r/OffMyChestPH

Hi. Gusto ko lang mag-rant.

yes, tama po yung title.

bigyan ko kayo ng konting background

lumipat ako sa luzon kasi kinuha ako ng sister ko kasi sabi nya siya ang mag shshoulder ng schooling ko, turns out hindi pala totoo. sinabi nya lang yon para magmukhang may kaya sa harap ng iba naming kapatid (may beef sila ng 2nd oldest child)

pinag-aral naman nya ako at nag tapos ako ng senior high, last 2024 ako grumaduate.

after nun, pinagpili nya ako ng program sa college, ang sabi ko gusto ko mag medtech, sabi nya sige. tapos nung malapit na enrollment, sabi nya mag polsci nalang daw ako or psychology which is hindi ko naman gusto.

sabi ko sa kanya di nalang muna ako mag-aaral at mag hahanap ako ng pagakaka-kitaan.

may nahanap akong side hustle nung 2024 at sobrang laki ng kita ko per month (20k lowest, 70k highest) at since then nagse-save ako para ma cover ko yung at least 6 semesters.

tumutulong parin ako sa bahay, nag aabot ako ng pera pag petsa de peligro nila (forgot to mention may LIP siya at may anak sa ibang babae yun LIP nya) nagbibigay ako pang bigas, tubig, gasul, ulam. kahit di naman ako doon kumakain. simula kasi nung di ako nag-aaral lagi niya ako sinasabihan na nagpapalaki lang ako ng katawan, walang kwenta, walang ginagawa.

pero hindi niya nakikita na araw araw akong puyat para magkaroon ng pera para sa future ko. sakin niya nilalabas lahat ng frustrations nya financially. so ayon di na ako kumakain sa bahay, most of the time bumibili lang ako sa kanto or kumakain sa karinderya. gumagawa parin ako ng gawaing bahay.

fast forward, di na gumagana yung side hustle ko, ang lala naman kasi ng economy ngayon, buti nalang may natabi akong pera. nalaman nya na may 340k savings ako, nagalit siya kasi bakit daw parang hindi ako tumutulong sa bahay. (e ako nagbabayad ng kuryente, nagbibigay pang-gas, bumibili ng pagkain ng pets nya) pero parang di niya makita yun.

tapos naghanap ako ng trabaho para may pera parin ako bukod sa savings ko, nalaman nya na 20k sweldo ko, tapos sinabi nya sakin nag-resign sha sa work. sabi nya sakin uutang nalang daw sya sakin ng pera pag may needs sya. nagulantang ako. kasi yung pera ko hindi naman para sa kanya yun, para naman sa future ko. on top of that, gusto niya daw half ng sweldo ko mapunta sa kanya kasi siya daw ang ate.

grabe yung puso ko ang sakit. nag build ako para sa future ko, tapos gagawin lang bangko ng iba.

Whenever I go to gym, lagi ako nagjejeep papunta kahit mga 5-7min walk lang siya (as a tamad haha). And simula nung tumaas yung gas, lagi na ‘kong nagbabayad nang sobra which is 15 pesos, instead of 13 na minimum fare.

May nasakyan akong jeep and nagbayad ako. Binalik niya yung sukli na 2 pesos na tinanggihan ko immediately. Sabi ko, “okay na po, wag na”. Pero he insisted, which I refused ulit kasi baka hayaan na din ako. Pero binabalik niya talaga kaya tinanggap ko na din, sabay sabi niya, “tanggapin mo na, di niyo kasalanan na tumaas yung krudo”. I’ve had that stirred up feeling kasi ang bait ni kuya and at the same time, my heart goes for them dahil sa crisis ngayon, at alam kong iniinda nila yung pagtaas. May iba pa ngang maliit na lang ang naiiuwi sa pamilya.

Inihabol pa niya, “Dapat ang sinisisi dyan, yung mga ano” sabay tawa. Which I understood na din naman kung sino. The whole night that day iniisip ko yung sinabi niya and sana, sa susunod na mamumuno, isipin man lang sana nila ang mga pilipinong nagttrabaho sa gantong crisis. Sana nakikinig sila, at sana ginagawan agad ng aksyon.

I was supposed to go to a music festival with my friends, but I ended up going through it alone.

We planned this trip a month in advance. Since we’re all working, we agreed to arrive on different dates. Some came five days early, others two days before, and a few of us, including me arrived on the day of the festival. I was supposed to travel with some friends, but we booked different times. They took an earlier trip, while I took the last one because I had errands to finish.

One friend handled all the bookings, so all I had to do was pay, which I did. But she forgot to tell me the name or location of our accommodation. I also planned to rent a scooter like everyone else, but everything was fully booked. I messaged our group chat asking if anyone knew where I could rent one, and a friend told me not to worry because she’d pick me up at the port.

I kept updating them throughout my trip. When I arrived, I messaged and sent a photo of where I was. Ten minutes passed; no reply. Then an hour. Then two. I kept calling, but no one answered. I understand the signal on the island can be bad, but she had been replying before I arrived. And the worst part was, I didn’t even know where we were staying.

It was almost midnight, and there was no transportation around. So I booked a different place and started walking, hoping to find help. Luckily, I came across someone who rented motorcycles. He offered me one slightly damaged, but usable and even guided me to my accommodation through a back road since the main road was blocked for the festival.

I arrived safely. The owner of the place noticed I was alone and invited me to join them at the festival. I went with them, had a few drinks, and tried to enjoy the night. I was happy in that moment, but deep down, I still felt sad.

Before going to sleep, I saw missed calls and messages from my friends. I told them I was okay. The next morning, they asked me to explore the island with them, but I declined and booked a trip home instead.

This experience has been weighing on me. I feel hurt, and I don’t have the courage to talk to them. Part of me wants to cut them off, but I don’t think I have the heart to do it.

My parents were yapping about some big decision that I am about to make, a decision where I didn't need their approval in the first place. They just kept on making a big deal out of it like they always do with everything, then suddenly I snapped and blurted with a vindictive tone "lahat nalang ginagawa niyong big deal pero yung fact na hirap na hirap na ako maging breadwinner never naging big deal sa inyo? ilang years na din akong hirap na hirap, akala niyo ata madali, bakit? dahil naging comfortable kayo, kumakain kayo three times a day, pag may kailangan, bigay agad kasi wala naman ako choice, pero paano pag namatay ako bukas? magugutom kayong lahat?" tapos nag walk out ako. Right now I feel really really guilty I just wanna jump off a cliff or hit the heavy bag but i have kept this shit for too long now, sobrang hirap talaga. Anyway, yun lang.

Please do not share. I worked as a designer VA for almost 5 years for them. Today HR called and told me that this will be my last month. Kanina pa ako umiiyak. I know how hard it is to get a job especially in my case. The reason is because of the war in the middle east.

I did everything, I did overtime kahit walang bayad.

Working on my CV now and trying to be strong.

I don't have anyone to talk to and my trauma is coming back. before I got this work it took me years bago magkahanap ng work, lumala pcos ko, it ruined me. I almost end it all. Now its happening all over again.

I don't know where to go from here.

Unang araw ko sa pagiging trenta. Walang wala ako, simot na simot. Kahit pang pancit wala. Pero okay lang, may sakit kasi ang nanay, breast cancer. Binubuhos ko lahat ng sahod ko para sa pagpapagamot niya. 6 years na kami lumalaban pero bakit hindi siya gumagaling. Pero okay lang ulit, mahalaga lumalaban, hindi sumusuko at kasama ko siya sa aking kaaarawan. I love you mommy, sana maabutan mo pa kong successful sa buhay.

Eight years. That’s how long it took me to go from a 14k-a-month no-benefits contractual job to breaking six digits. No safety net, no connections, just grinding through every performance review, every late night, every “sorry, budget freeze” until it wasn’t a freeze anymore.

Nine months ago I hit 74k and thought that was already enough of a reason to finally move out. So I did — got my own studio unit in Makati. Solo. No more sharing a bathroom with four other people, no more eating on my bed because there’s literally nowhere else to sit. I used to pay 5,000 a month for a bedspace and now I had my own key, my own address, my own space to breathe. I thought, ito na ’yung pinaghirapan ko.

Then this January, I finally broke six digits. 100k. I remember thinking baka this is the year things actually get easier. I’m finally climbing up in this world.

Nagkamali ako.

Then the oil crisis hit. My dad lost his job. My sister needed a bigger allowance just to get to school because fares kept going up. My mom has always been a SAHM so there was never a backup income there. Biglang, ang 100k ko na parang malaki ay naging pambayad na lang ng lahat ng kulang.

I was already stretched. And then yesterday happened.

My dad collapsed from exhaustion and got rushed to the ICU. He’s been out every day for the past two weeks applying to anything he could find — warehouse, delivery, construction work.

I’m writing this with one hand on my head trying to figure out how to pay the hospital bill without taking a loan, while also keeping my family afloat until my next cutoff. Wala akong mahanap na maayos na sagot kahit ilang beses kong i-compute.

I already messaged my landlord. I’m moving out. I texted my old roommates asking if I could move back into the bedspace.

Akala ko ang six digit salary ay katumbas na ng financial freedom. Turns out you’re just one crisis away from debt. One crisis and I’m basically starting over, except now with the possibility of debt on top of everything.

Ang hirap lumaban ng patas dito. You do everything right tapos ganito pa rin pala ang mangyayari. Nagpo-post lang talaga ako kasi kailangan ko lang magsalita kahit saan.

Salamat sa pakikinig.

I just want to vent out how my brother's lifestyle and character changed after joining this frat

1. Solely depended on connections. Ayaw na ng mahirap na paraan. Simpleng pagkuha ng driver's license, gusto fixer or tulong ng ka frat nya.

-- I think his whole stay sa manila revolved sa mga ka frat nya, going to places, going to bars, one night stands with girls imbes na ung perang pinaghirapan ng tatay ko sa pagsasaka ay pang rereview nya para sa board exam.

2. He wants to "use" people. Telling my 3 year old child to be friends sa mga anak ng mayor or sikat na businessman dito sa amin para someday "magamit" sila.

3. Failed the boards many times kasi umaasa sa samplex. Sabi ko nga, ayaw na ng long road, puro easy way nalang.

4. Grabeng body shamer sakin. Kakapanganak ko lang and I'm slowly getting back to myself then he tells my partner na sabihan daw ako mag exercise kasi ang taba taba ko daw. Parang, sobrang importante sakanya ang physical appearance.

5. Ayaw daw sa scarred women. Pero pag may nakikitang babae na dumadaan, laging sinasabi na chicks daw nya or tinitira nya.

6. Feeling nya ang pogi pogi nyaa. Apakataas ng ego nyaa. Hahahah. Feeling nya cguro alpha sya pero I don't seem to feel na alpha sya.

7. Ang daming unsolicited advice na akala mo naman inaapply nya sa sarili nyaa.

I just don't seem to get it kung bakit tambay parin sya, negative ang aspect sa buhay, advice ng advice na akala mo ang dami na pinagdaanan sa buhay pero ung mga ka frat nya for sure, mata taas na ang estado sa buhay. Bat di sya mahiya or mainspire.

Kakapasa ko lang ng board exam, napuno ako kasi nag advice nanaman. Naumay na kasi ako, advice ng advice di naman inaapply sa sarili nya. Si sabi ko sakanya, focus nalang sya sa buhay nya wag sa buhay ko. Naapakan ata ang ego, sabi nya mayabang na daw ako kasi nakapasa ako board exam hahaha.

I feel so down right now, crying in the middle of the night while everybody is asleep.

I envy how much she loves my brother. Ever since we were young, isang sabi lang na kailangan ng gamit, kahit gaano pa kamahal she would buy it for him in an instant. He went to the best private school in the country. Had better everything.

I wanted to study Medicine earlier on, but I was sent to go abroad kasi Ate ako, I needed to be mature at a younger age and help to put food in the table. Most of my earnings were sent to them.

I grew up to be resentful but never showed it. After years of living afar, she messaged na I have to go back kasi she's getting old. I have to uproot the life I built so I can take care of her since di naman daw siya umaasa sa brother ko since iba parin daw ang babaeng anak mag-alaga.

I pitied her kasi tumatanda na. Then I went for a vacation to Ph, just so I know how much life changed ever since I left. Met my friends and spent some time with family.

While I was here, I was convincing my self na baka okay lang dito sa Pinas manirahan. But this didn't age well.

I lost my phone that had access to my foreign bank, asked mom for help if she could atleast pay for airfare to Manila, she promised she would give. I waited and waited.

Then a week prior my supposed flight, been asking her to purchase a ticket kasi mahal na, but she kept delaying. She even joked she doesn't care kung di ako makabalik abroad.

Until four days prior my flight, sabi niya wala siyang money. Kasi she's throwing a party for my brother's passing the Bar exam. She even asked me to help her organize things, from Hotel reservation, menu, decors. I told her I can't do it kasi I have a flight and ang daming gagawin, but it didn't matter to her.

Buti na lang I have jewelries I can rely on. I pawned a ring so I can secure my flight ticket back to Manila. Binuhos ko na iyak ko dito. What I realized is I can no longer tolerate her. I hate my mom. I'm only counting the days, can't wait to cut ties.

Minsan gusto ko na lang matawa kasi lahat ng nakausap ko this year and last year mga bumalik sa ex HAHAHA

parang ako ata yung may mali or baka superpower ko na kapag nakausap ako biglang magpaparamdam ex

Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko, maybe its time to quit the dating scene. Baka di talaga para sakin ang pag-ibig

EDIT: ang daming danas na danas ah HAHAHA

What if magtayo na lang ako negosyo "The Comeback Doctor". Biglang andaming nakapila HAHAHA

Pagod na pagod nako, ayoko na mag aral. I was an honor student hanggang senior highschool. Pero now? I'm barely passing. Puro tulog nalang ginagawa ko parang ayoko na magising, kahit anong pagod ko sa pagsstudy, walang pumapasok sa utak ko. I hate this, hindi ko maalala kung pano ko napull off lahat ng ginawa ko nung highschool. I've already accepted na iba yung standards sa college but yung problema ko lang, kahit pagpunta sa campus nang early hindi ko na magawa.

Pagod na pagod na pagod nako, dalawang major sub na ata mababagsak ko. Ilang zero nako sa calculus kasi ptutangina di ko talaga maintindihan, passion ko to nung shs pero ngayon wala na talaga, even yung basics parang naooverwhelm yung putanginang utak ko. Pero di rin ako makachange ng path kasi scholar ako. Pukengina nakakatempt na talaga matulog nalang habangbuhay, ilang linggo nakong nagcocontemplate nyan. Sana matapos na to lahat. Iyak nalang talaga magagawa ko kasi ngayon ko lang narealize na sobrang pariwara ko.

Sometimes, I just wonder what is wrong with me to have had only 2 girlfriends, who both were unfaithful to me. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like or feel like to do that to a partner and just act like nothing happened afterwards. I guess it felt good because, they were in a good mood afterwards most of the time while I just waited for them. Sometimes, I wonder if I deserved it but at the same time, I genuinely did my best in our relationships; was I perfect? Of course not, but I did do my best to make them happy or content. Would I ever be unfaithful to my future partner? No, I just don’t have it in me to break someone like that.

Now, after both ex’s, I noticed I have gotten colder, more cynical, less caring, more apathetic, more nonchalant, more everything that’s negative. My friends recently set me up on a date with a nice girl, and I had to keep reminding myself to act like I care about her as a person. I had to pretend that I like her enough to call her again. I guess the best way to explain what I felt was that I toned myself down from feeling anything towards people.

I also had a situationships afterwards and I remember them begging me to tell them we were something more than but I just didn’t care about the entire situation because in my mind, she will be unfaithful too, given time.

I’ve been regularly going to therapy for years to deal and to keep myself sane but I guess getting traumatized by having unfaithful partners who lied to me for years just killed the part of me that cared about having romantic relationships. Although, a lot of times I just long for having a partner to come home to, to be excited for, to know that she will choose me because I kept choosing her, to hold, to experience genuine love for. After years of therapy, I still don’t know how to move past the mindset of “She will be unfaithful, hintayin mo lang.”

For context, I’m already 24, pero until now I’ve been experiencing abuse more times than I can count. I’m a child of a widow, and sobrang hirap ng buhay namin after mawala yung papa ko because of COVID. If you think my mom is the one abusing me, hindi siya. My emotional abuser is my aunt. She’s childless, and honestly, if umulan man ng narcissism at pagiging abusive, parang naligo talaga siya doon.

Growing up, hindi ako suwail na bata. I follow rules and I was raised well by my dad. He was amazing, to be honest. Pero simula nung nawala siya, my aunt has been constantly messaging me. As in nonstop, draining, manipulative, and emotionally exhausting.

Recently, napuno na talaga ako. I got tired of her constant pangangaral, her abusive behavior, and pagiging narcissistic niya, not just to me but pati sa mga kapatid ko. She even lectures them about things na wala namang sense in real life. I don’t want my mom to intervene kasi she’s already sick and under strict medication. So I decided to restrict her on Messenger. Nakikita ko messages niya, pero I don’t reply anymore, and I stopped answering her calls.

For the first time, I felt free, and honestly, sobrang therapeutic niya. Parang nanalo ako sa lotto sa feeling ng pagiging malaya. Right now, wala akong planong makipag communicate sa kanya. And kapag mas okay na ako mentally and mas stable na to deal with people, I’m planning to see a psychiatrist kasi I know I really need help.

I just wanted to share lang yung nangyari sa akin kanina.

Lagi akong may nakaready na barya na 15 pesos na pamasahe sa bulsa ko para di ko makalimutan magbayad. Pagsakay ko ng jeep, nagbayad agad ako ng sakto then I used my phone na.

Ng bababa na ako, pagkatawid ko. Tinawag ako ni manong driver at nagsisigaw na di pa daw ako nagbabayad. Sinabi ko na nagbayad na ako pagkasaky ko tapos pinipilit nya pa din sa malakas na boses na hindi. Ang mahal na nga daw ng gas di pa daw ako magbayad.

Chineck ko bulsa wala na doon yung coins na pamasahe ibig sabihin nagbayad ako. Narinig ko pa na sabi ng katabi ng driver sa unahan na nagbayad na nga ako pero di nakinig si kuyang driver at pinipilit pa rin nya na di ako nagbayad.

Sa inis ko, nagbayad ulit ako ng 20 pesos di ko na kinuha ang sukli sabay sabi ng pagpalain nawa sya sa ginagawa nya.

Ngayon lang ako naka-experience ng ganyang driver na grabe mambintang. naintindihan ko sitwasyon nila kaya nga madalas nagpapasobra ako sa minimum na pamasahe. Napaisip tuloy ako deserve ba na magdagdag ako ng pamasahe bilang konting tulong kung baka may driver ulit na ganunin ako at sigaw sigawan ako sa bintang na di naman totoo. Hanggang ngayon naiiyak ako kasi I do not deserve such treatment and I know myself very well naman.

Hello! I am the eldest daughter sa tipikal na pinoy household. Simula noong grumaduate ako, ako na ako pinasalo ng mga magulang ko ng responsibilidad nilang pag aralin mga kapatid ko at magbayad ng bills. Sagot ko rin ang lahat grocery maski gamot at kung ano ano pa. Wala akong natitira sa sahod ko. Wala ni piso. Simot. Ubos. Ngayon, inaaaway ako ng nanay ko dahil sinasarili ko ang pera ko dahil lang sa di ko mabigay ang 50k na gusto niya pangbili ng motor (dagdag lang ito dahil meron na siyang hawak na cash). Tangina fuck pagod na pagod na ako. Maski damit ko di ko mabili dahil sa putanginang pamilyang to. Tapos ako pa minumura dahil mayabang daw ako at makasarili. Fuck. Sobrang sama ng loob ko.

20 years na pala ang parents ko na nagwowork sa Middle East. Mag29 naman na ako next month. Umuwi sila ngayong month para sa annual vacation nila. Here I am, working sa city. Sila nasa family home namin sa province. Ito yung mga pagkakataon na sana work-from-home ako para masulit ko na kasama sila. I can’t wait for Fridays para makauwi ako. Hinihiling ko din sana as soon as possible, magfor good na parents ko. Pero I can’t blame my parents for still wanting to work abroad kasi gusto nila financially stable sila bago magretired. Considering din yung sistema dito sa Pilipinas, mas gusto din muna nila magstay doon dahil sa healthcare benefits nila. Minsan naiisip ko, kaya siguro single pa din ako hanggang ngayon is para makabawi for the lost times with them. Wala pa ni kalahati ng buhay ko ang nakasama ko sila.

Sarap na sarap ako sa luto ni Mommy. Miss na miss ko na yung mga jokes ni Daddy. Sobrang swerte ko sa parents ko for working hard para lang magkaroon kami ng privilege na meron kami ngayon. Kaya di ko sila mapilit na magfor good kasi deserve din naman nila mag-enjoy sa ibang bansa na hindi na kami inaalala ng kapatid ko. Pero as anak ng OFW, miss na miss ko sila. Miss na miss ko ang konsepto ng pamilya.

13 years na rin pala simula nung nawala si mama. i was in elementary nung na-diagnose sya na may cancer. basta alam ko lang nung nalaman ko na may ganoong sakit sya, di ko na sya makakasama nang matagal. my mom didn’t make it and i guess my father did try, to be there for her, but cancer really worsened my mother’s physical and mental health.

now i have my first big girl job. daming setbacks nung nawala si mama. parang taon-taon lagi kaming sinusubok. ang hirap pala. na parang lagi ka na lang nasa listahan ng strongest soldier haha. na-survive ko naman ang college, pero andun pa rin yung inggit na sana nandito rin yung mama ko. gaya ng mga ka-edad ko. na sana may masasandalan din ako. tapos i’m so drained at my current job pa, feel ko wala akong patutunguhan. i feel so lost. just like any other 22 year olds lol.

and tonight i’m bawling my eyes out. ngayon na lang siguro ako umiyak nag ganito because i didn’t cry on her death anniversary last year. idk, work stress? family prob? or just the thought that i need my mother’s hug right now.

marami akong kasama yet i feel so alone. hay. hanggang kailan ba kasi ako magpapaka-strong? napapagod na ako.

My mom has apartment units in our province, and a lot of families have stayed there for years. Some of my childhood friends actually came from those apartments.

There’s this one tita who worked in Europe but chose to stay in one of my mom’s units because she liked the “slow life” here. Over time, I got really close to her—she’d share home-cooked meals, tell stories, and just had this warm presence that made everything feel comforting.

Eventually, she separated from her husband and decided to move back to Europe for work. She told my mom she’d be gone for maybe 2–3 years. Before leaving, my mom even offered her a place to stay for free whenever she comes back, since she’s basically family to us at this point.

When I heard the news, I felt sad. I’ve never really had issues with any of my mom’s tenants, but I’ve also learned to accept that people come and go. Still, this one felt different.

I guess I just didn’t expect that someone who started out as a tenant would end up meaning so much to me. It’s strange how attached you can get to people who were only supposed to be temporary in your life.

I’m F27 and my mom still brings up something I supposedly did before I even went to school. She claims I “lied” to my dad for sympathy, that I told him she slapped me before going to work (I was about 6yo at this time, she says)

The problem is… I don’t remember that at all.

And I’m the type of person who remembers everything from my childhood--what we ate, places we went, random little moments. So it’s hard for me to believe I’d forget something that serious, something that would’ve actually affected me.

But she keeps bringing it up like it’s a fact.

Fast forward to now.

Earlier, my parents argued again. It started over something small--my dad cooked breakfast. I woke up “late” because I was studying for a long quiz and I also had work at 8AM. I usually don’t eat breakfast, and I have my own routine.

My mom insisted I get up and eat, pinagbigyan ko na kasi I get she's concerned that I should eat. I still wanted to sleep lol. Moving on, when I finally got up around 7, I went straight to my computer to check emails in case anything urgent came up. My dad called me for breakfast, I didn’t respond right away, and he said he’d just put the food away for later.

Both him and mom didn't eat yet, dad was washing the dog dishes and mom was watching some random chinese ceo video on yt.

That’s when my mom got mad.

She said things like: “Oh so you only think about your daughter? What about me? Just because she won’t eat, you’ll remove the food?”

For context, she doesn’t even eat right away--she just wants the food sitting on the table while she does other things like watching videos or folding laundry.

They argued. And somehow… it became my fault.

When I came out, she told me:

“It’s always because of you why your dad and I fight. Ever since you were little, even before school. You’ve always been the cause of my problems. You ruin everything.”

I wish I was immune to it by now, but it’s exhausting hearing that over and over again, especially when it’s over things I didn’t even do.

She also constantly talks about how Gen Z has the wrong mindset, that children shouldn’t question parents expecting financial support, or giving their entire salary to the family, in short: being an investment after schooling and shit.

I didn’t even argue. I just mentioned that some of my peers’ parents don’t think that way.

Last year, we had a huge fight. She compared me to my friends, cousins, neighbors, heck even random people online saying they’ve achieved so much while I’m doing the bare minimum.

But I’ve been giving my salary to help the household. I do what they ask. I put aside my own goals and happiness because my mom lost her job due to an eye condition, and my dad had to stop working because of his age and health.

I didn’t have a choice but to step up.

And somehow, I’m still the bad one.

I even snapped back once and compared her to other parents, those families that are stable, supportive, and not constantly blaming their kids. I said I didn’t have the same options in life because I had to carry responsibilities early.

She got angry but got quiet when I opened up my sentiments. I know that hurt her, but honestly, I was just tired.

And hurt.

I don’t understand where all this anger toward me is coming from.

My dad cheated, and I know that affected her deeply but why am I the one constantly being put in line for it? Why do I keep getting told I’m “just like him,” that I’m “good for nothing”?

All I ever wanted was a normal family.

I thought I had already healed from all this, but it just keeps happening, almost every day, over every inconvenience.

I’m just really tired. I just want to end it all. I'm sorry for not being the good daughter or being good enough.

Don't worry, Mom. I wish I’d never been born either.

this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. last friday, nalooban yung apartment namin. my bag was stolen as well as my phone. that phone was very important to me as i saved up for it when i had my first job after graduating last year. my wallet was also in my bag. my ids and atms, gone. my salary i got on the 15th, gone. i literally have nothing. this is a nightmare. i'm gonna lose my mind.