u/Small-Relationship85

i heard theres a special trans discord but its apparently gatekept inside of in-person events?

would someone be able to pm me the link pls? i can show my hrt and stuff if thats needed

So i was rewatching season 1 cause im very normal about this show and so many things stood out differently now, im anime only btw.

- recontextualises Edwards entire inital character after s2 has teased some sort of trauma he has with the tower, swords, finn, wand graveyard, experiments, whatever.
- finn was the narrator the entire time
- Rosty was there for EVERYTHING (unconfirmed ik but like cmon its 99.9%)
- Headmaster knew the entire time what will would turn out to be, but acted oblivious to everyone not involved with mercedes deal
- workner knew the entire time
- all the talk about Will having inhumane levels of strength, speed, adaptability, combat intellect, combined with the fact that the child in mercedes arms is 99.9% chance will, makes me think hes other a crossbreed between mercedes + a dwarf or whatever finn is, or had something done to him during his conception
- [e17 spoilers] >!the magic thats apparently removed some of wills memories is forbidden magic thats possibly not fully known by the vanders as elfie's assistant said there MAY be memory erasure amongst forbidden spells!<

I'm 22 mtf thats been on hrt for 1.5 years looking for some irl friends or online friends ✨

It feels so weird, my entire family of relatives are, on their own, completely functional and high achieving people, one group are a loving couple that have been together for a long time now, another group are a husband and wife that have raised their 2 sons amazingly with both of them going on to achieve their own amazing things (ones a up-and-coming entrepenure and another is going through law school).

these are not dysfunctional people, they are all out doing their own big things in life and being their own people, even together around the dinner table during events they are genuinely like the families you see in movies no joke! theyre all laughing making good jokes talking about their events recently its all very natural and normal for them.

But when im added to all of this, when my issues are brought up, when im involved in any capacity theres always so much friction and discord, i know they all do truly love me and want nothing than for me to become my best person but theyre way of going about it feels so rough and coarse to me, i know that their intentions only want for me to become a better person, but their methods of doing so cause so much stress, it feels like im being backed into a corner by them a lot and pelted with heart shaped bricks.

I dont know what to do, whenever i bring up my issues and dont react perfectly to their methods of support im seen as mentally ill and in need of external help because to everyone except me it just looks like all these high achieving people trying to help a low achieving broken person.

Context: Trans and have been out to mum for a bit over a year, my real request has been that she uses my chosen name, pronouns have been asked for but never requested as much.

I asked my mum plainly "do you want me to be there on mothers day"
she said yes.
i then told her that i would not feel comfortable attending if she cannot use my chosen name, so i asked her if she could do that.
i did not get a straight answer.
she bounced from "i will not kneel to your demands" to "i cant predict what ill say on that day so i dont know"

Countless times i had to make it clear that there are no demands being made and that im simply offering her my terms and will act according to her answer.
for an extremely long time ive ignored the advice my relatives have given me to seperate myself from her and seek out my own life, the conditions i gave her are acting on the advice that her own children have given me.

After a lot of back and forth she gave me an answer that sounded like she would rather i dont attend mothers day, so i asked her to confirm her intentions so theres zero misscomunication, she only got more and more aggressive, saying things how im holding this over her and demanding things, when im literally leaving 100% of the outcome in her hands.

She double backed to the point that "i cant predict what ill say throughout the day so i cant guarentee it" to which i responded "well mum its actually super easy do you understand now mum?" I've had friends on some days try to hit new pb's on how many times they can squeeze my chosen name into 1 sentence, i dont think its that hard.

After a couple more "i wont kneel to your demands" and "sorry for not knowing any of this fucking gender stuff" i decided to end the conversation and go to my room.

context before continuing: Despite saying yes to using my chosen name 3 times (3 different requests over a month) she has never once naturally said my chosen name, be it in a conversation or calling for my attention. She has however, used it once right after my third request, i however do not consider that a natural use of it as it was 1 minute after i asked her, an entire week has passed since that instance with no natural use of my chosen name.

now continuing the story

mum entered my room and said "ill call you [chosen name] then"
i said "can you guarentee that?"
she then got insanely angry and stormed off saying that what i just did was a massive slap in the face. I dont believe it was, it has been proven to me in the past that she has not made due on that statement and i just wanted absolute confirmation that she would not fail a 4th time.

thats about it, on top of her having said the most heinous transphobic things in the past and being extremely emotionally neglectful and abusive, i will very likely not be attending her mothers day.

aitah?

For context, im about 250k on ambessa and have consistantly played her since her release, im certainly not high elo but have friends in diamond and master who share similar opinions.

I've always believed that Ambessa is not perfectly balanced, ive always seen her as at the very least above average.

Now Ambessa is obviously, not an easy champ and theres definitely a skill to power ratio that she is entitled to.

But compared to other "mechanically demanding" toplaners or just mechanically demanding champs in general (riven, akali, ksante, samira, kalista) ive felt that the skill to power ratio on ambessa is a lot more lopsided compared to the other listed champs.

However, i definitely dont think that hitting her ult was the right move, ults are kinda supposed to be win buttons with counterplay (mostly) as an afterthought, like it would feel super weird if Garen's ult had a 5 second windup or something but i dont think her raw numbers should ever be used as a balance lever either, her frontloaded kit and bursty windows are half the appeal i think.

I've got some ideas for different nerfs that dont involve her windup, i only think she should be hit with 1 maybe 2 of them, these are suggested assuming that she would have the most recent nerf reverted

- base cooldown increase

- hit box thinner

- "slamdown" damage at the end decreased (or maybe removed and replaced with a slow/shred/movement speed boost)

- slight energy cost? (would be refunded with the slamdown at the end)

- slight nerf to ult passive stats? (ik i said number nerfs dont work but this is a bit different as 1-5 would be unaffected)

I dont think the windup is a good lever to shift but i do also think something needs to be done to lower her power a bit, be it an ult nerf or something else.

It feels so weird to get an ego trip over a gamemode that has little to zero signifcance. Like if you 1v9'd your promos and hit a new pb rank id EXPECT someone to flex an achievement like that, it would feel off if they didnt get a big confidence boost.

But why do people have that same ego trip over normals wins? the gamemode is designed to have little to not significance while maintaince some air of competitiveness.

How does a gamemode thats made for non-commital but still somewhat competitive games trigger enough of a response in peoples heads to publicly gloat about it?