r/Dissociation

I haven't been diagnosed with DPDR but nothing ever feels real to me. Since childhood, when I was around 7 or so is the first time I remember, I've felt like nothing around me was real. I remember being so convinced that I was dreaming and needed to make myself wake up somehow around 13. It's never gotten better. Sometimes I have episodes of it strong enough where I start to get a little unsteady, like I can't figure out how to place my body in an unreal world. I've never fallen from this or anything like that, but my brain convinces me I'm going to. I start having trouble writing and typing, fine movements become difficult. I can still do it but my handwriting does get noticeably worse even though it's already bad in the first place. Sometimes my body feels distorted, like I'm too big or too small for my surroundings, especially when I try to fall asleep. I sleep all the time because I'm just always exhausted even if I slept fine.

When I look into the mirror, my face doesn't look like my own. Sometimes my body doesn't feel like mine and my voice doesn't sound like mine. This tends to correlate with these episodes of deja vu I get where everything feels scripted, like I've seen and said it all before. A few times it's been the opposite where somewhere I've been lots of times feels unfamiliar and I feel like I shouldn't be there.

My memory is terrible, especially for people. The days all blend together, people blend together, I can't remember someone's name I've heard ten times already. I can barely feel emotion for big things that happen and then cry over tiny shit. Everything is just always wrong.

However, I don't know if I can have DPDR. I don't have any trauma and usually trauma is required for a dissociative disorder to form. It can't be drug induced either because I don't do drugs.

So yesterday I apparently spent the entire day thinking and acting like I was 7 years old, despite me actually being 22 years old in real life and having no history of age regresaing as far as I'm aware of.

I do have a history with psychosis and other forms of diasociation, but never have I experienced age regression (I don't even remember yestersay at all).

Basically I'm trying to understand what happens during this dissociative episode, and I find that the tiktok community wasn't any f-ing help (yayy...).

➡️ I just want to know what happens, what causes it, what I can do, and how I can avoid it (I'm open to hearing about other ppl's experiences too♡).

Thanks in advance!^^

Ketamine infusion therapy that is. I'm curious cause of course with this comes treatment resistant depression. I know it's a dissociative amnesia and may be counter intuitive I'm not sure. I'm still looking for options or remedies and this seems very promising for trd. Not sure about e dissociation however.

Im 20 and not new to dissociation but ive never experienced something like what happened the other day.

So ive been stressed over financial situations recently and got into a fight with my sister that triggered my stress.

I went to my room because i needed to cry and when i started crying i just couldnt stop. It was uncontrollable sobbing and i needed to scream and make sound but couldnt (cuz it would alert my family lol) so i kept it silent but i did have some jerk reactions of my mouth and also trouble breathing.

This is where it gets weird, suddenly i stopped crying and started looking at a point in my room and my vision went unfocused, i couldnt blink nor cry or move any of my muscles, i was sort of calm but i was out of it, it felt like dissociation except i couldnt blink and i couldnt move nor speak at ALL, i also couldnt swallow.

After like 10minutes i was able to move my fingers a little and blink but when i tried speaking it came out slurred and was super hard.. Moving was VERY hard aswell because my body felt super heavy.

My arms my legs my head everything felt super heavy. I almost fell when i was eventually able to get up, my body was too heavy.

I did progressively start to feel better but it took like an hour and a half or so .. Its weird cuz when i dissociated as a teenager it felt more like an out of body experience like i was seeing myself from out of my brain. But i could move and blink n stuff.

Has anyone else had a similar experience??

i cannot get aroused anymore. It is giving me depression. i know it is not physiological but psychological. i also have lower back issues so that could be a problem

I’m trying to explain this properly because it’s hard to put into words, but I feel like I’ve never actually lived in my body.

It’s like all of my awareness is stuck in my head, almost behind my eyes, and the rest of my body just feels distant or kind of numb. When I try to focus on my body it feels uncomfortable and unnatural, like I’m not used to being there.

It gets a lot worse around people. As soon as I’m in a social situation I go even more into my head and become really self-aware. It feels like I’m trying to control myself from my brain instead of just naturally being there, and it makes me anxious because I don’t feel present or real.

I also notice that I overthink everything I say or do, and I can’t just relax into the moment. It’s like I’m watching myself while trying to act normal at the same time.

I have so much I want to do and experience in life, but even just being feels uncomfortable a lot of the time. Like I can want things and imagine living fully, but actually being in my body and present to life feels difficult or off in a way I can’t fully explain.

I’m 16F and in school, I associate what I experience with dissociation but could be something else. I do feel happiness and anxiety but when i cry I don’t feel sad even when I should or in general I don’t really feel anger or sadness. I’ve had times where for me time basically skips, and for what I know based on a recording of me I just end up freezing or getting to a safer position if it occurred when I do martial arts. I don’t normally notice it happening unless there is a clear difference before and after the moment. Thats what I’ve attributed to dissociations, sorry if I’m wrong.

I’ve had a crush? Vaguely. After the summer I think this coping method relaxed and I felt something, basically too much? My body essentially went in and out of comprehending time over and over again. I’m not sure if I liked that guy but he definitely caused something. Perhaps because I was feeding into it because it was something I’ve never experienced, my sense of wanting to be around him also increased so I assumed I liked him. And I did flush around him but overtime it stopped perhaps correlated with the increased school stress. I don’t think I like him anymore?

Anyway. I’m extremely stressed out now, I’ve never really felt as numb? Like I can be happy its just something I’m also able to switch out of whenever. Going back to the main point I think I like this different guy? I like being around him, and I’m certainly closer to him than the previous crush, anyway as a slightly delusional person I like to imagine random scenarios with people and people includes him and scenarios being like future stuff.

I’ve also always said I was aroace because I’ve always attributed liking people with getting butterflies.

I do want to know if it is possible I like this guy, if you do want to know more I’m willing to say if it helps deducing things.

Also sorry if this isn’t proper Reddit stuff I don’t often come on here besides occasional lurking.

I first got DPDR in 2024. The intense 24/7 phase lasted about 3 months, then on and off episodes until mid 2025. I’ve had zero episodes for the past 6 months.

My dissociation was caused by intense anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia, then they fed each other in the worst way. Panic triggered dissociation, dissociation made the panic worse, stuck in that loop, ended up avoiding everything and barely leaving home.

My symptoms (skip if triggering)

- Watching the world through a foggy glass panel.

- Hyperawareness of autopilot everyday stuff, like suddenly being too aware, “I am walking, why am I able to walk? How am I doing this?”

- My voice not feeling like mine. Couldn’t recognise myself in the mirror.

- Family and friends felt unfamiliar.

What helped

- Listening to reassuring audio related anxiety, panic attacks and DPDR. I’d play sth relevant and calming in the background again and again. Hearing it described scientifically and repeatedly slowly planted the right mindset. The reframing (that it’s really just a brain protection mechanism) sank in over time.

Another reason I chose audio was that I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. Then I figured if I can’t stop thinking about it, I should at least feed my brain the right stuff. So I stopped reading about symptoms and only listened to things and recovery stories that reassured me.

- Grounding with someone I trusted. I’d ask my partner who are you, where are we. She’d answer patiently. Then gradually she started asking me back so I had to find the answers myself. Learnt later that this is a type of grounding technique.

- Therapy. It really depends on the therapist. Some said things that genuinely stuck with me. I turned those golden sentences and useful reframing into audio and listened to them before and during triggering situations.

A tool I built from all of these

Reassuring audio was the thing that helped me most and I couldn’t find anything built around it — so I built one myself. It’s a free app with supporting audios for anxiety and panic. There’s specific audios for DPDR to listen to when things feel off, and others that explain panic attack symptoms with science so they feel less frightening.

I am genuinely curious if this is helpful (even just a bit). If you want to try it and give honest feedback, drop a comment or DM and I’ll share the link.

Not a sponsor at all. Just sharing what worked for me and hoping it helps someone else.

Thanks for reading the whole thing.

Hello im well idfk.. I guess chaos is good enough

So ive had observed and recorded (got called personality issues when I was young identity issues now) issues since I was very young

And it wasn't till I was misdiagnosed in a chain as other things after mental health caused me to drop out. Till a Dr got to "its d.i.d/nsdd" vibe years after

And i spent pretty much 2015(maybe year earleir or later?)-60 days ago as a rapid switching system where my transition and social everything kinda stayed in a frozen limbo idfk state of conflict

And from sept 10th - sept 15th when someone close did some sexual trauma stuff to me causing collapse and relapse till Feb 14th when my ex did some trauma stuff

It was a chaotic shit show where to what I remember only fragments of that all

And then something happaned after all that from the 15th to 20th a crashout of new levels that almost entirely blacked out

And first thing of a true memory me remembers is the 21st asking why tf is everything so cute and childish (my room when waking up)

Everything from 0-19 is like its been turned into a book the emotional connection is gone but the "What happened and the timeline is clear, more clear than ever

But its like im not connected to it personally

It's like im reading a story book and there's maybe 1-5 pictures of it in the story but no emotions or connection just the facts (as my crazy head remembers) of what happened

And 20-now is like its there but.. redacted? Blurred? Like as my brain experiences new things it will blur blackout people situations info and more

I've seen my ex both them who helped cause this since happened and both their faces are still blurred

And its been 60 days now since. During that time ive seen more doctors then the last 5 years combined and therapists and psychs and anything I can...

Asking friends and even friends of friends if they know anyone

And none not dr or friends or randoms ive ran into have a clear view of anything going on and I feel utterly crazy

And that the world is pointing me back to the two who caused it for various reasons of they're the only ones who ik with similar issues or know people with similar issues...

Old me kinda fucked my situation socially with the alters and anger over them

And im lost i prob sound crazy

Or maybe info wrong somewhere ask questions I'll try to explain

I just need something >.<

Im lost and confused and it feels like there's a null empty blank void as.. Just me as a person. As new dr today with how I phrase a lot of myself, I view myself as an object not a person

Like I have a function not a life...

Idk my alters died but my innerworld is still around and In chaos with the alters just laying their dead

And a new me spawned into the madmax island and can almost puppet or loot the dead alters to get some info or skills but its not them and feels.. hollow...

&gt;.< sorry for crazy rant

I feel like I'm underwater. I lost my sex drove and habe chronic back pain as well

I just woke up from a weird dream that felt real, that’s usually normal for me but as soon as I woke up I felt really weird and unreal, like I was having trouble remembering anything, thinking slow, and I was still dreaming. I look over at my partner who is still asleep and get a really weird detached feeling from them like I almost don’t recognize them. It scared me. My anxiety usually thinks of the worst scenarios so now I’m scared of amnesia even though I know it’s probably just a weird sleep-wake thing. Does anyone else experience this??

Dissociative Seizures due to FND?

Found out I also have FND (Functional Neurological Disorder) and frequently have dissociative episodes. There’s not a ton of info on them, so I’m curious what your all experiences have been with them? For me personally, I stare off into space, no thoughts, it’s like everything freezes in time, my head bobs up and down, rocks back and forth, my body sways, sometimes there’s twitching involved as well. I know when it’s happening but I can’t get out of it unless something pulls me out such as my husband squeezing me or talking loudly. Does anyone else have similar experience?

I'm tired of dissociation. I've had it for almost 2 years,so far and I don't see it ever ending after starting therapy. If it doesn't end I realyl don't see a reason in living. It's literally been a 24/7 nightmare. a confusing,uncertain and distressing nightmare.

I’m currently 15, and I’ve been in this state of derealization for a year now.

It first stated slow, I would experience it in school once in my day on a daily basis, and then go back to normal. Eventually it become more ongoing and I would have very few moments where things felt real again. And when I did, they only lasted for a second or two. I don’t even get those anymore. Now it’s like I’m watching myself experience life it feels like. I’ve gotten use to it I guess, I have to remind myself this isn’t normal. I feel more disconnected when I’m going through a stressful moment which makes sense. But I really need some advice on how to move forward, I don’t want my symptoms to get worse. I would tell my parents, I love them, but mental health isn’t something they’re the most familiar with. I don’t know how they would react. I don’t know if they would actually help me get treatment or something.

Is there a way I can handle and get rid of this on my own? Or must I get some sort of medical attention?

I just don’t know how to process this and no one responds to these things anyways (I know I sound like I’m whining but I’m a little emotional so just bare with me I guess)

I’ve been assaulted many times before but when I moved away from my family and started dating someone for the first time and fell completely in love, I thought I put it all behind me. So when my partner assaulted me it just kind of broke my brain. Not even what he did, but the fact that it happened AGAIN after I had already mentally closed that chapter and also completely placed my trust in him. It’s the fact that I was completely blindsided that I find intolerable. That I wasn’t prepared, that I lost control. I cannot separate what he did from myself and I’ve been immersed in this intense dissociative fog for the last year and a half. I have severe symptoms, I feel like it’s daytime when it’s nighttime, nothing feels real, etc. I think I feel an incredible amount of shame and self blame and I need to let my body process that so I can relax. When I cry and get insanely emotional I feel better after for about 20 minutes, even *almost* normal (one time), then the fog sets in again. And I do exposure therapy and my symptoms have definitely improved, (I have agoraphobia. When I leave the immediate area the derealization gets wayyyyyyyy worse and it’s terrifying). I’m just crashing out a little bit this morning because I don’t think my current therapist knows how to help me (she’s not a trauma therapist) and I have an appointment with a new one (yay) but I’m just frustrated and feel like I’ve wasted so much time despairing about being incurable. I haven’t felt normal or present for so long. I’ve missed out on developing friendships and even a new relationship because I’m so emotionally withdrawn and when I try to connect with people my head gets foggy and I have to go home even though part of me is still screaming for connection.

I guess I want to know if other people feel this way because it’s truly such an isolating feeling. And also if anyone who has been groomed their whole life and had the agency beaten out of them knows how to practice creating room for their emotions without attacking yourself like it’s YOUR fault you can’t feel your emotions I guess that would be helpful too. Not fixed, just advice.

I heard it’s best to not focus on the tightness, like if you have it in your head, between the eyes, or anywhere in your body.

Instead if you have tight muscles, for chest or pelvic or back or jaw tightness, try anything whats written below

Try laying down on your side with your knees flexed slightly almost up to 90 degrees. Place a weight on the side of your ribs (it can be high closer to your arm pit or lower down your ribs) place it where you feel like it could help and then tune your attention to the tightness. Use like 15 lbs or higher. If it doesn’t work the first time, keep trying it could take practice but try to relax as fully and completely as you can.

For other areas of tightness too: (you can always mess around and experiment and tune it better to you for what’s written in the post)

It helps to lay down and put a weight on the area of tightness maybe your lower back or even sides of your ribs if that’s where you’re tight and relax completely and fully. If the side of your ribs are tight, lay on your side and rest the weight on your ribs. Also another trick with side tightness or maybe pelvic tightness is try placing it on your hips or higher butt when you lay on your side with your legs slightly folded up to like a lil less than 90 degrees or whatever feels right. (Just lay where it feels right and place the weight wherever it feels good or right to you for everything I mentioned). Tune your attention to the area you’re aiming for. It takes some getting used to, if it doesn’t work at first try again but it probably will work.

If you have a stiff neck or jaw, sit up and move your head in fully circles very very slow over and over again. Do circles as if your stretching your neck in all directions and try to feel and sense every muscle in your neck stretch. You can even open and close your jaw very slightly (starting near the starting of extension movement of the neck) relax the whole time, let the jaw slightly open don’t force it wide. Just try to relax and rest your mind as much as possible too.

Attachment is the root of all misery

Been switching between dissociation and crashing out lately. I try to study and it's just static tbh. Its very hard to comprehend what I'm reading, when usually that's the easy part.