u/DittrichBrother-23

I posted in surviving infidelity about my situation two nights ago. They asked to see the messages I was speaking about, if the texts were a big deal or if I was just blaming my wife, etc. I shared the texts and they then used it to make fun of me and tell me how I deserved everything. I deleted and reposted to infidelity, since the group is a mix of both victims and perpetrators. I’m not a victim but a perpetrator and the person who caused all of this. I know it and I don’t blame my wife nor do I think she caused any of this. Just in case I had to make that clear since apparently everyone just attacked me. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just thinking with the wrong head. It was a one night hookup with someone I found attractive. Unfortunately I realize now that doesn’t make things better or magically absolve the hurtful impact. I regret it and I wish I could take it back. I ruined any credibility of being a solid husband. This is my screwup and not hers.

When my wife found out, it completely almost destroyed our marriage and fully shattered her trust in me. Again.. All on me. I don't know how she found the strength to forgive me but she did. I promised her I would become a better man and better husband. I went to counseling and spent the last two years trying to repair what I broke. Things started feeling safe again between us. But again I think I went wrong by expecting that hurt and insecurity she felt to shrink. I gave her lifelong pain. I acknowledge this again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to for a while to her coworker who is 27. I’m 37 and my wife is 35.

(The texts are on my profiIe.) In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating which shifted the conversation. Her texts soured and she revisited how she felt when I cheated. And you know he purposefully brought that up. She also seems to be attracted to him. She sends those heart eye emojis. She tells him that he looks good. She flirts. She makes suggestive comments. And to top it off.. She has sent him nudes.. And has asked to see him nude. At first I thought to myself, she has no clue how young guys work. When he gets what he wants he’ll disappear. But I checked his average response time to her messages. It’s usually within 1-3 minutes. I analyzed the way he enthusiastically speaks with her. It’s beyond just wanting to tap. I can see that he has a romantic crush on my wife. I can also see that’s why he downplays me in attempts to belittle me as her husband. He is manipulative and my wife seems ignorant to that obvious manipulation.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Thats not my wife’s doing. It’s mine. I am not strong enough to handle this emotionally and I admit that. Emotional affairs almost always end up getting physical. I know it’s hypocritical coming from me after what I did. I understand that. I apologized to her for the emotional damage I caused her when I stepped out, but I told her with honesty I think we are driving our marriage to the dirt and it may be best for us to split. I keep replaying every message I saw in my head. It’s making my blood boil and my chest pound. My heart hurts and my anger is strangling me. What’s bothering me most is she’s probably gonna be with him. After I brought up divorce she stepped outside to get away. Completely understandable. But she was outside on her phone. I saw her on the phone crying to someone. I realized it was most likely him.

I got called out for wanting to divorce after I’m the one who screwed up first and she stayed. But it isn’t about that or forgiveness. It’s because I realized the both of us are now walking on eggshells in our marriage and the trust has been severed. We built our life and our family. Unfortunately it’s damaged from our actions. The divorce is valid, isn’t it?

I posted in surviving infidelity about my situation two nights ago. They asked to see the messages I was speaking about, if the texts were a big deal or if I was just blaming my wife, etc. I shared the texts and they then used it to make fun of me and tell me how I deserved everything. I deleted and reposted to infidelity, since the group is a mix of both victims and perpetrators. And that’s when I realized I don’t need any advice or “pity.” I really just need to vent that I’m the idiot who ruined everything. I’m not a victim but a perpetrator and the person who caused all of this. I know it and I don’t blame my wife nor do I think she caused any of this. Just in case I had to make that clear since apparently everyone just attacked me. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just thinking with the wrong head. It was a one night hookup with someone I found attractive. Unfortunately I realize now that doesn’t make things better or magically absolve the hurtful impact. I regret it and I wish I could take it back. I ruined any credibility of being a solid husband. This is my screwup and not hers.

When my wife found out, it completely almost destroyed our marriage and fully shattered her trust in me. Again.. All on me. I don't know how she found the strength to forgive me but she did. I promised her I would become a better man and better husband. I went to counseling and spent the last two years trying to repair what I broke. Things started feeling safe again between us. But again I think I went wrong by expecting that hurt and insecurity she felt to shrink. I gave her lifelong pain. I acknowledge this again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to for a while to her coworker who is 27. I’m 37 and my wife is 35.

(The texts are on my profiIe.) In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating which shifted the conversation. Her texts soured and she revisited how she felt when I cheated. And you know he purposefully brought that up. She also seems to be attracted to him. She sends those heart eye emojis. She tells him that he looks good. She flirts. She makes suggestive comments. And to top it off.. She has sent him nudes.. And has asked to see him nude. At first I thought to myself, she has no clue how young guys work. When he gets what he wants he’ll disappear. But I checked his average response time to her messages. It’s usually within 1-3 minutes. I analyzed the way he enthusiastically speaks with her. It’s beyond just wanting to tap. I can see that he has a romantic crush on my wife. I can also see that’s why he downplays me in attempts to belittle me as her husband. He is manipulative and my wife seems ignorant to that obvious manipulation.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Thats not my wife’s doing. It’s mine. I am not strong enough to handle this emotionally and I admit that. Emotional affairs almost always end up getting physical. I know it’s hypocritical coming from me after what I did. I understand that. I apologized to her for the emotional damage I caused her when I stepped out, but I told her with honesty I think we are driving our marriage to the dirt and it may be best for us to split. I keep replaying every message I saw in my head. It’s making my blood boil and my chest pound. My heart hurts and my anger is strangling me. What’s bothering me most is she’s probably gonna be with him. After I brought up divorce she stepped outside to get away. Completely understandable. But she was outside on her phone. I saw her on the phone crying to someone. I realized it was most likely him.

The real pain is we have kids together. We built our life and our family. Unfortunately it’s damaged from our actions.

I posted in surviving infidelity about my situation two nights ago. They asked to see the messages I was speaking about, if the texts were a big deal or if I was just blaming my wife, etc. I shared the texts and they then used it to make fun of me and tell me how I deserved everything. I deleted and reposted to infidelity, since the group is a mix of both victims and perpetrators. I’m not a victim but a perpetrator and the person who caused all of this. I know it and I don’t blame my wife nor do I think she caused any of this. Just in case I had to make that clear since apparently everyone just attacked me. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just thinking with the wrong head. It was a one night hookup with someone I found attractive. Unfortunately I realize now that doesn’t make things better or magically absolve the hurtful impact. I regret it and I wish I could take it back. I ruined any credibility of being a solid husband. This is my screwup and not hers.

When my wife found out, it completely almost destroyed our marriage and fully shattered her trust in me. Again.. All on me. I don't know how she found the strength to forgive me but she did. I promised her I would become a better man and better husband. I went to counseling and spent the last two years trying to repair what I broke. Things started feeling safe again between us. But again I think I went wrong by expecting that hurt and insecurity she felt to shrink. I gave her lifelong pain. I acknowledge this again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to for a while to her coworker who is 27. I’m 37 and my wife is 35.

(The texts are on my profiIe.) In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating which shifted the conversation. Her texts soured and she revisited how she felt when I cheated. And you know he purposefully brought that up. She also seems to be attracted to him. She sends those heart eye emojis. She tells him that he looks good. She flirts. She makes suggestive comments. And to top it off.. She has sent him nudes.. And has asked to see him nude. At first I thought to myself, she has no clue how young guys work. When he gets what he wants he’ll disappear. But I checked his average response time to her messages. It’s usually within 1-3 minutes. I analyzed the way he enthusiastically speaks with her. It’s beyond just wanting to tap. I can see that he has a romantic crush on my wife. I can also see that’s why he downplays me in attempts to belittle me as her husband. He is manipulative and my wife seems ignorant to that obvious manipulation.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Thats not my wife’s doing. It’s mine. I am not strong enough to handle this emotionally and I admit that. Emotional affairs almost always end up getting physical. I know it’s hypocritical coming from me after what I did. I understand that. I apologized to her for the emotional damage I caused her when I stepped out, but I told her with honesty I think we are driving our marriage to the dirt and it may be best for us to split. I keep replaying every message I saw in my head. It’s making my blood boil and my chest pound. My heart hurts and my anger is strangling me. What’s bothering me most is she’s probably gonna be with him. After I brought up divorce she stepped outside to get away. Completely understandable. But she was outside on her phone. I saw her on the phone crying to someone. I realized it was most likely him.

The real pain is we have kids together. We built our life and our family. Unfortunately it’s damaged from our actions.

I posted in surviving infidelity about my situation two nights ago. They asked to see the messages I was speaking about, if the texts were a big deal or if I was just blaming my wife, etc. I shared the texts and they then used it to make fun of me and tell me how I deserved everything. I deleted and reposted to infidelity, since the group is a mix of both victims and perpetrators. I’m not a victim but a perpetrator and the person who caused all of this. I know it and I don’t blame my wife nor do I think she caused any of this. Just in case I had to make that clear since apparently everyone just attacked me. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just thinking with the wrong head. It was a one night hookup with someone I found attractive. Unfortunately I realize now that doesn’t make things better or magically absolve the hurtful impact. I regret it and I wish I could take it back. I ruined any credibility of being a solid husband. This is my screwup and not hers.

When my wife found out, it completely almost destroyed our marriage and fully shattered her trust in me. Again.. All on me. I don't know how she found the strength to forgive me but she did. I promised her I would become a better man and better husband. I went to counseling and spent the last two years trying to repair what I broke. Things started feeling safe again between us. But again I think I went wrong by expecting that hurt and insecurity she felt to shrink. I gave her lifelong pain. I acknowledge this again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to for a while to her coworker who is 27. I’m 37 and my wife is 35.

(The texts are on my profiIe.) In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating which shifted the conversation. Her texts soured and she revisited how she felt when I cheated. And you know he purposefully brought that up. She also seems to be attracted to him. She sends those heart eye emojis. She tells him that he looks good. She flirts. She makes suggestive comments. And to top it off.. She has sent him nudes.. And has asked to see him nude. At first I thought to myself, she has no clue how young guys work. When he gets what he wants he’ll disappear. But I checked his average response time to her messages. It’s usually within 1-3 minutes. I analyzed the way he enthusiastically speaks with her. It’s beyond just wanting to tap. I can see that he has a romantic crush on my wife. I can also see that’s why he downplays me in attempts to belittle me as her husband. He is manipulative and my wife seems ignorant to that obvious manipulation.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Thats not my wife’s doing. It’s mine. I am not strong enough to handle this emotionally and I admit that. Emotional affairs almost always end up getting physical. I know it’s hypocritical coming from me after what I did. I understand that. I apologized to her for the emotional damage I caused her when I stepped out, but I told her with honesty I think we are driving our marriage to the dirt and it may be best for us to split. I keep replaying every message I saw in my head. It’s making my blood boil and my chest pound. My heart hurts and my anger is strangling me. What’s bothering me most is she’s probably gonna be with him. After I brought up divorce she stepped outside to get away. Completely understandable. But she was outside on her phone. I saw her on the phone crying to someone. I realized it was most likely him.

The real pain is we have kids together. We built our life and our family. Unfortunately it’s damaged from our actions.

I’m from Facebook technically since I’m barely active here apart from scrolling. I was/am part of a group called Divorced Dad Support. Me and my wife are still technically together, but I think I am ready to file for divorce and I’ve told her that. I was messaging a guy on Facebook who recommended I post on Reddit if I want broader support. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just being horny. The woman meant nothing to me, it was a one night hookup with someone I thought was hot. I absolutely regret it because I was thinking with the wrong “brain.” I would never and I mean never in my life do something like that again. Never.

When my wife found out it nearly broke everything and it broke her. I don’t know how she had the strength to forgive me but I was thankful. I promised I’d do better and I’d be better, I ensured her I didn’t have any external feelings. I went to a lot of counseling to fix things and be a better man to her. I truly did. Her trust had started to slowly return and I think she got to a place where she felt comfortable with me again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to her coworker who is only 27. (Im 37 and my wife is 35.)

In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating. Then her texts start to sour and become more sad and she mentions that she feels less desirable. Like he purposefully brought that up. And she seems to be attracted to him judging by the fact that in later convos, she sends heart eye emojis and tells him that he looks good, makes suggestive comments, … And sent him a nude picture… I thought this kid is just trying to smash. But no, he engages with her all day seems interested in everything she has to say and is enthusiastic about her. It’s clear to me he has a romantic crush on my wife and shit talked me so he could paint me out as a bad guy. Which tells me he’s manipulative as hell.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Emotional affairs almost always end up going physical. I know it’s hypocritical because what I did was wrong, but it was a one night thing which we worked through. I never had any long drawn out conversations with that woman. I sat my wife down and told her I saw her messages with her coworker, and that I'm sorry for how bad I hurt her when I stepped out, but ultimately I think we need to divorce.

About an hour after that conversation, she was in her car crying. I wasn’t being mean and I was soft spoken when we talked about it. But I saw her immediately get on her phone and she was crying to someone. Assumingly him, because who else. We have kids together which hurts me so bad. I’m just done and we’re done. Sorry this post is very long but my heart is broken man and I just need support. And yes I know I caused everything. I’m not blaming my wife and I’m not saying she caused anything. I know it’s fully on me. This is a vent.

Texts. https://www.reddit.com/u/DittrichBrother-23/s/peCBry3UU7

Hey all. I’m from Facebook technically since I’m barely active here apart from scrolling. I was/am part of a group called “Divorced Dad Support - You’re Not Alone.” Me and my wife are still technically together, but I think I am ready to file for divorce and I’ve told her that. I was messaging a guy on Facebook who recommended I post on Reddit if I want broader support. Two years ago I stepped out on my wife. I was just being horny. The woman meant nothing to me, it was a one night hookup with someone I thought was hot. I absolutely regret it because I was thinking with the wrong “brain.” I would never and I mean never in my life do something like that again. Never.

When my wife found out it nearly broke everything and it broke her. I don’t know how she had the strength to forgive me but I was thankful. I promised I’d do better and I’d be better, I ensured her I didn’t have any external feelings. I went to a lot of counseling to fix things and be a better man to her. I truly did. Her trust had started to slowly return and I think she got to a place where she felt comfortable with me again. Few days ago I saw a very strange email in her laptop. I couldn’t tell if it was professional or flirtatious or what but it sure as shit read as incredibly inappropriate. It urged me to check her phone. I saw that she had been talking to her coworker who is only 27. (Im 37 and my wife is 35.)

In the first few messages he asks about me, she starts off speaking highly of me and praising me but he brings up me cheating. Then her texts start to sour and become more sad and she mentions that she feels less desirable. Like he purposefully brought that up. And she seems to be attracted to him judging by the fact that in later convos, she sends heart eye emojis and tells him that he looks good, makes suggestive comments, … And sent him a nude picture… I thought this kid is just trying to smash. But no, he engages with her all day seems interested in everything she has to say and is enthusiastic about her. It’s clear to me he has a romantic crush on my wife and shit talked me so he could paint me out as a bad guy. Which tells me he’s manipulative as hell.

Ultimately with what I saw, I don’t have the strength to work through that. Emotional affairs almost always end up going physical. I know it’s hypocritical because what I did was wrong, but it was a one night thing which we worked through. I never had any long drawn out conversations with that woman. I sat my wife down and told her I saw her messages with her coworker, and that I'm sorry for how bad I hurt her when I stepped out, but ultimately I think we need to divorce.

About an hour after that conversation, she was in her car crying. I wasn’t being mean and I was soft spoken when we talked about it. But I saw her immediately get on her phone and she was crying to someone. Assumingly him, because who else. We have kids together which hurts me so bad. I’m just done and we’re done. Sorry this post is very long but my heart is broken man and I just need support. And yes I know I caused everything.