back at him.

Her ex- father-in-law was recently caught having sn affair with a woman. I was thinking of making a fake profile on facebook and try to reach out to them…

idk where to rant about it but i have failed. failed to be with the person i wanted. failed to convince my parents. the situations were too messed up. but sometimes we are helpless we can fight with everyone else not with our parents. cant be too cold towards them at this age. the thought of agar inko kuch ho gaya to just ruins everything. i feel like a failure i gave up on my life i dont feel anything anymore. will this feeling end.

The feeling of ruining someone's life kills me from inside. i guess i wasnt the man she wanted me to be. i couldnt abandon my family.

​

"Aristotle argued that a 'Polis' (city-state) exists for the sake of a 'good life,' not just for the sake of life. In Pakistan, we have reduced the 'good life' to a transaction.

We produce doctors who don’t want to heal, engineers who don’t want to build, and students who don’t want to learn,only to trade their degrees for a ticket out. We are an intellectual colony that exports its best minds and imports its worst ideologies.

When the mind of a nation is in London, Toronto, or Melbourne, but the body is in Lahore or Karachi, does the nation even exist? Or is Pakistan just a geographic ghost of what could have been?"

kya 20's aisy hi hoti hein?

khaali pan, nakami ka darr, kuch na kr pany ka regret, jesy kuch na ho raha ho aap ruk chuky ho, koi baat krny k liye na ho, feelings aisi ho k khud ko bhi smjh nhi aa raha hota k yeh hai kiya? Kuch smjh naa aa raha ho k aagy kya Hoga? khoye khoye rehna

kya sab isi phase sy guzarty hein ya i am the only who is going through this?

Growing up, we always heard and read about black vs white, right vs wrong and good vs evil. And that’s exactly how we usually categorise things and experiences in our day-to-day lives. They are either positive or negative.

That’s the same approach I used to apply to humans as well. For me, there were either good people or bad ones and nothing in between. Initially, I would keep people on the good list. But any one or two negative experiences would lead me to throw them into the other category. The category I wouldn’t want to be with, interact with or want to be associated with. But now, as a 25-year-old, I have a very different perspective on this.

One fine day, I was having a usual introspective session with myself. I was reflecting on my habits and behavioural patterns that I don’t feel good about and want to improve at. And at that very exact moment, a thought hit my mind.

Over the course of my life, I have come across several people. Some of those would have had a good experience with me, and in someone’s life, I would have been difficult - a villain. But what does it make me? A good person or a bad one? Will I lie on the whiter side or the black side of the human conduct evaluationary metric?

On further introspection, I realized that I am neither of them. I am not an angel (which I once thought I was XD), so everyone would have had just positive encounters with me. And not a devil, which no human wants to be intentionally in the first place. Everyone would have met a version of me based on the circumstances, mutual rapport and individual growth spectrum, which I believe applies to every human. So, humans are not black or white, but grey - a mix of both.

We are flawed, having both the good and evil within us. But the dominant is what actually makes the difference. So, it should never be about “good vs bad”, but the shade of grey. Instead of thinking from a good vs evil mindset, figure out if that shade of grey sits well with you.

So the Mrs is at the in-laws.. just finished watching invisible, just chilling.. with an empty cup of tea having big brother vibes so go ahead ask or discuss anything ud want an elder brother's advice on..

just don't make it vulgar..

ask real questions ud like advice on and I'd try to deliver the best I can.

okay guys so iam in last semester of university, and theres a guy from another department, hes junior, like hes in 4th semester, and out of nowhere hes interested in me, i dont know why, how, he doesn't know me enough, and he approached a girl whos a friend of mine(not much close friend) and that girl is in the circle of that guy aswell, he approached her and said to soft launch him in front of me.

she ignored one two times, and then told me, i straight up said that iam not interested in any kind of thing, she also said i told that guy to reach me out on his own, and don't involve her , as she cant do anything, and that guy is asking questions from the girl if iam engaged or committed, tell me what to say if the guy approached, as iam not interested in him at all. how to politely refuse.

So yesterday I told my mom about how i needed to clean my study table (about 5'5 by 4'5 im guessing less than 20kg) because a stray cat pissed on it and its been bothering tf out of me (another lore😔) she said and i repeat "fine then do it tomorrow since youll have nothing else to do". Now the thing is Ive to push the study table about 15 to 18 feet towards the gallery so i can wash it.

So obviously today as soon as i woke up, I just wanted to get things done and get it out the way. So i tell my mom "Im going to take my table out so will you help me" she says yes. so after i take things off the table she says "why are you doing this today?" "you know im usually busy on sundays cleaning the house so why are you doing it today" so obv i retort "but you told me to" to whoch she replies "why are you lying".

So to give a short summary on mom, she has extreme ocd(undiagnosed but we know) so shes always spending the first hours after waking up in cleaning the entire house, edge by edge, we have maids as well to help her but they usually either leave on their own or get fired because of how she keeps pointing out how theyre not cleaning properly. That i get but when i tell you we have not been able to keep one for longer than 8 months because either theyre too tired of her scolding or she lets them go because theyre not doing proper work. We have probably had about 6 new ones this year alone. So you can tell shes pretty much all about keeping the house clean 24/7.

It was the same today, maybe even much more so since its sunday and no helpers around. So shes cleaning and i tell her i want to clean my desk. I DID NOT ASK HER TO HELP ME CLEAN JUST IF SHE CAN HELP ME MOVE THE DESK. She agrees. So now i start moving my desk simce shes busy mopping the floor and expect that shell help me somewhere in the middle. But instead she starts yelling at no one in particular that "she(for me) couldnt wait" "she doesnt care about me in the slightest" "she hates me" "she just wants to torture me". Mind you i just woke tf up and wanted to get things done. But now she keeps yelling at how idgaf about her and that she should just end her life. like why did she tell me to move it today??? And now she keeps talking about how she NEVER TOLD THAT. She says that she just said to do that on monday when we have a helper around. And i know for a fact thats not what she told BECAUAE THAT ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT YESTERDAY so i know its not right. Im just so confused.

So for a sum up i woke up wanted to clean my desk so i asked for help to move it then she says yes. I start moving the desk out of my room atp and shes pissed that i did that because she said its burdening her (cant remeber the right word she used) and she starts saying that im lying and she never told me that. i did not expect her to help me when i started pushing the shelf when she was cleaning becauae i just wanted to be quick but ig she felt burdened and annoying that i coulsnt wait for her? like its just a desk idg why its such a bigndeal. Then she suddently leaves her cleaning to help me and angrily takes it to the gallery. After that she goes "you guys dont care about me" "when did i tell you that" "i should just kill myslef" like atp im honestly so tired mentally. it was just a desk?

i think it is a fact that she was overworked and overwhelmed since she has been cleaning the house for quite some time. but when we do think to help, she doesnt want it. i dont know what to do. This is occurring often enough and idk what to do. She gets overwhlemed so easily and forgets things. She either has no time foe a doctlrs visit or when she does go theyre pretty uselsss. I was lowk so confused how moving a desk ended up becoming like this. If this is somewhat like you or you have experience with such a person then help me tell me what to do cuz hearing "i should just kill myself" hurts and is so frkn confusing cuz this was just a small thing to me. like idk.