u/Consistent-While-424

I (27M) met my friend (25F) through a mutual friend. I am an INTJ and dismissive avoidant and she is an ESFP with a Fearful Avoidant attachment style. We grew closer over few months (I was not open to dating anyone). She started to share all her past trauma, SA incidents, parental abuse etc. I felt compassion for her and was very empathetic (cognitive) towards her.

As days went by she started to get extremely flirty and suggestive, For example: rubbing my inner thigh (and asking if anything happen), asking me to remove my shirt while in her car, calling me "daddy" randomly, asking me to "be a man" occasionally, spending a lot of 1-on-1 time at my place in my bed etc. I played it all off as something silly and didn't act upon any of it. One day I did tell her that "this is giving me thoughts" to which she replied "Well! That is the plan". Apart from this she started showering me with lots of admiration and complements to a point of disregarding other male friends we have in common, it felt like pedestal treatment.

All this was screaming "She is attracted to you" to my INTJ brain. One of the days she was at my place she hugged me very tight (she was thanking me for something). My thought process was: "She really wants it". I grabbed her chin and went for a kiss. She was shocked and taken aback. I apologised for making her feel uncomfortable. She said that she never saw me like that.

I couldn't wrap my head around how someone could be so consistent with their signalling and deny any attraction. Is this the classic fearful avoidant push pull dynamic? Because upon confronting her and suggesting cutting all contact, she admitted to acting "morally grey" and that it was the "biggest fumble" of her life. I just feel used for being emotionally available, for her emotional regulation.

I (27M) met my friend (25F) through a mutual friend. I am an INTJ and dismissive avoidant and she is an ESFP with a Fearful Avoidant attachment style. We grew closer over few months (I was not open to dating anyone). She started to share all her past trauma, SA incidents, parental abuse etc. I felt a deep sense of compassion for her and was very empathetic (cognitive) towards her.

As days went by she started to get extremely flirty and suggestive, For example: rubbing my inner thigh (and asking if anything happen), asking me to remove my shirt while in her car, calling me "daddy" randomly, asking me to "be a man" occasionally, spending a lot of 1-on-1 time at my place in my bed etc. I played it all off as something silly and didn't act upon any of it. One day I did tell her that "this is giving me thoughts" to which she replied "Well! That is the plan". Apart from this she started showering me with lots of admiration and complements to a point of disregarding other male friends we have in common, it felt like pedestal treatment.

All this was screaming "She is attracted to you" to my INTJ brain. One of the days she was at my place she hugged me very tight (she was thanking me for something). My thought process was: "She really wants it". I grabbed her chin and went for a kiss. She was shocked and taken aback. I apologised for making her feel uncomfortable. She said that she never saw me like that

I couldn't wrap my head around how someone could be so consistent with their signalling and deny any attraction. I did a bit of digging and stumbled upon the concept of 'limerence'. Was this limerence at play? Because it sucks to be led on like this.