Need help or suggestions...
I have my final-year graduation exams in the next 20 days, and honestly, I haven’t studied properly at all.
Three years ago, I dropped out of one of the best colleges in my city and joined IGNOU because I wanted to fully focus on UPSC preparation. I genuinely believed that removing regular college pressure would help me stay disciplined and consistent.
In my first year itself, I also joined KSG coaching, and around ₹2 lakh was spent on it with a lot of hope and expectations from both me and my parents.
But now, after three years, the reality is brutal: I’ve barely completed around 15% of the UPSC syllabus.
Most of these years went into procrastination, inconsistency, distractions, overthinking, and wasting time. Looking back now feels painful because I sacrificed both the college experience and serious UPSC preparation, yet achieved neither properly.
The worst part is that my parents still think I’m seriously preparing and probably almost ready for UPSC. For the last three years, I used to leave home daily for the library, so naturally they believed I was studying consistently. But the truth is that despite spending all those hours outside, my actual productivity was close to zero most of the time. I honestly don’t even know how these three years disappeared like this.
Now my graduation exams are near, and after that I’ll roughly have one serious year left before my UPSC attempt. But instead of feeling ready, I feel completely lost.
The biggest confusion now is about what to do next.
If I stay at home, technically I can give full-time focus to UPSC. But this same environment has already wasted three years of my life. The distractions, lack of structure, and procrastination here feel impossible to escape.
That’s why I’m now thinking about joining BHU for postgraduation, hoping that a disciplined environment, routine, competition, and getting away from my current surroundings might finally help me become serious and consistent.
But at the same time, another thought keeps hitting me hard: going to another city without having achieved anything yet will put even more financial burden on my parents. I already feel guilty for wasting so much time, opportunities, and money, especially after the KSG coaching investment.
Right now, I just feel trapped between regret for the last three years and fear of wasting one more year in the same way.
TL;DR: Dropped regular college and joined IGNOU to fully focus on UPSC, spent ₹2 lakh on KSG coaching, but after 3 years barely completed 15% of the syllabus due to procrastination. Parents still think I’m seriously preparing because I used to go to the library daily, but in reality my productivity was almost zero. Now final exams are near, only one serious year for UPSC is left, and I’m confused whether to stay home or join BHU for a better environment while feeling guilty about wasting time and my parents’ money.