u/angelangelan

I cannot say the name of my actual diagnosis because it gets automatically deleted but it is one where I cycle through episodes of feeling really fucking awesome and then really fucking bad. I have not found a medication that actually does anything for me.

Some days I'm like, hell yeah let's draw 50 boxes, and then other days I can't even summon the will to get out of bed until I have to go to class and then when I'm home I immediately go back to sleep. It doesn't help that all improvement has halted and I don't know why, because even when I am drilling boxes I still can't think in 3D.

How do I get disciplined when my mind is so goddamn inconsistent

For the last 3 years or so, I've been getting these episodes of deja vu. They last anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes, and during that time everything feels scripted, like I've said and done those exact things before. It's not just a vague feeling, it feels like I have lived in that exact moment before. I know I can't but it feels like I'm predicting what people are saying. Sometimes I also get the opposite where somewhere I've been feels intensely unfamiliar and like I shouldn't be there. Does anyone else get this? Is it just a part of the anxiety I get with my BPII?