r/MaladaptiveDreaming

This may sound crazy but, I feel like i must be obsessing over a person all the time to keep going. To get through the day. I feel like if i don’t have nobody obsessing over at the moment my life has no meaning and it’s boring. I’ve been obsessing over the same guy for about two years, but i realized he was a shitty person and he started giving me the ick, and i don’t care about him most of the time.

The thing is, over a month ago i met a new guy and i’ve been thinking about him every day since then. But i’ve only seen him ONCE. Is this normal? Or im just crazy?

And don’t get me wrong, when i say obsessing over someone i don’t mean stalking them or watching every move of their. What i mean is i think about them all the time and i get happy with every interaction with them, and i also walk back and forth listening to music imagining they’re watching me.

My problem is, how can i be obsessed with someone i’ve only seen once? 😭 And also, how can i stop the feeling of needing to obsess over someone to get through life? Is this related to maladaptive daydreaming? I’ve been daydreaming since i was a child but what worries me is having to obsess over someone to feel something.

Because honestly I do this a lot and I can absolutely sob my eyes out and it makes me wonder if I'm crazy?? Like am I that eager to be sad that I have to make up hypothetical situations to cry about 😭??! And I don't think about it, like it just happens and then I realise that it's not true at all and I come back to my senses. Do I need help?

Guys, I just came across this sub and had no idea there was an actual descriptor for this phenomenon. I honestly just thought I might be autistic or something. I constantly self-insert myself into my favorite movies and shows as a way to fall asleep at night. I have created 20+ chapter fanfictions as I just write about what I think about when I daydream, and then I become more obsessed with it, as there is a need to follow through the plot for my readers. I've never told anyone about this before, and I always thought I was just a bit off, but it totally makes sense, as I do have very bad anxiety, and maladaptive daydreaming helps me cope with reality a bit. I remember it became so bad during lockdown/covid times I was barely living in reality at the time, so it makes sense it is a coping mechanism.

My question for you guys is, does anyone else do this as a way to fall asleep? I've been playing out these elaborate fantasies in my head as my only way to fall asleep since I can remember.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, I'm just very excited to learn about this, and would love to hear other people's experiences with maladaptive daydreaming.

I see some people post things on here about how it takes over their lives and makes them miserable and I feel a bit guilty because I'm not sure I feel like that. I feel awful for people who are having a hard time with it.

I haven't felt great today (hormones and other things...we won't get into that) and I couldn't wait to walk home from work, put my headphones in and go into my own little dream world. I know it sounds sad but I promise it's not. I'm not disconnected from reality, I just find comfort in a escaping from it in my own little dreamworld sometimes.

The only time it really makes me my miserable is when I have these moments sometimes where I realise my real life will never be as good as my dreamworld (although looking on the bright side, I'm sometimes delulu enough to make myself believe that anything is possible lol 😂). When my mental health is really, really bad that can mess with me a little bit.

Just something I was thinking about earlier. I'm really sorry to everyone who is suffering because of MD and I really hope you all heal 🩷

So I recently realized that I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming for most of my life. I’ll randomly imagine myself in scenarios where I’m super popular, going to my dream university, or I create stories about other characters living way better lives than mine.

Lately it’s been getting worse. I can barely focus in school anymore, and it’s starting to hit me that my real life doesn’t match anything I’ve been imagining. Honestly, I feel pretty miserable in reality, and I want to start fixing this, but I don’t really know how.

I’ve been reading through this subreddit and seeing advice, but the main thing I’m stuck on is this: what do people actually think about if they don’t maladaptive daydream? I rely on it so much that my mind automatically goes there all the time, even when I’m trying to fall asleep.

If I stop, I genuinely don’t know what else to think about, and that’s the part that’s confusing me the most. How do you replace it?

I always wanted to ask this question to some people who controls their maladaptive daydreaming because for me, im afraid to tell this to my family/friends because they would thing I'm crazy (they think mental health issues persons r all crazy) so how come u get rid of MD when u have judgements from others who don't know this pain......?

I have OCD and I experience very short daydreams, almost like “takes” or brief scenes of a certain situation. I build these scenes in my mind—often I’m in them, or I’m being seen by someone—and I also try to create the perspective of whoever is watching. I repeat the scene until it feels real, until it evokes exactly what I was expecting; if someone interrupts me, I go back and think through it again.

These scenes are usually positive, like a form of escape, like: he is looking at me and thinking that I am pretty or something like that. Sometimes they’re negative, as if I’m preparing myself for something bad that hasn’t happened yet—I imagine the scene so that, if it were to happen, I wouldn’t feel as bad.

Anyone else?

To contextualize, for much time, I thought that I myself weren't able to simply hold on my daydreams because I was very addicted to it, and that trying would be a loss of time and it would just come back stronger. I changed perspective when all my real life was falling and I decided that I would simply stop daydreaming for a week, since then, the daydreams came back, but I changed the way of seeing it and how it can be managed.

Did you also had periods of time in which you thought that it was just not possible to stop it? Did you break this way of thinking?

I genuinely don't know where I'd be if I still thought I was alone in this. This might be the most Redditor shit I've ever said, but I think I relate to you guys more than my own family. I don't even tell them because I know how they'd react. Most people just don't get us. They think our problems are made up and easily fixable but we're just too lazy. "Daydreaming isn't a real disorder" anything can be a disorder if it's out of control and damaging your life.

I've greatly improved because of this community so thank you guys. Even the people who post about being depressed due to their MD, you have helped me feel less alone, so thank you ❤️

Has anyone here started on any GLP-1 medications, and how has that affected your maladaptive daydreaming?

According to new research, GLP-1s are helpful with quieting food related intrusive thoughts and addictions. “With less food noise, people have more energy and time and space to think about and do other things."

Some people have changes in mood: some people reports improved mood and some people report worsening mood.

It made me think about maladaptive daydreaming and if it could be an unintended side effect that MD is decreased similar to the intrusive thoughts/food noise.

Does anyone here have any experience with GLP-1 medications that can talk about if they have daydreamed less, more, the same, etc. and their general experience?

Hi,

I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming for as long as I remember, and I need to stop. I’ve tried a couple times before but never very seriously, or with any direction because I didn’t know what it was and how bad it was.

A lot of my daydreams are almost self-inserts into books or movies or shows I like. I was reading about removing triggers to quit and i’m wondering how far to go. For example: do I stop watching/reading the media associated with my daydreams at all? should I throw away my merch from these fandoms? should I stop listening to music I associate with them too e.g soundtracks? do I delete my Pinterest boards etc? basically do I just stop participating and erase all evidence I guess

I would be sad to lose things I enjoy (although there’s lots of media I do enjoy that i don’t daydream about), but I need to quit and get my life back. Is there a potential I can just be mindful and stop watching/engaging when I feel like I’m starting to daydream? - I’m concerned I don’t have enough control for this.

looking for thoughts and advice if anyone has been through something similar.

Thank you!

When I was a kid, I used to find myself drawing for hours and hours. There were sheets of my drawings all over my bedroom. Today, I’m great at drawing, and I believe it was a way to cope with maladaptive daydreaming because I needed to let go of those thoughts. I remember whenever I started daydreaming, I would grab a sheet and draw so intricate, detailed, and complex. As I was doing it, it felt like a relief.

My school notebooks were filled with doodles in the borders, the margins, and on the very last pages. I would draw on anything, napkins, or even my own skin. As I was doing it, it felt like a powerful relief.

Anyone else did the same?

I just found out that this singer iv been daydreaming about thinks male loneliness is a guys fault and other political bull is effecting me fucking me up im to attached i cant just let go i need advice some damn good advice please been daydreaming about they for years now.

I’ve tried to stop it but my mind genuinely wonders and I can’t stop it as soon as I wake up BOOM a scenario idk what to do I’m so helpless

I'm eighteen and feel uncomfortable in every social context. I get made fun of by everyone (even women) because I'm never present and I don't know how to relate to the human race. I don't read emails or books, and I often forget to go to the gym because I'm only fantasizing. If someone asked me, "What can you do?" or "What do you like to do?" I wouldn't know how to answer. I'm male, yet outside of my fantasy (in which I'm a total chad), I act extremely effeminate, and I hate it. I've wasted years of my life locked in my bedroom, and I think my brain is destroyed forever.

Hello dear community,

Since I was 6, I've suffered from MD (Maladaptives Daydreaming). Back then, it was simply stories I spun together from movies and TV shows, creating my own world with a real storyline. This world had its happy ending a year ago, and I'm finally out of my head (I'm going to write a book about it).

Now I'm 20, and my MD has changed. Suddenly, it's not fictional characters anymore; it's my colleagues, my boss, or friends who keep appearing in these dreams.

The next problem was me. I develop fears of these real people, especially my colleagues, even though they don't actually hurt me. This is a pattern I've decided has to stop. I've also decided to go on a radical detox. Today is the first day, and I'm already noticing how difficult it is. I feel lost, confused, and some things are taking me longer than usual.

Now I'm wondering: Will this get better? Am I doing this wrong? And to those who have succeeded, how does it feel to be free from these daydreams?

When i daydream, I play it out like a movie in my head. I can't imagine how you could daydream without seeing it play out. Please let me know!

Prof. Somer - the person who coined the term maladaptive daydreaming is going to release his clinical book of maladaptive daydreaming and his research he conducted for over 20 years with patients with trauma, this time next year 2027.

Prof. Somer is a clinical psychologist and a full professor emeritus of psychology at the school of social work.

He is a top researcher in the field of trauma and dissociation, He served as president of the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation (ISSTD) and as president of the European Society for Trauma and Dissociation (ESTD). Sommer led innovative research on the psychological effects of trauma on the human psyche, and is known worldwide as the first to identify, define, and study the disruptive phenomenon of maladaptive daydreaming.

In this groundbreaking book, Prof. Eli Sommer – who coined the term and leads research in the field – reveals the story of a phenomenon that is known to hundreds of thousands but remains in the dark. It is a rare combination of up-to-date science, moving human stories, therapeutic insights, and practical tools for sufferers and therapists alike. The book examines the origins of the phenomenon, its connection to trauma, personality traits, music and movement, its neurological and clinical aspects, and also the creative power hidden within it. It is written at eye level – in the first person, with candor and empathy – and invites readers on a journey to understand one of the most fascinating and least known phenomena of the human psyche.

So mark your calendars to April 2027. The full clinical book after 20 years of intense research is going to shed light and help trauma survivors across the world, if you work in the mental health field this will open your eyes. Share this with anyone you think will benefit from this information, especially mental health professionals especially those who treat patients with ptsd/cptsd/personality disorders/identity disorders/dissociative disorders. It will also include therapy recommendations.

If you haven’t already sign yourself to prof. Somer newsletter.

I’m looking forward to it.

When I think back to my childhood, I can barely remember ever receiving any type of genuine reassurance or comfort. My negative feelings were judged and berated, I got yelled at, and dismissed. My mom was always moody and angry, most likely depressed herself, and overworked. I couldn't really bond with my older brother and I tried hard to be a good sister for my younger brother. My father was and is someone I barely know.

I would have my crying sessions and breakdowns in my bed, door closed. I'd imagine my favorite characters soothing and holding me. They were all for me: a lover, a parent, a friend. I was terrible at making friends. I got bullied as well, mostly for my looks. I was awkward, with hobbies no one could relate to. I remember constant shame in social situations.

Whenever something difficult came along, I'd pretend that my favorite character was by my side. I'm 25 now. I still do it. I never opened up to anyone else. I can't. I was never held, never taken care of. I don't know how to ask for it or who to ask for it. Not like there's many options anyway. At least in my fantasies I can feel safe, just for a little while.