r/EMDR

Hi 👋 This it’s my first question in this forum. I’ve been following this forum for quite some time. Thanks everyone for contributing . I have a question. I wonder if anyone can shed some lights on it.

I’ve been 10 years in therapy (8 years CBT talking then 2 yrs EMDR) to heal my CPTSD.

My body (ISF parts) told me I have arrived the motherboard of my subconscious mind 3 months ago so I’m probably at the deep processing stage of EMDR… now I feel a lot of shame and anger daily and nihilism.

I wonder how long the stage is going to last because it’s I’m starting to get tired of my healing journey and wonder if it’s going to take another 10 or 20 years for me to heal… I know there’s no firm answer because everyone’s healing journey is different. Just curious if any psychotherapist or anyone who experienced such long healing can share some lights thanks!

Hello. I have started doing weekly EMDR with my therapist for CEN. Wanted to ask if it’s a good idea to add TRE between sessions? Has anyone ever done so? If yes, before sessions or after?

I used to do TRE on my own before following Dr. Berceli on YT and I used to have the shaking. Is it a wise idea to do TRE on my own and EMDR with a therapist now? Will combining the two help in overall recovery? Any experiences/suggestions are welcome. Don’t wanna retraumatize myself :/

My entire life I’ve had a real phobia of getting my blood drawn, and also shots. I’ve over come the shots slightly. But I don’t know how to combat the phobia and it’s going to be detrimental to my health. I understand there’s no real danger of blood draw, and it’s not really the pain that even bothers me. The idea of a needle going into a tender part of your arm and hitting the vein and rolling just grosses me out. Makes me sweat and physically cringe and draw up. I can’t even watch it on tv. I can watch an amputation, but the moment I see a needle going into a vein I’m out. Now I believe I have hyperthyroidism and I need to get tested for it, but I cannot bring myself to get my blood drawn. I know all the advices of “distract yourself, lay down, eat a good meal before, tense up your legs and core so that you don’t have a blood pressure drop”. I don’t need that. Because that still doesn’t help me, I’ll know it’s going to happen and the thought and anticipation is too much for me.

Hi friends. I had therapy yesterday and my treatment plan was due for review, and discussing my goals, my therapist brought up that in my initial intake form, I stated that I wanted to work on processing my traumas. I know she does EMDR so I asked her a bit about it, and she kind of walked me through the concepts of belief burdens and such. I'm not normally someone who is very connected to how I feel sensations in my body but I noticed while we were talking about EMDR in yesterday's session, that it kinda felt like my heart was in my stomach, like a heavy feeling almost, and I was really scared thinking about having to actually confront my trauma because I'm someone who has spent most of their life avoiding actually doing that. Did anyone else experience this kind of really big fear when considering starting emdr? How did you move past it?

I started EMDR two months ago to work on some trauma that the abrupt ending of my long term relationship triggered again. I’m a very self aware and sensitive person so it’s been very tough for me and very effective at the same time, as I feel that I’ve been able to indeed process things much faster and detach from a lot of things that would normally hurt a lot and make me endlessly spiral. Recently I had to travel and I had to take a break from EMDR for around 20 days and it honestly felt good. For the first time in months I wasn’t crying every day, and I felt less in my head and more able to go about my day without that heavy weight on my heart. After coming back, it took just one EMDR session to throw me right back in that state: crying A LOT, waking up upset and crying first thing in the morning, and just feeling really low. I was wondering how often you need to have EMDR sessions (I currently have one a week), if this is normal or I should consider taking a break from it. I really thought I was doing better before my last session. Thanks to anyone who will take the time to read this 🙏🏼

I just recently started seeing this new therapist for EMDR. There have been a few (maybe more than I'm giving credit to) red flags that I wanted to express to those who have lots of experience with EMDR and EMDR therapists as she is the first therapist I am seeing for EMDR and to be fair, we have only had a handful of sessions. ***TW: vague mention of SA***

1. Long story short, there was a lot of issues with scheduling when I first made my appointment due to weather and flooding so I was totally understanding, until she kept rescheduling me and either would cancel last minute or leave me hanging on telehealth and never logging on or communicating with me. After we established appointments, she could not schedule me regularly for months. She would keep changing my appointment days and times, so I'd see her one week on Thursday at 6pm and then Sunday at 1pm and then next week shed schedule me Thursday at 5pm. Because of this, there was one session that I showed up 27 minutes late to (I thought it was at 6PM and it was 5PM). I walked in and she disappointingly said "Well I'm going to have to charge you out of pocket for this session since its more than halfway over, also, were not going to be able to do EMDR anymore today because we now don't have the time to." me being a people pleaser, I apologized profusely and said it was all my fault and I will happily pay out of pocket. Looking back, I realized I gave her so much compassion for scheduling and rescheduling and she was so cold the day I show up late due to inconsistent scheduling.
2. She at first was hesitant to start EMDR with me because "most people who think they need EMDR really just need good therapy so I might suggest against EMDR after a few sessions"... okay that's fine. She said we would complete a mental health evaluation on my first appointment, which we didn't do because she got sidetracked by something I mentioned to her early on in the appointment. 4 sessions later, I bring up doing the MH evaluation and she acted like she had no clue what I was talking about. She would prepare me for what we will be working on next week and then completely abandon her plan. She also would take notes a LOT during our sessions but then would completely forget what topics we talk about last week, what we are doing this week, as if she didn't take any notes at all.
3. Due to weather hazards in the beginning of my sessions with her, I saw her via telehealth for the first month. At this point she has mentioned that EMDR might be a good fit for me and explained very lightly how the process works. I said alright cool. We started talking about my trauma and she stopped me and said, "would you like to do a grounding meditation?" and I said sure. She then has me close my eyes and think of a safe space with a provider, protector and nurturer. And then focus on the traumatic event. and then I noticed a light going back and forth through my eyelids during this "meditation". She was doing EMDR and didn't even disclose to me that was she was doing... After that session she jumped right into more EMDR sessions, assuming she walked me all the way through it "the first time" when she didn't.
4. First couple EMDR sessions were done incorrectly, she uses bilateral audio and vibrations in my hands. For the first 3 sessions, the audio and the vibrations were on opposite sides. I asked for confirmation that's how it was supposed to be, and she looks and says "No... it's supposed to be stimulating the same sides... how would bilateral stimulation work if it's on opposite sides?" As if I knew all about EMDR and as if she actually took the time to explain it to me, which she did not.
5. The last session I had with her she'd ask, "what came up?" and I would say emotions I felt, and then ask again, and nothing new came up so I would say "nothing" a lot to her questions, because she told me in the beginning even if I feel nothing to tell her. The session after that, she informed me that I said "nothing" to 18 out of the 25 prompts and that "she can't work with nothing if I am giving her mothing"... I left that sessions defeated and still clueless as to how EMDR sessions are supposed to go.
6. I am focusing on SA trauma, and at the end of a session one day, I told her how I had previously worked with a therapist and worked through one of the SA incidents and how trauma helped me realize my SA was not my fault. She interrupts me and says "Really? How do you think its not your fault?" I was speechless as she tried to gather her thoughts and was trying to formulate what to say to me. She reiterates "Its just in the times I was growing up and when I was your age, it was the opposite and everyone thought 'oh she's dressed like that, she deserved it' and its so hard to wrap my head around the fact that you feel so confident it wasn't your fault"..... I was left speechless again. She said "I don't want to say anything without formulating and thinking it through before saying it to you so I don't trigger or upset you, so I think I will take time to myself to think this through and then I can come back to you with my thoughts".

I am struggling because she is the first therapist I have ever been able to be fully honest with, about all my truama and alcoholism and everything, but I just have a gut intuition that I am uncomfortable and dread doing sessions with her weekly. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Is this just how EMDR is and should I stick with it?

at what stage of EMDR are we meant to install positive beliefs at the moment every session I’ve just been re-processing re-processing whatever comes up and then next session going after that whatever Kmart going from there after all of this do you then go onto install positive ?

I've been thinking again recently how much that experience turned my life on its head.

Three or four years ago, I visited a therapist for the first time. I had no idea what was bothering me, but I struggled to work, and I just recently stated questioning my family relations. I partially cut contact a few years prior. I have not reflected much on my past, at least not with support.

We did some more 'functional' therapy, never going really deep. I liked her because she supported my independence, having had authority issues. She, however, didn't seem very interested in hearing about my childhood. I got an impression that she didn't find it beneficial.

However, she was very interested in me doing EMDR. I tried to ask her more about the process and what it does, how it works, and so on. She was vague in explanation. I didn't really understand, and I was afraid of 'false' memories. I decided to trust anyway.

The first session was fine. It didn't go too deep. After it I felt a lot of relief. The second session was where it got complicated. It seemed like it took me to an almost proverbial stage. The therapist misheard or misread my response at one point, and that mirrored something that came up during the session. I didn't want to upset her and prioritised reasuring her.

After that session, my life turned around. Walking in the park, I came to the conclusion that something horrible must have happened to me when I was very young. I never had any thoughts like that before. I had no memory to work with. Just a feeling, a suspicion I could not put anywhere.

A week later, in the cinema, a rude lady taped me hard on my shoulder for looking at my phone. The force from the hit to my shoulder glued me to the chair, and tears started pouring down my eyes uncomfortably. I could not move. I just had one, though. I felt small and dirty.

Later, when I told this to the therapist, she was sure it could not have been due to EMDR. I don't believe that. I feel I was pushed into something I was not ready for, but I did make that decision myself. She never took my history. I don't really think she knew me entering into the session. I don't think either of us was prepared.

Worst of all, I had to face my family in the next year. I felt cracked like an egg going about it. I thought I wouldn't survive. New fragments of information emerged through the interaction with my family, but I still can't say for sure what they mean.

I lived with that feeling now for years, believing emotionally in a horrible event, but knowing I don't know and trying to accept that I never will. It's still impossible for me to know what is true. Was it the EMDR that hurt me, or did I really uncover something.

I recently decided to start therapy again, but I don't know how to proceed.

Hi! What a journey its been and continues to be. Wanted to share video I recorded where I talk about the process from my POV and some reflections I have on what I've gone through.

The body has an incredible ability to recover itself and sometimes I don't want to trust the process, but the ride is happening regardless! Proud of you for taking whatever steps you need, rooting 4 u ❤️

We haven’t fully started EMDR yet, we are just trying to set up a safe / happy place and do some tapping. At some point during this I will always become really anxious, I also can’t focus on the place for long. I’ve had over a dozen sessions in it doesn’t seem to be getting any easier. My therapist is really kind and great to work with but I’m worried this isn’t for me. We haven’t even gotten to any negative thoughts yet, it’s just tapping while thinking of my happy place but I’m struggling. Is this normal ?

i had my first emdr session 2 days ago and my therapist did warn me that I could feel a hangover, when I got home after the session I had an online meeting, I felt really tired but I hadn’t really gotten a lot of sleep the night before so I thought I just needed to sleep. Then yesterday I started feeling really weird physically, I have dysautonomia so I think I’m having a flare up, and I couldn’t do any uni work because I felt really dizzy and weak. Cut to last night, im talking to my boyfriend on discord and im struggling to find the right words when speaking, i thought I must be really tired. I’ve had some experience with brain fog because of the dysautonomia, but it usually doesn’t last long. Today I also couldn’t get any work done, im struggling even typing this post because the letters don’t make sense.

My question is, if this is an emdr hangover, will it get better? I have another session scheduled for next week but as I haven’t gotten any uni work done because I’ve felt all sorts of bad, im not sure if it’s in my best academic interest to continue with the sessions. Was it just really bad because it was the first session? Or should I just wait until the semester’s done and then continue?

I’m so sorry if this doesn’t make sense, as I said, words are hard right now