r/Bumble

met up with this woman from bumble last week and things got weird fast. we barely exchanged messages before she was pushing to meet that same evening for drinks. during our phone call beforehand, she even brought up me staying at her place which seemed pretty forward for a first meeting.

i suggested getting a hotel room instead but she kept insisting i come back to her apartment, mentioning her roommates would be gone. we started at a couple bars downtown and while the conversation was fine, something felt off about the whole thing.

after we left the second place, this random guy walks up and starts chatting with us. at first i thought he was just some friendly stranger, but she immediately got super comfortable with him like they'd known each other forever. they're sharing drinks and acting way too familiar for people who just met.

then out of nowhere he mentions having drugs back at his place and asks if we want to join him. she got visibly excited about it which made my stomach drop. here i am, not even from this area originally, being invited to do illegal substances with people i barely know at some stranger's house.

when we got to the next transit stop, i told her something came up and i had to go. she tried to convince me to stay but i just left. didn't make accusations or anything dramatic - just trusted my instincts and got out of there.

now i'm second-guessing myself. was this some kind of setup or am i just paranoid? has anyone else run into similar situations on dating apps?

As a 50 year old female if I select this will I seem flakey or just attract the men just after a hook up?

It really does describe where I am - happy and content with my life but would like to meet a man whom I can enjoy spending some of my free time with. And if that leads to someone serious, great and if not, that's fine too. Hopefully we've both enjoyed ourselves. I don't want to put any pressure on myself or the situation. But at the same time, I have no interest in men who aren't honest and decent.

What's the verdict on this?

Been chatting to a guy on bumble for 2 weeks and we sent each other long messages and voice notes.

On Friday evening he messaged me and not got back to my reply. He has not messaged me since and I’m so confused? like did I bore him or what? because it’s been very chatty and flirty but Ive not heard from him since Friday evening. I messaged him earlier to see how his weekend was and no reply.

i checked his profile and his location has also disappeared. Quite annoyed how we spent two weeks getting to know each other and now he’s gone quiet and possibly ghosted me when I thought there was potential.

Should I wait for another day or should so just unmatch him and forget him?

Why do men want things go happen to soon and if women ask for time they ghost you? Why is this ghosting culture too much on Bumble and why can't they just say they are not interested instead.

I get many likes on Bumble, many notes also on Bumble and I only check the profiles that have liked mine or have sent me notes. Once I right swiped they act like they finally found someone to talk to , as if they were never swiped right and they treat us so well and within a day or 2 they wanna meet and when I ask for some more time to chat or talk, they lose interest and they ghost. That makes me feel more insecure and I am slowly loosing confidence. I am looking for a serious relationship and I have mentioned all of those in my bio and the conversation also goes good and interesting, the moment they ask for date the next day and I ask for time they ghost.

genuinely can’t seem to understand, people match and immediately ask for snap, what’s so wrong with talking on the app, if you want to know I’m real there’s call buttons on there ugh and then when I say we can talk on here I never hear back😭I mean I can understand that you think I’m fake but Snapchat?? Anyways I gave one my snap today he has sent me thousands of snaps and I even snapped back and proceeds to ask for more of my “body”😂said no and he removes me, I’m obviously getting the pattern here it never works out moving out to snap, I can do insta just cause it’s a little bit more professional idk but mehn😂I’m done

Would it be bad to respond to someone who reached out about 7 months ago?

I sent the first message (I’m a woman) and he responded.

At the time, it was a busy time and I ended up not responding and he followed up a couple times.

He then said he thought I was cute and sent me his phone number if I wasn’t on the app a lot.

It’s now been months and I started looking at the apps again and saw the message and realized I want to message him.

He’s clearly still on the apps but would this be inappropriate especially since so much time has passed? Or should I just respond since we barely had any interaction in the first place so it doesn’t matter?

Ok so I (26F) met this guy (28M) on Bumble. We’ve been texting every day since we matched and have gone on 2 dates so far. We talk pretty consistently—about our day, plans, casual stuff. He seems like a good guy overall, but something just isn’t clicking for me and I don’t know if I feel romantic attraction.

At the first date everything was fine—pretty short (a bit over an hour), nothing weird, decent vibe.

For the second date, he suggested going to a restaurant, which I appreciated because it showed initiative and interest. I hadn’t eaten beforehand because I thought we will eat at the restaurant. But when we sat down, the first thing he asked was if I wanted to eat. That’s when I realized he didn’t plan to eat. I asked him if he wanted something anyway, and he said he had a late lunch (around 2–3pm; the date was at 7), but that I could eat if I wanted.

That honestly made me a bit uncomfortable—it didn’t feel right to sit there eating alone, so I said I wasn’t that hungry either and suggested dessert instead. Then he made a few kind of subtle jokes implying dessert there was too expensive (it was a fancy restaurant, but it was his idea) and that we should go somewhere else for it. In the end, we just had drinks. What bothered me is that he didn’t communicate beforehand that he didn’t plan to eat—if I had known, I would’ve adjusted too. For context, I’m really not picky about where we go; I’ve told him I’m fine with anything, I just care about getting to know the person.

Conversation-wise, it was okay, but not great. We had eye contact, but sometimes while I was talking he’d get distracted by people passing by (especially women). Later I noticed he kind of scanned everyone, including men, so I figured it might just be a habit of his—but it still made him seem less present in moments. Later, he also made a few comments about how some teenagers were dressed, and it seemed a bit judgmental to me. I told him that, and he said fine, he wouldn’t say anything anymore and made a gesture like he was zipping his mouth shut. After a short while, I told him to go ahead and talk because he wasn’t saying anything anymore, and he said, ‘Oh, okay, now I’m allowed to talk,’ which felt a bit childish, even though he was probably trying to make a joke.

I was also expecting slightly deeper conversations. I tried to steer things that way (like asking about family, etc.), but we mostly stayed on surface-level topics like the city we both live in, weather, what book we read or movie we watched. At one point I asked for his full name (I only knew his first name), and he seemed a bit surprised/like it was a weird question?

He is funny, which helped me feel relaxed, but it also feels like he doesn’t take anything seriously. He also mentioned his ex multiple times in random contexts (like walking around the area “with his ex” or watching certain shows “with his ex”), which felt unnecessary. He said they broke up 6 months ago after a 2-year relationship and that he’s ready for something new.

After the date, we walked a bit and he kissed me twice—but I honestly felt nothing. I know it’s early (we’ve only known each other ~2 weeks), but still.

Since then, he told me he really likes me and is already planning a third date.

Now I’m conflicted. I don’t want to lead him on, but I also wonder if I’m overanalyzing or expecting too much too early. I’ve never been in a relationship before—not because I couldn’t (I went on dates), but because I didn’t want to settle just to fit a timeline and I didn’t find someone that was ready for something serious. I’m looking for a serious relationship, not something casual (I’ve been clear about that, and he said he’s looking for the same.)

I’m very independent and financially secure—I can afford anything I want. I think I tend to overanalyze because I’m so used to being independent, and I genuinely enjoy being on my own.

So I guess my question is: am I overthinking normal early-stage dating stuff, or is it fair to feel like something’s off and step back?

I want to ask something honestly.

Is there anyone here who has been on a date, is currently dating someone, or is looking for a partner?

I just want to understand one thing before dating, what really matters the most?

Is it money

Is it physical appearance or fitness

Or is it experience like how many times you have been on dates before

I have seen different opinions. Some people say experience matters a lot, especially from a guy’s perspective. Others say if you do not have money, or you do not take care of your body, it becomes very difficult to find a match.

But the problem is you cannot focus on everything at once.

At one point, you have to choose

Either focus on your career or money

or your physical fitness

or dating

So what do you all think is the right approach?

How do people actually choose someone What do they really look for

I would really like to hear perspectives from both guys and girls, so it becomes clearer from both sides.

This is just my raw thought and honest question.

I [28F] was attached to him [35M] on the 1st date from Bumble. He made a reservation at nice restaurant, Ubered for me. While eating he told me I had lipstick on my chin and proceeded to keep softly wiping my chin with a napkin where I felt sexual tension. The only problem was that he kept looking at the table behind me, which was a table of girls. I felt like he was flirty making eye contact with a girl. He SAW that I saw him looking. He looked, I looked back; and he was looking at me...It felt almost intentional. I was planing to ghost him because I thought he wasn't interested and wandering eyes red flag for me.. He paid everything, we stepped out the restaurant he pulled me by my arm and kissed me. It was very unexpected but he was a great kisser. While we were kissing, he held me by my butt and pushed me closer to him. Then my Uber pulled up and I left.

He asked 3 times for the second date at Jazz Bar (which I like) I said "I'm busy weekend" (excuse) He said what about Friday? I said I'm also busy. He texted me a day later "How's dinner tonight?"

What's your take on this?

Easily this is the most frustrating app. i understand the competition factor but i think in 6-7 years on and off using bumble ive had about 3 or 4 convos, any other apps i have lots of success its so weird

I bit the bullet and made a profile today, and am guessing that new users get some free boost of some kind because I started getting likes quite fast.

That's when I noticed that the way you actually get to talk with someone as a free user, is to basically swipe right on a blur for each heart. And uh, yeah I don't know about that.

I'm guessing that I get to see the full profile when I swipe the blur, but was wondering what's the normal/maybe expected thing to do if the reveal is, to be blunt, not to your liking. I'm not really asking how to be polite on the chat that opens up, but rather am wondering if the users of the app are mostly aware of this intentional design for non paying users, and don't think too much of getting shot down in a DM that just opened up.