r/BetaReaders

Hey everyone,

I just finished my novel The Timeless Ronin (~94k words) and I’m at that point where I’ve read it too many times and can’t see it clearly anymore.

I’d really appreciate some fresh eyes before I call it done.

It’s a historical fantasy about a samurai who dies during the Siege of Osaka in 1614… and then wakes up unable to die. From there he spends centuries wandering through Japan under different identities, watching everything change while he stays the same.

In the present day, he’s living as a university professor teaching the same history he actually lived through, trying to hide who he is. But his past starts bleeding into the present more and more.

I’m mainly looking for general reader experience:

• where it drags or moves too fast
• anything confusing
• how the character feels over time
• whether it holds your interest

Honestly just reactions, thoughts, and vibes help a ton.

No strict timeline or anything.

If anyone’s interested, feel free to DM me.

Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Hi!

Looking for beta readers for my romance novel. Bonus points if you are also a reality tv/Bravo fan.

Blurb: There are only a few rules in reality tv. Number one- producers and cast members are forbidden from falling in love.

If only it were that simple.

I didn’t think I would ever be an on set producer in reality tv again, but here we are. Now all I have to do is keep my head down and do my job the best I can so I can rebuild my career. The only problem is, doing my job involves talking to Dan Palmetto every day. 

He’s grumpy, he’s never been on TV before, and he doesn’t trust anyone. So we make a truce to help each other out. I’ll make sure he doesn’t look like a fool on TV. He’ll hype me up when things get rough.

But I have to remind myself that he’s off limits. Even though he’s charming and handsome and might be the perfect guy…I can’t risk everything to know what it’s like to kiss him, right?

Hit me up if you're interested!

Hi everyone,
This is a linear story arc for a game I'm making, but for now it's a standalone side story since I haven't written the main story yet. Though our game won't be told linearly or in a way using a lot of text, I wanted to convey the type of feeling I had thinking of it as a proof of concept.

So, inspired by many, many, many web novels, I wrote this! I never written before, but I can say I have a vivid imagination and a really strong foundation and everything kind of just fell together.

The foundation was a creation myth I would base our entire worlds off of. I'll show it here but note that the creation myth is for the main story, but there are some hints within the side story. There are some endings too of our game but I don't think I want to expose too much. Anyways, if you're interested, please PM me and I can provide a word doc or google doc.

What I'm looking for:
- Was the pacing okay?
- Which moments were the most engaging?
- Which moments were the least engaging?
- Did you grow attach to any of the characters?
- Which pieces of symbolism were most obvious/interesting to find.

Creation Myth:
Before existence, there was Nothing and nothing. Nothing could not exist beside nothing, for to be Nothing, there must be something. Nothing wished to be nothing, and nothing wished to remain nothing.

Thus, Nothing’s desire gave birth to the first flame of existence, by which it would immolate its brother.

Consumed by the flame, nothing burned with desire. In its incessant hunger, nothing’s wishes were devoured; nothing wished to scream, yet had no mouth; nothing wished to live, yet could not be; nothing wished to die, yet could have no end.

Instead, the flame roared—thus were the Roars of Creation.

Instead, the flame persisted—thus were the Embers of Life.

Instead, the flame waned—thus were the Ashes of Death.

Knowing it could not exist with existence, Nothing became Corruption: A flame unto itself, that would erase all that ever was.

Defiled by Nothing, the flame could not divide, for its warmth was all encompassing; thus, it shattered itself upon the glass of reality that once reflected its light.

Yet that which was left corrupted remained aflame, Nothing sought to extinguish it, yet the flame too fed on Nothing. So was born a cycle of life and death, endlessly repeated as time. The flame named itself Desire, for only it was left eternal, and it longed for its shards to reunite to become whole once more.

Description: I'm writing a thriller/horror novel called, Plastic Bag. The story revolves around a plastic surgeon who kills his patients. Major themes of the novel are women's bodies, beauty standards and what it means to be an artist and create legacy. The story is told from his perspective and his voice is meant to be clinical and somewhat egotistical.

Feedback: The following excerpt is the prologue. Please let me know your thoughts. What you like, what you don't like, the tone so forth.

It's important to me that the beginning of the prologue reads as a red herring of sorts such that the reader is lead to believe that the prologue is opening into a butcher shop with an animal being carved up. Near the end of the prologue it becomes clear that the 'meat' is actually a human body.

Finding butcher terminology that can be applied to the butchering of animals and people that works for a serial killer book is what I'm ironing out here. I would love to hear from you if you feel that the way it's written works and if the reveal at the end pops/resonates or if there is something I can do to make it feel punchier and more disturbing.

Prologue:

Thighs are always so difficult to cut through. Normally, I’m used to separating the torso from the hip and then calling it a day, but this particular ham is too hefty to lift otherwise. The table I’m working on reverberates as I drop the slab of meat down. A splash of blood streaks across my face in defiance. I need a minute to catch my breath before I get back to dismembering the rest of the engorged carcass. 

The hormones and shit we put in our food these days… It’s not only grotesque, but it makes butchering harder when the meat has been fattened to such a disproportionate size. 
Bits of discarded trim and sinew squish beneath my shoes as I readjust my grip on the leg. Obesity is an unsightly sickness as it is, but the smell is worse– reminiscent of fetid produce and spoiled milk. 

In other words, trash. 

I drive my strength into the hilt of the saw stopping short of the femur. God, for someone who had undergone liposuction several times she has so much fat on her. Just another textbook example of how lipo is not a miracle surgery for weight loss. Nothing replaces a healthy lifestyle. No matter how rich you are,  how many times you go under the knife, liposuction is often like putting lipstick on a pig. I look down at the slabs of meat that used to make up Marie McDermott. I’m glad I got the post-op photos taken before she ruined my work. 

In this light she really does look piggish.

Do you know the story of how a prank almost led to a war? This is the tale of When the Smoking Mirror Ate the Sky

Deep in the jungles of what we call Mexico-city a few gods grew exhausted of their mortals constantly praying to them.

And so they decided to head to a far away desert. While there they decided to pull a prank on the regional pantheon. Thinking no permanent harm would be done, they arranged for a jaguar to devour the desert sun. The gods planned for a rattling spectacle, nothing more.

Bastet was the first to hear the pleas and cries of panicking mortals. At first glance, this seemed like a normal occurrence, the kind easily soothed out. She made her way down to the mortal realm, planning how best to put them at ease, an eclipse, she would tell them, she would tell them how the sun and the moon moved across the and how it's not the end of the world.

Although what she found stopped her in her tracks she felt a sensation of shock and disbelief. There she saw a black panther laying draped across the sun as though it had simply caught a fish from Ilhuicaatl.

Her surprise deepened when she attempted to communicate with the feline the way she communicated with any cat. Only for it to respond with a scowling face and a deep low roar. He tightened his emerald claws around the sun.

Still determined, Bastet tried everything: calls,chirps, toys, catnip, she eventually dove to the deepest parts of the sea and returned with the largest fish she could carry. Nothing appeased it. With her patience wound as tight as it could go, as she raised her khopesh to scare the creature away.

The Panthar spoke.

“If you strike me, I will hunt down every mortal and animal of this land and pile their corpses at your feet."

The words landed with unmistakable weight. This was no ordinary panther sent as a harmless errand. This was Tezcatlipoca himself.

The Aztec god assured Bastet there would be a new sun, provided the mortals offered themselves in sacrifice. She was not horrified by the suggestion she was a goddess of blood and plagues. What horrified her was his complete indifference to mortals, a god speaking about mortal sacrifice as casually as one might discuss the weather filled her with disgust.

The two deities began to hiss and circle. Fire engulfed and sand surrounded Bastet as she transformed from her gentler aspect and rose into her warrior form, the one her mortals knew through called Skemet.

As Tezcatlipoca shrunk from a panther into a man his eyes turned green and his spots began to glow purple. When he lifted his right arm over his head and reached down his back dark grayish-black smoke swirled around his hand as withdrew his maccuahital.

He gave out a low booming growl, she let out a thunderous roar. This would not be a quarrel between cats. But a battle between gods.

What kind of feedback I want: I want to know if this concept is worth continuing. Like Is the premise strong enough to sustain a Part 2?

Hey! I’ve just finished draft 8 (including a full POV rewrite 😅) and I’ve officially lost all objectivity. I’d love some fresh eyes on this before I call it done!

Warnings for: explicit open door sex scenes, mentions of a past controlling relationship.

The Story:

Victoria joins an online gaming world to rebuild her reputation after a very public breakup.

Instead, she ends up in a vicious rivalry with one player: R1FT.

They fight constantly.

The internet ships them anyway.

And somehow… they start falling for each other.

There’s just one problem:

R1FT's anonymity isn’t just a gimmick. He’s Theodore Spencer Lee, billionaire heir, and very much not supposed to exist online.

When they’re seen together in real life, the internet loses it.

She’s accused of dating two men.

The same two.

As the story spirals and her career starts collapsing (again), telling the truth could fix everything but it would destroy the only place Theo has ever been free.

I’m most interested in the reader experience.

Knowing how you feel about the characters as we go, the relationship, where it sags, where it goes too fast. What things I’ve left off page and confuse you. Parts you love, parts you hate. Things that I am way too close to see properly anymore. 

Feelings and vibes are everything! 

The First 300 Words:

>!Six months ago I was a millionaire. Now I'm sitting alone at four A.M, waiting for the internet to decide if I still exist.!<

>!I stared at the call invite, doodling in the margins of my notebook as I waited for my new colleagues. It’s either that or pick apart my hoodie thread by thread. This hadn’t been part of the dream when I was fifteen and thought YouTube fame meant freedom.!<

>!The invitation pinged. My fingers tightened around my pencil.!<

>!This was it. If they didn’t like me, my career was over.!<

>!“Evening guys,” said Alex, server leader and gatekeeper of my future. Around him, cameras flickered on.!<

>!“Mornin’?” Rosie's face appeared in the corner of my screen, hair still flat on one side. “Barely.”!<

>!“Right, it's early over there. Is that why you've not got your cameras on?” Alex asked.!<

>!I looked at my camera. I wasn’t ready to turn it on again yet, I wasn’t sure I’d ever be.!<

>!“They don't want us to see their pyjamas!” Another added.!<

>!“Bold of you to assume we're wearing any.” I only regretted saying it after.!<

>!“Oooh! I forgot. Lady Vex is here! Careful, she might curse our server!”!<

>!“I won't, but if you use Aetherfall trademarks, they might,” I said. The ghost of the indomitable Lady Vex laughed back at me with my own face. 1.2 million subscribers followed her when she left Aetherfall. Whether they'd follow me when I started posting again was the question that had stopped me being able to post anything in six months.!<

>!“Good point. Guys, I'm sending you some guidelines. Aetherfall is stringent about copyright, so be careful.”!<

>!“Can't believe you left a TV series for this.” Somebody said. “I've heard they're doing a movie.”!<

>!“That's why she's here,” Rosie said brightly. “She misses the game.”!<

>!I let her have it. Better than explaining how I'd spent two years watching the thing I built become my ex's show featuring me. It’d seemed reasonable when we were together. It had seemed like a lot of things.!<

If this sounds like your cup of tea, please drop a comment or send me a DM! I'd love to send over the first few chapters to see if we're a good fit.

 

Hi everyone!

I'm looking for beta readers for my high fantasy story. It currently sits at its 4th draft and I need outsiders' perspectives.

Blurb:

Nahia’s life shatters the night she is attacked by a monstrous creature. Anxiety-stricken, she must flee to the headquarters of the Guild of Magoi in Luminara, where she learns to control her newly found power. There, it is the relationships she develops that anchor her, though she makes mistakes that endanger her peers. She fears she is unworthy of love, and that her magic cannot be tamed.

She isn’t the only one affected by the presence of beasts. All over the continent, dark magic stirs and threatens everyone. Investigations are lacking and it falls upon Nahia to seek answers that will change not only her fate but also the rest of the world.

TW: explicit sex and violence, threats of sexual assault, anxiety and ideas of suicide.

I don't expect line edits, but this can be discussed if necessary. I especially need comments on pacing, interpersonal relationships (both platonic and romantic) and credibility of the villain.

I'll be okay with a swap if line edits aren't required and the length doesn't exceed 110K words. Genres for this include any kind of fantasy.

Ideally, I'd like to get comments in around two or three weeks after sending the manuscript.

If you are interested, feel free to leave a comment or DM me :)

Hey! I am looking for a fewbeta readers for my completed YA fantasy novel. Information given below :)

Quick pitch: Jacob Laxion is sixteen, homeless, and has nothing to his name, until the world starts bleeding into his life. The blood flowing through his veins is old as the gods themselves, and there are things out there that can smell it. It is a story about family, and a girl who deserves the world but gets the weight of it instead.

What to expect,

• Found family
• Original mythology
• High emotional stakes

Current status,

• First draft complete, 3 acts, 81 chapters
• Currently seeking feedback before editing.

What I am looking for:

• Honest constructive feedback,
• Reader reactions: what pulls you in, what loses you, which characters land and which don't,

Theme:

• Grief
• Obsession
• Violence
• Psychological tension

If you are interested, feel free to DM me. More than happy to swap manuscripts. Thankyou in advance!

What kind of feedback I want: I want to know if this concept is worth continuing. The story draws from both Egyptian and Aztec mythology, centering on a prank between pantheons that escalates into a confrontation between Bastet and Tezcatlipoca. Is the premise strong enough to sustain a Part 2? Would you read on?

Dm if your interested in a copy

Hello everyone, let's start with the blurb !

Blurb -

Zenalyan is the greatest weapon the Order of Melkna has ever forged and somewhere along the way, her duty consumed everything else she was.

The last Mald claimed her master forty years ago. Since then, she has led in his place, watching her once-formidable warriors crumble around her.  

When the Annual Gathering is disrupted with proof that the Malds have returned, Zenalyan rides ahead of her men, with a dark hope: that this time, the fight might finally end her. Because even the continent's finest warriors may falter before monsters that once destroyed kingdoms.

But instead, amid the chaos, she finds Gal. Alive. The man she loved, who abandoned her decades ago. And as the White Plains falls apart, Zenalyan is caught between the duty that swallowed her when he left—and the very man who reminds her she was meant to be more than a weapon.

---

Great, if you read this, maybe the blurb hooked you enough to read what comes next !

I need eyes to point out things I don't see on every aspects of the story. What you felt while reading all of this. Please give me your honest and constructive critique !

---

Excerpt -

“What a great fight!” I welcomed them.

A blade of magic shimmered into existence—too fast, too quiet. I ducked—barely. The blade sliced through where my neck had been, severing a lock of hair. His hood slipped back. Fury lit his face.

“Where is this coming from?” I lifted a hand to still my two companions. My pulse battered my ribs. I’d met him like this a thousand times in my head.

“You never thought this moment would come, Id’Iane?” he lowered his hood the rest of the way.

“Gal.” One look at his face and the warmth I’d chased for so long came flooding back.

And this time, he wasn’t running. Yet. My hand moved to smooth my hair. I forced it down.

He misunderstood me. I knew exactly where this was coming from. I had waited decades for it.

“The next one won’t miss, Princess,” he said. “It won’t end like it did when you left me dying beside my slaughtered brothers.”

“You mean when I spared your life—and Saki’s?” I leaned just enough to catch sight of his sister behind him.

He didn’t flinch.

“You mean the day killing you would have been easier than faking your execution?”

His mouth parted. Nothing came out.

“I needed you,” I pressed, laying a hand against his chest and meeting his eyes. One wrong word and he’d vanish again as he always did. “I kept finding you—and you kept running from me,” I said, voice quiet enough that only he could hear. “After all we were, you never believed your life was spared by will, not chance.” The words pushed past the knot in my throat. For a heartbeat, something flickered in his eyes—then shuttered.

I let my finger linger. “You can stay.”

“Or you can go,” I drew my hand back, walking away before I begged him to stay. Each step felt wrong, my feet unwilling to carry me from him. My heartbeat drummed in my ears. Behind me, nothing. No footsteps yet.

If I saw him leaving again—

---

Thanks for reading !

Hi! I’m looking for a few beta readers for just the first chapter of my manuscript.

But i’ll put the info of my whole novel below anyways :)

Quick pitch: In a society where magic is measured and determines your worth, eighteen-year-olds are evaluated and sorted into rigid castes. High-merit individuals rise, others are sent away permanently—depending on how useful they are to the government system.

Aracelia has spent her whole life on the inside of the system, shunned by her own people for having an unclassified power that does not fit within the system. As the system grows more and more corrupt, she realizes she cannot sit back any longer. She finds herself in a contradicting position of working with a rebel named Maveth, and the fear of rising against her own family.

What to expect:

-Multi-POV

-Strong focus on moral conflict

-Corrupt governing systems

-Wyverns, resistance groups, and hidden truths about the old world magic system

current status:

-first draft complete

-Currently revising chapters

What I’m looking for:

-Honest, constructive feedback (pacing, clarity, engagement)

-Reader reactions (what’s confusing, pulls you in, makes you lose interest)

Content notes:

-Class-based discrimination

-Swearing

-Emotional/psychological tension

-Some darker themes (no graphic content)

If you’re interested, please leave a comment or DM me. Thanks in advance!

Before I start my description, I want to let you know that this novel is a sort-of mess for a reason, and it’s part of the concept I am going for. If you prefer novels that are polished and professional, you probably won’t enjoy trying to read this. On the other hand, if you enjoy unserious novels, you might like this. Right now, I am both adding more and lightly editing as I go, and I’ll probably have about 70k words by the end. Feedback right now will help me adjust the story as I go.

Now here is the concept of the novel and why it exists (sorry for how long this is):

While this novel (first part of a series) follows a clear plot of adventure and has an end goal like many MG adventure novels, I wanted to add my own spin to this.

In this novel, the main character, Logan (eighth grade), attempts to adventure and complete quests with his friends to “save the dream realm,” which is basically where people's imaginations combine to form an entirely new world filled with magic, and really anything you could possibly imagine or dream of (hence, “dream realm"). The main antagonists, The Shadows, are the negative side of imagination: worries and fears.

I can tell you about the main plot in specific, but the most important part is how I plan to make this novel special. In many parts of this novel, things just seem to not have any value to the plot, or maybe they seem to but end up not, and I wanted this to reflect our lives.

In our lives, we simply cannot determine what happens, and I fear that the randomness (or slightly cringy parts) of the novel is something that many people are going to dislike.

In many scenarios, we can see the uncertainties that Logan has to think through. Sometimes, we don’t even know if they even happened, or if he made them all up, as this is written from his point of view. Oftentimes, what we see is just what we believe, so the "red herrings" thrown everywhere are reflective of that. There are many times when we are lead to believe that something is going to happen or someone is going to turn on us, when in reality nothing will really happen.

And I hope that this “fear of the unknown” has some sort of marketability that allows me to keep this novel as unserious as I can (because I’m unserious, and this novel is sort of about me).

I’m not looking for any sort of of sales or people even looking at this novel; I just want it to be finished and something that I am genuinely proud of. In fact, once I finish this novel, I highly doubt that I’ll even continue the series. (I want to write a adult/YA mystery or even a biography type of book)

I am currently in eighth grade, and I started this in seventh grade. So much has changed within me, especially my writing style. I’ve matured a ton with what I read and how I write, but I want to keep this novel “child-friendly,” so I’m kinda stuck writing like this.

If you decide you want to take up this task, I want to let you know that the entire (slightly edited) draft will not be done for a while (because I'm a student athlete with way to many extracurricular activities). However, the first half should be pretty much done within the next week, so you can still look through it and let me know how you want it to progress.

The feedback I am looking for is:

Does the concept work, or is it simply a messy blob of text?

If it’s messy, how could I improve on it without spending another year on editing?

What things would you like to see different (“Oh, I wish that __ happened instead of ___”)?

Would this appeal at all to middle schoolers or anybody in general, or am I just delusional (because I’ve thought about giving this up many times already)?

As a middle school student, would this novel have stood out to you, or is it something generic that you’ve read about many times?

And any other feedback you might have!

Thank you for so much reading this and considering beta reading!

Ciao a tutti,

Cetco beta readers per il mio romanzo di circa 70.000 parole.

“La Piuma” è il primo volume di una saga Urban Fantasy Young adult dove un gruppo di ragazzi si trova ad avere a che fare con magia... non proprio perfetta!

Se qualcuno é disponibile sarei felice di ricevere un feedback! Grazie

Hello, I'd love to find a few beta readers for my short story, set in 17th-century Sri Lanka. I'm looking for helpful and honest critique

Blurb - Sitti Fatima is a Sri Lankan Moor girl hailing from a coastal town. When she was a baby, her family was forced out by the invading Parangis. They found refuge in the Senkadagala Kingdom, where the last free stronghold of Serendib still remained. Sitti longs for the coast, while embracing the hills of Senkadagala. Will she ever return home to the coasts?

Excerpt -
Sitti Fatima gathered her long black hair and fashioned it into a bun just above the nape of her neck. She wore a vibrant blue saree with elaborate red patterns. She draped her dupatta over her head, covering her ears, from which her alukuttu—stacked gold earrings—dangled.

Her brother’s impish whistling had rubbed off on her, and she was whistling rather impetuously for a young woman. Her mother’s voice rang through, “Am I bringing up a young man? Stop that rowdy whistling, Sitti.”

Sitti stifled a laugh and asked slyly, “Was it as good as a boy’s, Umma?”
“None of that cheek, young lady. It’s already late. You should hurry to milk the cows,” Umma called out sternly.

Hi all, I'm writing my first novel. The full manuscript is 22 chapters and I have just completed a careful edit of chapter 1 (the editing is ongoing and fairly slow).

Description: the story blends a genre I'd describe as techno-mythic speculative fiction. It follows Ptolemy, an engineer summoned to resolve a "devine infrastructure" issue at the great pyramid of giza II. What begins as a routine systems malfunction quickly spirals into something far more existancial. DM me.

Hello!

I am looking for beta readers for my Gothic Tragedy screenplay. it's on its first draft, but I want to step away and allow others to give me some perspective so I can do a comprehensive rewrite and come out the end with the best final product.

By the way, this is an adaptation of Opeth's concept album, Still Life, so metal heads are encouraged!

Blurb

In the middle ages there lies an isolated Bavarian town, Gelassental, under the despotic rule of the church. A stranger, travelling under an assumed name, enters the town unrecognized after his exile many years before. He comes back to find his long lost love, but Gelassental will not let her go easily...

TW: Depicted on page there is heavy violence in the climax. There is heavily implied history of CSA, SA, physical abuse and more generally religious abuse. Wouldn't say it's for the faint of heart.

Although I'm looking mainly for a general overview and reaction to the text, things that I would like focused on if that were your preference would be: the distinction between character voices, the clarity of the plot (i.e effective use of foreshadowing and plot devices), interpersonal relationships between characters and historical accuracy.

I am absolutely open to a critique swap, preferably with the same or similar beta reading goals as what I have displayed. Near any genre besides straight romance or drama I would be open to. Any word count up to 150k.

If any of this piqued your interest, feel free to leave a comment or DM me!