u/Express-Ad-2139

Why would you choose the one that left you in the most heinous way possible and is gone forever, over the one that stayed and tried and is still trying. You once told me about your ex’s all having some major issues and now all I think about is the common denominator. The same one that has me spiraling out over and over. Are you the problem or is my anxious attached self? Something triggered the fear of abandonment! With So much trauma in your life are you sure it’s everyone else? Did it cause you to self sabotage your relationships consciously or subconsciously? Being dismissed so quickly makes me wonder. Love is choosing to work things out together not to cut and RUN. It is the conscious decision to stay, support, grow and work together for each other choosing to help each others and trying to put a smile on their faces. Or is this all about the one the WENT AWAY he didn’t get away he physically took himself away like the other 21 poor souls that day. Ps I know this is f@cked up to say but I still have to and I know it will be very triggering for you if you see it that’s why I’m sending it to the void. Also you are done with me so you say so no skin off you back right? I’m still choosing you just getting my salty side out (next step in the grieving process maybe)

miss my squirtle Damn you team rocket

Happy Mother’s Day I know how important your kids are you and how much you love being their mom. Maybe we can talk when the last one flies the nest and things calm down a bit I know you got a lot going on I’m still here, here for it all

Again, I see these four ones on the clock and again I’m still spiraling out thinking about you. You’re out there looking for a randoms on the Internet and I’m here looking for you good fucking times

I done did it to myself this time! What’s the saying: first time shame on you second time shame on me? think she’s the second one I fallen for with BPD of course she’s undiagnosed. The first one is. I get rid of a long-term BPD person to start dating this amazing woman that shows signs that the first one ha. here I am stuck on this one. luckily she went no contact after trying to breadcrumb me on a little bit. Typical signs of favorite person and discard with the lovely hint of both bipolar disorders shitty childhood resentment towards their parents and the abuse they gave several traumatic life events including suicide, overdoses, SA, eating disorders and all that horrible stuff the difference between the two of them is the brains, and the second one was smart as a whip and a driven little bastard. So im sitting here trying to figure out what’s going on with me because I keep falling for these walking talking nightmares. wtf. I do gotta say when they love you boy does it feel great!! just the discarded part sucks ass and of course, my dumbass thinks I can fix her. I know damn good and well you can’t help them not with out them, acknowledging it and getting into some behavioral training and tons of counseling and I forgot the actual will to change part

It’s 11:11 and I f*cking miss you. You g@y ret@rd I love you

I still hurt. I miss you MWH. The weekend I did some shit that you would love. I did everything except for getting lost in the woods. I even cried after the first 12 pack. you know I don’t get many weekends free, a spiraled out both nights thinking of you while I was in one of your spots