Anyone else???
I’m trying to explain this properly because it’s hard to put into words, but I feel like I’ve never actually lived in my body.
It’s like all of my awareness is stuck in my head, almost behind my eyes, and the rest of my body just feels distant or kind of numb. When I try to focus on my body it feels uncomfortable and unnatural, like I’m not used to being there.
It gets a lot worse around people. As soon as I’m in a social situation I go even more into my head and become really self-aware. It feels like I’m trying to control myself from my brain instead of just naturally being there, and it makes me anxious because I don’t feel present or real.
I also notice that I overthink everything I say or do, and I can’t just relax into the moment. It’s like I’m watching myself while trying to act normal at the same time.
I have so much I want to do and experience in life, but even just being feels uncomfortable a lot of the time. Like I can want things and imagine living fully, but actually being in my body and present to life feels difficult or off in a way I can’t fully explain.