u/JarjarOceanrunner

We met via a dating app. Actually had our first date, which I thought went really well. Only for her to reject me when I asked her out on a second date days after. According to her, doesn’t see it working between us. She basically told me we shouldn’t meet anymore but be friendly when we do pass by each other.

This was foolish of me but I asked her if she can give me a second chance because I felt that just one date is not enough to really get to know each other. Sent it. Felt ashamed. Deleted it eventually (it was there for a day)

Days later. She replied to me. Turns out she did see. She told me we can still meet. But she only sees me as a friend. She’s saying this as a boundary so she won’t be unfair. She told me not to get my hopes up.

What would you do?

Honestly it’s me who asked, so maybe I should go? But this girl is saying she only sees me as a friend already. Is she saying this out of pity?

We met on bumble. We went out. I had a great time. She said her as well. I genuinely thought or felt that she did. She was laughing, inside jokes are starting to form, and we were teasing each other. She even extended the date. I will be honest that I was so nervous that I didn’t flirt as much.

Overall a great time, we were even texting each other after the date, and she said we could have taken pictures together. And I just said we can do that next time. I thought she was signaling interest.

After two days, I asked her out again. She replied that she has been thinking that while she genuinely had fun on our date, she doesn’t see it working in the long run. I for sure never offended her. Maybe it was something that I revealed myself? Did I let on I grew up a bit sheltered? I was just being honest. Maybe she felt no sparks? I thought i could that once we’ve broken of the awkwardness of being strangers.

I was devastated honestly. I know most first dates don’t get a second. And I brace myself for rejection when I genuinely felt the date was a bust. But this wasnt a bust.

I told her that I respect her decision, but stupidly asked if she can consider giving me a second chance a thought. I told her that first dates are the worst for me, and I felt that maybe we didn’t have enough info to conclude this connection is not worth pursuing as we were just getting to know each other better.

But I also said that if her decision is truly final, I respect it and harbor no bad feelings for her.

Pls don’t scold me for sending the desperate text because I already did. And I feel disgusting already. Of course I tried to be respectful and amicable, but maybe she now feels she’s right in her decision to reject me. I don’t think my message is unlikely to invite at least a reflection.

She said she doesnt see it working long term.

I told her i understand if she feels that way, but if she’s willing to consider giving me a second chance before making a final decision. I told her we still dont know each other well anyway and whatever her reservations was can be further understood.

Honestly im disgusted at myself for begging (though i tried not to sound desperate) pero i already hit send. Ofc in the end i told her if her decision is truly final i really cant. do anything and im not mad at her

I understand she might have more of a negative view of me after this, but i had to throw that last one hail mary before giving up.

We met on an app. We went out. I had a great time. A really great time in a long while. I thought she did as well. We were even texting after the date.

But after three days since our first date. I asked her out again. She replied that she has been thinking that while she genuinely had fun on our date, she don’t see it long term. She says she hopes that we can still smile and greet each other when we do cross paths again.

I told her that I respect her decision, but stupidly asked if she can consider giving me a second chance a thought. I told her that first dates are the worst for me, and there’s more things to know about each other.

But I also said that if her decision is truly final, I respect it and harbor no bad feelings for her.

Pls don’t scold me for sending the desperate text because I already did. And I feel disgusting already. But what do I do now? I muted her notifications. I’m sure she’s feeling more awkward than it is. I basically threw a Hail Mary and forget.

Had a very good first date. Best even. I know that objectively since I saw her laugh a lot, strong eye contact, curious about me. After the date we’ve been texting more comfortably. Then I asked her out after three days. It seems like she wanna ghost me after not replying for nearly 24 hours.

Do I give up this connection? How long should I wait for her text?

The first date went well. You even asked to extend the time pa nga eh. You texted pa ng gabi after the date na sana nakapagpicture tayo.

We even talked for a few days after the date like mas comfortable na tayo sa isat isa. Ngayon na sinabi ko na gusto ko lumabas tayo ulit, parang you will be ghosting me? Wala pang 24 hours pero ikaw pa nag share ng sched mo. Alam ko na nakita mo na.

Honestly its killing me. I know it takes more than 12 hours (i sent my message 12 hours ago) for her to reply usually but it’s night when she usually send some texts.

Id rather hear her say no tbh. How long should i wait before i treat it as a no

I had a really great time with her. I see that we vibe. And the beginning of chemistry. I was respectful the entire date, but she doesn’t seem to mind “accidental” brushes and closeness. Siya pa nag open up about romantic topics (like dating history) by the end of the date. She might have hinted that we can go out again (but did so non chalantly but whatever).

It has been two days and the topics of the conversation has shifted na from the date. Did I miss my chance to ask her? How should I ask her. Should I be more direct or smooth/casual with it?

About me:
I barely have any female friends to help me with this. I want a female perspective and someone i can chat for the short term at least (for a few days until i score the second date).

About you:
At least 20F
With relationship experience
Objective, neither jaded nor bitter
Willing to give basic info about herself. Baka siya pala kausap ko! Lol

Dw. We will be anonymous except basic info checks

We’ve been chatting over bumble for 2 weeks now when i (28M) decided to ask her out (25F)

We were supposed to meet for 2 hours, which became 4. I think she was forgiving of my mistakes when the cafe was full and we had to find another (and yes she took the lead and found it for us yikes). We talked a lot then right at the end (out of nowhere in my pov) with a soft voice she suddenly asks my relationship history and disclosed hers. We shared vulnerabilities to each other. Then we had an awkward goodbye as if im trying to say something but held back.

Over text i explained i wanted to tell her she was wonderful and i enjoyed my time with her. She said “ah so thats what you wanted to tell me” and “too bad we didnt take a pic together”. I clumsily said “there’s always a next time…right?”.

I know it’s just a day but she hasn’t replied to that and it’s killing me. Now I’m second guessing what I perceived as high interest from her.

We’ve been chatting over an app for 2 weeks now when i decided to ask her out

We were supposed to meet for 2 hours, which became 4. I think she was forgiving of my mistakes when the cafe was full and we had to find another (and yes she took the lead and find it for us yikes eh dapat lalaki mag lead plus ako ang nag aya eh). We talked a lot then right at the end she suddenly asks my relationship history and discloses hers. We had our shared vulnerabilities. Then we had an awkward goodbye as if im trying to say something but held back.

Over text i explained i wanted to tell her she was wonderful and i enjoyed my time with her. She said “ah so thats what you wanted to tell me” and “too bad we didnt take a pic together”. I clumsily said “next time”

Also this first date successful enough to ask for a second?

We’ve been chatting over an app for 2 weeks now when i (28M) decided to ask her out (25F)

We were supposed to meet for 2 hours, which became 4. I think she was forgiving of my mistakes when the cafe was full and we had to find another (and yes she took the lead and find it for us yikes). We talked a lot then right at the end she suddenly asks my relationship history and discloses hers. We had our shared vulnerabilities. Then we had an awkward goodbye as if im trying to say something but held back.

Over text i explained i wanted to tell her she was wonderful and i enjoyed my time with her. She said “ah so thats what you wanted to tell me” and “too bad we didnt take a pic together”. I clumsily said “next time”

In an app, i only use pics that are at least 6 months old. But since that time i lost weight and my hair has some length to it na. Nawala din pimples ko.

Never took a recent pic kasi i havent been in situations na social recently. No vacation, no aesthetic cafes nothing

Edit: its not much weight; same body type pa rin naman clothes fit better and jawline looking more defined. Its just 10pounds

I did in fact get the date. We’re talking about where to go and ofc want to show initiative.

Tips on how to do first dates are also welcome. Tbh i have been in only less than a handful of first dates and either they were horrible or the girl was carrying the date hard lol

I have been talking to this girl from Bumble for two weeks now. Our waking hours dont sync and I dont believe i established a connection until recently.

I still cant get a read of how interested is she but the fact she replies make me want to take the risk and be upfront i wanna take her out. Did i wait too long? I didnt want to ask prematurely too.

I was thinking of a low pressure coffee date or maybe ice cream. But any other ideas are welcome.

Thank you!