r/BipolarReddit

Anyone who’s had periods of Anhedonia during depressive episodes, when did you finally start wanting to watch shows again or read books?

I’m finally coming out of a horrible depression but still can’t quite bring myself to fully care about movies or shows. I miss them and I’m so bored watching reels for hours. I’m not even interested in reading which I used to love. I’ve been feeling better for weeks now, but still loss of interest.

There is no middle ground in my head. There never has been. You are either the most wonderful person I have ever met, or I am done with you. A situation is either going perfectly or it is a complete disaster. I am either thriving or I am falling apart. There is no in between. There is no gray area. There is no maybe.

For most of my life I thought this was just who I was. Passionate. Intense. All-in. I wore it like a personality trait, like something that made me interesting. It wasn't until I got my bipolar diagnosis at 45 that someone finally put a name to it: black and white thinking. Cognitive distortion. All-or-nothing thinking. Call it what you want — what it actually is, is exhausting.

With summer on the way I thought is might be a good idea to let others know that taking antipsychotics greatly increases a person’s risk of heat stroke.

Dehydration can also cause lithium levels to become toxic.

Antipsychotics can make it harder for us to sweat. Sweating is the bodies best way of cooling down when things are hot. If you are new to antipsychotics be sure to have an Air Conditioner on standby and a trusty bottle of water full when things are hot.

Be sure to drink water and stay out of the sun and heat.

I can’t seem to add links to resources on this so I will post them in a comment.

I am 20f , I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder exactly one year ago since then I have been on meds and it feels like I am not living my life and just surviving and passing the days. Since childhood I was brilliant in studies and then I went into a relationship and even then I was managing it all with my studies. I broke up last year in Feb and many things happened by his side which ended me into bipolar disorder since then I have anxiety panic attacks and I am unable to study. I have lost that spark of mine where I was very much determined about being successful in life. I have lost all the motivation, I am emotionally numb and many times it is like my whole body starts paining like hell. I want to regain rebuild myself into a calm determined person taking care of my health first. what should I do to slowly build myself it's been an year now I have done nothing just studying to pass the semester exams only. I want to make myself strong and bold enough to face the challenges in life.

I will be really grateful to you all for helping me out into this.

My 10 yo child asked me today if they have Bipolar. They know I do, so they put two and two together and figured they might. I reassured them they didn't but it got me thinking... when do I tell them that they have to be in the look out for signs of the disorder just in case? When do I give them the heads up that they have a genetic susceptibility to this disorder?

I work in a doctors surgery and all the doctors and managers know of my diagnosis due to having had significant periods of time off work due to episodes.

Every now and then I'm hit with embarrassment and cringe so hard at the fact that these people know of my diagnosis. I wouldn't have told them had I have had the choice. They've all been great and understanding about it but I just feel embarrassed when I think about it. The issue is entirely my own.

My boss has seen me deeply depressed and sent me home from work, I've almost cried in front of her too, so I cringe about that and feel so weak when I think about it.

None of them have seen me manic but I have had time off for it, so they've seen me in the days leading up to the episode, where I'm overly happy, not sleeping etc and I find that embarrassing too.

Not sure how to get over it. Are you the same?

Hi I’m 21 female, diagnosed with bipolar 2, and I’m looking for advice and suggestions. This one might be long so I’m sorry for that, I’ll decide it into paragraphs

1. I’ve struggled with a violent rage due to my bipolar from a very young age, though I never wanted to nor ever did physically hurt anyone else but myself. The main way I do this is slamming the heel of my palm into my temple as hard as I can when my anger is triggered. It’s extremely cathartic for me, and keeps me from hurting anyone or anything else.

Punching pillows does not help, screaming into a pillow does not help, clapping my hands only helps sometimes but is also too loud and startling to others. Counting to ten makes me more angry, so does trying to breathe deeply, in fact most of these make me feel small and weak when I do them, especially in front of people.

2. I want to know if the fact I’ve done this could have done genuine damage? Like recently I’ve had ice pick headaches specifically in my temple, and I’m wondering if I should mention this to my dr just in case.

3. Does anyone else experience this, and the rage towards calming tactics like I do? I’ve never ever been able to find much info at all online, all I get are helplines or the same calming tactics repeated on every article I see. Honestly I’ve noticed the rage and violent tendencies experienced with mood disorders isn’t very talked about, which is upsetting cause I’ve always felt like a horrible person for feeling and doing these things….

4. Does anyone who does experience this, or even who doesn’t but are well versed with calming rage know any techniques I can use to calm myself? Ways I can stop hitting my head but have it still feel cathartic in the moment? I preferably need things I can do in a moment where I’m face to face with one or more people, and also things I can do on my own. Some things I’d be willing to try alone, but for some reason I’m always extremely embarrassed and feel so childish when I use tools like this in front of others.

Any advice that’s different from what I’ve described here is very appreciated! I really want to and need to get control of my anger, I know I can improve because I am far less angry than I was as a teen, but I’ve plateaued on progress with it for years now.

I don't know how to even put all of this into words. Sometimes when I'm low or depressed, I shut down completely. And I've told few of my true friends (I don't have many it's just very few) about that and told I'll need space at times. And they say that they do understand. But yet they get worried about me if I don't text properly one day. It's frustrating because I know they're just worried about me because they truly care, and its also so annoying that they're worried about me constantly (I don't hurt myself nor use substances - I'm actually just fine except for having to deal with intrusive and disturbing thoughts for which I need my own time to process)

wtf is the point anymore. I think everything is just a winless situation, some sort of trap.

they said give me 5 years and do everything right..... wrong.

I've been awake months. no amount of olanzepine is helping.

I quit, done, throwing in the towel

Hi all, just needing to vent. As the title suggests, my diagnosis of bipolar 1 got “upgraded” to something spicier. Yay me! (Not.) Anyway, the antipsychotics have been giving me a vicious appetite, and I’m experiencing huuuuuge negative symptoms. Like, all I do is work and lay in bed. It’s depressing. My antidepressants HELP but they don’t really fix this. Anhedonia, avolition and executive dysfunction are super bad right now. So… I was reading that nicotine affected these negative symptoms and cognitive deficits associated with both bipolar and schizophrenia-spectrum conditions, and well… I caved. I’m not advocating for its use. Just saying I’m desperate for relief and now I feel terrible about myself. I don’t want an addiction. Yet I feel like this condition naturally facilitates that. Am I imagining it? I mean, when it comes to resisting something like nicotine I feel like the cards are stacked against me neurochemically. I still have the vape. Throwing my last one away backfired - I just ended up buying another when I had a mini episode last night. So now I don’t know what to do. Thoughts?

I’ve been pretty happy for the last six months, we lowered my meds and it seemed to be good. I got sad last week, one day I won’t get out of bed and the next I’ll be productive. Today I did nothing then drove around when it got dark for three hours and just cried the whole time. Maybe it’s because I’m unemployed and have nothing to do but it didn’t bother me before. I was thinking there wasn’t actually anything wrong with me and that all the doctors were wrong but now I feel bad again. But I don’t know if it’s because I’m bipolar or I’m just sad. When I was happy I missed being sad but now that I’m sad I’m so scared that I’m never going to accomplish anything real because at some point I’ll just get sad and give up. Idk I just wanted to tell someone because Im lonely

…. I really don’t want to get stuck again with weed. I guess I’m craving just the relaxation. Those who have quit for good, what do you do instead when you’re overworked and needing to wind down?

I just started and so far a positive experience, just curious how helpful it has been for others therapeutically.

For context I’ve already done cbt, DBT, act, humanistic / person centered, and studied IPSRT on my own

BP2

3 different psychiateist have told me i may be bipolar in the last week and that im manic rn but i just saw my thérapist and she says im not ?????? im confused ???? im 16yo

Good evening everyone, I've decided to write today to discuss bipolar disorder and medications, more as an open letter to the bipolar community. I know I struggle immensely to speak with the community because they don't like what I have to say a lot of the time but I'm open to try and be more understood.

I met my psychiatrist in my crisis resolution team today and talked about things. I explained my bipolar disorder, I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder subtype otherwise unspecified with ultradian or very rapid-cycling. There is a lot of evidence I have a neurochemical disorder, I have doubted the neurochemical imbalance theory a lot but given how much I feel I'm on an eternal drug trip, the signs are clearly there. I have accepted today that I have a profoundly hypersensitive neurochemistry, especially since my neurochemistry potentially has gone absolutely haywire after trying a second cup of valerian to see if it would stabilize my moods and reduce anxiety but it ended up having a mildly pro-manic, pro-anxiety effect. I am recovering a lot from anxiety, stress, and burdens I've held onto for too long. What is a massive relief for me is there's signs I won't progress any further neurochemically, I'm at the end stage of feedback loops inside my own brain accelerating into this point, it feels as if my moods have become as frequent, hypersensitive, and intense as they can ever be, I currently feel it isn't getting any worse. Listening to my unconscious speak for a moment (yes my unconscious started speaking to me after the most extreme manic episode I can have which scores a 10 on a 1 to 10 mania scale where 5 or 6 ordinarily lands you in absolutely peak delusional mania) from that perspective things aren't getting any worse but actually improving a lot because it's starting to become the fact that this is the only direction that things can ever go in now.

My current bipolar diagnosis is to say that I display very severe symptoms but demonstrate a functioning at a somewhat high level, however there are definite issues that have cropped up and this end stage state was reached due to a few weeks of stress but it's a huge relief on me to be at an end stage where I can learn to adapt as soon as I can in an environment that is very healing and peaceful, instead of putting anything off. I was remarked by the psychiatrist and nurse that I came across as an extremely gentle, mellow young man and I am working on myself to become a better person each day by always fully admitting to my mistakes and when I'm doing things wrong and embracing taking as much responsibility for everything I can, I take responsibility up until the point I have a complete physiological crisis where any semblance of control is thrown out the window. I don't push myself hard in a violent or harsh way at all anymore, I push myself hard because I must. The good news is as the days progress my mood could be stabilizing so much due to stress relief, overcoming anxieties, recognizing my past mistakes, and just talking lots and lots to different people and establishing very firmly that there's always someone to turn to. I got here because I spent four years with a deep understanding I must work on myself and radically change myself as a person as four years ago in peak delusional mania it was having the intuition that I absolutely couldn't afford to keep going the way I was going.

The good news is for whatever reason my cognitive faculties keep improving rapidly. For instance, I have had intense improvements in self-monitoring as I'm able to monitor for very subtle signs of things such as nervous energy or tension or mania developing so that I can resolve how I feel and regulate. I've had to be patient for my brain itself to catch up to the reality of my situation and it finally has fully accepted it so there is zero denial at this stage, it's just working through things.

So I took a second cup of valerian in the hope it would stabilize my moods. It acted very mildly pro-manic and pro-anxiety today which is a setback but nothing major or the end of the world. I took 5mg olanzapine and found it made a big difference just by moving the needle somewhat and helping to drown things out. At least I'm having the time of my life but I'm just so tired and exhausted and have an immense desire to sleep better since the few weeks I struggled to sleep beginning with physical health problems knocked the sails out of me. I will speak with a psychiatrist or a pharmacist when I can to describe my drug effects and how things are going. Part of my treatment plan is keeping a medical journal. I will now unwind by a strong self-regulation technique I found which was lowering my activity levels and engaging in very repetitive tasks with something fun to do. I know that where I'm at now is I'll have extremely strong psychiatric treatment compliance since I see the olanzapine as a profoundly positive experience and would be willing to keep taking 5mg and monitor how it evolves from here.

I'm in the best hands now so things are getting better for me in a lot of ways. At least that intense increase in my capacity to self-monitor where I'm catching onto crazily subtle shit makes me feel like a far more competent, capable person in one of the areas of competency to have. I have a diverse set of symptoms too to consider but at the moment I'm focused on my bipolar symptoms and symptoms of anxiety. There's heavy psychological factors with the anxiety and its not just over the top moods.

Thanks for hearing me out and I'll keep forming a strong therapeutic alliance with my psychiatrist, as that's very important, and I've struggled too long with controversy about psychiatry.

during this pacing also had racing thoughts, suicidal ideation, anxious distress. and could only asleep four hours a night.

I cannot tolerate any antipsychotic (Abilify, Olanzapine, Vraylar, Seroquel, Risperdal) they all give me severe akathisia! So bad that during my first psychotic break and hospitalization I was rejected from outpatient after being inpatient because I was so incredibly agitated. They sent me to a dual diagnosis substance abuse/mental health 30 day residential facility where they finally realized I had akathisia and the psychiatrist an actual MD who was also a professor told me to my face “you can never take antipsychotics again”…

I have had 2 more hospitalizations since then and every time I get akathisia!!! I finally refused Risperdal after 7 days during my most recent hospitalization. I told them it only works the first few days like 4-5 days then the severe akathisia sets in!!

My psych NP said we could try Clozapine that it has the lowest risk of causing akathisia but she said I have to warn you it can cause a lot of weight gain and heavy sedation and requires weekly blood draws…

My mood stabilizer Depakote doesn’t seem to be sufficient anymore in stabilizing my mood. I am at the highest end of the therapeutic dose. I just had my blood drawn to check my levels again but I don’t expect there to be any more room in the therapeutic range for me but we’ll see…

does anyone else suffer from anxiety so intense that it physically feels real, not like physical symptoms in the body but im experiencing this anxiety as if the bad thing has already happened, my anxiety is 100% true, and i am simply anticipating the horrible thing because in my mind its true

no amount of reassurance or logical reasoning can snap me out of it

has anyone had this before and how do people deal with it?

thank you