r/ADHD

YouTube changed their algorithm in a way that makes commercial breaks appear in more cliffhanger type of moments in videos.

It always screws up my focus.

I will be deep into a talk, and it cuts to commercials, and by the time it's back, I've lost the flow of the conversation.

it's exhausting and just means another tax for people with ADHD.

I’m inattentive. I find myself feeling very hollow and not wanting to do anything outside of work. I quit gaming a few years back. And find myself just doomscrolling Reddit (mostly mental health or life stuff). I don’t use social media. I did the typical things like jiu jitsu rock climbing ect. I still climb for health reasons but quit the rest I don’t find things all that enjoyable.

I have good friends I connect deeply on an emotional level. From shared trauma.

I just find myself being very in my head and existential when not doing anything. Especially with what is my purpose in life— so it drives me insane if I don’t drown myself with distractions. If I’m not working towards my purpose I’d be wasting precious time on off. Middle aged now with no spouse or kids.

I see a lot of folks basically just go work then enjoy golfing or fishing or going to the local pub. Life is simple and they aren’t at all existential. Don’t use much phones at all or game.

Basically anyone reset their baselines? Is it possible to be “normal” like other folks with enough time de-stimulating ourselves”?

Thank you

Never been diagnosed but if you showed me an ADHD checklist at 12 I would have checked every box. Spent years thinking I was just lazy.

Eventually I stopped trying to fix my brain and started trying to trick it. Here's what actually stuck.

Preparing for future me like he's a different person - 9/10
Night before I lay out everything. Clothes, gym bag, ingredients already measured. I frame it as doing something nice for someone else and it actually gets done. Present me is apparently very generous lol.

Ugly first draft on purpose - 7/10
I tell myself I'm specifically trying to make it as bad as possible. Worst email ever written. Bypasses the paralysis completely because there's no standard to fail. Fixing it after feels easy, starting was always the problem.

Putting objects in weird places - 10/10
Keys on the freezer to remember to grab something from it before to go. Dumbbell in front of the bathroom door so I remember I wanted to train. Simple and never fails me (because I know I'll forget otherwise😂)

Blocking short form content during focus hours - 9/10
Felt unnecessary at first, like I wasn't addicted or anything. But 10 minutes of scrolling before working made the first 30 minutes unbearable. I use ScrollFree, it only blocks reels and shorts without touching the rest of my phone. Any that does that works, that's just the one I landed on.

Singing tasks out loud - 6/10
Made up a song about taking out the trash. Sang it in a fake opera voice. Took the trash out. I will not be explaining this further haha.

One wet sock - 4/10 Put on one wet sock, can't remove it until the task is done. Tried it twice. Took it off both times. Leaving it here for whoever has more commitment than me lol.

What actually works for you? The weird ones nobody talks about are always the most effective, drop them below.

I’m 30F and got diagnosed with ADHD last year. I started Adderall XR, and it helps a bit, but I’m still pretty inattentive and lose my train of thought a lot.

Recently though, I’ve noticed something weird. When I’m at home and suddenly remember something embarrassing, I’ll literally scream out loud. And it’s been happening a lot. If I’m around people, I don’t scream, but I start kind of babbling instead. It’s honestly getting annoying.

This only started after I began Adderall. Before, I’d just shake it off and move on, but now that doesn’t really work.

Has this happened to anyone else? Any tips on how to deal with these random embarrassing thoughts or at least not react so strongly to them?

I feel like everyone around me does not process the same amount of information about their surroundings nearly as much as me. and honestly, it can get tiring sometimes.

For example a friend of a friend came over, and while I was studying, I heard her ask "How do I use this?" from the lower floor. She was flabbergasted that I knew she was using the microwave (I heard the sound of the door opening and the sound of her glass container touching the microwave plate) when I answered on how to use it.

How do you guys deal with this?

Hey everyone! I have been diagnosed with ADHD and wanted to see if this was a common theme with the community. So I (28M) am married to my amazing, patient, beautiful wife (29F). In the beginning of our relationship, I was guns blazing in terms of sex, needing/wanting it every day, multiple times a day. Now, 5 years later, sex has been on my mind less, and I struggle to initiate sex with my wife. I would say my sex drive has declined a lot, in addition to other factors.

My wife has brought up multiple times that she does not feel loved or wanted by me anymore, and that the lack of sex has led her to feel very insecure about herself. I obviously do not like that I have made her feel this way, and I want to fix this. My question is, has anyone gone through this, and what adjustments did you have to make to fix this?

For additional context, my wife has tried in the past to initiate herself, and sometimes I would be open, but most of the times I’d feel too tired or just not in the mood so I would decline. This contributed to her own self esteem dropping significantly.

She has brought up some of her sexual interests/fantasies in the past, but I haven’t been able to do those things for her as some of them don’t come naturally to me and I feel awkward even trying or thinking about it. It seems like in this relationship, I initiate sex only when I want it, and once I orgasm, I’m kind of done. This has done a lot of harm to our relationship and I want to fix this but honestly have no idea where to start.

I’m sorry if this is not the right place for this, but somehow the solution of “you’re a guy, just have sex” or “as a guy you shouldn’t even have this problem” has not helped in the past. Thank you for all of the advice!

I’m pretty sure my daughter has inattentive ADHD. And for a while, the guilt was quietly eating me alive.

My husband — who does not have ADHD — asked me recently if it’s genetic. I told him it’s about as heritable as height. Up to 80%. He just kind of nodded and moved on, but I sat with that for a while.

Because I’m tall. And my daughter is tall. And I have never once, not for a single second, felt guilty about that.

I know exactly what it’s like to be a tall girl. I know which stores carry the jeans with the long inseam. I know the comments people make. I know how to carry it. And instead of guilt, what I feel about her height is just… readiness. I’ve got her. I’ve been there. I can help.

So why is ADHD any different?

I didn’t choose this for her. I couldn’t have prevented it. And just like height, it came with some things that are genuinely hard — and some things that, once you understand them, start to look a lot like gifts.

The guilt isn’t completely gone. I’m working on it. But reframing it this way helped me shift from I’m sorry to I’ve got you — and that feels like the right direction.

Anyone else navigating this? Would love to know how other ADHD parents are making peace with the heritability piece.

ok so for years i kept thinking the problem was that i hadn't found the right way to organize everything. so i'd set up these elaborate structures, color coded, categorized, nested. and then i'd spend more time maintaining the system than actually doing anything. classic.

what actually helped wasn't adding more structure. it was removing decisions.

like:

• i stopped asking "what should i work on" and started just writing two lists: stuff i actually have to do today, and stuff that would be nice. that's it. no priority scores, no tags
• instead of scheduling my day in tight little blocks i give myself embarrassingly large windows. like "this is a 3 hour work chunk" and i don't care where in it things happen. weirdly i get more done
• i put a speed bump between me and the dumb autopilot stuff i do when i'm bored or avoiding something. just friction. doesn't have to be a wall, just enough that i notice i'm doing it
• when a task feels too big to start i just describe it out loud (or type it) like i'm explaining it to someone who's never heard of it. breaking it down for a fake audience somehow breaks the paralysis

the last one honestly surprised me the most. idk why narrating a task makes it feel smaller but it does.

what's actually survived longer than 2 weeks for you and what felt promising for like 3 days and then quietly died?

Bro I swear it’s physically impossible 😭
I’ll open my phone to reply to ONE text, and suddenly I’m 12 tabs deep checking emails I don’t need, scrolling memes, watching some random dude explain how to fix a sink I don’t even own.
Then 30 minutes later I’m like… what was I even trying to do??
My brain treats every socials like it’s a side quest 💀

Anyone else fail this test daily or is it just me?

First information given: my job is temporary, but still goes a couple of months. I always do the same shit everyday, I'm so fucking tired of it. As soon as I'm there my thoughts are like: I wish I wasn't here etc...

I'm also introvert, so the social contact make me literally SICK. All of this is giving me pure aggression and anger. Sometimes I punch my hand against the wall. As soon as I'm home I'm all drained up and not capable of doing anything productive anymore. It also can come from my depression, which is common to be combined with ADHD. Honestly I'm also thinking about vyvanse, to keep up with shit, but I also have tourette's so I'm scared my tics would increase. I'M FUCKING TRAPPED WITH THIS. I KNOW IT'S ABOUT MY MINDSET AND ALL, BUT HOW COULD IT HAPPEN, TO BE THIS DIFFICULT?! LIKE BRO, I JUST WANT TO FUNCTION...

I have learnt that this is a common trait, and as someone diagnosed recently, it has given me a whole new perspective on my personality.

While there are parts of ADHD I’ve learned to love ( focus and learning new things) , I am really struggling with my sense of justice. With the world being as chaotic as it is, I find myself constantly triggered by posts or news. I usually refrain from commenting because people can be vicious and I don’t want to invite that negativity into my family's life but keeping it in feels like a physical weight.

I know I’m not powerful enough to fix everything, but the unfairness of life feels so loud. Is anyone else in the same boat? How do you handle that internal fire without it consuming you?

Would love some tips or even just to know I’m not alone in this.

I get asked “are you having fun” a lot when I’m out because I don’t do the normal people things like smile or show enthusiasm.

I have to remind myself to smile like when i’m watching a band, or to bop my head or whatever. I can just enjoy standing and focusing on the music, but this seems to bother other people because of my perceived lack of enthusiasm. Then I have to mask enjoyment in a physical way, even though I don’t necessarily enjoy doing that.

Sometimes I just forget that normal people don’t have this issue, and then I feel I have to overcompensate just to “seem” normal. I can tell my friends want to see me enjoy stuff and sometimes it’s simply exhausting to “act.”

Does anyone else deal with this or is this just my dual diagnosis high-functioning autism coming into play?

I got formally diagnosed w adhd by my therapist (who has an MA and PhD in psychology and is also an lpcc, ncc, lsp, led, and lsc) and my psychiatrist said therapists can “only make suggestions” and cannot diagnose anything. I was seeing my psychiatrist to switch antidepressants and told her I really struggle w focus and recently got an adhd diagnosis so that any antidepressant I try I really don’t want it to make my focus worse in any way. She said she’ll take me saying I got a diagnosis w a grain of salt. She said unless my therapist is a psychologist that she can’t actually diagnose. My therapist IS a psychologist and like I said had a PhD and several licenses and is recommended by psychology today. I didn’t say anything to that during the appt bc I was so confused and felt so shut down. I feel like my Fahd diagnosis has made a lot of things make sense in my life w how I operate and I was just so lost.

Idk where to move forward from here…is my psychiatrist right that my therapist can’t actually diagnose me? I’ve been seeing her for months and went through all the assessments for adhd so I’m just confused. My psychiatrist had no problem w the depression and anxiety diagnoses but seems to not agree w the adhd one for some reason

Anyone have any suggestions??

I just tried to refill my prescription and was told Kaiser is now requiring everyone with a prescription for a controlled substance to have a "controlled substance therapy plan" in place and to get a drug test and an in person appointment at least once a year.

I have been on the same medication (dexadrine) and the same dosage since 1998. This is such bullshit.

In short, I was recently late-diagnosed at 29.

Pretty typical story. I liked learning and did well in school. Got overwhelmed with the college process so I went to a local college, didn't make connections, started struggling with direction, motivation, etc.

Now I'm just kinda spinning my wheels. I still like learning, and I learn quick. I'm very analytical, I notice a lot of things that others don't. But I'm starting to have a pretty complicated relationship with learning and understanding because... well, it just feels pointless. I'm just going to yap to someone about it all. And I live in the Midwest - with the way the world is right now, understanding societal mechanics actually feels more stressful than it does fun.

Anyway, I digressed slightly. But, yeah, how do you guys cope with feeling like you had/have so much potential but just lack the energy, motivation, direction, etc?

I’m 29 and my girlfriend has ADHD. We’ve been together for a few years. In the beginning, things were very intense, affectionate, and sexual. Over time, especially since living together, intimacy has almost disappeared. We still cuddle and function well day to day, but sex and physical affection have dropped off a lot.

Her position is basically she needs more emotional presence from me first in order to feel safe enough for physical intimacy. My position is almost the opposite: I need physical affection, touch, and intimacy to feel emotionally connected in the relationship.

One thing that makes this hard is communication. When she talks, especially when she’s stressed or activated, it can feel very fast, unstructured, and nonstop. I know that’s not her fault, but sometimes I genuinely struggle to follow, and then she experiences me as emotionally absent or not really listening. So I shut down, she feels unseen, and we both get hurt.

She also has past trauma, so I know ADHD is not the whole story. But I’m trying to understand how much of this dynamic is ADHD related overwhelm communication style, how much is trauma protectiveness, and how much might just be incompatibility.

I’m starting to feel more like a roommate or close friend than a romantic partner, and it’s making me sad.

Has anyone here been in a relationship where ADHD communication patterns + trauma + intimacy mismatch all got mixed together like this? What actually helped?

TL;DR: My girlfriend has ADHD and needs emotional safety before physical intimacy. I need physical affection to feel emotionally connected. Her communication can feel intense, fast, unstructured, I shut down, she feels unseen, and intimacy keeps disappearing. Is this ADHD, trauma, incompatibility, or all of it?

at least, what i think it would be like to drive a car while being blind. im not blind. apologies for being insensitive.

im tumbling again. id finally gotten my energy levels back up again after spending the better part of last year without enough sleep. so i started a gym membership, taking motorcycle lessons that ive been wanting since i was a teenager, picked the rest of my tasks back up at work, even contacted some people about taking some courses for work. but now its all too much.

will i ever learn to anticipate it correctly?

i mean, ive gone through this cycle so many times. youd think one day ill learn, but alas, no such luck yet.

the way in which it feels like driving a car while blind is like, i can only do this by feel alone. but the moment i feel like im going in the right direction, and put a bit more speed into it, the next second i run off the road and i tumble again. then it takes everything i can do to not crash into a tree, managing by sheer luck alone. and so on, and so on.

im still a biological creature, and thus every day is gonna be and feel a little different. one day my energy is high, the other low. one day i can focus, the other i cant. this kinda shit really makes me wish i could be a cyborg or whatever, or just live in a machine.

i need a vacation.

I sent my psychiatrist a message after our last appointment and told him all the things I had prepared for our first appointment that I didn't get to talk about. Thankfully, he was receptive and scheduled another appointment with me a week later. He validated me and agreed that I have ADHD(inattentive). It's been effecting my work to the point where I highly doubt I have a job to go back to when I feel ok again. My partner who I envisioned myself with completely blindsided me, and it broke me, but at least I was able to understand myself better through the turmoil.

I took my normal 300 mg of wellbutrin early today and followed it with my first adderall xr a couple hours later. No euphoria, but I did feel a little amped for the first hour when it kicked in. Had to go for a walk. Instead of ruminating and feeling depressed, I was able to focus on what I wanted to think about for the first time in a very long time. Worked out and hung out with a close friend after. I didn't just talk about how much my life sucks for once. It's incredible to not feel so trapped in my head.

Hello r/ADHD, I’m a 30Y Male. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5Y and was put on ADHD medication basically up until I stopped going to school. Now the medication did help a bit but I still really had a hard time in school. Not academically in the sense of understanding the work but behavior wise which contributed to the bad grades because of so many suspension. So I lot of the 1/4 of the year I was probably suspended or forced to an alternative school.

Now moving in to adulthood I’ve been working since I was 18Y and yet to be able to maintain a job longer than two years. The average is about 6months to 1year at a job. Now truthfully I really have a hard time understanding what I do to get fired because I am told that I have a great work ethic. But I don’t get along with other employees.. or sometimes they think I’m a great worker just not for them. I’ll apply for jobs, interviews go great we talk about management positions because I seem like a great leader. I have college degrees. Shortly there after. I seem to loose the job.

Now I just hope I’m not the only one who has experienced anything like this. And if you have experience anything like this or have any advice to help me out. I am more than willing to listen. Right now I am on 4 different types of medication and have been for a year my doctors say I am the most mentally stable I’ve ever been yet I still can’t keep a job just looking for help, conversations or advice anything please. Just lost