fuck middle ground
There is no middle ground in my head. There never has been. You are either the most wonderful person I have ever met, or I am done with you. A situation is either going perfectly or it is a complete disaster. I am either thriving or I am falling apart. There is no in between. There is no gray area. There is no maybe.
For most of my life I thought this was just who I was. Passionate. Intense. All-in. I wore it like a personality trait, like something that made me interesting. It wasn't until I got my bipolar diagnosis at 45 that someone finally put a name to it: black and white thinking. Cognitive distortion. All-or-nothing thinking. Call it what you want — what it actually is, is exhausting.