The more I observe people, the less I believe in ‘good’ and ‘bad’
Growing up, we always heard and read about black vs white, right vs wrong and good vs evil. And that’s exactly how we usually categorise things and experiences in our day-to-day lives. They are either positive or negative.
That’s the same approach I used to apply to humans as well. For me, there were either good people or bad ones and nothing in between. Initially, I would keep people on the good list. But any one or two negative experiences would lead me to throw them into the other category. The category I wouldn’t want to be with, interact with or want to be associated with. But now, as a 25-year-old, I have a very different perspective on this.
One fine day, I was having a usual introspective session with myself. I was reflecting on my habits and behavioural patterns that I don’t feel good about and want to improve at. And at that very exact moment, a thought hit my mind.
Over the course of my life, I have come across several people. Some of those would have had a good experience with me, and in someone’s life, I would have been difficult - a villain. But what does it make me? A good person or a bad one? Will I lie on the whiter side or the black side of the human conduct evaluationary metric?
On further introspection, I realized that I am neither of them. I am not an angel (which I once thought I was XD), so everyone would have had just positive encounters with me. And not a devil, which no human wants to be intentionally in the first place. Everyone would have met a version of me based on the circumstances, mutual rapport and individual growth spectrum, which I believe applies to every human. So, humans are not black or white, but grey - a mix of both.
We are flawed, having both the good and evil within us. But the dominant is what actually makes the difference. So, it should never be about “good vs bad”, but the shade of grey. Instead of thinking from a good vs evil mindset, figure out if that shade of grey sits well with you.