Feeling better than I have in a long time
I sent my psychiatrist a message after our last appointment and told him all the things I had prepared for our first appointment that I didn't get to talk about. Thankfully, he was receptive and scheduled another appointment with me a week later. He validated me and agreed that I have ADHD(inattentive). It's been effecting my work to the point where I highly doubt I have a job to go back to when I feel ok again. My partner who I envisioned myself with completely blindsided me, and it broke me, but at least I was able to understand myself better through the turmoil.
I took my normal 300 mg of wellbutrin early today and followed it with my first adderall xr a couple hours later. No euphoria, but I did feel a little amped for the first hour when it kicked in. Had to go for a walk. Instead of ruminating and feeling depressed, I was able to focus on what I wanted to think about for the first time in a very long time. Worked out and hung out with a close friend after. I didn't just talk about how much my life sucks for once. It's incredible to not feel so trapped in my head.